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People We Hate at the Wedding Paperback – June 5, 2018

3.4 3.4 out of 5 stars 2,142 ratings

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The People We Hate at the Wedding is now a major motion picture starring Kristen Bell, Allison Janney and Ben Platt!

"It’s for the same audience that flocked to
The Nest, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? or dare I say a little book you might be a fan of, Crazy Rich Asians."
Kevin Kwan, New York Times bestselling author of Crazy Rich Asians

Relationships are awful. They'll kill you, right up to the point where they start saving your life.

Paul and Alice’s half-sister Eloise is getting married! In London! There will be fancy hotels, dinners at “it” restaurants and a reception at a country estate complete with tea lights and embroidered cloth napkins.

They couldn’t hate it more.

The People We Hate at the Wedding is the story of a less than perfect family. Donna, the clan’s mother, is now a widow living in the Chicago suburbs with a penchant for the occasional joint and more than one glass of wine with her best friend while watching House Hunters International. Alice is in her thirties, single, smart, beautiful, stuck in a dead-end job where she is mired in a rather predictable, though enjoyable, affair with her married boss. Her brother Paul lives in Philadelphia with his older, handsomer, tenured track professor boyfriend who’s recently been saying things like “monogamy is an oppressive heteronormative construct,” while eyeing undergrads. And then there’s Eloise. Perfect, gorgeous, cultured Eloise. The product of Donna’s first marriage to a dashing Frenchman, Eloise has spent her school years at the best private boarding schools, her winter holidays in St. John and a post-college life cushioned by a fat, endless trust fund. To top it off, she’s infuriatingly kind and decent.

As this estranged clan gathers together, and Eloise's walk down the aisle approaches, Grant Ginder brings to vivid, hilarious life the power of family, and the complicated ways we hate the ones we love the most in the most bitingly funny, slyly witty and surprisingly tender novel you’ll read this year.

"Sinfully good."
― Elin Hilderbrand

Entertainment Weekly's Summer Must-Read
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Fact: best title of any novel ever. This story about a dysfunctional blended family and a wedding in England is sinfully good."
― Elin Hilderbrand

"A feast of bitchy characters, dysfunctional family dynamics and hilarious, over-the-top catastrophe."
― People

"Ginder takes family dysfunction to its hysterical limit in this joyously ribald, sharply cynical, and impossible-to-put-down examination of love and loyalty."
Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

"The summer’s most compelling fictional exploration of affluence and envy, it skillfully mingles the introspective ways of a domestic novel with the juicy stratagems of a page turner...Especially well-suited to this summer of our discontent. Like all the best beach reads, it eats the rich like so many frozen grapes."
― Bloomberg BusinessWeek

"
An over-the-top dishfest that atones for the sins of its characters with sly humor and a surprisingly big heart."
― Departures

"
Reading this book is like watching a really good indie rom-com...It’s a dysfunctional family saga; sort of like Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney’s “The Nest” last year, but funnier... Ginder finds that careful balance of making fun of his characters while maintaining affection for them; by this saga’s end, you wish them all well."
― The Seattle Times

"A vibrant celebration of the modern family and all the crazy, hilarious and wild ways we love each other...This is the best wedding drama since My Best Friend's Wedding."
Redbook

"Witty and completely absorbing,
The People We Hate at the Wedding is family dysfunction at its best ―full of heart, humor, and jealous siblings. This novel is addicting and entertaining and I couldn't put it down!"
― Jennifer Close, New York Times bestselling author of Girls in White Dresses and The Hopefuls

"Not only does it have the best title in the universe,
The People We Hate At The Wedding is wickedly smart and shamelessly funny. Grant Ginder brilliantly captures privileged Brits clashing against semi-privileged Americans in the most hilariously cringeworthy ways. Cluelessly self-absorbed, appallingly outrageous, and so very endearing, these are characters I hope to be seated with at the next wedding I attend."
―Kevin Kwan, New York Times bestselling author of Crazy Rich Asians and China Rich Girlfriend

"Don't be fooled by the superbly sardonic title―Grant Ginder's subject is not hate at all: it's love. Ginder expertly and hilariously shows us that real love (whether romantic or fraternal, parental or filial) is always a most complicated matter."
Rumaan Alam, author of Rich and Pretty

"Ginder successfully captures the clash between people who are intimately connected yet deeply at odds. These characters are completely clueless and utterly self-absorbed yet highly likable, their trials and tribulations painful at times and joyful at others but always entertaining. Ginder’s latest is a fascinating exploration of family dynamics and the complex way we interact with those who know us best."
― Booklist, Starred Review

"It turns out that the people we hate at the wedding are the very people we most love reading about. Grant Ginder's smart, funny novel is madly insightful and contains some of the most delightfully difficult and fabulously flawed characters I've encountered in a long time. I found myself worrying about them as I drove to work, hoping things would turn out well for (almost) all of them."
― Stephen McCauley, bestselling author of The Object of My Affection

"Ginder has a gift for the gleefully outrageous, dishing out one over-the-top scene after another... A daisy chain of debacles makes time spent with people we hate good fun."
Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Grant Ginder is the author of several novels, including The People We Hate at the Wedding, which has been adapted into a major motion picture starring Allison Janney, Kristen Bell, and Ben Platt. Originally from Southern California, Ginder received his MFA from New York University, where he teaches writing.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Flatiron Books; Reprint edition (June 5, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 334 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1250095220
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1250095220
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.35 x 1.2 x 8.2 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.4 3.4 out of 5 stars 2,142 ratings

About the author

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Grant Ginder
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Grant Ginder is the author of five novels, including Let's Not Do That Again and The People We Hate at the Wedding (soon to be a major motion picture starring Allison Janney, Kristen Bell, and Ben Platt). Originally from Southern California, Ginder received his MFA from New York University, where he teaches writing.

Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @GrantGinder

Customer reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
2,142 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers enjoyed the book and found it an engaging, quick read. However, some felt the story was weak and unsatisfying. The characters were described as whiney, annoying, and unlikable. Opinions differed on the writing quality - some found it witty and well-written, while others considered it poorly written with clichés. There were mixed views on the family dynamics, with some finding them relatable and complicated, while others found them unrealistic and unrelatable.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

53 customers mention "Readability"49 positive4 negative

Customers enjoy reading the book. They find it entertaining, engaging, and a fast-paced read suitable for summer. However, some readers feel the characters are not very nice.

"...The Moment of Truth was good enough that it made reading the book entirely worthwhile. What a relief!..." Read more

"...relationships are on exhibit in Grant Ginder's formulaic but good novel, "People We Hate At The Wedding"...." Read more

"...A must read for the summer...." Read more

"...It's a refreshing twist on the dysfunctional family genre and so. Much. Fun...." Read more

16 customers mention "Read pace"12 positive4 negative

Customers find the book a quick and enjoyable read. They find it timely, though political.

"...Not that it's in anyway overtly political, but the book itself feels timely, given the sad, angry state of affairs we find ourselves in...." Read more

"I didn't like the characters, the plot is predictable, but it's a simple reading if you want something forgettable." Read more

"It was alright ... kind of slow moving and I did not like the way it ended!" Read more

"easy reading to unwind and relax" Read more

55 customers mention "Writing quality"31 positive24 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the writing quality of the book. Some find it witty, well-written, and funny with several laugh-out-loud moments. Others feel the writing is poor, clichéd, and crude.

"...As discussed above, there's plenty of sly humor directed at your typical white progressive enclaves...." Read more

"...The lead up to the wedding could have been fun. It was also crass and crude, where it needn't have been...." Read more

"...Grant Ginder's writing is very good. Eloise, Paul, and Alice are caricatures but somehow Ginder manages to breathe life into them and their problems...." Read more

"...Ginder's book brings all of this to life in such a raw, witty, and ultimately heartwarming way. A must read for the summer...." Read more

53 customers mention "Family dynamics"35 positive18 negative

Customers have different views on the family dynamics in the book. Some find it insightful and engaging, capturing the highs and lows of a dysfunctional family with humor. Others feel the ending leaves many unresolved conflicts and seems abrupt.

"...book brings all of this to life in such a raw, witty, and ultimately heartwarming way. A must read for the summer...." Read more

"...down the aisle approaches, Grant Ginder brings to vivid, hilarious life the power of family, and the complicated ways we hate the ones we love the..." Read more

"...But the family under the microscope here isn't fun and dysfunctional so much as it's mostly not functional and full of bad feelings...." Read more

"I devoured this thing in an afternoon. It's a refreshing twist on the dysfunctional family genre and so. Much. Fun...." Read more

74 customers mention "Story quality"10 positive64 negative

Customers find the story unengaging and lacking in compelling elements. They describe the plot as weak and unsatisfying, mentioning it's disjointed and unhappy. The characters are unlikable and predictable, with no interesting aspects about them. While the writing is nice, the theme lacks entertainment value, and there is no humor or wit.

"...microscope here isn't fun and dysfunctional so much as it's mostly not functional and full of bad feelings...." Read more

"...didn't like about the book was that it ended and some of the issues never get resolved." Read more

"...There was nothing hilarious, bitingly funny, slyly witty, or surprisingly tender about this novel...." Read more

"What a disjointed and unhappy story...." Read more

68 customers mention "Character likability"18 positive50 negative

Customers dislike the characters. They find them whiney, annoying, and immature. The female characters are not much better, and the story is flat.

"...Most disappointingly, at least one central character proved thoroughly unlikable, which really eroded my interest in the plot and the family..." Read more

"...The female characters were not much better and considering that it was the sisters wedding thought there might be more interaction with her...." Read more

"...The other characters are interesting in a sort of distant way. I enjoyed the novel, though I felt the ending was a bit rushed...." Read more

"...Most of the lead characters behave badly. Not only that but it is less then enjoyable to hear what they are thinking and feeling...." Read more

15 customers mention "Likability"0 positive15 negative

Customers dislike the book's likability. They find the characters unlikable, unrelatable, and self-pitying. The premise is preposterous and unrealistic, with self-centered and petty characters. Many readers felt the book was poorly written with clichéd content.

"...fun and dysfunctional so much as it's mostly not functional and full of bad feelings...." Read more

"...None of the characters is likable, and none have any redeeming virtues. I am sorry I finished this novel. And I am sorry I paid for it...." Read more

"...They have zero redeeming qualities. As bad as people can be, everyone has a least something about him or her that isn't this terrible...." Read more

"...Instead, the family is beyond dysfunctional and the book is filled with sadness and all sorts of failed relationships...." Read more

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2017
    I like to read a book each summer that puts the fun back in family dysfunction. Think The Nest, or The Vacationers: they feature engaging premises, somewhat happy endings, relatable characters (including at least one who's wry and secretly sentimental). It's a guilty pleasure to peek through the literary hedges, as it were, and witness adult children fighting with their siblings, trying to figure out their parents, and kvetching over how they're destined to screw up their own offspring. Not only do such books temporarily slake my thirst for knowing about the minutiae of other people's lives, but they also helps me see my own family's quirks and crooked pieces in a more loving and favorable light. (Sure, we have our rough and scaly bits, but at least we're not those people!)

    This book did not live up to the expectations it set up through its relentless marketing campaign. It has no one to blame but itself - and its publishing house. The dysfunction was there for sure, but the fun? Well, not so much. It started out with some entertaining skewering of #whitepeopleproblems, from the world of behavioral therapy to the insanely dreadful echo chamber that is the ivory tower, and kept up this sly evisceration throughout the book: gay hipsters, wedding planning, the world of trust fund charity organizations, social media, and so on.

    Don't get me wrong: I like to snicker at thirty somethings living for Instagram likes as much as the next girl. But it wasn't enough. Most disappointingly, at least one central character proved thoroughly unlikable, which really eroded my interest in the plot and the family altogether. That problem, coupled with the sad fact that the plot wasn't nearly as funny as it suggested it would be, led me into def disappointed territory. Again, positioning was to blame. I mean, come on! Don't compare your project with Where'd You Go, Bernadette? and then proceed to allow deep bitterness, self-righteous rage, and outright rudeness to dominate the book's overarching tone.

    It won't surprise you at this point, then, to learn that I almost gave up on this book around the 2/3 point, when it became clear that anything in the way of charming resolutions were not on the agenda. But I'd already gone so far, see? So I kept at it, scuffing along until suddenly - suddenly! - the tide turned, at first just a little and then...then, BAM! all at once, with a glorious and most welcome Moment of Truth. It was exactly what I was waiting for, and I didn't even know it!

    The Moment of Truth was good enough that it made reading the book entirely worthwhile. What a relief!

    What else can I say, really? Don't plunge into this book thinking that this it's the light-hearted family book of the summer, because it's not. As discussed above, there's plenty of sly humor directed at your typical white progressive enclaves. But the family under the microscope here isn't fun and dysfunctional so much as it's mostly not functional and full of bad feelings. Read the book if you're a bride to be, if you're in need of a reminder that you're (probably) not nearly as terrible as SOME people are, if you need to feel better about your own family's shortcomings, or (last but not least) if you still don't get why social etiquette matters. Or just read it if you like to be surprised with a perfect moment.

    Two and a half stars, not three.
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 9, 2017
    Weddings can stir up many emotions within a family unit. Usually happy feelings, but sometimes not as members consider their own relationships with the "Happy Couple" and with each other. Weddings can also cause contrary feelings among those divorced or widowed. And many of those strained relationships are on exhibit in Grant Ginder's formulaic but good novel, "People We Hate At The Wedding".

    Ginder's novel is a look at the wedding of American Eloise to her British fiance Oliver. The wedding is taking place in England; London and the south of the country are spots in the long, hot wedding weekend. While most is calm in Ollie's family - father, mother, and only child - it's a bit different in Eloise's family group. Eloise is the daughter of a wealthy French father and a middle-class American mother. (One of the questions in the book would be how this disparate couple ever got together in the first place). Her parents are divorced; the mother - Donna - went on to marry another husband and have two more children, Paul and Alice. As the story opens, Donna is widowed and living in a middle-class Chicago suburb. Her two younger children seem to be like many 30 year olds today. Alice is struggling with a career and love life in Los Angeles. Paul, a gay man, is struggling in Philadelphia with his career and love life. The one child making her way successfully in the world is Eloise, that older, richer sister who has floated in and out of her half-siblings's lives over the years. Eloise brings everyone together in England for her wedding and the hijinks and family anguish begin.

    Grant Ginder's writing is very good. Eloise, Paul, and Alice are caricatures but somehow Ginder manages to breathe life into them and their problems. The other characters are interesting in a sort of distant way. I enjoyed the novel, though I felt the ending was a bit rushed. Rushed...but somehow appropriate.
    20 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2017
    Grant Ginder's The People We Hate at the Wedding isn't really about a wedding. And you'll find that the most hateable people are really Ginder's main characters themselves. Except you won't be able to hate them at all. Instead, I found myself laughing at them, and then laughing at myself for having felt so many of the same things and having behaved in many of the same ways they do (at least just a little bit).

    We all feel jealousy, struggle with insecurities, and fiercely defend and support our families when it matters most - despite not being able to stand them sometimes. Ginder's book brings all of this to life in such a raw, witty, and ultimately heartwarming way.

    A must read for the summer. Reviewers who found the book too cynical or the characters too unlikeable should consider some introspection over a few glasses of wine!
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2017
    Saw this on people magazine and thought that it would be an interesting read. Was defintily that, but not in a good way.

    The basic story is that a pair of siblings go to their spoiled sisters wedding in England. The only character that I even sort of liked was the brother, and even then he started to get annoying. The female characters were not much better and considering that it was the sisters wedding thought there might be more interaction with her. The one major thing I didn't like about the book was that it ended and some of the issues never get resolved.

Top reviews from other countries

  • baldrick
    1.0 out of 5 stars don't buy this book unless you have trouble sleeping
    Reviewed in Canada on August 2, 2017
    if ever there was a book that was as boring as this one; so full of self conscious cliche! Repetitive and (did I mention Repetitive). It was a sad, sad day when a tree was cut down so that this dog doodoo could see the light of day.
  • B
    2.0 out of 5 stars The Reviews are Misleading
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 20, 2023
    I enjoyed this book and I found the prose to be compelling and beautifully constructed. The author I'd obviously intelligent and cultured, I'd say a damn sight more than I. However, reviews promised laughter and humour as opposed to just character analyses on loathsome people. I'd hoped the book would spend the first half knocking the characters down only to build them up or teach us that family is our saving grace but aside from am attempt at a point on the last page the entire book is just a thesis on why awful people are awful.
    As long as you don't want to laugh though, I'd still recommend the book x
  • Myrna
    1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
    Reviewed in Canada on June 10, 2017
    It was so short and there was know story to it. Maybe it didn't get it all?
  • Marian Corcoran
    1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
    Reviewed in Canada on October 2, 2017
    Quite predictable and a bit boring. This would make a better movie.
  • SIMONE ACTON
    1.0 out of 5 stars Poor book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 23, 2017
    Didn't like it and couldn't even finish it