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With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial Paperback – December 18, 2018

by Kathryn Mannix (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 4,619 ratings
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For readers of Atul Gawande and Paul Kalanithi, a palliative care doctor's breathtaking stories from 30 years spent caring for the dying.

Modern medical technology is allowing us to live longer and fuller lives than ever before. And for the most part, that is good news. But with changes in the way we understand medicine come changes in the way we understand death. Once a familiar, peaceful, and gentle -- if sorrowful -- transition, death has come to be something from which we shield our eyes, as we prefer to fight desperately against it rather than accept its inevitability.

Dr. Kathryn Mannix has studied and practiced palliative care for thirty years. In With the End in Mind , she shares beautifully crafted stories from a lifetime of caring for the dying, and makes a compelling case for the therapeutic power of approaching death not with trepidation, but with openness, clarity, and understanding.

Weaving the details of her own experiences as a caregiver through stories of her patients, their families, and their distinctive lives, Dr. Mannix reacquaints us with the universal, but deeply personal, process of dying. With insightful meditations on life, death, and the space between them, With the End in Mind describes the possibility of meeting death gently, with forethought and preparation, and shows the unexpected beauty, dignity, and profound humanity of life coming to an end.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    352 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Little, Brown Spark
  4. Publication date
    December 18, 2018
  5. Dimensions
    5.45 x 1.3 x 8.2 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0316504475
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0316504478
  8. See all details
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Popular Highlights in this book
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  1. There are only two days with fewer than twenty-four hours in each lifetime, sitting like bookends astride our lives: one is celebrated every year, yet it is the other that makes us see living as precious.
    Highlighted by 812 Kindle readers
  2. Enabling people to be architects of their own solution is key to respecting their dignity. They are only in a new phase of life; they have not abdicated personhood.
    Highlighted by 419 Kindle readers
  3. It’s a truth rarely acknowledged that as we live longer thanks to modern medicine, it is our years of old age that are extended, not our years of youth and vigour. What are we doing to ourselves?
    Highlighted by 366 Kindle readers
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"With sometimes unsettling detail, admirable empathy and a sprinkling of humor, Dr. Mannix imparts valuable lessons for anyone who faces the loss of a family member or a personal reckoning with impending demise."―The Wall Street Journal

"With the End in Mind is one of the loveliest books I've ever read. It's part memoir and part self-help manual, part practical advice and part professional credo. Mannix's compassion is bottomless and her scrupulousness unimpeachable."―Bookforum

About the Author

Dr. Kathryn Mannix is a physician specializing in palliative care, and a cognitive behavior therapist (CBT). She has run palliative care services in community, hospice, and large hospital settings. She is passionate about public education, and has provided CBT skills training to palliative care and oncology professionals.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown Spark; Reprint edition (December 18, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316504475
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316504478
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.45 x 1.3 x 8.2 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 4,619 ratings

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Kathryn Mannix

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
4,619 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential reading for everyone
Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2018
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This book is an absolute essential reading for everyone. No one is immune from death, not only our own but our family and friends. This book tells in a concise way of the pattern to the way life ends. Each chapter relates to an individual patient of Kathryn's as she writes of their and their family's story in a way which is compassionate and easy to understand, sad but not depressing. I received this book two weeks before my husband was very unexpectedly taken ill and I finished it three days before he went into the hospital ICU. He was there for a week before I asked that he be taken to the Hospice as there was nothing they could do to save his life, only to make him as comfortable as possible. Prior to reading Kathryn's book I would not have thought to ask for Hospice care nor would I have had the understanding of the dying process. It made that few days so much easier to cope with and for our family to share his journey with him in a gentle and peaceful way to the end, making life without him in the past four weeks much more bearable than I though would be possible.
40 people found this helpful
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Jennifer Klassen
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024
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I originally listened to this in audio form. She is such a beautiful kind hearted person and a consultant I would’ve loved to work alongside in my career. I appreciate her stories and learned from them.
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Keith Wissman
5.0 out of 5 stars If this book doesn't rip your guts out in a number of places you have no soul and heart
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2018
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One of the great mysteries of life to me is why people, particularly people that care for each other and love each other, find it so difficult to talk about a subject that all will experience, along with paying taxes.

Amongst all the case studies that are used I recognized myself and each member of my family along with our functions and dis-functions. In general, one coping mechanism widely used in the family was that if we don't talk about "it", "it" doesn't exist or never happened. Until "it" does and then we stoically plow through the experience and almost never talk about "it" again. I had my first first-hand experience with death when my live in great grandmother died at home when I was 8 years old. That experience and the months afterward informed and shaped things for me for years to come.

This book is an excellent way to give yourself and the ones you love a chance to deal with the subject of our deaths and our journey in the process of dying. I encourage you to use it as a discussion tool. Maybe even a small group study if you are courageous enough. I will be sharing this book with a older teen medical school aspirant who needs to better understand the "soft science" of medicine and not just the "hard science".

Having spent a significant amount of time in the UK on business as well as vacation I enjoyed all the "UKisms" sprinkled throughout.

I strongly recommend it without hesitation or qualification.
39 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars An interesting background to terminal illness
Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2018
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I was very interested in the various ways in which the author approached and dealt with terminally ill patients and their families. However I thought there was ar least one case where assisted dying should have been offered as an option and I wondered whether there had been any "cherry picking" of cases to support her point of view.
11 people found this helpful
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knd
5.0 out of 5 stars Radiates Caring and Compassion
Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2023
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As someone with a terminal illness, I was naturally drawn to this volume. Dr. Mannix's sincere loving care and compassion radiate from the pages of this beautifully written account of her daily life, professional training, clinical practice and most of all, fragile patients. I wish more physicians had the wisdom, patience, and courage displayed by Dr. Mannix in her dealings with those at the end of their journey.
6 people found this helpful
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Nancy JC
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for those wanting clarity on the dying process
Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2021
Verified Purchase
It was a fast read because she gave lots of real life stories to illustrate her points. When we become Informed about the natural progression of leaving the earth, it’s not so crazy or foreign but rather the natural rhythm of life. I definitely recommend it.
8 people found this helpful
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Karen
5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful Read
Reviewed in the United States on May 29, 2022
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This book reads like a chat with a good friend, if your friend was a doctor who was telling you stories of treating her favorite patients over the years,all of whom died. On the way to dying, they taught her lessons she’s sharing with you; and they’re worth learning. I cried several times while I read this book, but they were tears of gratitude for how beautifully this book is written and what it helped me realize.
11 people found this helpful
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Book Enthusiast
3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed
Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2020
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Would not have purchased if I had realized it is an English author and the English medical system. Not particularly germane to this country.
6 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Carine WF
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, kind, informative, gives you pieace of mind
Reviewed in Canada on January 13, 2024
Verified Purchase
I am a retired physician and I will be dying from metastatic cancer; I don't know when, I have not asked. When the news came a year ago out of the blue, my medical friends recommended this book to me and my family as their Peter (not medical) died peacefully of rapidly advancing cancer after a short remission. It took me a year to start reading it, what a relief. I wish I had read this book when it was published, I would have helped some patients and their families better. I hope my close family will agree to read this book, unfortunately it is only in English which prevents some other part of my family from its benefits. Please read this book, whoever you are. Dr Mannix makes a parrallel with preparation for pregnancy, labour and delivery, who does not make some preparation for the arrival of a new baby? Yet, very few people make an informed preparation for their death and its aftermath. Thank you Dr. Mannix
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JJBC
2.0 out of 5 stars Repetitivo y tedioso
Reviewed in Mexico on August 27, 2022
Verified Purchase
No es más que una colección de historias diversas sobre un montón de gente que vivió sus últimos días. Si bien se aprende uno que otro concepto sobre cómo es el proceso de muerte en personas con cuidados paliativos, en los que se puede aplicar uno que otro consejo, parece más un libro de “mini cuentos”.

En las primeros capítulos se extrae lo práctico. De ahí aburre, pues las historias son repetitivas, con un inglés bastante rebuscado y se vuelve tedioso, pues ya no hay aprendizajes prácticos, pero sí un exceso de conversaciones transcritas que sirven para entretener a unos cuantos.

Esperaba mucho más.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone needs to read this book
Reviewed in Sweden on August 8, 2023
Verified Purchase
We don’t talk about death anymore, even though it happens to everyone, sooner or later. This book gently guides the reader through various scenarios in the form of stories about patients with various challenges facing the end of their lives. A must read for everyone in healthcare and in community services, but also for the rest of us westerners, who think medical science has outmoded death. It has not!
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Michael Rich
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful, necessary and moving.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 2, 2023
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A quite remarkable book that took me a long time to read - mainly because I had to put it down often to digest it. It is written with clarity and humanity and probably should be read by everyone. I read it with a combination of smile on my face and tears running down my cheeks. It is uplifting and sad - but is essential. Modern society does not talk about death enough. We try to hide from the inevitable rather than understand it. This book helps shine a light on what comes to us all. On a personal note, it has helped me put to bed something that has been plaguing me for quarter of a century. I was there in the hospice when my mother died. I thought - for 25 years - that she had been struggling and fighting for breath at the end. It has haunted me. I now know that is not the case and for that alone I will be eternally grateful to the author. A wonderful, necessary and moving book.
13 people found this helpful
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Anonymous
5.0 out of 5 stars Entrega e produto nota 10
Reviewed in Brazil on June 30, 2020
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Entrega e produto nota 10
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