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The Effort Myth: How to Give Your Child the Three Gifts of Motivation Paperback – November 17, 2021

by Sherri W. Fisher (Author)
5.0 5.0 out of 5 stars 18 ratings
See all formats and editions
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Are you a well-meaning parent who tries to motivate your child by reassuring them that they just need to try harder?

Do you believe that gritty effort is the key to their success?

If so, you may believe in the false promises of the effort myth. Students often do try harder, and some make short-term improvements. However, focusing on effort may even make a student’s problems worse.

No one should have to suffer to be able to learn.

Of course, effort is necessary for work to be done successfully. However, trying harder is not sufficient by itself. That’s because it’s not how hard you try that leads to success; it’s how you try hard.

Written by a learning specialist with decades of experience teaching and coaching thousands of students and parents like you, The Effort Myth will guide you to:

• Participate more effectively in the education of your children
• Know when you need to step in and when you need to let your children figure it out themselves
• Help in ways that will enable your children to grow in ability and Independence

Previous page
  1. Print length
    274 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    November 17, 2021
  4. Dimensions
    6 x 0.62 x 9 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    1732136815
  6. ISBN-13
    978-1732136816
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"With clarity, empathy, and humor, The Effort Myth takes complex, murky spaces in parenting a struggling adolescent and makes them clear, actionable, and relatable. As an experienced clinician in this field, I find this book is spot-on from a developmental and family systems perspective. As a parent, it really speaks to my heart." -Lauren A. Killeen, Ph.D., Pediatric Neuropsychologist, Founder/Director, Social Emotional Educational & Developmental Services (SEEDS)

"What can you do when your child has lost motivation? The Effort Myth is the guided journey that you need to get and stay on track. Sherri Fisher's practical approach is both easy to understand and implement for parents trying to do what is best for their child to thrive beyond schoolwork to lifetime learning. Through humorous and poignant stories, Fisher's practical parenting and learning strategies help you to see your struggling child and yourself in liberating, positive, and constructive ways. I will find myself revisiting this work to provide support academically and socially while we, as parents, create a foundation for our lifelong learners." -Ari Abramson, Vice-President, Acquisitions, Continental Realty Corporation, Former student, current (parent) client, and lifelong learner

"The Effort Myth is Sherri Fisher's best book yet. Sherri shows us that education is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor and that each child can learn how to learn. I wish that The Effort Myth was available when I was growing up and later when raising my own children. I highly recommend this for parents, teachers, and adults who themselves were challenged learners. Using well-founded research and years of experience as a coach and educator, Sherri's approach is personal, engaging, and accessible. I even walked away with some powerful learning about myself!" -Sandy Lewis, PCC, President, Positive Shift Coaching


"The world of education and learning seems a lot more complicated than it was when today's parents were students. In this book, Sherri Fisher busts the "effort myth" - that admonishing kids to "just try harder" is the answer when they are struggling in school. If that sounds like your child, you want Fisher on your team. This book is the next best thing." -Jenny Lisk, Author of Future Widow and host of The Widowed Parent Podcast

"The Effort Myth is chock full of great student-empowerment tools for parents and educators alike! I'm even going to encourage my own two college-age children to read it. The useful tips and insights can help them strengthen their own learning journeys!" -Kathy Snyder, Retired High School Teacher, and Coordinator of the Midland Area Wellbeing Coalition

"The Effort Myth is like finding a best friend to help you through the troubled waters and challenges of parenting kids who struggle in school. It's full of helpful insights and wisdom told in story form. If I had but one wish for all my fellow parents and friends it would be to share this book. Sherri Fisher is a gift to us all." -Kevin Rea, Founder, Rea Company Homes, Builder of The Year, Custom Builder Magazine

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Positive Edge Press (November 17, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 274 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1732136815
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1732136816
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.9 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.62 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    5.0 5.0 out of 5 stars 18 ratings

About the authors

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Previous page
  1. Sherri W. Fisher

    Sherri W. Fisher

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Sherri Fisher is an author, coach, consultant, and speaker who has dedicated decades to challenging the Effort Myth, both in education settings and private practice. Sherri has learned that it is not how hard someone tries that leads to their success; it's how they try hard that matters most.

    As a learning specialist and executive coach for students and their parents, Sherri individualizes research-based tools that build skilled resilience, motivation, and self-direction. These are the foundations of true success. As a schools consultant, Sherri has guided educators and administrators to nurture the flexibility, strengths, and relationships that help improve academic and life outcomes.

    Sherri is the Director of Learn & Flourish, an education coaching and consulting firm with clients on five continents. She earned her Master’s degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania where she studied with the founders of the field and discovered life-long friends and colleagues.

    To learn more about Sherri, visit https://sherrifisher.com/

    Learn & Flourish: https://www.learnandflourish.com/

    See more on the author's page
  2. Sherri W. Fisher

    Sherri W. Fisher

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Sherri Fisher, Director of Learn & Flourish, is an executive coach and learning specialist with a mission to uncover the gifts of greater motivation and focus that can improve competence, choices, and self-direction. Sherri has coached thousands of student, young adult and professional clients to uncover and unleash previously hidden strengths. Using what she learned, she also now coaches leaders in the art of managing younger generations in the workplace.

    Sherri's coaching and consulting model includes appreciating you in every context of your life: family, school, community, and work. Together you'll explore and uncover possibilities for your present challenges and future opportunities. Sherri will create a completely individualized success approach to help you develop deeper self-knowledge, more consistent habits, and positively fueled emotional changes. You'll fuse research-based best practices with emotional well-being tools in the areas you choose.

    In her books and private practice Sherri teaches not just what to learn but HOW you learn, creating positive and practical strategies that uniquely fit you.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

5 out of 5 stars
5 out of 5
18 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Paul A DiMilla
5.0 out of 5 stars A "Must-Have" Book for Parents and Educators!
Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2022
Verified Purchase
I remember overhearing my parents and teacher talking about me and the phrase “not living up to her potential came up”. My parents later told me that I had to work harder in school. This wasn’t helpful advice and didn’t give me the confidence I needed to succeed.

Lots of parents tell their children to try harder because they believe that’s what leads to success in school and life. They do it out of love, but it backfires. In The Effort Myth Sherri Fisher teaches us that performance isn’t about trying harder but about how hard you try.

This book is a tool kit that offers parents and educators lots of actionable strategies to help their children and students overcome challenges. I love Fisher’s voice and the book is super easy to read and practical. I highly recommend it.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars "Children shouldn't have to suffer to learn."
Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2021
Verified Purchase
I received an advance pre-release copy of The Effort Myth. By the time I had made it through the preface and introduction, I was already making a mental list of parents and teachers to whom I was going to recommend this book. Ms. Fisher clearly, succinctly, and compassionately lays out the problem with simply telling children to "try harder" when faced with learning challenges. Her decades of real-life experience give her the understanding and "metal" to help parents gain genuine insights into their own mindsets and expectations which exacerbate their children's learning problems, and to equip them with concrete tools and strategies for positive change. She also holds high a lamp of hope - in the form of "gifts" that parents can give their children. These gifts can increase confidence, inspire better choices, and help children begin carving a path to a better future.
One person found this helpful
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Kim Wimmer
5.0 out of 5 stars This book changes everything!
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2021
Verified Purchase
I was able to read an advance copy of this wonderful book from the publisher. Wow! It’s a game-changer for parents, teachers, and kids alike!

This book completely altered my perception of how we learn and how we can best empower kids to learn and acquire the skills & strategies to be successful—it absolutely blew my mind.
If only I’d have known about this years ago! It would have completely changed my approach to teaching!
I am recommending it to every parent and teacher I know!
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Peter Skepasts
5.0 out of 5 stars A "Must Read" for Parents and Teachers
Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2023
In Canada, people are required to have a car seat in order to take their newborn home from the hospital. I believe parents should also be required to show proof of reading Sherri Fisher's book The Effort Myth (I am compiling a list of books that would fall under this category).

Sherri's book is filled with wise, practical, and meaningful tips, perspectives, and strategies for motivating children when it comes to learning. It is obvious she has spent several decades working with students with varying levels of abilities in a variety of settings not to mention it is clear that she cares about each individual she supports. Her writing is not only easy to follow, but she interjects humor and humility in a way that will leave you feeling inspired to try different approaches—rather than intimidated that you are not doing enough. Moreover, her strategies for success can be applied to adults—I definitely feel like I have a few new tools in my own toolkit for success that go beyond parenting. I encourage you to pass this along to your friend groups, book clubs, colleagues, and anyone else you can think of.
Helpful
 Report
E. E. Lahti
5.0 out of 5 stars Hope and help for doing the most important job on the planet
Reviewed in the United States on January 26, 2023
A warm thank you for this much-needed and powerful inquiry into the tools that parents need to guide their teenage children through the formidable journey of school years.
A task that can easily overwhelm even the “best” parent - especially when one faces unexpected and lasting headwinds along the journey.

On top of that many (if not most of us) are deeply conditioned by the parenting styles of our own parents that either worked - or didn’t. Parenting in tough times requires learning to be both gentle and tough and express these qualities in the right amount and at the right place.

The Effort Myth was described
by another reviewer as “a welcome companion for the lonely or frustrated parent” and my heart agrees. Thank you, Sherri for the dedicated work you put into this.
Helpful
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Margaret H. Greenberg
5.0 out of 5 stars How to Move a Giraffe and Other Learning Strategies
Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2021
If only my student or my child would try harder. That is the lament of teachers and parents around the world. What if the solution to improved school (and life) performance wasn’t about trying harder but about how hard you try? That’s the paradigm shift author Sherri Fisher, expertly lays out in The Effort Myth.

I had the honor of reading a pre-lease copy of The Effort Myth. Fisher distills her decades of experience as an educator, learning specialist, applied positive psychology practitioner, coach AND parent into actionable strategies and tools to help your child or student overcome challenges. While the focus is on school performance, the same strategies can be applied to challenges outside the classroom. The result? More independent and resilient life-long learners AND less frustrated parents and teachers.

What’s different about The Effort Myth compared to other books of this genre is the author’s voice. Fisher is both relatable and non-judgmental. The stories she tells of her own parenting struggles made me reflect on my own. Fisher’s story of her two-year-old daughter hiding under a clothes rack in a store while she frantically searched for her was just one of many stories that I so identified with as a parent.

My favorite part? The author’s “Inklings” that appear at the end of each chapter where she shares a real-life story with humility and humor.

One last thought? Learning and development professionals will find the three gifts of this approach - competence, choice and self-direction – can be applied to adult learners, too.

Margaret H. Greenberg, MAPP, PCC and co-author of The Business of Race: How to Create and Sustain an Antiracist Workplace AND Why It’s Actually Good For Business (McGraw-Hill, 2021) and Profit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and Transform Your Business (McGraw-Hill, 2013).
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Top reviews from other countries

Peter Skepasts
5.0 out of 5 stars A "Must Read" for Every Parent and Teacher
Reviewed in Canada on January 28, 2023
Verified Purchase
In Canada, people are required to have a car seat in order to take their newborn home from the hospital. I believe parents should also be required to show proof of reading Sherri Fisher's book The Effort Myth (I am compiling a list of books that would fall under this category).

Sherri's book is filled with wise, practical, and meaningful tips, perspectives, and strategies for motivating children when it comes to learning. It is obvious she has spent several decades working with students with varying levels of abilities in a variety of settings not to mention it is clear that she cares about each individual she supports. Her writing is not only easy to follow, but she interjects humor and humility in a way that will leave you feeling inspired to try different approaches—rather than intimidated that you are not doing enough. Moreover, her strategies for success can be applied to adults—I definitely feel like I have a few new tools in my own toolkit for success that go beyond parenting. I encourage you to pass this along to your friend groups, book clubs, colleagues, and anyone else you can think of.
Report