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Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect Paperback – October 7, 2014

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We are profoundly social creatures--more than we know. 

In
Social, renowned psychologist Matthew Lieberman explores groundbreaking research in social neuroscience revealing that our need to connect with other people is even more fundamental, more basic, than our need for food or shelter. Because of this, our brain uses its spare time to learn about the social world--other people and our relation to them. It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill. According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten.
 
Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior. We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions. Yet, new research using fMRI--including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab--shows that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure. Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world. We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another. And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives. This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good. These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species.
 
Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in
Social have important real-world implications. Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimalize social distractions. But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped. The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“We are an intensely social species.  Everyone knows that.  But, from that basic truth, Matthew Lieberman mines a mother lode of insights that are both unexpected and genuinely worth using to better our lives.” -Robert B. Cialdini, author of Influence


"Absolutely fascinating — necessary, even."
-Brain Pickings

“Compelling evidence is emerging that shows that, more than money or other extrinsic incentives, the human brain gets a hefty reward by forging connections with others. That evidence, much of it uncovered by Lieberman, a pioneer of social cognitive neuroscience, is presented in a collegial manner in this often-surprising account… With the details from study after study, many of them based on imaging scans that examine activity in certain parts of the brain, Lieberman’s book is perfect for Malcolm Gladwell fans who want to delve much deeper into the biology behind our social abilities. The investigations reveal the impressive social abilities we hold, often unappreciated but noticeable when lacking in others, and so ingrained they may influence our very sense of self.”
–Booklist


“Social reveals that our brains are made for connecting, not only for thinking. Matt Lieberman, a pioneering expert in social neuroscience, explains why fairness tastes like chocolate, why heartache can hurt more than a headache, and how we can use this knowledge to improve our lives at home, school, and work.” -Adam Grant, Wharton professor and bestselling author of Give and Take

"
Social is the book I've been waiting for: a brilliant and beautiful exploration of how and why we are wired together, by one of the field's most prescient pioneers." -Daniel Gilbert, professor, Harvard University, bestselling author of Stumbling On Happiness

“Social is as full of surprising twists and insights as a Dan Brown novel (and as fun to read, too).  Social unmasks the secret to our success as a species - our fundamentally social nature - and explains the origins, brain bases, and everyday applicability of our social superpowers.”  -Kevin Ochsner, professor, Columbia University
 
"One of the most compelling and engaging books about how human beings really work that I've ever read. It literally changed how I see the world."
-David Rock, director, NeuroLeadership Institute, author of Your Brain at Work
 
“At last, a book that really does put the social into social neuroscience, and, more importantly, does it in a way that layman and scientist alike can read with pleasure.”
-Robin Dunbar, Professor, University of Oxford
 
"Vivid stories and cutting-edge neuroscience come together to explain just how connected we really are.  Lieberman's prose is fluid, and his ideas fascinating, making Social a must-read pleasure for anyone who cares about the  human condition and the science that reveals us as social beings." – Susan Fiske, Professor, Princeton University

“This fascinating, beautifully written book brings the exciting research on our social nature and the brain to life”
– Shelley Taylor, distinguished professor, UCLA, author of The Tending Instinct

"Humans are exquisitely social. This is a beautifully written and compelling account of how and why this is the case, written by one of the world’s leading authorities on the social brain. Matthew Lieberman covers multiple areas of cutting edge research, including studies of primate social groups, the psychology of human love and friendship, and the brain basis of empathy and altruism. This captivating book will enthrall a very wide audience, from the general reader who has no previous knowledge of the brain to students and academics in the field of cognitive neuroscience and social psychology."
- Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, Professor, University College of London

"A highly engaging read from one of the pioneers of the emerging field of social cognitive neuroscience. By reviewing what has recently been discovered about unique human talents, such as self-control, mindreading, empathy, Lieberman presents a compelling case that the human brain is wired to be social.  Highly recommended for its accessible introduction to social neuroscience as well as its practical lessons for living more satisfying lives."
-Todd Heatherton, Lincoln Filene Professor, Dartmouth College
 
"In this engaging book, Mathew Lieberman, one of the leaders and pioneers in social neuroscience, shows how and why our brains are wired to connect, how that influences what we think, feel, and do, and makes it clear why it matters." -
Walter Mischel, Niven Professor of Humane Letters in Psychology, Columbia University
 
"The scientific field that became cognitive neuroscience began in the 19th century, strangely enough, with discoveries on the human brain's language processing.  Not long after, however, the isolated case of Phineas Gage tumbled onto the scene and announced, more than a century in advance, what would become social neuroscience.  In “Social”, Matthew Lieberman, one of the leaders of this now-established effort, provides a thoughtful and lively review of recent findings and of the implications for this important area of inquiry." 
-Antonio Damasio, USC professor and author of Descartes’ Error and Self Comes to Mind
 

About the Author

Matthew D. Liebermanwas trained at Harvard University and is a professor in the Departments of Psychology, Psychiatry, and Biobehavioral Sciences at the University of California, Los Angeles, and the founding editor of the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.  In 2007, the American Psychological Association awarded him the Distinguished Scientific Award for an Early Career Contribution to Psychology, an award given to one social psychologist every two years.  He is one of the foremost authorities in the world on the study of Social Neuroscience.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0307889106
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown (October 7, 2014)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 384 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780307889102
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0307889102
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.15 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 713 ratings

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4.5 out of 5 stars
713 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book easy to read and compelling. They appreciate the author's writing style and insights into social cognitive neuroscience. The book provides valuable lessons about connectivity, which is essential for humans from a young age.

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66 customers mention "Readability"58 positive8 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and compelling. They appreciate the author's clear explanations of complex concepts in a digestible narrative.

"A very compelling book on the physical goings on within our minds during our most average everyday lives...." Read more

"...This is one of the best books I've read, and feel the implications discussed in this book are some of the most important we need to be aware of in..." Read more

"...research on humanity's need for social connections and explains, clearly and in a manner accessible to laypersons, how our human brains are built to..." Read more

"...It was a really easy read, and many of the claims/statements were super obvious...." Read more

59 customers mention "Insight"57 positive2 negative

Customers find the book informative and interesting. They say it's written in a way that makes it interesting to professionals while being accessible to a wider audience. The studies presented are interesting, and the book provides a readable summary of neuroscience developments to date.

"...It also gives a comprehensive understanding as to how our society has evolved into the social dependency it is today...." Read more

"A lot of interesting about our social brains, I’m recommending to everyone I know" Read more

"...There are many factoids regarding communication and people management that I will remember the rest of my life...." Read more

"...There was just so much good information in this book that I see myself rereading it over the years to fully internalize and understand what to do..." Read more

4 customers mention "Connectivity"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's message about connectivity. They say it's important to connect with others and that we are wired for this from a young age.

"...will make the reader (at least it made this reader) appreciate the necessity of human connection." Read more

"...He proves that we, from a very young age, are wired to connect to others and makes a convincing argument how the social cortex of the brain is the..." Read more

"...narrative, that we are both psychologically and physically dependent on social connection, even as we counter-intuitively pursue the wholly..." Read more

"Connecting to others is essential...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2015
    A very compelling book on the physical goings on within our minds during our most average everyday lives. Dr Lieberman is a psychologist who has dedicated his life to understanding the functionality of the brain and why it responses the way it does. This book breaks down how nature has adapted our evolution as a social society and why. This gives a great insight to what portions of the brain react to certain situations and why. It also gives a comprehensive understanding as to how our society has evolved into the social dependency it is today. Dr Lieberman is not shy about sharing his own possibility embarrassing experiences in order to further his point on our social dependencies. For that..... I give five stars. Although I probably would have done so anyway because his research is fascinating on its own. 😃
    7 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2024
    A lot of interesting about our social brains, I’m recommending to everyone I know
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2014
    A very interesting and insightful work by Dr. Lieberman. You can tell he has put his life's work into uncovering these universal truths regarding humans and social behavior. There are many factoids regarding communication and people management that I will remember the rest of my life. However, the book reads incredibly dry. The bulk of it can sound like you are reading through a university thesis, which makes sense given the author's credentials and primary field of study. His attempt at making the data heavy experiments digestible is to sandwich the base material between an intro and conclusion in layman's prose. Unfortunately, sections sometimes read as: Intro, A+B=C, A+B≠D, Conclusion. While the non data oriented parts read well, I wish he could have injected that tone throughout the book without sacrificing information. With all that being said, if you are interested in understanding more about the human condition, I absolutely recommend this book. Great insight for managers or those working with large teams.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2018
    So my background is in therapy, and am always looking for books to enhance my understanding of human nature. This is one of the best books I've read, and feel the implications discussed in this book are some of the most important we need to be aware of in appreciating who we are. The author made a persuasive case with this book that our social connections really make or break us. There was just so much good information in this book that I see myself rereading it over the years to fully internalize and understand what to do with this important information.
    7 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2013
    This is another strong offering under the general category of evolutionary psychology. However, what makes this book different -- and shocking -- is the conclusion drawn toward the end. We are fundamentally mistaken about "who we are" because our evolved brain regularly tricks us into thinking we are taking certain actions or thinking certain thoughts on behalf of ourselves when, really, these actions & thoughts are on behalf of our social group. For some reason I was reminded of the '70's move, Soylent Green, where at the climax Charlton Heston raises a bloodied hand and shouts: "Soylent Green is People!" Well, Matthew Lieberman, as an academic, understandably shies away from using bloody hands, agonized cries, or even exclamation points, but you could easily imagine the unstated climax of his book as being: "The Self is People!"

    Now that we have this fundamentally new understanding of the Self, how do we live with it? Lieberman address this but, to me, it feels more like a piece of candy and a pat on the back after a visit to the doctor. What might be a better follow up is a book that would be something similar to The Robot's Rebellion, Stanovich's take on the implications of The Selfish Gene....or maybe even something like Camus' Myth of Sisyphus, but rooted in this brave new world of the "Self."
    8 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2013
    When I got to the passage explaining how Tylenol works as effectively on emotional pain as it does physical pain, I actually said "Wow" out loud. There are many such "wow" out loud passages in this book. Lieberman (and his colleagues, all of whom he generously mentions) has conducted quietly revolutionary research on humanity's need for social connections and explains, clearly and in a manner accessible to laypersons, how our human brains are built to crave emotional bonds with others and how that craving has helped us evolve. His research is impressive, his writing is engaging, his findings are illuminating, and the subject is fascinating. This is an important book which will make the reader (at least it made this reader) appreciate the necessity of human connection.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2018
    Super boring in the beginning. I put the book down multiple times and have regrettably not picked it back up since. I want to get into the information within the book but find it tiresome to sift through the evolutionist theory related to the main points.

    One day when I have more time or am so bored, maybe I'll make it through to the good content. FYI, I read little of the book and am writing this a while after. Maybe I'm wrong and just didn't read enough into the book.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2022
    Is it pure survival - or something far deeper? These are the types of questions asked and explored in this book on the need for human social interaction. Distinguishing humans from other mammals, Lieberman brings science to bear on why our social interactions are so critical, and what the implications are for the future of electronic connection and the era of “bowling alone”. An interesting if somewhat difficult read.
    2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Theo
    5.0 out of 5 stars Ignore 1 star reviews. This is a masterpiece
    Reviewed in Germany on May 4, 2021
    Ignore 1 star reviews. This is a masterpiece
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good book
    Reviewed in India on November 13, 2020
    Good book. Teaches a lot about human interaction and how our ability to socialize and communicate has taken us forward in life as a species. While the book is to a large extent technical in its approach, I think if you have the patience and the openness to learn, there is great value in this book.
  • Josué
    5.0 out of 5 stars Livro perfeito! condição entregue, a melhorar.
    Reviewed in Brazil on September 21, 2018
    O produto é de excelente qualidade, tendo em vista o material do papel ser super confortável, não obstante ser imprescindível exímio cuidado no manuseio, a textura é finíssima e delicada, muito agradável, parecendo ser feita de seda. Eu Gostei bastante do material do livro. Excelente.
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    Josué
    5.0 out of 5 stars Livro perfeito! condição entregue, a melhorar.
    Reviewed in Brazil on September 21, 2018
    O produto é de excelente qualidade, tendo em vista o material do papel ser super confortável, não obstante ser imprescindível exímio cuidado no manuseio, a textura é finíssima e delicada, muito agradável, parecendo ser feita de seda. Eu Gostei bastante do material do livro. Excelente.
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  • Cliente de Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente lectura
    Reviewed in Mexico on May 9, 2018
    Excelente libro que nos ofrece un amplio conocimiento de la psicologia social, con información fundamentada y ejemplos aplicados a situaciones de la vida real, tiene algo de tecnisísmo pero al ser repetitivo nos vamos familiarizando con los términos de acuerdo a como se va avanzando en la lectura.
    La aplicación de este conocimiento en nuestra sociedad y a nivel personal puede traer grandes beneficios para mejorar nuestras relaciones personales y nuesta conexión con el entorno social.
  • Thierry Landrieu
    5.0 out of 5 stars L'homme animal social ou part de société ?
    Reviewed in France on March 5, 2018
    Le livre est à la hauteur de ses promesses . Facile à lire , l'auteur n'hésite pas à revenir sur ses explications à travers de brèves synthèses . Interessant si vous vous intéressez aux théories de l'esprit .... et au fait qu'on est beaucoup moins égoïstes qu'on se plait à se l'imaginer .
    Va bien en complément de "sapiens " .