This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt. You may receive a partial or no refund on used, damaged or materially different returns.

Read full return policy

Payment

Secure transaction

Payment

Secure transaction

We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more

Details

Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime

FREE delivery Saturday, May 4 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35

Or fastest delivery Thursday, May 2. Order within 16 hrs 18 mins

Select delivery location

Used: Acceptable | Details

Sold by -OnTimeBooks-

Fulfilled by Amazon

Access codes and supplements are not guaranteed with used items.

Other sellers on Amazon

New & Used (27) from $9.52 & FREE Shipping

Follow the author

Mishka Shubaly

Follow

I Swear I'll Make It Up to You: A Life on the Low Road Hardcover – March 8, 2016

by Mishka Shubaly (Author)

4.6 440 ratings

Editors' pick Best Biographies & Memoirs

See all formats and editions

{"desktop_buybox_group_1":[{"displayPrice":"$19.01","priceAmount":19.01,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"19","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"01","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"1nH%2F5R9M28m8t73kONkpK8jf9rfmQ4KAp%2FVIvuFm2sP2Nf21Uou6fC4QLteV2GjD8h755RQWE%2Fn8Zlhr7sfDoVrY%2BtoUJH9%2BhEK%2Fey%2BQcLgV3uZUgGgJ74ma1IRG3SDGHmVkCJXI6Hj4RTHpJz91fxLBTIjAnDAfFF%2BLZh4dIUfpXLI7UVFKhg%3D%3D","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"NEW","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":0}, {"displayPrice":"$9.53","priceAmount":9.53,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"9","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"53","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"1nH%2F5R9M28m8t73kONkpK8jf9rfmQ4KAUWIAsfjUrdjINRtz%2FcL5Ih7lnAkDyTrbs2nEtpQ9B2VkDrdHZl%2B46LABKRQ2f51TMztKWJ506eDmi8wKs5cl%2FDDMMINeU8Ly4jizNCJk1fxU%2BBCTZTgh9hGUNauxgiYql8BiNPEFGPpr6pPAALCs4YWgiDdQoIGX","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"USED","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":1}]}

Purchase options and add-ons

An odyssey of family, heartbreak, violence, punk rock, brokenness, broke-ness, sex, love, loss, drinking, drinking, drinking, and an unlikely savior: distance running.

A misfit kid at the best of times, Mishka Shubaly had his world shattered when, in a twenty-four-hour span in 1992, he survived a mass shooting on his school's campus, then learned that his parents were getting divorced. His father, a prominent rocket scientist, abandoned the family and their home was lost to foreclosure. Shubaly swore to avenge the wrongs against his mother, but instead plunged into a magnificently toxic love affair with alcohol.

Almost two decades later, Shubaly's life changed again when a fateful five-mile run after a bar fight inspired him to clean up his life. And when he finally reconnected with his estranged father, he discovered the story of his childhood was radically different from what he thought he knew.

In this fiercely honest, emotional, and self-laceratingly witty book, Shubaly relives his mistakes, misfortunes, and infrequent good decisions: the disastrous events that fractured his life; his incendiary romances; his hot-and-cold career as a rock musician; meeting his newborn nephew while out of his gourd on cough syrup. I Swear I'll Make It Up to You is an apology for choices Shubaly never thought he'd live long enough to regret, a journey so far down the low road that it took him years of running to claw his way back.

Print length

352 pages
Language

English
Publisher

PublicAffairs
Publication date

March 8, 2016
Dimensions

6.5 x 1.25 x 9.5 inches
ISBN-10

1610395581
ISBN-13

978-1610395588
See all details

Frequently bought together

I Swear I'll Make It Up to You: A Life on the Low Road

$19.01

Get it May 7 - 14

In stock

Usually ships within 3 to 4 days.

Ships from and sold by indoobestsellers.

+

$14.19

Get it as soon as Saturday, May 4

In Stock

Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.

Total price:

To see our price, add these items to your cart.

Try again!

Details

Added to Cart

One of these items ships sooner than the other.

Show details Hide details

Choose items to buy together.

Mishka Shubaly
33
Paperback
3 offers from $13.59
Sean Alexander
1,751
Paperback
19 offers from $9.35

Editorial Reviews

Review

In this memoir of darkness and redemption, singer/songwriter [Mishka] Shubaly describes his virulent romance with alcohol and his struggle to escape the toxic embrace by way of long-distance running.” Publishers Weekly

I Swear I'll Make It Up To You is a mercilessly honest trip to the very center of alcoholic despondency, followed by a perfectly messy, self-deprecating squirm toward the light. An elegant and eminently human account of what it means to struggle, despair, dream and ultimately find meaning in an uncomfortable world. This is the memoir I wish I could write. Wish I had written. And for that I will always resent this author I call a friend.” Rich Roll, bestselling author of Finding Ultra

If Mishka Shubaly can trade in his pills and booze for a pair of Nikes, there's hope for every addict and drunk out there. This book is rehab for the soul.” Cat Marnell

We all have heroes. I would never want to imagine Tom Waits going to therapy or Bukowski running a 10k. In my heart, Mishka Shubaly will always be spilled over the bar next to me and playing on the jukebox of my soul.” Doug Stanhope

About the Author

Mishka Shubaly writes true stories about drink, drugs, disasters, desire, deception, and their aftermath. He began drinking at thirteen and college at fifteen. At twenty-two, he received the Dean's Fellowship from the Master's Writing Program at Columbia University. Upon receiving his expensive MFA, he promptly moved into a Toyota minivan to tour the country nonstop as a singer-songwriter. At thirty-two, he got sober and shortly thereafter began publishing a string of bestselling Kindle Singles through Amazon. His writing has been praised for its grit, humor, fearlessness, and heart. He lives in Brooklyn, where he is at work on his third solo album.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ PublicAffairs; 1st edition (March 8, 2016)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1610395581
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1610395588
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.33 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.5 x 1.25 x 9.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #527,075 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #750 in Alcoholism Recovery
- #1,523 in Rock Band Biographies
- #16,405 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.6 440 ratings

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.

Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Videos

Help others learn more about this product by uploading a video!

Upload your video

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.

Mishka Shubaly

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.

Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

After receiving an expensive MFA from Columbia University, Mishka Shubaly promptly quit writing to play music. He lived out of a Toyota minivan for a year, touring nonstop, and has shared the stage with artists like The Strokes, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and The Decemberists.

His Kindle Singles for Amazon have all been bestsellers. He writes true stories about drink, drugs, disasters, desire, deception and their aftermath. His work has been praised for its grit, humor, fearlessness and heart. 'The Long Run,' his mini-memoir detailing his transformation from alcoholic drug abuser to sober ultrarunner is one of the best-selling Kindle Singles to date.

In 2015, Mishka released the album "Coward's Path" on Invisible Hands Music, which has been praised by Johnny Depp, among others. His first hardcover memoir, "I Swear I'll Make It Up to You" is due March 8th, 2016 on PublicAffairs.

www.mishkashubaly.com

www.facebook.com/mishka.shubaly.7

"The Kindle Singles bestseller list has anointed new stars like Mishka Shubaly..."

-The New York Times

"The gruff and rough-voiced Shubaly is a chronicler of mankind's darkest impulses and failures, a guy with a ticket to hell and back."

-Time Out New York

"A beaming ray of jet-black sunshine."

-The Village Voice

"Shubaly's writing grabs you by your neck, his thumb fingering the delicate pulse by your throat. He's going to tell you about himself, whether you can stand it or not, and the reason you can't stop reading? It's because he also seems to know a thing or two about your inner life."

-Huffington Post

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

440 global ratings

How customer reviews and ratings work

Reviews with images

See all photos

Sort reviews by

Top reviews from the United States

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

Mike Strong

Do The Incredible Thing !

Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2016

Verified Purchase

I was somewhat familiar with Mishka Shubaly's music from The Doug Stanhope Podcast, and when I heard he was doing a free show with comedian Jt Habersaat, I decided to walk the block and a half to The Dive Bar and check it out. It was a great show, - inspiring really. I wanted to show my support and buy some merch afterwards, but I was broke. I felt like I owed the guy; so on my next pay day I ordered a copy of I Swear I'll Make It Up to You.

With the exception of rereading One Hundred Year of Solitude I haven't been reading much these days. Shubaly references One Hundred Years of Solitude, but he does not write in the style of magical realism. This is face down drunk in the gutter on your way to hell realism, and yet, it is somehow magical. A story of transformation.

Carried along by the stories and tight writing I read chapters 1 though 10 in one sitting, but I had to pull up and stop at Chapter 11, titled: The Darkest Night. One of my pet peeves is the New Age malappropriation of St John's Dark Night of The Soul. The Dark Night is not about spiritual turmoil, or crisis. It is not about confusion or disassociation. The Dark Night is about spiritual sobriety, what the Sufi's refer to as "Aridity". In Zen, it is "Chop Wood - Carry Water". It is a time to slog it out and do the work, - to finish what you started without any help from the divine, ... or the chemical.

I woke up the next day and read The Darkest Night, and the rest of the book. It didn't piss me off. Just the opposite.

I Swear I'll Make It Up to You is good story telling, and profoundly inspirational. I recommend it to anyone that has tried and failed, and tried and failed again.

Helpful

DeAnna Stewart

anger and disappointment, I immediately relived the moments in my addiction ...

Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2016

Verified Purchase

This is not a self-help book. This is not a roadmap to recovery. This isn’t even necessarily a story about addiction. This is the story of a human being’s life told with raw, honest,visceral, highly personal language that has the power to bypass your brain and reach straight through to the deepest, often darkest regions of your soul. This story has the power to hurt, but most importantly it has the power to heal.

I first discovered Mishka Shubaly through his music. After sending him some fan mail, describing how I had been locked up in an isolated jail cell where I had been left alone for 3 days and how singing his songs out loud helped me maintain my sanity, we began to sporadically correspond. While we had discussed my flirtation with the idea of sobriety, it was not until confessing to Mishka that I had attempted to commit suicide in a motel room that he insisted and eventually convinced me to check into rehab. A year later, “I Swear I’ll Make It Up to You” was released.

The first time I read the book, I honestly did not get as much out of it as I had anticipated. As a self-centered, recovering alcoholic, it was my natural inclination to relate to every aspect of the story to my own personal experience. When Mishka is describing pain, anger and disappointment, I immediately relived the moments in my addiction in which I had experienced these emotions. When Mishka is describing his past relationships with women, I immediately went to my personal history with women: “That sounds exactly like my relationship with Sara…”

By the time I finished the book, I was in terrible shape. I had stopped running and doing all of the things that had kept me physically and mentally healthy during my sobriety. I fell into a deep, isolated state of depression after a girl had left me to work at a strip club with absolutely no warning. My biggest fear in the world is waking up one morning and looking in the mirror to see that my old self had fully returned with vengeance and immunity to any elixir or spell I might have been using to keep him at bay. I had to face my fear, I had to do something, anything.

I locked myself in my room and reached for the book. This time I would take myself out of the equation. “Let go of your ego. This is not about you. This is not your story. This is Mishka’s journey, and all you have to do is take your hands off the safety bars and take this ride with him.” I read the entire book, cover to cover, in one sitting. By the time I had finished, many of the pages soaked in tear drops, I felt as if I had taken a punch to the soul in the exact place where it hurts the most. I had collapsed to the ground, only to find a new sense of strength and a burning desire to pull myself to my feet. I hugged my mother. I called a few people to tell them I loved them. I laced up my running shoes and stepped outside into the light.

3 people found this helpful

Helpful

Graham Cooke

A rip roaring journey of loss and redemption.

Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2016

Verified Purchase

Where do I start?? I first encountered the writings of Mr. Shubaly when lazily browsing on the kindle my girlfriend has just bought me. As a trained bookbinder I had resisted the call of the electronic age, but that night I gave in to temptation and browsed the kindle single section. I happened upon "The Long Run" and was instantly hooked. I enjoyed each subsequent story Mishka released and found his work to be works of dark comedy genius. When word of an actual book came out I couldn't wait to get my hands on an electronic copy (it just felt right having read all his other work on that format). So to the book......having enjoyed all of his previous work this one was a labor of love and I don't mean that as a bad reflection on the writing. It's an absolute masterpiece!! But some of the stories about his descent into alcohol and drug abuse dragged up too many memories of my own for me to be comfortable with. However I persevered and by the time I got to the end of the book I felt like I was at the finishing line of one of his races cheering him on. A brilliant and brutally honest account of what the human spirit can endure and keep moving forward. If you want a "warts and all" account of what it's like to lose yourself and make it through to the other side, read this book. If you want to laugh and cry at the same time, read this book!!

Helpful

CMor

Completes the story started on his other books

Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2016

Verified Purchase

I really like how Mishka writes, and this book did not disappoint. If you've read his other books, this is a more complete picture that ties together what he's shared elsewhere. His misperceptions of himself and how he believes others see him was interesting. He's beaten himself up for years for things that may not be as he saw them. Quite a powerful realization that more of us might benefit from considering as well.

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Devon

way less sexist than bukowski but just as dirty

Reviewed in Canada on March 26, 2016

Verified Purchase

Maybe I am biased. The author is someone I probably passed like a ship in the night at a punk show. I struggle with sobriety and health and intergenerational trauma (some of it even from Saskatchewan!) So it hit All my soft spots.
I laughed my face off all through this book (in between wanting to give Mishka a hug and a coffee, because I'm sorry his middle name is Valerian ahahahahaha). I have a really low tolerance for men who write self-aggrandizing memoirs about being dirt bags. The mere mention of Bukowski makes me roll my eyes and tune out whomever's talking. This isn't that. Or if it is, it's way more self-critical and mature. This book is more about toxic masculinities and the things we'll do to keep from being vulnerable/present in our lives. I've recommended it to all my drunk punk friends fighting the bottle. Might make me quit drugs and start running we'll see.

One person found this helpful

Damian PV Carrington

Great book about facing your problems and making a change

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 30, 2016

Verified Purchase

I was a fan of Mishka Shubaly before I read this book, I read a few of his Kindle Singles and listen to his music, so I expected to enjoy I Swear I'll Make It Up To You anyway and I wasn't disappointed.

He talks very frankly and openly about serious issues, more so than I'd have expected, I really felt for him from reading some of it, and it made his trip up from the low road much more satisfying to read

2 people found this helpful

Dae

I enjoyed this book immensely and have become a fan of ...

Reviewed in Canada on December 23, 2017

Verified Purchase

At times it's a tough read. All the drugs, drink, pain of addiction and darkness could be unbearable if not for Mishka's humour. Many times I was laughing out loud. Under the self loathing, nihilistic exterior is well..probably a self loathing nihilist but one with a bit of hope buried in there. Or maybe just spite? In the - I'm going to live and come out of this even when everything points to the fact I shouldn't - type of spite. Either way, I enjoyed this book immensely and have become a fan of his. If this sounds even remotely interesting to anyone reading, I'm confident you will too.

2 people found this helpful

Typonese

Enjoy the ride

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 27, 2016

Verified Purchase

This is a great read. From the moment you pick it up it embraces you with its humour and amusing anecdotes. It also contains some brutally honest musings on life that we've had in dark hours but somehow not been brave enough to deal with them the way Mishka has. This book celebrates life and opens up views on life from different perspectives. Most of all it implores you to enjoy the ride life has to offer.

One person found this helpful

Sask-Cheryl

This book was a very good read.

Reviewed in Canada on April 17, 2017

Verified Purchase

This book was a very good read ... had trouble putting it down. Was sorry to reach the end of it, as I wanted to keep reading. Mishka is a superb writer and his life story is wild and inspiring. He's certainly not shy about sharing all of the gory details.

One person found this helpful

See more reviews

Image Unavailable

Follow the author