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Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life Paperback – February 10, 2015

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,017 ratings

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A leading expert in childhood development makes the case for why self-directed learning — "unschooling" — is the best way to get kids to learn.

"All kids love learning. Most don't love school. That's a disconnect we've avoided discussing—until this lightning bolt of a book. If you've ever wondered why your curious kid is turning into a sullen slug at school, Peter Gray's Free to Learn has the answer. He also has the antidote." —Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids


In
Free to Learn, developmental psychologist Peter Gray argues that in order to foster children who will thrive in today's constantly changing world, we must entrust them to steer their own learning and development. Drawing on evidence from anthropology, psychology, and history, he demonstrates that free play is the primary means by which children learn to control their lives, solve problems, get along with peers, and become emotionally resilient. A brave, counterintuitive proposal for freeing our children from the shackles of the curiosity-killing institution we call school, Free to Learn suggests that it's time to stop asking what's wrong with our children, and start asking what's wrong with the system. It shows how we can act—both as parents and as members of society—to improve children's lives and to promote their happiness and learning.
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From the Publisher

Blurb from Psychology Today for Free to Learn

Blurb from PsychCentral for Free to Learn

Blurb from American Journal of Play for Free to Learn

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Weaving together evidence from psychology, history, and anthropology, [Peter Gray] makes the case that compulsory schooling is not only misguided but deeply damaging, an affront to the playful instincts of childhood."―Psychology Today

In
Free to Learn,a passionate paean to the kind of free play and free learning ... Peter Gray, an evolutionary psychologist at Boston College, makes a largely compelling case that children learn best when unencumbered by adult-imposed activities and institutions."―American Journal of Play

"
Anyone who cares about learning should read Free to Learn. Gray’s book is a compelling and easy read; if everyone would read it with an open mind, a wholesale revolution in education (right through to university) would be the inevitable outcome."
 ―
Dissident Voice

"
Free to Learn makes a good case for the importance of play as a renewable resource for school reform and transformation."―Spirituality & Practice

"We [Life learners] appreciate having someone who is
a developmental psychologist and college professor understand so well-- not to mention respect-- the lives we're living."―Life Learning Magazine

"Peter also shows his overt
support for unschooling as a true bright spot in western culture and details the results of his own survey of unschooling families. Whether you buy this book, borrow it or check it out of the library, this book is as important as any of John Holt's early books."
 ―
Home Education Magazine

“[
Free to Learn is] a powerful agent of transformation. I'd like to put a copy in the hands of every parent, teacher, and policy maker.”
 ―
Mothering.com

“[E]nergetic…
Gray powerfully argues that schools inhibit learning…. [Gray's] vivid illustrations of the ‘power of play' to shape an individual are bound to provoke a renewed conversation about turning the tide in an educational system that fosters conformity and inhibits creative thinking.”
 ―
Publishers Weekly

"
Free to Learn stimulates a parent’s thinking about what kind of learning environment helps their child learn and adjust best, and then how to simulate that environment at home or out of school if it doesn’t exist among their school options...Gray has caused me to re-focus my grand-parenting activities in ways that will encourage freedom of learning and play. We may not be able to change the world, but we can help our children adapt better to it."―PyschCentral

"Peter Gray is
one of the world's experts on the evolution of childhood play, and applies his encyclopedic knowledge of psychology, and his humane voice, to the pressing issue of educational reform. Though I am not sure I agree with all of his recommendations, he forces us all to rethink our convictions on how schools should be designed to accommodate the ways that children learn.”―Steven Pinker, Harvard College Professor of Psychology, Harvard University, and author of How the Mind Works

"
A compelling and most enjoyable read. Gray illustrates how removing play from childhood, in combination with increasing the pressures of modern day schooling, paradoxically reduces the very skills we want our children to learn. The decline of play is serious business.”―Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, author of Einstein Never Used Flash Cards and A Mandate for Playful Learning in Preschool

All kids love learning. Most don't love school. That's a disconnect we've avoided discussing—until this lightning bolt of a book. If you've ever wondered why your curious kid is turning into a sullen slug at school, Peter Gray's Free to Learn has the answer. He also has the antidote.”―Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids

The modern educational system is like a wish made in a folk tale gone horribly wrong. Peter Gray's Free to Learn leads us out of the maze of unforeseen consequences to a more natural way of letting children educate themselves. Gray's message might seem too good to be true, but it rests upon a strong scientific foundation. Free to Learn can have an immediate impact on the children in your life.”―David Sloan Wilson, SUNY Distinguished Professor of Biology and Anthropology, Binghamton University and author of Evolution for Everyone

Free to Learn is a courageous and profoundly important book. Peter Gray joins the likes of Richard Louv and Alfie Kohn in speaking out for a more humane, compassionate and effective approach to education.”―Frank Forencich, author of Exuberant Animal and Change Your Body, Change the World

About the Author

Peter Gray is a research professor in the Department of Psychology at Boston College. The author of Psychology, a highly regarded college textbook, he writes a popular blog called Freedom to Learn for Psychology Today. He lives in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Basic Books; 1st edition (February 10, 2015)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0465084990
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0465084999
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.55 x 0.95 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,017 ratings

About the author

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Peter Gray
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Peter Gray has conducted and published research in neuroendocrinology, developmental psychology, anthropology, and education. He is author of an internationally acclaimed introductory psychology textbook (Psychology, Worth Publishers, now in its 8th edition, with David Bjorklund as co-author), which views all of psychology from an evolutionary perspective. His recent research focuses on the role of play in human evolution and how children educate themselves, through play and exploration, when they are free to do so. He has expanded on these ideas in his book, "Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life" (Basic Books, 2013). He also authors a regular blog, called "Freedom to Learn," for Psychology Today magazine. He is a founding member of the Alliance for Self-Directed Education and of the nonprofit Let Grow.

Peter Gray grew up primarily in various small towns in Minnesota and Wisconsin, but his family moved to Vermont when he was 16, and he has been east ever since. He studied psychology and biology at Columbia College in New York City and then earned a doctorate in biological sciences at the Rockefeller University. Ever since then, the location of his work has been in the psychology department at Boston College, where he served for 30 years as a professor and now, though retired from teaching and administrative duties, retains the title of Research Professor.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
1,017 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative and well-researched. They describe it as an engaging read that provides a good introduction to unschooling and play-based learning. The writing is described as engaging and intelligent. Readers appreciate the book's focus on self-directed, curiosity-driven play. The book offers a new perspective on educational freedom and gives children a sense of freedom.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

91 customers mention "Information quality"89 positive2 negative

Customers find the book informative and well-researched. It explains how children learn concepts and provides a bold interdisciplinary perspective on schooling. Readers appreciate the academic references and validate their homeschooling approach.

"...He explains, from anthropological, evolutionary, and psychological points of view, why giving children the reins over their games sets them up to be..." Read more

"...forced lessons, lectures, assignments, tests, grades, segregation by age into classrooms, or any of the other trappings of our standard, compulsory..." Read more

"...(Peaceful Parents Happy Kids, Playful Parenting, and Two Thousand Kisses a Day are among my favorites)...." Read more

"...environment that will enable children to playfully, joyfully learn the conceptual knowledge they must have to thrive in the 21st century and beyond...." Read more

71 customers mention "Readability"71 positive0 negative

Customers find the book readable and engaging. They appreciate the well-researched analysis and the clear writing style. The language is easy to understand and flows smoothly. The book offers an innovative approach to education that sounds promising.

"...about to become a parent, or even a parent of a teenager, this book is a must read...." Read more

"...This is a good book, and a must read for those who really care about education...." Read more

"...Neufeld and Mate’s book, also well worth the time, focuses on the external pressure from peers that have been affecting the last few generations of..." Read more

"...For those who embrace this task, "Free to Learn" is a great book to read, as it provides many insights into the catastrophe that is today's..." Read more

20 customers mention "Learning style"20 positive0 negative

Customers like the learning style. They say it's project-based, self-directed, and play-based. The book provides a great introduction to unschooling and play-based learning. It paints a thorough picture of how children learn (primarily through play) and makes a case for students directing their own learning in mixed age groups.

"...There is no need for forced lessons, lectures, assignments, tests, grades, segregation by age into classrooms, or any of the other trappings of our..." Read more

"...-education among differently-skilled peers is probably a great way to learn these skills...." Read more

"Great introduction to unschooling and play based learning. I recommend to anyone interested in exploring the subcultures." Read more

"Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray is..." Read more

19 customers mention "Pacing"19 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and thought-provoking. They describe it as an inspiring tribute to educational freedom and self-directed curiosity-driven play. The book provides reasoned arguments, relevant anecdotes, and peer-reviewed research. It is provocative and entertaining, with relevant points of view from evolutionary and psychological perspectives.

"...He explains, from anthropological, evolutionary, and psychological points of view, why giving children the reins over their games sets them up to be..." Read more

"...of traditional schooling (whether public or private), is extraordinarily compelling, and has forever changed my perspective on traditional education...." Read more

"...to Learn" is a great book to read, as it provides many insights into the catastrophe that is today's public education, and into the essential..." Read more

"...my children to learn in a way that is developmentally appropriate, engaging, where they learn how to learn, where they use their creativity and..." Read more

9 customers mention "Freedom of thought"9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's approach to teaching children. They find it gives kids complete freedom and mixes ages, giving them a newfound sense of freedom in parenting. The book allows them to learn about the world and gives children a deep sense of owning their destiny. It has changed their parenting style and kids appreciate the freedom.

"...understanding of what other are feeling, and with a deep sense of owning their destiny, all of which contribute to a reduction in depression as..." Read more

"...So how does Sudbury Valley work? It gives kids complete freedom and mixes ages...." Read more

"...Kids need more play, more freedom to learn. Play and creativity are so important...." Read more

"...Children of all ages need freedom. Children of all ages need play!" Read more

Should be required reading
5 out of 5 stars
Should be required reading
Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray is a must read for every parent. We have become so disconnected from the natural child that we, as a society, need to peel back our own institutionalized upbringing and take a good evolutionary, evidence-based look at how children learn and thrive. This book helps us all to do just that. Peter Gray paints a thorough picture of how children learn (primarily through play), with well researched points and global/historical examples, within the context of his own family’s story and time at the Sudbury democratic school. The book reads not as inspiring and poetic but as meaningfully informative with the moral that freedom, opportunity, and trust are the answer. In other words, unschooling. You will put down this book armed with the information and perspective to make quality choices for your child’s education.Be sure to listen to the conversation I shared with Peter Gray in episode 27 of the Sage Family podcast!“… the result is a school-centric view of child development that distorts human nature.”
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on December 3, 2019
    If you are a parent, about to become a parent, or even a parent of a teenager, this book is a must read. I have reading and researching a lot about play, and I have been working with children of all ages for more than 10 years, and now that I have my own kids I have become increasingly preoccupied with what exactly contributes to a child's independence, sense of self and sense of control over his own destiny. It finally makes sense now why my 6 year old cries, every day, on the way from his 5k public school, and tells me, in frustration "mom, but I didn't get to PLAY today". After reading this book I now understand why:... "my child goes to school to socialize with other children" is the biggest lie we parents have been told. In school, children are strictly supervised, and their actions are dictated at every second of every day. They are not free, nor will they be until we accept their innate desire to be in the company of peers and be able to take control over their actions, their games, their own destiny. I struggled, for a long time, to understand that giving children freedom to play is NOT THE SAME as raising undisciplined, misbehaving children. Actually, quite the opposite, and this book explains why. I can be a good parent, set limits to my children, enforce consequences for disobedience, BUT at the same time offer my children the freedom to play outside, get their hands dirty, invent games, let them carry out those game, let them negotiate changes in the rules of the games etc. That said, please don't imagine that this book is simply advice on "..oh, you know, letting kids play is good for them because I say so...."; no, the author did the most comprehensive research review analysis I have ever read. He explains, from anthropological, evolutionary, and psychological points of view, why giving children the reins over their games sets them up to be kinder adults, with a deeper understanding of what other are feeling, and with a deep sense of owning their destiny, all of which contribute to a reduction in depression as adults. If you want to understand why more adults are anxious, selfish, unable to relate to others, willing to step on others to reach the top without any considerations for peers, read this book. If you want a glimpse into why the current public education system is inefficient at TEACHING, read this book. If you are thinking, the way I was before reading this book, that public school is the best way for children to interact with other children, think critically and learn to be creative, read this book- you will find out that that's not the case....
    I also now finally understand why, in a few short weeks since kindergarten started, my son has become increasingly selfish, refusing to clean up anything other than his own toys, whereas before, he would gladly help his little sister with her "part of the mess". Now, after consistently being told in the classroom to keep his hands to himself, worry "about yourself", "do YOUR work" (the reason I know this is because I worked in a classroom), he is self centered to a degree I have not seen in him before. This selfishness will eventually be the reason why we are pulling him out of system...Anyway, another story for another time.
    Now I accept my past decision (for which family and friends have criticized plenty), of allowing my kids and their playmates to roam our yard, get the toys they want, mix water with dirt IF THEY CHOOSE TO, gather sticks to build a "fort" and all the other fun stuff they like to do (of course all this stopped with kindergarten) without intervening. I had plenty friends looking at me sideways ; You don't go outside with them to watch what they're doing??? OH the audacity!
    This may have been the longest review I have ever written, so I will try to conclude by saying that if you want to find out how children learn, you have to read this book. Hint: it has nothing to do with sitting at table and tracing letters. Plenty of social and psychological studies across multiple countries and across time serve as a solid backbone for what the author is presenting. Also: I still have a hard time accepting and applying the Sudbury Valley school model that the author describes. I need to do some research before being OK with it. But tha's fine. It's always nice to learn other points of view. Are you still reading this? I hope that by now you have clicked the "BUY" button. No? do it now
    96 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2013
    Peter Gray's book Free to Learn is an excellent addition to the genre of books on restoring freedom in education. Gray clearly states:

    "Children are biologically predisposed to take charge of their own education. When they are provided with the freedom and means to pursue their own interests, in safe settings, they bloom and develop along diverse and unpredictable paths, and they acquire the skills and confidence required to meet life's challenges. In such an environment, children ask for any help they may need from adults. There is no need for forced lessons, lectures, assignments, tests, grades, segregation by age into classrooms, or any of the other trappings of our standard, compulsory system of schooling. All of these, in fact, interfere with the children's natural way of learning."

    So why did we create schools that so directly "interfere with the children's natural way of learning"? Gray shows that in tribal cultures the focus of childhood was playing and learning knowledge, skills, and how to live self-sufficiently and honorably. When the agrarian revolution increased the need for child labor on farms, the values of school turned to toil, competition and status. While Gray's view of this is perhaps a bit idyllic, the reality is that modern schools are less concerned with student knowledge, skills, honor or abilities than with the universal goal of job training.

    Certainly job training has an important place in advanced society, but Gray is focused on the education of children, and in fact the toll on children in our modern job-obsessed schools is very high. They are way more stressed than earlier generations of children and youth.

    Why are we raising a generation of children and youth who are stressed, not secure? Gray's answer, based on a great deal of research which he outlines in the book, is that we have turned learning into a chore, a task, a labor, rather than the natural result of curiosity, interest, passion to learn, and self-driven seeking of knowledge and skills. In short, we've taken too much play out of childhood and too much freedom out of learning.

    The results are a major decline of American education in the last four decades. The solution is to put freedom back into education.

    Interestingly, Gray suggests that in many of the educational studies of classrooms, schools, homes and teachers that have found a way to successfully overcome these problems and achieve much better educational results, one of the key ingredients is "free age-mixing." Where students are allowed to freely mix with other students of various ages, without grade levels, the capacity of individuals to effectively self-educate is much higher. As for the impact on college and career success, students from free educational models excel.

    This is a good book, and a must read for those who really care about education. I don't agree with everything the author teaches, but I learned something important on almost every page. Whether or not you read Free to Learn, all of us who have children or work in education need to do more to promote the importance of increased freedom in education. Gray is a particular fan of "unschooling," a type of homeschooling and private schooling where parents and teachers set an example of great education, create an environment of excellent learning, and let the kids become self-learners. While this may not be the ideal learning style for every student, it is the best model for a lot of them--and for nearly every young person under age 12.

    If you disagree with this conclusion, you simply must read the book. The research is impeccable. If you do agree, the book can help you get to work setting a better example for any students in your life.
    26 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Annie
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
    Reviewed in Canada on September 25, 2024
    This is a wonderful book for parents
  • Ying
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful in every way for parents
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 4, 2024
    This book taught me lits of new knowledge which I can apply in parenting
  • Frank Calberg
    5.0 out of 5 stars Free to learn
    Reviewed in Germany on March 10, 2023
    Top takeaways from reading the book:
    - Page 5: Free play is the means by which children learn to make friends, overcome their fears, solve their problems, and generally take control of their lives.
    - Page 68: When Thomas Edison, founder of GE, was 8 years old, he was judged by a teacher as being unfit for school, as he was suffering from ADHD.
    - Page 73: Testing, grading and ranking make students, who perform less well than their class mates, feel shame. Earlier, school masters ridiculed misbehaving students in front of class mates.
    - Page 154: A child, who is playing, is not seeking approval from adults and can therefore dedicate all time to develop skills feeling joy and not feeling fear.
  • thierry7497
    5.0 out of 5 stars Livre
    Reviewed in France on August 13, 2023
    Apprendre et apprendre
  • Corné
    5.0 out of 5 stars Phenomenal
    Reviewed in the Netherlands on November 29, 2017
    Amazing book. Although I had already heard some good arguments for the value of play and self directed learning, this book really solidified all of that with its very convincing argumentation and an impressive body of research behind it.