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The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind Paperback – September 11, 2012
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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The authors of No-Drama Discipline and The Yes Brain explain the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures in this pioneering, practical book.
“Simple, smart, and effective solutions to your child’s struggles.”—Harvey Karp, M.D.
In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth.
Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.
“[A] useful child-rearing resource for the entire family . . . The authors include a fair amount of brain science, but they present it for both adult and child audiences.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Strategies for getting a youngster to chill out [with] compassion.”—The Washington Post
“This erudite, tender, and funny book is filled with fresh ideas based on the latest neuroscience research. I urge all parents who want kind, happy, and emotionally healthy kids to read The Whole-Brain Child. This is my new baby gift.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other
“Gives parents and teachers ideas to get all parts of a healthy child’s brain working together.”—Parent to Parent
- Print length192 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherBantam
- Publication dateSeptember 11, 2012
- Dimensions5.18 x 0.51 x 7.95 inches
- ISBN-109780553386691
- ISBN-13978-0553386691
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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Advance praise for The Whole-Brain Child
“Siegel and Bryson reveal that an integrated brain with parts that cooperate in a coordinated and balanced manner creates a better understanding of self, stronger relationships, and success in school, among other benefits. With illustrations, charts, and even a handy ‘Refrigerator Sheet,’ the authors have made every effort to make brain science parent-friendly.”—Publishers Weekly
“Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have created a masterful, reader-friendly guide to helping children grow their emotional intelligence. This brilliant method transforms everyday interactions into valuable brain-shaping moments. Anyone who cares for children—or who loves a child—should read The Whole-Brain Child.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
“Fears? Fights? Frustrations? Help is here! Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson turn leading brain science into simple, smart—and effective—solutions to your child's struggles.”—Harvey Karp, M.D., bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block
“This erudite, tender, and funny book is filled with fresh ideas based on the latest neuroscience research. I urge all parents who want kind, happy, and emotionally healthy kids to read The Whole-Brain Child. I wish I had read it when my kids were young, but no one knew then what Siegel and Bryson share with us in an immensely practical way. This is my new baby gift.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other
“The Whole-Brain Child is chock-full of strategies for raising happy, resilient children. It offers powerful tools for helping children develop the emotional intelligence they will need to be successful in the world. Parents will learn ways to feel more connected to their children and more satisfied in their role as a parent. Most of all, The Whole-Brain Child helps parents teach kids about how their brain actually works, giving even very young children the self-understanding that can lead them to make good choices and, ultimately, to lead meaningful and joyful lives.”—Christine Carter, Ph.D., author of Raising Happiness
“In their dynamic and readable new book, Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson sweep aside the old models of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ parenting to offer a scientific focus: the impact of parenting on brain development. Parents will certainly recognize themselves in the lively ‘aha’ anecdotes that fill these pages. More important, they will see how everyday empathy and insight can help a child to integrate his or her experience and develop a more resilient brain.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the bestselling Raising Cain
About the Author
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, the founding co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute. A graduate of Harvard Medical School, Dr. Siegel is the author of several books, including the New York Times bestsellers Brainstorm, Mind, and, with Tina Payne Bryson, The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. He is also the author of the bestsellers Mindsight and, with Mary Hartzell, Parenting from the Inside Out. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, with welcome visits from their adult son and daughter.
Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., is a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting consultant, and the director of parenting education and development for the Mindsight Institute. A frequent lecturer to parents, educators, and professionals, she lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Parenting with the Brain in Mind
Parents are often experts about their children's bodies. They know that a temperature above 98.6 degrees is a fever. They know to clean out a cut so it doesn't get infected. They know which foods are most likely to leave their child wired before bedtime.
But even the most caring, best-educated parents often lack basic information about their child's brain. Isn't this surprising? Especially when you consider the central role the brain plays in virtually every aspect of a child's life that parents care about: discipline, decision making, self-awareness, school, relationships, and so on. In fact, the brain pretty much determines who we are and what we do. And since the brain itself is significantly shaped by the experiences we offer as parents, knowing about the way the brain changes in response to our parenting can help us to nurture a stronger, more resilient child.
So we want to introduce you to the whole-brain perspective. We'd like to explain some fundamental concepts about the brain and help you apply your new knowledge in ways that will make parenting easier and more meaningful. We're not saying that raising a whole-brain child will get rid of all the frustrations that come with parenting. But by understanding a few simple and easy-to-master basics about how the brain works, you'll be able to better understand your child, respond more effectively to difficult situations, and build a foundation for social, emotional, and mental health. What you do as a parent matters, and we'll provide you with straightforward, scientifically based ideas that will help you build a strong relationship with your child that can help shape his brain well and give him the best foundation for a healthy and happy life.
Let us tell you a story that illustrates how useful this information can be for parents.
Eea Woo Woo
One day Marianna received a call at work telling her that her two- year-old son, Marco, had been in a car accident with his babysitter. Marco was fine, but the babysitter, who was driving, had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
Marianna, a principal at an elementary school, frantically rushed to the scene of the accident, where she was told that the babysitter had experienced an epileptic seizure while driving. Marianna found a firefighter unsuccessfully attempting to console her toddler. She took Marco in her arms, and he immediately began to calm down as she comforted him.
As soon as he stopped crying, Marco began telling Marianna what had happened. Using his two-year-old language, which only his parents and babysitter would be able to understand, Marco continually repeated the phrase "Eea woo woo." "Eea" is his word for "Sophia," the name of his beloved babysitter, and "woo woo" refers to his version of the siren on a fire truck (or in this case, an ambulance). By repeatedly telling his mother "Eea woo woo," Marco was focusing on the detail of the story that mattered most to him: Sophia had been taken away from him.
In a situation like this, many of us would be tempted to assure Marco that Sophia would be fine, then immediately focus on something else to get the child's mind off the situation: "Let's go get some ice cream!" In the days that followed, many parents would try to avoid upsetting their child by not discussing the accident. The problem with the "let's go get some ice cream" approach is that it leaves the child confused about what happened and why. He is still full of big and scary emotions, but he isn't allowed (or helped) to deal with them in an effective way.
Marianna didn't make that mistake. She had taken Tina's classes on parenting and the brain, and she immediately put what she knew to good use. That night and over the next week, when Marco's mind continually brought him back to the car crash, Marianna helped him retell the story over and over again. She'd say, "Yes, you and Sophia were in an accident, weren't you?" At this point, Marco would stretch out his arms and shake them, imitating Sophia's seizure. Marianna would continue, "Yes, Sophia had a seizure and started shaking, and the car crashed, didn't it?" Marco's next statement was, of course, the familiar "Eea woo woo," to which Marianna would respond, "That's right. The woo woo came and took Sophia to the doctor. And now she's all better. Remember when we went to see her yesterday? She's doing just fine, isn't she?"
In allowing Marco to repeatedly retell the story, Marianna was helping him understand what had happened so he could begin to deal with it emotionally. Since she knew the importance of helping her son's brain process the frightening experience, she helped him tell and retell the events so that he could process his fear and go on with his daily routines in a healthy and balanced way. Over the next few days, Marco brought up the accident less and less, until it became just another of his life experiences-albeit an important one.
As you read the following pages, you'll learn specifics about why Marianna responded as she did, and why, both practically and neurologically, it was so helpful to her son. You'll be able to apply your new knowledge about the brain in numerous ways that make parenting your own child more manageable and meaningful.
The concept at the heart of Marianna's response, and of this book, is integration. A clear understanding of integration will give you the power to completely transform the way you think about parenting your kids. It can help you enjoy them more and better prepare them to live emotionally rich and rewarding lives.
What Is Integration and Why Does It Matter?
Most of us don't think about the fact that our brain has many different parts with different jobs. For example, you have a left side of the brain that helps you think logically and organize thoughts into sentences, and a right side that helps you experience emotions and read nonverbal cues. You also have a "reptile brain" that allows you to act instinctually and make split-second survival decisions, and a "mammal brain" that leads you toward connection and relationships. One part of your brain is devoted to dealing with memory; another to making moral and ethical decisions. It's almost as if your brain has multiple personalities-some rational, some irrational; some reflective, some reactive. No wonder we can seem like different people at different times!
The key to thriving is to help these parts work well together-to integrate them. Integration takes the distinct parts of your brain and helps them work together as a whole. It's similar to what happens in the body, which has different organs to perform different jobs: the lungs breathe air, the heart pumps blood, the stomach digests food. For the body to be healthy, these organs all need to be integrated. In other words, they each need to do their individual job while also working together as a whole. Integration is simply that: linking different elements together to make a well-functioning whole. Just as with the healthy functioning of the body, your brain can't perform at its best unless its different parts work together in a coordinated and balanced way. That's what integration does: it coordinates and balances the separate regions of the brain that it links together. It's easy to see when our kids aren't integrated-they become overwhelmed by their emotions, confused and chaotic. They can't respond calmly and capably to the situation at hand. Tantrums, meltdowns, aggression, and most of the other challenging experiences of parenting-and life-are a result of a loss of integration, also known as dis-integration.
We want to help our children become better integrated so they can use their whole brain in a coordinated way. For example, we want them to be horizontally integrated, so that their left-brain logic can work well with their right-brain emotion. We also want them to be vertically integrated, so that the physically higher parts of their brain, which let them thoughtfully consider their actions, work well with the lower parts, which are more concerned with instinct, gut reactions, and survival.
The way integration actually takes place is fascinating, and it's something that most people aren't aware of. In recent years, scientists have developed brain-scanning technology that allows researchers to study the brain in ways that were never before possible. This new technology has confirmed much of what we previously believed about the brain. However, one of the surprises that has shaken the very foundations of neuroscience is the discovery that the brain is actually "plastic," or moldable. This means that the brain physically changes throughout the course of our lives, not just in childhood, as we had previously assumed.
What molds our brain? Experience. Even into old age, our experiences actually change the physical structure of the brain. When we undergo an experience, our brain cells-called neurons-become active, or "fire." The brain has one hundred billion neurons, each with an average of ten thousand connections to other neurons. The ways in which particular circuits in the brain are activated determines the nature of our mental activity, ranging from perceiving sights or sounds to more abstract thought and reasoning. When neurons fire together, they grow new connections between them. Over time, the connections that result from firing lead to "rewiring" in the brain. This is incredibly exciting news. It means that we aren't held captive for the rest of our lives by the way our brain works at this moment-we can actually rewire it so that we can be healthier and happier. This is true not only for children and adolescents, but also for each of us across the life span.
Right now, your child's brain is constantly being wired and rewired, and the experiences you provide will go a long way toward determining the structure of her brain. No pressure, right? Don't worry, though. Nature has provided that the basic architecture of the brain will develop well given proper food, sleep, and stimulation. Genes, of course, play a large role in how people turn out, especially in terms of temperament. But findings from various areas in developmental psychology suggest that everything that happens to us-the music we hear, the people we love, the books we read, the kind of discipline we receive, the emotions we feel-profoundly affects the way our brain develops. In other words, on top of our basic brain architecture and our inborn temperament, parents have much they can do to provide the kinds of experiences that will help develop a resilient, well- integrated brain. This book will show you how to use everyday experiences to help your child's brain become more and more integrated.
For example, children whose parents talk with them about their experiences tend to have better access to the memories of those experiences. Parents who speak with their children about their feelings have children who develop emotional intelligence and can understand their own and other people's feelings more fully. Shy children whose parents nurture a sense of courage by offering supportive explorations of the world tend to lose their behavioral inhibition, while those who are excessively protected or insensitively thrust into anxiety-provoking experiences without support tend to maintain their shyness.
There is a whole field of the science of child development and attachment backing up this view-and the new findings in the field of neuroplasticity support the perspective that parents can directly shape the unfolding growth of their child's brain according to what experiences they offer. For example, hours of screen time-playing video games, watching television, texting-will wire the brain in certain ways. Educational activities, sports, and music will wire it in other ways. Spending time with family and friends and learning about relationships, especially with face-to-face interactions, will wire it in yet other ways. Everything that happens to us affects the way the brain develops.
This wire-and-rewire process is what integration is all about: giving our children experiences to create connections between different parts of the brain. When these parts collaborate, they create and reinforce the integrative fibers that link different parts of the brain. As a result, they are connected in more powerful ways and can work together even more harmoniously. Just as individual singers in a choir can weave their distinct voices into a harmony that would be impossible for any one person to create, an integrated brain is capable of doing much more than its individual parts could accomplish alone.
That's what we want to do for each of our kids: help their brain become more integrated so they can use their mental resources to full capacity. This is exactly what Marianna did for Marco. When she helped him retell the story over and over again ("Eea woo woo"), she defused the scary and traumatic emotions in his right brain so that they didn't rule him. She did so by bringing in factual details and logic from his left brain-which, at two years old, is just beginning to develop-so that he could deal with the accident in a way that made sense to him.
If his mother hadn't helped him tell and understand the story, Marco's fears would have been left unresolved and could have surfaced in other ways. He might have developed a phobia about riding in cars or being separated from his parents, or his right brain might have raged out of control in other ways, causing him to tantrum frequently. Instead, by telling the story with Marco, Marianna helped focus his attention both on the actual details of the accident and on his emotions, which allowed him to use both the left and right sides of his brain together, literally strengthening their connection. (We'll explain this particular concept much more fully in chapter 2.) By helping him become better integrated, he could return to being a normal, developing two-year-old rather than dwelling on the fear and distress he had experienced.
Let's look at another example. Now that you and your siblings are adults, do you still fight over who gets to push the button for the elevator? Of course not. (Well, we hope not.) But do your kids squabble and bicker over this kind of issue? If they're typical kids, they do.
The reason behind this difference brings us back to the brain and integration. Sibling rivalry is like so many other issues that make parenting difficult-tantrums, disobedience, homework battles, discipline matters, and so on. As we'll explain in the coming chapters, these everyday parenting challenges result from a lack of integration within your child's brain. The reason her brain isn't always capable of integration is simple: it hasn't had time to develop. In fact, it's got a long way to go, since a person's brain isn't considered fully developed until she reaches her mid-twenties.
So that's the bad news: you have to wait for your child's brain to develop. That's right. No matter how brilliant you think your preschooler is, she does not have the brain of a ten-year-old, and won't for several years. The rate of brain maturation is largely influenced by the genes we inherit. But the degree of integration may be exactly what we can influence in our day-to-day parenting.
Product details
- ASIN : 0553386697
- Publisher : Bantam; Illustrated edition (September 11, 2012)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9780553386691
- ISBN-13 : 978-0553386691
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.18 x 0.51 x 7.95 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #320 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in Parenting Boys
- #3 in Medical Child Psychology
- #3 in Popular Child Psychology
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. is a graduate of Harvard Medical School and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in pediatrics and child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry. He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, founding co-director of UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center, founding co-investigator at the UCLA Center for Culture, Brain and Development, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute, an educational center devoted to promoting insight, compassion, and empathy in individuals, families, institutions, and communities.
Dr. Siegel’s psychotherapy practice spans thirty years, and he has published extensively for the professional audience. He serves as the Founding Editor for the Norton Professional Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology which includes over 70 textbooks. Dr. Siegel’s books include his five New York Times bestsellers: Aware: The science and practice of presence, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human, and two books with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.: The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. His other books include: The Power of Showing Up and The Yes Brain (also with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.), The Developing Mind, The Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology, Mindsight, The Mindful Brain, The Mindful Therapist, and Parenting from the Inside Out (with Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.). He has been invited to lecture for the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Google University, and TEDx.
For more information about his educational programs and resources, please visit: www.DrDanSiegel.com and www.mindsightinstitute.com.
Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. is the co-author (with Dan Siegel) of two New York Times Best Sellers—THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD and NO-DRAMA DISCIPLINE—each of which has been translated into dozens of languages, as well as THE YES BRAIN and THE POWER OF SHOWING UP and THE BOTTOM LINE FOR BABY. She is the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice in Southern California. Dr. Bryson keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world, and she frequently consults with schools, businesses, and other organizations. An LCSW, Tina is a graduate of Baylor University with a Ph.D. from USC. The most important part of her bio, she says, is that she’s a mom to her three boys. You can learn more about Dr. Bryson at TinaBryson.com.
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Customers find the book provides effective parenting advice and strategies to help children develop emotional intelligence, resilience, and problem-solving skills. They find it easy to understand, straightforward, and practical. The book is suitable for all ages, starting with young children. Readers appreciate the clear illustrations and scenarios that make the concepts easy to implement.
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Customers find the book provides actionable strategies to help children develop emotional intelligence, resilience, and problem-solving skills. They appreciate the cartoon versions that illustrate the various nurturing strategies. The book addresses brain development and how it relates to discipline and teaching children. The lessons and perspectives the authors teach are priceless for parents who want to have good, stable, and loving children. It is rich with examples, helping them address situations with patience and has in turn helped them calm down easier. The book provides 12 basic strategies that can help aid in behavioral issues in children, enable "teachable moments", and explain the science behind the actions.
"...I not only understand more about my daughter’s brain and thought process and emotions, but I also understand more about myself, and how my handling..." Read more
"Loved reading this so much. Lots of helpful and easy to understand information regarding child psych and development...." Read more
"...and Stages" material (on Pages 154-168) because it creates a wide and deep context, a frame of reference, for the abundance of information, insights..." Read more
"...This book addresses brain development and how it relates to discipline/teaching children how to be healthy and happy adults who value healthy and..." Read more
Customers find the book's theme easy to understand and approachable. They appreciate the illustrated dialogues that make the process clear. The writing style is straightforward, practical, and realistic. Readers appreciate the authors' simple suggestions on how you can parent in a straightforward way. The paperback version has easier access to brain diagrams than the Kindle version.
"...Beyond the concepts, this book provides practical, easy to understand techniques. And darn it if they don’t work...." Read more
"Loved reading this so much. Lots of helpful and easy to understand information regarding child psych and development...." Read more
"...It was a quick, easy read, the literature was not difficult to understand...." Read more
"...First off, the way it is written is very casual and familiar, which makes it very accessible to anyone who is even remotely literate...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for parents and children of all ages. It provides strategies for helping children integrate different aspects of their thinking, including infancy and toddler years. The chart at the end provides strategies appropriate for helping children integrate emotional, social, and behavioral development through age twelve.
"...it relates to discipline/teaching children how to be healthy and happy adults who value healthy and cooperative relationships with others...." Read more
"...psychology into basic language for a general audience, for use in direct child interactions...." Read more
"...GIVE IT A READ! BE OPEN MINDED! HAVE FUN! ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN! NURTURE THEM! THEY ARE OUR FUTURE!" Read more
"Such a good book into the mind and thinking of a child!..." Read more
Customers find the book's strategies easy to apply and remember. They appreciate the specific interactions that help connect the dots in their child's brain. The strategies are practical and usable right away. The book provides real-life examples and smart suggestions. It is set up well and suited for parents of children from 0-12 years old, which is convenient and valuable for parenting.
"...For me, this makes them easier to remember and implement. After reading this book, I *get* it...." Read more
"...It was a quick, easy read, the literature was not difficult to understand...." Read more
"...I liked the ideas in the book that helped me to understand how the different parts of the brain works and how to utilize the skills to activate the..." Read more
"...Again, they are intensive and hard to do in the moment the behavior is being exhibited by the child...." Read more
Customers find the illustrations in the book helpful and well-researched. They appreciate the drawings of different situations with good and bad reactions that are clear and easy to absorb. The diagrams are also excellent for talking with kids about how their brains work. The book provides a great description of how the brain works in lay terms and visual aids. It finishes with a chart of how to use those techniques at each age range.
"...Dozens of eminently appropriate illustrations were created by Tuesday Mourning...." Read more
"...The illustrations are helpful in showing the dos and don'ts (not labelled as such, thankfully), but I found myself thinking the don'ts were many..." Read more
"...It was laid out beautifully and very easy to absorb. I’ll easily be able to remember the main points and apply them when applicable...." Read more
"...Conflict, are but a few of the strategies the authors present in a thoughtful and accessible format, one that respects the role of relationships..." Read more
Customers find the book provides actionable parenting advice in a comic strip format. They appreciate the realistic scenarios and follow-up suggestions from each chapter. The scenarios are presented in an easy-to-understand way with actionable takeaways. Readers also mention that the book helps them think about how to handle situations when it feels like their kids are acting up.
"...It really helps you stop and think about how to handle situations when it feels like your kids are really trying to push all of the buttons...." Read more
"...Even has cool little cartoon portions so you can post up with your kids and walk them through to help open up discussions...." Read more
"...Book includes helpful scenarios, graphics and follow up suggestions from each chapter." Read more
"...Also, this book has cartoons to explain the theories, which is also good for you to share the knowledge of brain with your kids...." Read more
Customers find the book's techniques and ideas for raising toddlers effective. They say it works well when put into practice, complements Montessori curriculum, and provides tools that actually work.
"...The authors' ability to successfully and fluently translate incredibly intricate science to the common reader..." Read more
"...This book is a must-read for any parent seeking a more empathetic, effective, and harmonious approach to raising children." Read more
"...In addition, the advice contained in the book is clear and effective...." Read more
"...this context, the writers introduce a philosophy and smart, effective techniques that resonate (at least they resonated with me)...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for communicating with children. They say it provides strategies to connect better and resolve conflict. The book offers tips on how to engage and communicate effectively, avoiding yelling.
"...to be healthy and happy adults who value healthy and cooperative relationships with others...." Read more
"...They emphasize connection first with a narrative approach to healing which as an attachment parenting advocate and narrative therapist, you know I..." Read more
"...such as Name it to Tame it, Engage, don't Enrage, and Connect through Conflict, are but a few of the strategies the authors present in a..." Read more
"...It discusses communication strategies for connecting better with your child by integrating the whole brain (both logic and emotion) into your..." Read more
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2024This book has changed the way I parent. I have two daughters, 1 and 6 years old. The oldest struggles with elevated levels of anxiety to the point where we decided to have her start chatting with a pediatric therapist to help her (and us) better navigate the tough moments. Her therapist recommends that all parents read this book. I am so thankful that I did. I not only understand more about my daughter’s brain and thought process and emotions, but I also understand more about myself, and how my handling of situations has projected my own anxiety onto her. The good news is that we can actually change our brains by forming new neural pathways, and it’s never too late to start. So you can take situations that normally upset your child (anxiety, fear, anger, violence, hyersilliness, nervousness, inability to focus – truly anything) and use these occurrences to help them form new neural pathways that in turn allow them to better cope with challenges. And it’s helped me in the same way. I’ve noticed I am better able to manage high-anxiety situations in general. This book does an amazing job at explaining just enough of the science to help the concepts make logical sense. For me, this makes them easier to remember and implement. After reading this book, I *get* it. And that makes all the difference in the world when you are in an emotional moment, struggling to best navigate not only your little one’s feelings but also your own. Beyond the concepts, this book provides practical, easy to understand techniques. And darn it if they don’t work. I noticed such a rapid response with my 6-year-old that I started using some of the approaches with my 1-year-old, and there was an immediate response with her as well. Getting such quick and positive feedback makes you excited to keep using the approaches. And it’s really set up to be as easy as possible. There is a helpful “HOW TO USE THIS BOOK” section at the beginning, I’ve included some snippets in my photos. I think this book is a game changer for parenting, and I wish I had read it earlier. I recommend this to any parent, new or veteran.
5.0 out of 5 stars game changer for parentingThis book has changed the way I parent. I have two daughters, 1 and 6 years old. The oldest struggles with elevated levels of anxiety to the point where we decided to have her start chatting with a pediatric therapist to help her (and us) better navigate the tough moments. Her therapist recommends that all parents read this book. I am so thankful that I did. I not only understand more about my daughter’s brain and thought process and emotions, but I also understand more about myself, and how my handling of situations has projected my own anxiety onto her. The good news is that we can actually change our brains by forming new neural pathways, and it’s never too late to start. So you can take situations that normally upset your child (anxiety, fear, anger, violence, hyersilliness, nervousness, inability to focus – truly anything) and use these occurrences to help them form new neural pathways that in turn allow them to better cope with challenges. And it’s helped me in the same way. I’ve noticed I am better able to manage high-anxiety situations in general. This book does an amazing job at explaining just enough of the science to help the concepts make logical sense. For me, this makes them easier to remember and implement. After reading this book, I *get* it. And that makes all the difference in the world when you are in an emotional moment, struggling to best navigate not only your little one’s feelings but also your own. Beyond the concepts, this book provides practical, easy to understand techniques. And darn it if they don’t work. I noticed such a rapid response with my 6-year-old that I started using some of the approaches with my 1-year-old, and there was an immediate response with her as well. Getting such quick and positive feedback makes you excited to keep using the approaches. And it’s really set up to be as easy as possible. There is a helpful “HOW TO USE THIS BOOK” section at the beginning, I’ve included some snippets in my photos. I think this book is a game changer for parenting, and I wish I had read it earlier. I recommend this to any parent, new or veteran.
Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2024
Images in this review - Reviewed in the United States on October 12, 2024Loved reading this so much. Lots of helpful and easy to understand information regarding child psych and development. This book brings to light how our little ones brains understand/react to things. The author does a great job at giving a bunch of relatable stories and everyday parenting experiences throughout. Easy and enjoyable to read, even my husband listened to it on audible. 5/5 stars 💓
- Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2012As a father of three sons and a daughter and one of the grandfathers of their ten children, I can certainly understand what Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have in mind while discussing moments of extreme stress for parents when their children become infuriating and intolerable. That is why I was intrigued by their explanation of the power of the "whole-brain approach" during all manner of touchpoints in parent-child relationships. That power is especially helpful in "the moments you are just trying to survive" because it creates "opportunities to help your child to thrive." In fact, the 12 strategies that Siegal and Bryson recommend can be effective for almost [begin italics] anyone [end italics] who has direct and frequent contact with children, including teachers, coaches, and clergy as well as parents and other relatives.
In fact, with only minor modification, I think they can be beneficial to interactive relationships between and among adults, especially to those within a workplace.
"What's great about this survive-and-thrive approach is that you don't have to try to carve out special time to help your children thrive. You can use [begin italics] all [end italics] of the interactions you share - the stressful, angry ones as well as the miraculous, adorable ones - as opportunities to help them become the responsible, caring, capable people you want them to be. That's what this book is about: using those everyday moments with your kids to help them reach their true potential."
These are among the passages that caught my eye:
o Integration of Various Mental Domains (Pages 6-10)
o Get in the Flow: Navigating the Waters Between Chaos and Rigidity (10-13)
o Left Brain, Right Brain: An Introduction (15-16)
o Two Halves Make a Whole: Combining the Left and the Right (18-22)
o The Mental Staircase: Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs Brain (38-41)
o Integrating Ourselves: Using Our Own Mental Staircase (64-65)
o Integrating Implicit and Explicit: Assembling the Puzzle Pieces of the Mind (76-86)
o Mindsight and the Wheel of Awareness (93-97)
o Integrating Ourselves: Looking at Our Own Wheel of Awareness (117-118)
o Laying the Groundwork for Connection: Creating Positive Mental Models (125-127)
o Cultivating a "Yes" State of Mind: Helping Kids Be Receptive to Relationships (129-133)
o Integrating Ourselves: Making Sense of Our Own Story (143-144)
Note: I urge you to check out another of Siegal's books, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, in which Mindsight and the Wheel of Awareness are among the subjects discussed.
Readers will appreciate Siegal and Bryson's skillful use of "What You Can Do" sections throughout their narrative that serve several purposes, notably focusing on key points while suggesting specific initiatives to apply what has been learned from the given material. For example, "What You Can Do: Helping Your Child Work from Both Sides of the Brain" (Pages 22-33). Dozens of eminently appropriate illustrations were created by Tuesday Mourning.
However, no brief commentary such as mine could possibly do full justice to the scope and depth of what Siegal and Bryson cover, with eloquence as well as rigor. I have elected not to list the twelve (12) strategies because I think they are best revealed in context, within the narrative. I do presume to suggest that those who are about to read this book begin and then frequently review later the "Whole-Brain Ages and Stages" material (on Pages 154-168) because it creates a wide and deep context, a frame of reference, for the abundance of information, insights, and recommendations in the six preceding chapters and Conclusion, "Bringing It All Together. "
This book need not be read straight through (although I prefer that approach) but it should certainly be consulted frequently, hence the importance of "Whole-Brain Ages and Stages" and the Index as well as (I hope) passages of special importance that have been highlighted.
I also presume to suggest that Daniel Siegal and Tina Payne Bryson's brilliant book will be most valuable to whole-brain readers. In it, they provide what they characterize in the Introduction as "an antidote to parenting and academic approaches that overemphasize achievement and perfection at any cost." It is imperative that everyone involved directly (and even indirectly) with the development if children "understand some basics about the young brain that [they] are helping to grow and develop."
- Reviewed in the United States on August 17, 2024I firmly believe in understanding the brain and child development for effective parenting. Sure, other strategies may have a faster result, but the result isn't long lasting and can be harmful to the parent-child relationship. This book addresses brain development and how it relates to discipline/teaching children how to be healthy and happy adults who value healthy and cooperative relationships with others. Because let's be honest, they're only children for a small portion of their life. If you're a parent that feels like all other traditional methods have failed, I highly recommend giving this book a read. It was a quick, easy read, the literature was not difficult to understand. The examples were really good and feel like they can be applied to different scenarios easily. It feels like a lot of information at once, but we have implemented these strategies with my 3-year-old and already seen a massive change in behavior and demeanor towards us. 🖤🖤
- Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2024I feel so lucky to have encountered this book. The author did a fantastic job in demystifying children’s behaviors through scientific research on how young brain develops. I learnt a lot from this book and the knowledge will improve my parenting skills in the following days. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to be a good parent.
5.0 out of 5 stars Such a fantastic book for good parentingI feel so lucky to have encountered this book. The author did a fantastic job in demystifying children’s behaviors through scientific research on how young brain develops. I learnt a lot from this book and the knowledge will improve my parenting skills in the following days. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to be a good parent.
Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2024
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Top reviews from other countries
- JadeReviewed in Canada on October 14, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Great strategies and ways to implement them throughout your child’s life. I feel like it was kept short and sweet - easy to read and understand.
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Cliente KindleReviewed in Brazil on April 26, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Bom
Bom
- Qammar AfzaalReviewed in Saudi Arabia on November 14, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Really helpful !
It helped me regulate my emotions and my kids emotions at the same time while he is throwing tantrum . It has helped me understand what’s happening in his brain when he is throwing tantrum so it’s a great buy .
- Reghill J Manuel RajReviewed in India on August 20, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book to understand brain development
I purchased this book to understand the brain development and how children think. But, this book goes beyond that. I could also relate to emotions of adults as well. This gives a clear picture of what right, left brain does, what is upstairs and downstairs brain, about implicit and explicit memories. This gives a fresh perspective. The strategies discussed in the book are presented with day to day issues we face with children and how to tackle. The best part is nothing discussed would need disciplined effort to bring it to practice. Very simple strategies and very easy to implement with change of perspective in how we handle issues of children. And I could also relate to my thoughts and feelings. Amazingly good. Definitely worth the read.
- Sille RoganovaReviewed in Germany on August 9, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Whole brain
Wonderful book!! Very satisfied. Very nicely everything explained and easy to understand. Every parent should read it who have small kids or who are planning to have kids or why not to have for these parents who have done some mistakes but would like to understand how to make things better 🤗