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The Weight of Our Sky Kindle Edition
Melati Ahmad looks like your typical movie-going, Beatles-obsessed sixteen-year-old. Unlike most other sixteen-year-olds though, Mel also believes that she harbors a djinn inside her, one who threatens her with horrific images of her mother’s death unless she adheres to an elaborate ritual of counting and tapping to keep him satisfied.
A trip to the movies after school turns into a nightmare when the city erupts into violent race riots between the Chinese and the Malay. When gangsters come into the theater and hold movie-goers hostage, Mel, a Malay, is saved by a Chinese woman, but has to leave her best friend behind to die.
On their journey through town, Mel sees for herself the devastation caused by the riots. In her village, a neighbor tells her that her mother, a nurse, was called in to help with the many bodies piling up at the hospital. Mel must survive on her own, with the help of a few kind strangers, until she finds her mother. But the djinn in her mind threatens her ability to cope.
- Reading age12 years and up
- LanguageEnglish
- Grade level7 - 9
- Lexile measure830L
- PublisherSalaam Reads / Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
- Publication dateFebruary 5, 2019
- ISBN-13978-1534426085
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Editorial Reviews
From School Library Journal
Review
"Melati’s growing strength gives hope to readers: If she can fight her inner demon and save the day, then they can, too." (Booklist November 2018)
* "This is a brutally honest, no-holds-barred reimagining of the time: The evocative voice transports readers to 1960s Malaysia, and the brisk pace is enthralling. Above all, the raw emotion splashed across the pages will resonate deeply, no matter one's race or religion. Unabashedly rooted in the author's homeland and confronting timely topics and challenging themes, this book has broad appeal for teen readers." (Kirkus Reviews - starred review December 2018)
* "At the sentence level, Alkaf’s use of first-person narration expertly (and, in some cases, painfully) places readers inside Melati’s head as she experiences internal and external horrors....Echoing contemporary race relations, the subject feels especially relevant. VERDICT Alkaf’s immersive, powerful writing make this a must-purchase for all YA collections." (School Library Journal - starred review )
"Alkaf offers a gripping fictionalized account of the 1969 post-election riots in Malaysia, limning acts of bravery and tolerance that unreel alongside the slaughter perpetrated in the Kuala Lumpur streets." (Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books February 2019)
"With her debut young adult novel, The Weight of Our Sky, journalist Hanna Alkaf provides heart-pounding, graphic insight into the seismic life shifts experienced by residents of Kuala Lumpur in the days directly following the May 1969 Malaysian Riots." (Shelf Awareness *Starred Review*)
From the Author
If you're not in the right frame of mind to take that on, please consider setting it aside and waiting until you're ready. No book is worth sacrificing your well-being for.
If this doesn't apply to you, then thank you for considering my book! It is a very personal one for me in many ways, and I hope Melati's story resonates with you in some small way.
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
BY THE TIME SCHOOL ENDS on Tuesday, my mother has died seventeen times.
On the way to school, she is run over by a runaway lorry, her insides smeared across the black tar road like so much strawberry jelly. During English, while we recite a poem to remember our parts of speech (“An interjection cries out HARK! I need an EXCLAMATION MARK!” our teacher Mrs. Lalitha declaims, gesturing for us to follow, pulling the most dramatic faces), she is caught in a cross fire between police and gang members and is killed by a stray bullet straight through her chest, blood blossoming in delicate blooms all over her crisp white nurse’s uniform. At recess, she accidentally ingests some sort of dire poison and dies screaming in agony, her face purple, the corners of her open mouth flecked with white foam and spittle. And as we peruse our geography textbooks, my mother is stabbed repeatedly by robbers, the wicked blades of their parangs gliding through her flesh as though it were butter.
I know the signs; this is the Djinn, unfolding himself, stretching out, pricking me gently with his clawed fingers. See what I can do? he whispers, unfurling yet another death scene in all its technicolor glory. See what happens when you disobey? They float to the top of my consciousness unbidden at the most random times and set off a chain reaction throughout my entire body: cold sweat, damp palms, racing heart, nausea, light-headedness, the sensation of a thousand needles pricking me from head to toe.
It seems difficult now to believe that there was ever a time when the only djinns I believed in came from fairy tales, benevolent creatures that poured like smoke from humble old oil lamps and antique rings, granted you your heart’s desire, then disappeared when the transaction was complete. I might even have daydreamed of finding one someday. And later, they took a different shape, one informed by religious teachers and Quran recitation classes: creatures of smoke and fire, who had their own realm on Earth and kept to themselves, for the most part.
I didn’t realize they could be sharp, cruel, insidious little things that crept and wormed their way into your thoughts and made your brain hot and itchy.
The clanging of the final bell echoes through the school corridors. “Te-ri-ma-ka-sih-cik-gu.” The class singsongs their thank-yous in unison as Mrs. Lim nods and strides briskly out the door in her severe, high-necked navy-blue dress, the blackboard covered in complicated mathematical formulas, the floor before it covered in chalk dust. I stuff my books hurriedly into my bag, smiling halfheartedly and waving as other girls pass—“Bye, Mel!” “See you tomorrow!”—and I concentrate on the task at hand. Biggest to smallest, pencil case in the right-hand pocket, tap each item three times before closing the bag, one, two, three. Something feels off. My hands are frozen, suspended above my belongings. Did I do that right? Did I tap three times or four? I break out into a light sweat. Again, the Djinn whispers, again. Think how much better you’ll feel when you finally get it.
No, I tell him firmly, trying to ignore the way my fingers twitch, the wave of panic rising from my stomach.
Yes, he says.
One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two . . .
“Well?”
I look up, startled. My best friend, Safiyah, is standing by my desk, rocking back and forth eagerly on her heels, quivering with high excitement from the tips of her toes to the tip of her perfectly perky ponytail, tied back with a length of white ribbon. “Perfectly perky” is actually a great description of Saf in general, whom my mother often jokes only ever has two modes: “happy” and “asleep.” She bounces away through her days, dispensing ready smiles, compliments, and high fives to all and sundry, while I trail along in her wake, awkward, vaguely melancholy, and in a constant state of semi-embarrassment.
I’m pretty sure Saf is the reason I have friends at all.
“Well, what?”
Saf’s face falls. “Don’t tell me you forgot! You, me, Paul? Remember?”
“Oh, that.” My heart sinks. The last thing I want to do right now is be trapped in the dark, stuffy recesses of the neighborhood cinema as everyone else watches one movie and the Djinn forces me to watch another.
“Do we really have to, Saf?” I sling my bag over my shoulder and make for the door. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. There is a very specific pattern to adhere to, a rhythm that’s smooth and soothing, like the waltzes Mama likes to listen to on the radio on Sunday afternoons. A method to the madness.
Not that this is madness. It’s the Djinn.
“Of course we do!” Saf scurries along beside me, taking two steps for every one of my strides. “You promised! And anyway, I always back you up when it’s something to do with your Paul. . . .”
“You leave Paul McCartney out of this.” Right foot first out the door—good. “Or any of the Beatles, for that matter,” I add as an afterthought. I mean, I’m a little iffy about Ringo, but even he’s better than Paul Newman.
One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.
“Come on, Mel, please. . . .” Her tone is wheedling now. “You know it has to be today. My dad’s at some kind of meeting until late. He’ll never let me go otherwise. You know how he feels about movies.” She screws up her face and lowers her voice in a dead-on imitation of her father. “?‘Movies? Movies DULL the mind, Safiyah. They are the refuge of the UNCULTURED and the UNEDUCATED. They erode your MORALS.’?”
I snort with laughter in spite of myself. “Fine,” I say grudgingly. “It’s not like Mama expects me at home anyway; she’s on shift at the hospital until tonight. But can’t we go to Cathay or Pavilion? At least they aren’t so far. We could just walk.”
Saf shakes her head firmly. “The Rex,” she says. “We have to go to the Rex.”
I shoot her a glance. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Jason’s father’s sugarcane stall happens to be right across the street from there, right?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Saf says innocently, playing with the frayed end of her hair ribbon and doing her best not to look at me, a blush spreading like wildfire across her dimpled cheeks. “I just . . . really happen to prefer watching movies at the Rex.” I can’t help but grin. Saf can fool a lot of people with those good-girl looks and that demure smile. But then again most people haven’t been friends with her since the age of seven, when she marched right up to me on the first day of primary school, while everyone else stood around looking nervous and unsure, and declared cheerfully, “I like you! Let’s be best friends.” On the surface, we’re polar opposites: She is bright where I am dim, cheery smiles where I am worried frowns, pleasing plumpness where I am sharp, uncomfortable angles. But maybe that’s why we fit together so perfectly.
“You are so obvious,” I snigger, jabbing her in the ribs, and we dissolve into giggles as we run for the bus.
I hoist myself up the steps—right foot first: good girl, Mel—and the Djinn suddenly rears up, ready and alert. I feel a sickening weight in my stomach. The right-hand window seat in the third row, my usual choice—the safest choice—is occupied. A Chinese auntie, her loose short-sleeved blouse boasting dark patches of sweat, dozes in the afternoon heat. Whenever she leans too far forward, she quickly jerks her head back, her eyes opening for a split second, her face rearranging itself into something resembling propriety. But before long, she’s nodding off again, lulled by the gentle rolling of the bus.
I can feel the panic start to descend, that telltale prickling starting in my toes and working its way up to claim the rest of me. If you don’t sit in that seat, the safe seat, Mama will die, the Djinn whispers, and I hate how familiar his voice is to my ears, that low, rich rasp like gravel wrapped in velvet. Mama will die, and it’ll be all your fault.
I know it doesn’t make sense. I know it shouldn’t matter. But at the same time, I am absolutely certain that nothing matters more than this, not a single thing in the entire world. My chest heaves, up and down, up and down.
Quickly, I slide into the window seat on the left—still third row, which is good, but on the left, which is most definitely, terribly, awfully not good. But I can make it right. I can make it safe.
The old blue bus coughs and wheezes its way down the road and as Saf waxes lyrical about the dreamy swoop of Paul Newman’s perfect hair and the heavenly blue of his perfect eyes, my mother is floating, floating, floating down into the depths of the Klang River, her face blue, her eyes shut, her lungs filled with murky water.
Quickly, quietly, so that Saf won’t notice, I tap my right foot, then my left, then right again, thirty-three sets of three altogether, all the way to Petaling Street.
Finally, the Djinn subsides. For now.
Product details
- ASIN : B07GNSHMHM
- Publisher : Salaam Reads / Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers (February 5, 2019)
- Publication date : February 5, 2019
- Language : English
- File size : 1802 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Not Enabled
- Print length : 218 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #422,527 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Hanna Alkaf is an author of unapologetically Malaysian young adult and middle grade books. She has a degree in journalism from Northwestern University, more than ten years of experience in journalism and communications, an out-of-control TBR pile, and two energetic little humans to clothe, feed and entertain all day. She lives near Kuala Lumpur with her family and now spends all of her time making things up as she goes along, both as a writer and as a mom. You can find out more about Hanna and her work at www.hannaalkaf.com or follow her on Twitter and Instagram (@yesitshanna).
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers praise the story for its powerful and compelling narrative. They find the characters relatable and relatable, with a realistic portrayal of mental illness and OCD. The book is described as heartfelt, emotional, and tense. Readers appreciate the lovely writing style and typographical errors. They find the content relevant and informative, and appreciate the thorough warnings provided by the author.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the story compelling and heartwarming. They describe it as a timeless tale with relatable characters. The book is described as a thoughtful historical fiction that features a moment in time.
"...Though this story is fiction, it brings to light an important piece of history that shouldn't be forgotten..." Read more
"...Alright, so in some ways, this YA book is more adult than actual adult historical novels...." Read more
"...This is an amazingly powerful story and I’m so thankful Alkaf shared it with the world...." Read more
"...the rest of the world is gifted with a window to an important cultural and historical event as well as a compassionate presentation of a..." Read more
Customers find the book's characters compelling and unique. They appreciate the realistic portrayal of mental illness and OCD. The book is described as a heartwarming showcase of humanity.
"...The writing is captivating, the characters are vividly real (and so many of them endearing), and the plot kept me on the edge of my seat, even in..." Read more
"...I'm so glad that Alkaf wrote an amazing, realistic portrayal of both mental illness and community violence and the aftermath." Read more
"...Melati is a compelling character and narrator, I couldn’t put this book down. I can’t wait for Hanna Alkaf’s next book...." Read more
"This is a fascinating book, both from the main character's OCD, which she attributes to having a Djinn inside her, and a look at a week of horrible..." Read more
Customers find the book's content heartfelt and emotional. They mention complex relationships, emotions, and racial issues. The story is described as heartbreaking and beautiful. However, some readers find it stressful and tense, with parts involving death, racism, OCD, and anxiety triggers.
"...I loved this book. It made me tear up with grief, relief, and joy. It's beautifully done...." Read more
"...are some down times in the story, the book has an almost constant high level of tension...." Read more
"This book gets everything right — the deep, complex relationships and emotions; the complicated racial and political landscape of 1969 Malaysia; and..." Read more
"...contains all my favorite things I look for in a YA historical: gut-wrenching tragedy, a window into a different place and time..." Read more
Customers appreciate the writing quality. They find it lovely, thoughtful, and engaging. The book is well-written without typographical errors.
"...This story is beautifully written. The writing is captivating, the characters are vividly real (and so many of them endearing), and the plot kept me..." Read more
"...Melati is a compelling character and narrator, I couldn’t put this book down. I can’t wait for Hanna Alkaf’s next book...." Read more
"...This is a thoughtful read in the current political climate as well, where anyone "other" is suspect...." Read more
"...if this highly educated Malaysian could put out a book with no typographical errors... I can say that to the best of my ability I found none...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book. They find it engaging and heartbreaking, bringing them relief and joy.
"...I loved this book. It made me tear up with grief, relief, and joy. It's beautifully done...." Read more
"...The writing was personal and thoughtful, yet beautiful and engaging. Would highly recommend." Read more
"Enthralling and heartbreaking..." Read more
Customers find the book relevant in several areas. They find it an important story and beautifully written. The tensions are informative, and the study of living with OCD is fascinating.
"...learning about this particular time and place, but it feels very relevant in several areas...." Read more
"Such an important, incredible story, and so beautifully written. One of my favorite reads." Read more
"Fascinating study of what it's like to live with OCD..." Read more
Customers appreciate the thorough warnings in the book. They mention that the author provided a note about graphic violence, death, racism, OCD, and anxiety triggers.
"...The author made sure to give a very thorough warning in a three page author note at the front of the book...." Read more
"...It comes with a trigger warning and honestly, all books should, people have no idea how difficult it can be to dive into any kind of content..." Read more
"...Alkaf gave warnings for graphic violence, death, racism, OCD, and anxiety triggers, and while portions were horrific, it wasn't as graphic as I..." Read more
Reviews with images
FIVE STARS OUT OF FIVE!!!
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2019I came here to review this book as soon as I finished because it's exceptional and the world deserves to know it.
As the author mentions in the content warning note, the subject matter is heavy, but the book still finds ways to show the beauty of humanity alongside the extreme ugliness of violence and hatred and gives glimmers of hope and joy and love amongst the wreckage and despair
This story is beautifully written. The writing is captivating, the characters are vividly real (and so many of them endearing), and the plot kept me on the edge of my seat, even in the "quieter" moments.
As an American who sadly does not possess much knowledge of Malaysia, I was previously unaware of the race riots that this book takes place during. Though this story is fiction, it brings to light an important piece of history that shouldn't be forgotten (and in many ways feels all too applicable to things happening around the world today).
I loved this book. It made me tear up with grief, relief, and joy. It's beautifully done. If you are in the right place mentally and emotionally, don't wait another second. Read this book. I truly believe everyone can benefit from it.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2020I'm Singaporean, and while the race riots in TWOS focus on the 13 May Incident (hah, classic euphemism), these sorts of race riots had been happening throughout the '60s in Malaysia (which included Singapore until 1965). (The Wikipedia article and citations on the 13 May Incident are a good starting point for those who want to delve deeper. Apparently, gangs separating people trapped in cinemas into groups to kill/not kill really happened.) People have already talked about the extremely detailed portrayal of mental illness and the stigma surrounding it, so my review is going to focus on my feelings on the ending. Nothing specific, but DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY KIND OF SPOILER.
Alright, so in some ways, this YA book is more adult than actual adult historical novels. I think it's very brave of Hanna Alkaf to write about a traumatic, divisive event that's still in living memory for many Malaysians. Quite honestly, the trauma still very much festers in contemporary Malaysian politics and policies. The dominance of UMNO (United Malays National Organisation) in parliament and other positions of power until just a couple months ago and the bumiputra policy that began right after the KL riots are part of the sad legacy of that time. Alkaf wrote TWOS with the trauma and its legacy very much in mind, I feel. The ending is the definition of bittersweet, probably even leaning toward bitter, because while Melati has gained things, she has also lost irreplaceable things. I will spoil the mental health aspect of the ending, because I think it's another way that Alkaf wrote a very mature story. No, Melati's anxiety and OCD are not cured by a magical bildungsroman narrative. It is evident that she still lives with them in the epilogue, even as we saw growth in how she beats back the "djinn" in the main story. I'm so glad that Alkaf wrote an amazing, realistic portrayal of both mental illness and community violence and the aftermath.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2019Melati faces demons daily, but when the race riots begin, her challenges are multiplied. The book opens with Melati explaining that by the end of the school day, her mother has died seventeen times. A djinn has shown her visions of many, many different ways her mother could die if Melati does not obey its commands. She tries to keep the visions at bay, but is not very successful. Being in Melati’s head is frustrating and a bit torturous. She has a strong will though and keeps doing what she can to satisfy the djinn, what we would now call OCD, without making it obvious to people around her that she is engaging in this struggle.
The constant threats of the djinn wear on Melati but everything is magnified with the rapid escalation of violence in their city. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time can have deadly consequences. Between the djinn and the riots, Melati is living on the edge. Even though there are some down times in the story, the book has an almost constant high level of tension. The author made sure to give a very thorough warning in a three page author note at the front of the book. She wanted to be sure that the book doesn’t cause harm. That said, it is not only a potentially stressful read, but it also offers hope. Melati is fighting for survival mentally and physically and she keeps getting back up when she is knocked down. She is overwhelmed sometimes, but she’s stronger than she believes. This is an amazingly powerful story and I’m so thankful Alkaf shared it with the world.
Historical fiction isn’t always a go-to for everyone, but this tale seems timeless. I appreciated learning about this particular time and place, but it feels very relevant in several areas. Hearing the story directly from Melati provides a way for the mental health issues to be out in the open, at least for the reader. The racial tensions are also timely and informative. The hatred for others is bitter and lethal, but even those who think they don’t hate find that they have prejudices too.
Another plus with this book are the people Melati meets along her journey. Tragedy and loss happens almost immediately, but Melati meets a person who treats her with dignity, respect, and kindness even when she doesn’t feel like it is deserved. She doesn’t think she is very capable of making friends, but even in the midst of the turmoil, there are moments of connection.
- Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2019Outstanding book, highly recommended.
I knew nothing about the strife between the Malay and Chinese in 1969 Malaysia. Melati is a compelling character and narrator, I couldn’t put this book down.
I can’t wait for Hanna Alkaf’s next book.
Spoiler Alert
This would be a five star book if it didn’t feel quite so rushed and neatly tied up at the end. These are my only quibbles.
Top reviews from other countries
- Faiq ShahromReviewed in India on March 2, 2020
4.0 out of 5 stars Good
Good product
- Syaza NazuraReviewed in the United Kingdom on May 19, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Not a light read, but you won't regret it.
This book depicts the life of an OCD Malay girl back in one of Malaysia's darkest, if not the darkest, days in history. The story starts off in a way that catches you off guard and every single word thereafter pulls you in and makes you feel like you never want to let go. A good read and Hanna touches wonderfully on the different aspects of life - of being kind to one another, of sacrifices, of accepting and loving each other, and of never-ending love.
- Zue Neisha FarhannahReviewed in Germany on April 4, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read book!
Such a lovely book. Made me feels so many feelings. It‘s been a long time since I felt this way. Pretty hard to put the book down.
- EmmyReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 6, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars “How do you expect unity to grow from seeds of self interest?”
Heavy read. Beautifully written.
- Katlin S.Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 7, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved the book
Beautiful story even though quite heavy.