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Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After Paperback – October 18, 2016

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,116 ratings

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And Then They Lived Happily…
 
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together.  But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment.  Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way. 
 
Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring.  Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of
Calling in "The One" and creator of the groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps:
Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom
Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart
Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist
Step 5: Create Your Happy
Even After Life
 
This paradigm-shifting guide will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that’s empowered and flourishing.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Katherine Woodward Thomas brings a gentle but fiercly powerful approach to what can otherwise be such a painful experience. Through Conscious Uncoupling, we can transform the deepest disappointment into a sacred journey from sorrow to peace.
--Marianne Williamson,
New York Times bestselling author of A Return to Love
 
 "During a breakup--a time that normally brings out the worst in us--Katherine Woodward Thomas takes us by the hand and helps us live in ways that are aligned with the highest and the best we have within us. With amazing clarity and depth, she’ll take the splinter out of your soul and support you to end your relationship in a way that leaves you, and those you care about, whole and complete rather than broken and damaged. I absolutely love this book!"
--Marci Shimoff,
New York Times Bestselling author of Happy for No Reason  
 
“Conscious Uncoupling is a kind and compassionate guide on how to overcome breakup grief and use it to transform and enrich your entire life. The process Katherine Woodward Thomas provides will not only help make your heart whole again, but will also ensure a positive, hopeful future for all involved. A paradigm-shifting book that promises to uplevel how we collectively do breakups moving forward.”
-- John Gray,
New York Times bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
 
“There is so much wisdom, heart, and humor in this book you’ll want to sleep with it under your pillow. Katherine communicates the real deal – you’ll see it immediately and breathe deeply for having such a friend on the path. Full of head, heart, body, and relational wisdom gathered from years of deep exploration, Conscious Uncoupling is the book that you’ve been looking for to guide you to true freedom. I loved it!”
--Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D.,
New York Times bestselling coauthor of Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After
 
"Before
Conscious Uncoupling we didn’t have a roadmap for how to turn the pain of a breakup into a genuine opportunity to recreate our life for the better. Now, thanks to Katherine Woodward Thomas’ brilliant and beautifully written manifesto, anyone going through the ending of a relationship has an opportunity to not only heal from heartache but to evolve human relationships, and thus humanity, to a new level. With her trademark wisdom and deep kindness, Katherine shares her well-tested 5-step process that will guide you through the storm to a brighter future than you ever imagined possible."
-- Claire Zammit, Founder, FemininePower.com
 
"Katherine Woodward Thomas is my relationship guru. Her wisdom and guidance helped me clear all blocks to romantic freedom.
Conscious Uncoupling will help you embrace the true meaning of forgiveness and restore your faith in love."
-- Gabrielle Bernstein,
New York Times bestselling author of Miracles Now
 
“Conscious Uncoupling is a powerful and groundbreaking process that provides a proven path to healing and wholeness from the devastation of heartbreak. From her decades of experience as a therapist and her personal story of divorce, Katherine Woodward Thomas reveals the transformative steps back to a life of love, freedom, and happiness.”
-- Arielle Ford, bestselling author of
The Soulmate Secret
 
“In Conscious Uncoupling, Katherine Woodward Thomas has created the definitive blueprint for how to complete a relationship in a way that leaves everyone honored and empowered. If you’re considering uncoupling, I suggest you run – not walk – to the nearest bookstore and start reading it today. You’ll discover that a graceful parting of the ways is doable even under the most extreme of circumstances. I find Katherine to be always on the leading edge of thought – and we are once again the beneficiaries of her brilliance.”
-- Debra Poneman, bestselling author and founder/CEO of Yes to Success, Inc.

"The book CONSCIOUS UNCOUPLING presents a sensible and very helpful five-step approach toward turning the tragedy of a breakup into a new healthy beginning instead of a wound that keeps festering."
 --John Gottman, author of
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work


“It’s a must read for the modern breakup.” 
--Goop.com


“Thomas proves herself compassionate and emotionally in-tune with the pain of love lost, and her guidance will likely usher many of those afflicted to a brighter, or at least less bitter, future.”
Publishers Weekly


"Katherine Woodward Thomas is as wise and intelligent as she is empathic and brave. Her knowledgeable, visionary and clear teachings have consistently represented empowerment and healing to so many, myself included. Her seer-like insight and her gentle yet unwaveringly leading-edge and applicable guidance holds our hands as we traverse the often debilitating territory of breakups and endings. I am so happy Katherine is on this planet."
--Alanis Morissette

About the Author

KATHERINE WOODWARD THOMAS, MA, MFT, is the author of the national bestseller Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, co-creator of the Calling in "The One" and Feminine Power online courses and certified coaches trainings, and creator of the Conscious Uncoupling five-step process, online course, and certified coaches training.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harmony; Reprint edition (October 18, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0553447017
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0553447019
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.1 x 0.69 x 7.9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,116 ratings

About the author

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Katherine Woodward Thomas
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Katherine Woodward Thomas is the New York Times Bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After and Calling in "The One:" 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life.

She is a licensed marriage & family therapist, an inspired speaker and transformative educator and an internationally recognized relationship expert who has trained and certified hundreds of people as coaches of her transformative work.

She is also a Billboard charting singer/songwriter who's CD, Lucky in Love went to no. 1 on the iTunes jazz charts when released in 2019.

To find out more please go to www.ConsciousUncoupling.com, www.KatherineWoodwardThomas.com or www.CallingInTheOne.com.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,116 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book helpful and insightful. They describe it as a wonderful, well-written love story that makes them feel free, happy, and whole. Readers appreciate the compassion, kindness, and generosity of the author. The pacing is described as eye-opening and educational, with a clear design and organization. It helps create a peaceful separation for both parties. Customers find the book comforting and supportive.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

64 customers mention "Advice"64 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's advice helpful and insightful. They say it helped them through the stages of a breakup, providing a valuable insight and personal growth experience. The exercises have profound implications, and the introduction is concise and humorous.

"...This book makes sense, has heart, and gives step by step writing prompts (also links for recordings,) to inquire deeply and with self-honesty into..." Read more

"...The quotes sprinkled throughout were inspirational, and I will be referencing this book in the future as it is not just applicable during a..." Read more

"...This book was a lifesaver for me, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling with endings, of any sort, and who is interested in..." Read more

"Interesting read - an author who writes very well; will be interesting to try some of her other books in the future; A recommended read" Read more

37 customers mention "Love story"37 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and compassionate. They say it's well-written and a seamless read.

"...This book makes sense, has heart, and gives step by step writing prompts (also links for recordings,) to inquire deeply and with self-honesty into..." Read more

"...Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas is a brilliant, insightful and compassionate book on how to move from heartache to..." Read more

"Interesting read - an author who writes very well; will be interesting to try some of her other books in the future; A recommended read" Read more

"An amazing read that helps humanity come up with better ways to end relationships with respect, understanding, and some love left for each..." Read more

12 customers mention "Compassion"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful in developing compassion and kindness. They appreciate the heart-based way to honor love. The book provides a powerful, heartfelt way to remember with no regrets.

"...from this often excruciating Life event, this book offers comfort, compassion, guidance and understanding. Best," Read more

"...by Katherine Woodward Thomas is a brilliant, insightful and compassionate book on how to move from heartache to healing, even triumph, after a..." Read more

"...Her examples and Five Step Process guide us to move forward with compassion, kindness and generosity...." Read more

"...The information in this book gives you a powerful, heart-based way to honor the love that you share with your partner and a practical way to change..." Read more

11 customers mention "Pacing"11 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's pacing good. They say it's eye-opening, educational, and beautifully written. The book is clearly designed and organized, offering guidance and perspective to help transmute relational pain.

"I felt heard, seen, and that I was not going mad with the intense emotions and thoughts which I was feeling...." Read more

"...a life coach while I was walking through these steps, but it is clearly designed and organized so that any reader can trek this path on his/her own...." Read more

"...She offers her brilliance and her light so that you can tune into your own heart and make your divorce (past or present) into a spiritual growth..." Read more

"...I’m so grateful for this beautiful book and how it gifted me a wealth of wisdom!" Read more

6 customers mention "Separation help"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful during separation. They say it helps create a peaceful separation and is inspiring.

"Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas is a brilliant, insightful and compassionate book on how to..." Read more

"...this twice and it was fundamental in helping create a kind and peaceful separation. Highly recommend" Read more

"Conscious Uncoupling is brilliant, inspiring and impactful...." Read more

"...The Consciously Uncoupling process (even 9 months after "the end") is opening me up to being a healthier, more alive person." Read more

4 customers mention "Readability"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read. They say it's a must-read for couples going through a breakup. Readers include both married and single people, with ages spanning from early twenties.

"...A must read for both sides of the relationship. It is possible to cut ties and still be civil." Read more

"...this book to at least twenty people: women and men, happily married and unhappily single, ages spanning from early twenties to early seventies –..." Read more

"...Its a must read." Read more

"Must read for couples going through a break up..." Read more

3 customers mention "Comfort"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book comforting and supportive. They say it offers compassion, guidance, and affirmation.

"...and grow from this often excruciating Life event, this book offers comfort, compassion, guidance and understanding. Best," Read more

"...So that was extremely comforting and affirming to me. I loved how it really made me look at my part!..." Read more

"Very helpful & supportive..." Read more

6 customers mention "Value for money"4 positive2 negative

Customers have different views on the book's value for money. Some say it's worth it and saves them money on counseling. Others find it not useful, overpriced, and not as groundbreaking as it claims to be.

"This book is GOLD...." Read more

"...The exercises are hokey and contrived and frankly not that useful, at least to me...." Read more

"...therapy is expensive, so this book and her online course is worth its weight in gold if it leaves you healthy, strong, authentic, loving and..." Read more

"...power of love as it's expressed through your book is worth its weight in gold, at the very least!" Read more

Everyone Divorced with Kids, MUST Read!
5 out of 5 stars
Everyone Divorced with Kids, MUST Read!
I have met and hosted a lot of authors including the ones who hold Guinness World Records for most books written and sold, and others who are NY Times Bestselling authors and yet others who have sold 10s of millions of copies of their books, but no one comes close to Katherine. In real life, she makes as much sense with the principles she shares in this book. The practical answers she gives are in sync with the books and training. Though admittedly, the language and form of explanation goes very deep in ideas. So if you're not there yet, just keep re-reading and listening like I did and eventually you'll get it and it will make all the sense in the world! My favorite quote of the author's in the picture.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on August 24, 2024
    I felt heard, seen, and that I was not going mad with the intense emotions and thoughts which I was feeling. This book makes sense, has heart, and gives step by step writing prompts (also links for recordings,) to inquire deeply and with self-honesty into the nuances of a relationship at it's end. It's organized in to 5 Steps. For those determined to heal and grow from this often excruciating Life event, this book offers comfort, compassion, guidance and understanding. Best,
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2024
    Well laid out steps for navigating an amicable divorce. The quotes sprinkled throughout were inspirational, and I will be referencing this book in the future as it is not just applicable during a marriage divorce.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2016
    Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas is a brilliant, insightful and compassionate book on how to move from heartache to healing, even triumph, after a relationship ends. It is a beautifully written and carefully thought-out treatise on how to move through dark and dissonant times to light and consonant times, and the author provides a very useful process using 5 steps to assist the reader on this journey of transformation. I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with a life coach while I was walking through these steps, but it is clearly designed and organized so that any reader can trek this path on his/her own. I loved everything about the book, but what made it stand out for me was the fact that the author provides various exercises to help the reader look deep within, to re-pattern, forgive, practice self-care, and more. We all know we can't learn to ski or meditate by reading a book, we have to do it, and Ms. Thomas provides the reader with ways to support him or her during this emergence and growth. I also greatly enjoyed the "words of wisdom" in little boxes in the margins of many pages, wisdom such as: "Your present circumstances don't determine where you go, they merely determine where you start" by Nido Qubein", or, "In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet" by Winston Churchill. This book was a lifesaver for me, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling with endings, of any sort, and who is interested in new beginnings. I hope everyone out there enjoys this gem as much as I did . . . thank you, Katharine Woodward Thomas for a brilliant book about transformation!
    20 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 7, 2023
    Interesting read - an author who writes very well; will be interesting to try some of her other books in the future; A recommended read
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2024
    An amazing read that helps humanity come up with better ways to end relationships with respect, understanding, and some love left for each other.
    I wish I read this book before my broken way of letting go. 😁
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2024
    This book is GOLD. Whether you are thinking of a divorce, breaking up with an old friend, or breaking up with yourself and how you are currently showing up in your unhealthy relationships, this book is for you. I loved it so much that I became a Certified Conscious Uncoupling Coach and can now share the medicine with my clients.
    7 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2017
    Brilliant. This step into the modern day realities that many, if not most of us, will someday leave a relationship that no longer suits one or both partners. I believe strongly in the idea of leaving all parties whole, healthy and happy as they entered the relationship. I am not gullible enough to believe that both partners are always in a place or space where they can come to the uncoupling party, but this book allows for that and the party who would like to move forward with peace, happiness and love to do so.

    I believe we area on to a new era. Where the reptilian brain does not have to win and people can resolve and respect one another despite their differences in moving forward.

    Please tell me that we are evolving into caring, loving beings and can allow for others and ALL to move forward in the best and healthiest way.
    4 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2019
    I bought this book because the author wrote the introduction to another book I was reading, Coming Apart: How to Heal Your Broken Heart Paperback by Daphne Rose Kingma. The introduction was short, to the point, funny, personal, and very relatable. However, I found the first half of this book to be the exact opposite on most of these things. A lot of this book focuses on anger and anger alone. I feel like it touches on a few other emotions, mentions them almost in passing but really focuses on anger.

    This first half of this book reminds me of the literature books I remember reading in high school. She writes about a simple subject for a page and a half and then uses a metaphor for two pages and then comes back and summarizes everything again. I find “Part One” of the book to be very bloated and repetitious.

    If you do choose to purchase this book because “Part Two” is actually helpful, I’d skip directly to “Part Two” and begin reading the 5 steps, which are very descriptive and helpful.

    Another issue I take with this book is the quotes. I understand a lot of folks benefit and find inspiration from quotes, but I would say over half the pages in the book have at least one quote, which turns from inspiration to major destruction for me.
    45 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

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  • Susan
    5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful roadmap for separation/divorce
    Reviewed in Canada on March 9, 2022
    This book is truly a gift to those navigating separation/divorce. Katherine’s words are supportive and compassionate but she also inspires you to do the deep work, accept responsibility for your part in the breakdown and to move past blame/shame. It’s an especially powerful read for those who have children in the relationship. Inspiring you to do what’s in the best interests of the family as a whole and create your happily even after story.
  • Gaia
    5.0 out of 5 stars If only more couples at the end of their shared journey read this...
    Reviewed in Germany on August 2, 2020
    This is so very helpful, particularly if you want to break up in a conscious and caring way, minimizing any collateral damage, but also if you have to get over a break up. Food for thought, many great suggestions, touching quotes, well written. Some of it is very spiritual (but not exceedingly esoteric, in my opinion).
  • Cliente de Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars El divorcio desde un proceso sano y reparador
    Reviewed in Mexico on July 28, 2018
    Excelente ! una forma sana y consciente de atravesar el proceso de divorcio, lo recomiendo mucho vale la pena leerlo
  • Newander
    5.0 out of 5 stars Anyone going through a break up...read this 💕
    Reviewed in Spain on October 5, 2018
    Super book with great advice how to get through a break up with kindness. Eye opening and so so relevant.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Moon
    5.0 out of 5 stars This is my favourite book so far in the space of relationships
    Reviewed in India on March 19, 2018
    This is my favourite book so far in the space of relationships, break-up/breakthrough, self-intimacy and healing! I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever had a breakup/heart-break.
    One person found this helpful
    Report