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Mom's House, Dad's House: Making two homes for your child Paperback – November 18, 1997

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 349 ratings

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Internationally renowned therapist, family expert and mediator Isolina Ricci, Ph.D. presents this definitive and newly updated guide to divorce and making shared custody work for parents and children.

The ground-breaking classic,
Mom’s House, Dad’s House, has become the standard for two generations of divorcing parents, and includes examples, self-tests, checklists, tools, and guidelines to help separated moms and dads with the legal, emotional, and financial issues they will encounter as they work to create happy and stable homes.

This comprehensive guide looks anew at the needs of all family members with creative options and common-sense advice, including:

* The map to a “decent divorce” and two happy homes
* Helping children of divorce with age-specific advice
* Negotiating Parental Agreements and custody arrangements
* Breaking away from “negative intimacy” with a difficult ex-husband or ex-wife
* Sidestepping destructive myths about divorce (and marriage)
* Handling long-distance parenting and parenting alone

With
Mom’s House, Dad’s House, parents will learn how to help their children heal and find a sense of continuity, security, and stability throughout the divorce process and in any custody situation.
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

According to the Stepfamily Association of America, 60 percent of all families are breaking up, and custody and visitation issues loom large in the lives of many parents. Isolina Ricci's Mom's House, Dad's House guides separated, divorced, and remarried parents through the hassles and confusions of setting up a strong, working relationship with the ex-spouse in order to make two loving homes for the kids. This expanded and revised edition (the book was originally published in 1980) includes emotional and legal tools, as well as many reference materials and resources. As one parent said of the first edition, "This book is my friend."

About the Author

Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., whose breakthrough work resulted in Mom's House, Dad's House, is an internationally renowned family expert, lecturer, award-winning mediator, and licensed family therapist who divides her time between consulting for family courts and working directly with families. She is the Director of the New Family Center in northern California.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Touchstone; 2nd ed. edition (November 18, 1997)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0684830787
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0684830780
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.1 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1.1 x 8.44 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 349 ratings

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Isolina Ricci
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Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., whose breakthrough work resulted in Mom's House, Dad's House, is an internationally renowned family expert, lecturer, award-winning mediator, and licensed family therapist who divides her time between consulting for family courts and working directly with families. She is the Director of the New Family Center in northern California.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
349 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book helpful and providing valuable information for divorcing parents. They find it a useful tool for picking out specific topics and making their lives less stressful. However, opinions differ on readability - some find it well-written and easy to read from cover to cover, while others find the writing dry and hard to follow.

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43 customers mention "Information quality"40 positive3 negative

Customers find the book helpful and insightful. They say it provides valuable information to make life less stressful and provide new insights and ideas. The advice is sound, helping readers be more productive and insightful parents.

"...difficulties in divorce, especially with children, and this book is practical, thoughtful, caring, but not overly indulgent in strong feelings...." Read more

"...convinced that this book -- both the philosophical angle and the practical examples -- helped us improve our working relationship and our daughter's..." Read more

"...It helps put things in perspective and keep parents who are struggling focused on what is best for the kids...." Read more

"This book taught me so much. Wish I would have read it sooner" Read more

6 customers mention "Readability"3 positive3 negative

Customers have different views on the book's readability. Some find it well-written and easy to read from cover to cover, with practical applications and a good tool for picking out specific topics. Others say the writing is dry and hard to follow, making it hard to read all the way through.

"It seems like the author has thought out everything that is in the child's best interests...." Read more

"...I gave it four stars instead of five because the writing is pretty dry making the book a bit hard to get through." Read more

"...our "kids" will be the final judge as to Ms. Ricci's well-written and practical applications." Read more

"It was hard to read all the way through this, and I recommend skipping chapters that are too emotional or not relevant at the time...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2014
    I found this book to be an incredibly helpful and practical guide to navigating divorce with children. There are so many strong emotions and difficulties in divorce, especially with children, and this book is practical, thoughtful, caring, but not overly indulgent in strong feelings. The author acknowledges that it is difficult, but then gets down to the business of how to arrange a life where the parents live in separate homes. She gives good guidance on how to handle it if parents are getting along and cooperating, but also if one parent is being more difficult. I would recommend this as essential reading to any family facing separation and divorce, as a way to put the children first throughout the process and make arrangements that make the transition as smooth as possible.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2013
    I had read the first edition of this book when I was newly separated (1985!) and shared it with my "daughter's father." (That's one of the author's excellent recommendations -- this terminology reflects the most important aspect of the relationship with the soon-to-be-ex's relationship: the parent of your children.) I'm convinced that this book -- both the philosophical angle and the practical examples -- helped us improve our working relationship and our daughter's experience as a result of our divorce. Since that time, I have purchased and given copies (some of each edition) to other parents that I felt would take this advice to heart, and several have expressed appreciation for the ideas that they found in it. I highly recommend it!
    8 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2024
    The media could not be loaded.
    The court, your lawyer or therapist will probably make you read it - just get it now. Good read. Well organized by chapter. You’ll get something out ofnit regardless of experience and knowledge
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2015
    Although I haven't finished the book, it's given me a new perspective on language to incorporate when talking with my child. I was looking for something to help me communicate more effectively so that transition through divorce could be as easier when dealing with 2 homes. So far, I really like what this book has to offer. We as parents sometimes know what we want to say but don't use the best verbage. This is so helpful to anyone struggling in this kind of situation.
    8 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 8, 2014
    This is a must have book for families going through divorce. It helps put things in perspective and keep parents who are struggling focused on what is best for the kids. Even now, 12 years after my divorce, my ex-husband and his family come to family gatherings as we define ourselves still as one big family. Note that I am now remarried and we have 5 boys that live with us all of the time. My husband accepts this approach as well. We are often told we are unique in our ability to act as one unit and I can say this book set the stage for that then- and still does.
    10 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 27, 2023
    This book taught me so much. Wish I would have read it sooner
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2018
    A bit sexist in how it presents good ideas and advice particularly in this day when we are supposed to be equal. It can get a bit irritating to read through the unconscious bias toward fathers to get to the good advice, but once found that advice is sound.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2019
    I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy but this book helped put things in perspective and gave good advice on things to follow and tell your kids. You can only hope your ex will read and follow it too but if not there are things to do to help your own sanity and still help your kids as much as you can on your own.

Top reviews from other countries

  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for parents going through separation/divorce
    Reviewed in Canada on March 7, 2018
    Great book with a lot of valuable tools and suggestions. Well written, easy to read and comprehend. The author did a great job of equipping parents with the tools they will need when going through a separation or divorce.
  • michel laflamme
    5.0 out of 5 stars Très utile et pratique pour les parents des familles déchirées ...
    Reviewed in Canada on September 6, 2017
    Très utile et pratique pour les parents des familles déchirées. Couvre toute la gamme de ce qui se passe lors de ce processus difficile. Donne de l'espoir dans un temps où il ne semble plus en avoir.
  • Mr. Griffer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Worth the read
    Reviewed in Canada on December 12, 2019
    Good book with some helpful content
  • Mer Crawford
    5.0 out of 5 stars Lawyer recommended
    Reviewed in Canada on September 28, 2023
    As a family lawyer I refer my clients to this book
  • WendyB
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    Reviewed in Canada on March 10, 2015
    Great book for newly separated parents.