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Survivor: A Novel Kindle Edition
"Brilliantly satiric and savagely funny, Survivor is a wild amphetamine ride through the vagaries of fame and the nature of belief." —San Francisco Chronicle
Tender Branson—last surviving member of the Creedish Death Cult—is dictating his life story into the recorder of Flight 2039, cruising on autopilot at 39,000 feet somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. He is all alone in the airplane, which will crash shortly into the vast Australian outback. But before it does, Branson will unfold the tale of his journey from an obedient Creedish child and humble domestic servant to an ultra-buffed, steroid- and collagen-packed media messiah.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherW. W. Norton & Company
- Publication dateMarch 21, 2011
- File size531 KB
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Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Speaking of little black boxes, Skinnerians would have a field day with the presenting behavior of the folks who make up Palahniuk's world. They pretend they're suicide hotline operators for fun. They eat lobster before it's quite... done. They dance in morgues. The Cleavers they are not. Scary as they might be, these characters are ultimately more scared of themselves than you are, and that's what makes them so fascinating. In the wee hours and on lonely highways, they exist in a perpetual twilight, caught between the horror of the present and the dread of the unknown. With only two novels under his belt, Chuck Palahniuk is well on his way to becoming an expert at shining a light on these shadowy creatures. --Bob Michaels
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Kirkus Reviews
Review
From the Inside Flap
"A turbo-charged, deliciously manic satire of contemporary American life." --Newsday
"The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage," according to the "been there, done that" wisdom of Tender Branson, last surviving member of the Creedish Death Cult. At the opening of Chuck Palahniuk's hilariously unnerving second novel, Tender is cruising on autopilot, 39,000 feet up, dictating the whole of his life story into Flight 2039's "black box" in the final moments before crashing into the vast Australian outback.
Not since Kurt Vonnegut's Mother Night has there been as dark and telling a satire on the wages of fame and the bedrock lunacy of the modern world. Wickedly incisive and mesmerizing, Survivor is Chuck Palahniuk at his deadpan peak.
From the Back Cover
"A wild amphetamine ride through the vagaries of fame and the nature of belief."--The San Francisco Chronicle
"Convoluted, maniacally comic, partaking deeply of the America that streams towrd us in the dead of night from the cable channels--that place of outrageous expectation, slavish idolatry, fanatic consumerism, and mind-stopping banality." --Sven Birkerts, Esquire
About the Author
Chuck Palahniuk has been a nationally bestselling author since his first novel, 1996's Fight Club, was made into the acclaimed David Fincher film of the same name. Twelve of his works have made the New York Times bestsellers list, and his work has sold millions of copies worldwide.
Michael Braun is an actor and voice artist, born and raised in New York City. Since graduating from the Yale School of Drama, he has performed in many productions in New York and across the country, including War Horse on Broadway, and The Winter's Tale at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. His television and film credits include The Good Wife, Nurse Jackie, Law & Order, and Dare. He is a recipient of the Princess Grace Award and the Herschell Williams Prize for Acting.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Testing, testing. One, two, three. Testing, testing. One, two, three.
Maybe this is working. I don't know. If you can even hear me, I don't know.
But if you can hear me, listen. And if you're listening, then what you've found is the story of everything that went wrong. This is what you'd call the flight recorder of Flight 2039. The black box, people call it, even though it's orange, and on the inside is a loop of wire that's the permanent record of all that's left. What you've found is the story of what happened.
And go ahead.
You can heat this wire to white-hot, and it will still tell you the exact same story.
Testing, testing. One, two, three.
And if you're listening, you should know right off the bat the passengers are at home, safe. The passengers, they did what you'd call their deplaning in the New Hebrides Islands. Then, after it was just him and me back in the air, the pilot parachuted out over somewhere. Some kind of water. What you'd call an ocean.
I'm going to keep saying it, but it's true. I'm not a murderer.
And I'm alone up here.
The Flying Dutchman.
And if you're listening to this, you should know that I'm alone in the cockpit of Flight 2039 with a whole crowd of those little childsized bottles of mostly dead vodka and gin lined up on the place you sit at against the front windows, the instrument panel. In the cabin, the little trays of everybody's Chicken Kiev or Beef Stroganoff entrees are half eaten with the air conditioner cleaning up any leftover food smell. Magazines are still open to where people were reading. With all the seats empty, you could pretend everyone's just gone to the bathroom. Out of the plastic stereo headsets you can hear a little hum of prerecorded music.
Up here above the weather, it's just me in a Boeing 747-400 time capsule with two hundred leftover chocolate cake desserts and an upstairs piano bar which I can just walk up to on the spiral staircase and mix myself another little drink.
God forbid I should bore you with all the details, but I'm on autopilot up here until we run out of gas. Flame out, the pilot calls it. One engine at a time, each engine will flame out, he said. He wanted me to know just what to expect. Then he went on to bore me with a lot of details about jet engines, the venturi effect, increasing lift by increasing camber with the flaps, and how after all four engines flame out the plane will turn into a 450,000-pound glider. Then since the autopilot will have it trimmed out to fly in a straight line, the glider will begin what the pilot calls a controlled descent.
That kind of a descent, I tell him, would be nice for a change. You just don't know what I've been through this past year.
Under his parachute, the pilot still had on his nothing special blah-colored uniform that looked designed by an engineer. Except for this, he was really helpful. More helpful than I'd be with someone holding a pistol to my head and asking about how much fuel was left and how far would it get us. He told me how I could get the plane back up to cruising altitude after he'd parachuted out over the ocean. And he told me all about the flight recorder.
The four engines are numbered one through four, left to right.
The last part of the controlled descent will be a nosedive into the ground. This he calls the terminal phase of the descent, where you're going thirty-two feet per second straight at the ground. This he calls terminal velocity, the speed where objects of equal mass all travel at the same speed. Then he slows everything down with a lot of details about Newtonian physics and the Tower of Pisa.
He says, "Don't quote me on any of this. It's been a long time since I've been tested."
He says the APU, the Auxiliary Power Unit, will keep generating electricity right up to the moment the plane hits the ground.
You'll have air-conditioning and stereo music, he says, for as long as you can feel anything.
The last time I felt anything, I tell him, was a ways back. About a year ago.
Top priority for me is getting him off this plane so I can finally set down my gun.
I've clenched this gun so long I've lost all feeling.
What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your hostages just long enough so you can use the bathroom.
Before we touched down in Port Vila, I was running all over the cabin with my gun, trying to get the passengers and crew fed. Did they need a fresh drink? Who needed a pillow? Which did they prefer, I was asking everybody, the chicken or the beef? Was that decaf or regular?
Food service is the only skill where I really excel. The problem was all this meal service and rushing around had to be one-handed, of course, since I had to keep ahold of the gun.
When we were on the ground and the passengers and crew were deplaning, I stood at the forward cabin door and said, I'm sorry. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please have a safe and enjoyable trip and thank you for flying Blah-Blah Airlines.
When it was just the pilot and me left on board, we took off again.
The pilot, just before he jumps, he tells me how when each engine fails, an alarm will announce Flame Out in Engine Number One or Three or whichever, over and over. After all the engines are gone, the only way to keep flying will be to keep the nose up. You just pull back on the steering wheel. The yoke, he calls it. To move what he calls the elevators in the tail. You'll lose speed, but keep altitude. It will look like you have a choice, speed or height, but either way you're still going to nose-dive into the ground.
That's enough, I tell him, I'm not getting what you'd call a pilot's license. I just need to use the toilet like nobody's business. I just want him out that door.
Then we slow to 175 knots. Not to bore you with the details, but we drop to under 10,000 feet and pull open the forward cabin door. Then the pilot's gone, and even before I shut the cabin door, I stand at the edge of the doorway and take a leak after him.
Nothing in my life has ever felt that good.
If Sir Isaac Newton was right, this wouldn't be a problem for the pilot on his way down.
So now I'm flying west on autopilot at mach 0.83 or 455 miles per hour, true airspeed, and at this speed and latitude the sun is stuck in one place all the time. Time is stopped. I'm flying above the clouds at a cruising altitude of 39,000 feet, over the Pacific Ocean, flying toward disaster, toward Australia, toward the end of my life story, straight line southwest until all four engines flame out.
Testing, testing. One, two, three.
One more time, you're listening to the flight recorder of Flight 2039.
And at this altitude, listen, and at this speed, with the plane empty, the pilot says there are six or maybe seven hours of fuel left.
So I'll try to make this quick.
The flight recorder will record my every word in the cockpit. And my story won't get bashed into a zillion bloody shreds and then burned with a thousand tons of burning jet. And after the plane wrecks, people will hunt down the flight recorder. And my story will survive.
Testing, testing. One, two, three.
It was just before the pilot jumped, with the cabin door pulled inside and the military ships shadowing us, with the invisible radar tracking us, in the open doorway with the engines shrieking and the air howling past, the pilot stood there in his parachute and yelled, "So why do you want to die so bad?"
And I yelled back for him to be sure and listen to the tape.
"Then remember," he yelled. "You have only a few hours. And remember," he yelled, "you don't know exactly when the fuel will run out. There's always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story."
And I yelled, So what else is new?
And, Tell me something I don't know.
And the pilot jumped. I took a leak, then I pushed the cabin door back into place. In the cockpit, I push the throttle forward and pull the yoke back until we fly high enough. All that's left to do is press the button and the autopilot takes charge. That brings us back to right here.
So if you're listening to this, the indestructible black box of Flight 2039, you can go look and see where this plane ended its terminal descent and what's left. You'll know I'm not a pilot after you see the mess and the crater. If you're listening to this, you know that I'm dead.
And I have a few hours to tell my story here.
So I figure there's maybe a chance I'll get this story right.
Testing, testing. One, two, three.
The sky is blue and righteous in every direction. The sun is total and burning and just right there in front. We're on top of the clouds, and this is a beautiful day forever.
So let's us take it from the top. Let me start at the start.
Flight 2039, here's what really happened. Take one.
And.
Just for the record, how I feel right now is very terrific.
And.
I've already wasted ten minutes.
And.
Action.
From AudioFile
Product details
- ASIN : B004SOBLIE
- Publisher : W. W. Norton & Company; Reissue edition (March 21, 2011)
- Publication date : March 21, 2011
- Language : English
- File size : 531 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 294 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #416,029 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #240 in Literary Satire Fiction
- #566 in Humorous Literary Fiction
- #986 in Dark Humor
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Chuck Palahniuk's nine novels are the bestselling Snuff, Rant, Haunted, Lullaby and Fight Club, which was made into a film by director David Fincher, Diary, Survivor, Invisible Monsters, and Choke, which was made into a film by director Clark Gregg. He is also the author of the non-fiction profile of Portland Fugitives and Refugees and the non-fiction collection Stranger Than Fiction. He lives in the Pacific Northwest.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers enjoyed the book's story and found it exciting and interesting. They found the humor funny and entertaining, with satire and heart. The writing style was described as great, fluent, and detailed. The characters were described as interesting and well-developed. Overall, customers found the book thought-provoking and captivating.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers enjoy the book's story. They find it exciting, interesting, and inventive. The ending is described as clever and fantastic.
"...say that while he is not my favorite writer he is one of the most intriguing, original and engrossing novelists working today, and it is a pleasure..." Read more
"This is a really great book, and interestingly weird in a "I can't put this down even though I have work in 3 hours" way...." Read more
"...The greatness that lies within this terrific read is that you cannot predict what's going to happen next. Read the novel and take the trip." Read more
"...In terms of my taste, this book is an average read that I wouldn't really say anything bad about, but that I also would not necessarily recommend to..." Read more
Customers enjoy the humor in the book. They find it a funny and entertaining read with sharp dialogue and satire. The main character is described as cruel yet humorous. It's an imaginative and engaging novel for adults.
"...halftime riots only make up a small yet essential part of this wildly entertaining and completely original tale of one man's journey from outcast to..." Read more
"...Tender suspects it to be his estranged twin brother. Definitely a fun read & his books are always worth reading, especially if you appreciate dark..." Read more
"...and dialogue is so crisp, so sharp, so dark, and yet so funny and entertaining all at the same time. The writing is so original an groundbreaking...." Read more
"...It has the same dark humor that I openly laughed out loud at; thankfully when you are reading, no one knows exactly what you find so amusing...." Read more
Customers enjoy the writing style. They find the book easy to read with a clear narrative and dialogue. The author's voice is unique and enjoyable, making it an intriguing read that makes them want to read more from the author.
"...favorite writer he is one of the most intriguing, original and engrossing novelists working today, and it is a pleasure to read any and everything..." Read more
"...Chuck Palahniuk is hilarious and creative; definitely give him a try." Read more
"...This is strongly my opinion and nothing more. The narration and dialogue is so crisp, so sharp, so dark, and yet so funny and entertaining all at..." Read more
"This book was clever and well written and I think the characters were developed and personified very well...." Read more
Customers find the characters interesting and well-developed. They appreciate the author's unique storytelling style and twisted imagination. The main character is described as humorous, cruel, and insightful.
"...and interesting ideas, and his stories are filled with great, issue-riddled characters...." Read more
"This book was clever and well written and I think the characters were developed and personified very well...." Read more
"...There supporting characters are better than in fight club they are more every day than realistic than those of fight club...." Read more
"...- Characters became annoying 1/4 of the way through and just got worse from there, ESPECIALLY the main guy...." Read more
Customers find the book thought-provoking and engaging. They appreciate the author's unique perspective and imaginative writing style. The book offers a darkly humorous look at life with interesting ideas and commentary on key themes.
"...for me, but I must say that even I was floored with how impressively captivating this novel really was...." Read more
"...I love this author, he has super random and interesting ideas, and his stories are filled with great, issue-riddled characters...." Read more
"...They story was also interesting with some major commentary on key themes in humanity such as religion, fame, sex, and mental health...." Read more
"...a great job of really establishing a tone for the story and sparking an intial flair to get the reader really interested early on...." Read more
Customers have different views on the pacing of the book. Some find it picks up speed with each chapter, making it a quick read with an easy to follow storyline. Others feel it starts out slow and almost loses them before picking up speed.
"...I liked the style of writing and because of that, this was a quick read for me...." Read more
"...Like most of Chuck's works, this book picks up more and more speed with each chapter...." Read more
"I found the story style hard to follow and read...." Read more
"...Starts hot to hook you, and then slows a bit to let the plot simmer. As your're anxiously reading, more twists & developments further hook you in...." Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the tone of the book. Some find it funny and entertaining, while others feel it's disturbing at times and difficult to return to consistently over a longer period.
"...The narration and dialogue is so crisp, so sharp, so dark, and yet so funny and entertaining all at the same time...." Read more
"The beginning of Survivor really sets a very dark, sad and original tone, with the Tender Branson ultra loser, ultra isolated character...." Read more
"...the book was great and I am only giving it three stars because it was so dark and disturbing at points that it was a little sad, which is not really..." Read more
"Dark and hilarious like just about everything else he's written. Haunting and irresistibly page turning...." Read more
Customers find the plot improbable and bizarre, but entertaining. They say the story doesn't hold together well, is dark, and abruptly ends.
"The plot of the book is improbable, but it is entertaining. The author presents one interesting insights into the human condition." Read more
"...The book starts at the ending....which is retarded. I like surprises and twists in my book and if you start with the end, you ruin it...." Read more
"...But this book really spoke to me. Sick, twisted, and funny as hell. Choke and Fight Club were decent, but this book is just over any expectations...." Read more
"...Characters start to seem similar, plots seem somewhat stale and recycled and an overall sense of deja-vu tends to overrun the work...." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on May 19, 2009Suicide death cults, psychics, mass murderers and Super Bowl halftime riots only make up a small yet essential part of this wildly entertaining and completely original tale of one man's journey from outcast to celebrity. Leave it to Chuck Palahniuk to paint such an intriguing and twisted tale. I've been a fan of his for some time now, so my adoration of this novel wasn't much of a surprise for me, but I must say that even I was floored with how impressively captivating this novel really was. I remember back when I was first getting into Palahniuk. This particular novel didn't seem to strike me very much; I actually thought it sounded rather boring. Instead I read `Invisible Monsters' and `Choke' and `Diary' and I became more and more intrigued at just what this man was capable of. Chuck is the type of author that can astonish even when his novel is less than brilliant. Even the likes of `Choke' and `Diary', his two least effective novels for me (I have yet to read `Snuff' though) completely captivated me and still linger in my subconscious; so it's safe to say that he is above and beyond talented and remarkably memorable.
So that brings me to `Survivor'. I don't know if you know this about me yet (I've mentioned this in a few reviews) but I am definitely a `mood reader' or whatever you want to call it. What I mean is that I like to try and put myself in the atmosphere best suited to the novel I am reading. When I read `Blindness' I read it in the dark, only at night, with a flashlight shone solely on my book. I wanted to feel the blindness surrounding me. When I read Ballard's `Crash' I read it in my car on my lunch breaks. I had to feel the confined spaces which permeated the novel. So, with `Survivor', I read it in an airplane on my way to vacation this past week.
I mean, when a novel opens with a man hijacking an aircraft only to record his personal life story and then plummet to the ground in a horrific plane crash, where else are you going to read it?
One thing that I've found about Palahniuk as an author is that to review his novels in any real detail does him, and the eventual reader, a huge disservice. It makes things very hard for me, because if you've read any of my reviews you know that I like to talk; a lot. I have a lot to say about just about everything I watch and or read and or listen to, so same goes for `Survivor'. For your sake though, and for respect of the author, I'll keep this brief.
In my opening paragraph I mentioned that the whole `cult, psychic, murder' thing was small part of the story, and I know many people reading this that have read the novel will be quick to scream "no, it's the whole shebang", but the thing is; this novel is about something much bigger than that. `Survivor', first and foremost, is a social commentary unveiling the ugly truth behind the media circus that is celebrity. The truth that lies behind `Survivor' is that anyone can become a celebrity whether they want to or not, and if you will make someone else rich then you better be prepared to find for you life because you will quickly become nothing more than a puppet in a sick and twisted world of fame.
As fabricated and far-fetched as `Survivor', and really just about any of Palahniuk's novels may seem, there is a blatant honesty that permeates each page.
I've read just about everything Mr. Palahniuk has written (I'm halfway through `Rant' and have yet to read `Snuff', `Haunted' or his latest `Pygmy') and I can honestly say that while he is not my favorite writer he is one of the most intriguing, original and engrossing novelists working today, and it is a pleasure to read any and everything he puts out there. `Survivor' is without doubt one of his best works and is a must-read for any fan.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 29, 2017This is a really great book, and interestingly weird in a "I can't put this down even though I have work in 3 hours" way. I love this author, he has super random and interesting ideas, and his stories are filled with great, issue-riddled characters. This particular book, Surviver, stars the last remaining member of a Creedish cult. His name is Tender, and he begins the book by informing the reader that he has just hijacked a plane and will be reciting his life story into the black box, to ensure that it survives an impending crash into the Australian Outback. It then takes you back in time to the beginning. Through a newspaper typo, he has acquired a suicide hotline, through which he indirectly meets a prophetic dreamer. They start a strange adventure together after someone begins offing the last remaining cult survivers. Tender suspects it to be his estranged twin brother. Definitely a fun read & his books are always worth reading, especially if you appreciate dark humor. Chuck Palahniuk is hilarious and creative; definitely give him a try.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2002"Testing, testing. One, two three. Maybe this thing is working. I don't know. If you can even hear me, I don't know."
Tender Branson is on an airplane all by himself, cruising on autopilot at about 39,000 feet above the ground. The only other thing on the plane is the black box, which he is planning to recite his life story into it, so there are no mistakes about his life when he is found dead. So nobody calls him a monster, or a murderer.
What he is about to reveal is his life in the so-called Creedish Death Cult, and how he came about to being the last survivor Twisted and unpredictable events land him into the spotlight, bringing unexpected fame and recognition in this hilarious and dark satire, "Survivor." Chuck Palahniuk strikes once again, bringing life and wickedness to this wildly entertaining novel. You are about to find out all about Tender Branson, and all of the things that had happened to him, leading up to where he is now, alone on the plane, and ready to face death. Although according to his daily planner, he should probably be cleaning one of his many employers' houses, or telling them how to eat a lobster the right way. This novel will stun you from start to finish, and will never let go of you until the final sentence.
As impossible as I would've thought, I actually enjoyed this novel more than "Fight Club," and that is one of my favorite books. This book had me laughing aloud in so many parts and so many places. I think it's a much better novel than "Fight Club." I know not many people will agree with me, that is fine. This is strongly my opinion and nothing more. The narration and dialogue is so crisp, so sharp, so dark, and yet so funny and entertaining all at the same time. The writing is so original an groundbreaking. To think that I used to hate first-person narrations. Palahniuk is a very impressive author, and is able to show us that he isn't afraid to tackle on issues that may be frowned upon by others. This is a great satire that takes a bitter look at fame and organized religion. It also proves to be a much more funnier novel than "Fight Club," or at least I think so.
It is so refreshing to come upon a talented author, such as Palahniuk. This is by far one of my new favorite books, and I have just got done reading it for the second time. You'll be sad when you finish it, but will be excited to re-read it. "Survivor" is a magnificent and unforgiving tale of fame, religion, and superstardom. Take nothing for granted and expect the unexpected. Once you start, you cannot stop reading.
I must go now, because according to my daily planner, I'm supposed to be somewhere else and try to better myself as a human being. Besides, I don't want to give too much away. The greatness that lies within this terrific read is that you cannot predict what's going to happen next. Read the novel and take the trip.
Top reviews from other countries
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Ernesto N.Reviewed in Mexico on May 25, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente compra
El libro esta impecable, y la ediciòn es muy bonita
-
Leo NavisReviewed in Germany on September 17, 2021
5.0 out of 5 stars Gruselfaktor
Echt geniales Buch. Hab von Chuck auch schon Choke und Fight Club gelesen, und wurde auch diesmal nicht enttäuscht. Hat mich schnell in seinen Bann genommen und dann nicht mehr losgelassen bis ich's durch hatte. Sehr zu empfehlen.
- Kenny JulienReviewed in France on May 15, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Survivor is a satirical novel by Chuck Palahniuk
In the book, every member of the Creedish Cult learns how to be a servant for the human race—most of them are butlers and maids—and fear most human pleasures. They await a sign from God to tell them to deliver themselves unto Him; that is, they must commit suicide.
The sign finally comes, and a good ten years later, Tender becomes the last surviving member of the cult. He is thrown into mainstream culture and becomes a personal icon for many people.
- SomanReviewed in India on March 17, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Chuck never disappoints!
The story thematically presents a foray into what I believe to be the standard progression of an individual's status from an outcast to an outcast cult celebrity. What makes it different from your regular fiction novel is how it brings the underlying money grabbing objective of a cult to the forefront. Another Palahniuk classic!
- Amazon CustomerReviewed in Australia on July 1, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Good
Good