This is my first book review and I had to write something….. This book by far has been more valuable than any self-help book I have ever read in my life! Unlike self-help books however, it doesn’t justify poor behavior, or jump on the low self-esteem or addiction band wagons… it simply explains a growing societal problem and its impact on building stable social relationships. If you are a person who constantly, worries or concerns themselves with the quality and quantity of your relationships and what you may or may not be doing wrong this book is for you. If you find yourself frequently on the receiving end of aggression, bullies, negativity, people that don’t understand NO, rudeness, or your kindness being mistaken for weakness this is the book for you. If you have any moral fabric, prescribe to any type of spiritual balance in your life, and get met with resistance at attempts to compromise this is the book for you! I could go on singing its praises but I will simply say read this book!
This has to be the most well put, to the point, straight no chaser, quick succinct book on significantly character flawed persons and their behaviors. This book doesn’t blame, shame, or judge anyone. It clearly states something most people have always felt in their guts but ignored when dealing with certain people i.e. they are aware of what they are doing they simply don't care or don't care enough to behave diffrent.... this behavior is a well-known phenomenon in our society that has been growing over the past 20 years….the encouraging and dismissing of social deviance. The outcome from that trend is impaired or absent character/aggressive manipulative individuals who have chosen to operate as such in their day to day life. This book doesn’t just dump everyone in silos of black and white thinking or claim mental illness it gives you the extremes and every one in between! In most cases if you are a conscientious person and respect the rights of others, and expect the same in return there’s a good change you have been blindsided by quite a few of these individuals as family, friends, coworkers, or just as casual acquaintances. For the first time all the behaviors I have seen in my life that never made any sense to me why anyone would mistreat, behave poorly, callously, or inappropriately with very little remorse or concern for the impact on another made perfect sense after I read this book.
The book even addressed in the final chapters how to "handle" these individuals very clearly….in short arm yourself with information and take the rose colored glasses off! The author gives clear ways to arm / become aware of “signs” of manipulative tactics. It’s no different than any other area in life….For example: If I want to be a better driver I learn defensive driving after regular drivers training principles so I’m more adept at how to handle the uncertainties on the highway. If I want to advance my education and job opportunities after high school I go to college or develop a trade that assists with my marketability…Same principles apply to human interactions.... Some of us were raised as and continue to raise children with morals but as we grow we can develop ways of interacting that make us basically “marks” for manipulative people.
Manipulative people have chosen to relate in a destructive manner period…and if you are unable to “adapt” and become aware of their existence then you will suffer from the inevitable skid marks in life when they run you over and throw you under the bus instead of learning to get out their way when they come down the street.
Now I’m not saying this book says to always “avoid” people like this. This book gives many examples of people adapting but mostly they are close family relationships with destructive manipulative individuals. I’m only assuming most of these cases did not "desire" to separate from these individuals. But if you are like me a single person wondering why limit setting and boundaries and all the other psychobabble we are taught to say and to do is ineffective and useless on some people who we try to maintain relationships or friendships with, well then, this book will make everything more clear. I will admit you may find as I did that you may have adapted some unhealthy or manipulative ways of interacting as well do to exposure to these persons. So if you want to fully benefit from this book have a willingness to focus on your own boundaries and behaviors because manipulative people are the same with EVERYBODY not just so called "nice folks" but nice folks get the most abuse because we refuse to accept what we see before us.
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Buy it!!
If You are even considering buying the book, just do it! I have read very many self-help books, plus I am a member of 12 step programs, and this book by far offers hands-down the most life-changing skills I have seen in any one single text. It is also very practical and I was able to use tools presented in this text to empower myself immediately.
Top reviews from other countries
Angry Bird
Character not Personality
Reviewed in the Netherlands on October 8, 2023Maggie Robinson
I understand now
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 2, 2023Customer0xF5
Empower yourself - manipulative people are everywhere
Reviewed in Germany on July 14, 2020