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The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters Kindle Edition

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 3,251 ratings

"Hosts of all kinds, this is a must-read!" --Chris Anderson, owner and curator of TED
 
From the host of the New York Times podcast 
Together Apart, an exciting new approach to how we gather that will transform the ways we spend our time together—at home, at work, in our communities, and beyond.

In 
The Art of Gathering, Priya Parker argues that the gatherings in our lives are lackluster and unproductive--which they don't have to be. We rely too much on routine and the conventions of gatherings when we should focus on distinctiveness and the people involved. At a time when coming together is more important than ever, Parker sets forth a human-centered approach to gathering that will help everyone create meaningful, memorable experiences, large and small, for work and for play.

Drawing on her expertise as a facilitator of high-powered gatherings around the world, Parker takes us inside events of all kinds to show what works, what doesn't, and why. She investigates a wide array of gatherings--conferences, meetings, a courtroom, a flash-mob party, an Arab-Israeli summer camp--and explains how simple, specific changes can invigorate any group experience.

The result is a book that's both journey and guide, full of exciting ideas with real-world applications. 
The Art of Gathering will forever alter the way you look at your next meeting, industry conference, dinner party, and backyard barbecue--and how you host and attend them.
Popular Highlights in this book

Editorial Reviews

Review

“A long overdue and urgent manifesto.” —Seth Godin

The Art of Gathering is one of the most transformative books I’ve read in years. It has fundamentally changed I how run meetings, attend conferences, and even arrange dinner with friends. Equally important, it has reminded me why people come together in the first place — and why we should treat every gathering as an opportunity to deepen our shared humanity.” —Daniel H. Pink, author of When and Drive

“As social animals, humans gather, meet, and bond—seeking meaning, purpose, creative expression, and more. In almost all cases this is an unconscious process leading to subtle frustration and a lack of satisfaction. For the last few years I’ve avoided social gatherings because I find them meaningless and banal. I learned much from this book. Priya Parker has created both an art and a science to gathering in ways that can bring joy and fulfillment to any meeting.” —Deepak Chopra  

“[A] remarkable new book about how we spend our time together, at work, at home, and beyond. If you want to get more out of every event, whether it's with your boss and co-workers or friends and family,
The Art of Gathering can help.” —Bustle

“[A] fantastic book . . . . Good things happen when people connect. Especially when we follow Priya’s sage advice.” —
Forbes

“Enthusiastically delivered formulas for better get-togethers… useful to those whose job it is to plan meetings, conferences, and the like and a worthy survival manual for consumers of the same.” —
Kirkus Reviews

“This clear and engaging book sets down many things you
thought you knew, until you find yourself remembering that you did not attend to its simple rules at the last significant event you hosted.… A passion for successful encounters enlivens every page.” —Sherry Turkle, author of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age and Alone Together

“We’re more connected than ever. But it doesn’t really feel that way. We talk on the phone less than we used to, but we spend more time in front of screens, or plugged into earbuds. We’re constantly interacting, but not always communicating on a meaningful level. We’re busy, but we’re not often getting a lot done. Priya Parker aims to change that. In her new book 
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, Parker sets out to make our lives more productive, and our interactions more meaningful.” —Debbie Millman, Design Matters

“A brilliant and eminently practical guide!
The Art of Gathering will open your eyes to just how often we gather – and how we can turn those mundane events into dazzling opportunities for meaning, dreaming, and doing.  This book should be mandatory reading for everyone from the business executive to the community activist, the conflict resolution specialist to the dinner host.  Concrete advice that will forever change the way you gather.” —Daniel L. Shapiro, founder of the Harvard International Negotiation Program and author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable

“Don't read this book alone. Read it at a gathering of friends, in a book club, with a team of colleagues, or on a family reunion. But read it—for its wisdom, its charm, its insight, and its ability to make every encounter with others more meaningful and enjoyable.
The Art of Gathering is a book long overdue, and just in time.” —Bruce Feiler, bestselling author of The Secrets of Happy Families and Walking the Bible  “Many of the best things in life happen when people gather. So it’s remarkable how little conscious intent goes into planning such moments. Thank goodness for this book. It opens up new ways of thinking about wonderful gatherings with a delicious confection of smartly-defined concepts and detailed examples. Hosts of all kinds, this is a must-read!” —Chris Anderson, owner and curator of TED

“Priya Parker's 
The Art of Gathering is brilliant. The book is a timely reminder: It’s our human-to-human links that make the most meaningful moments of our lives. Page by page, Parker offers a decoder ring for the secret forces at work when we gather for business, crises or celebration. What to leave out, where to meet, how to charm—it's all here, explained with unforgettable stories and clever tips. You'll only put this book down because it will make you so hungry for a gathering of your own.” —Joshua Cooper Ramo, author of The Seventh Sense and The Age of the Unthinkable

About the Author

A conflict-resolution mediator by training, PRIYA PARKER has worked on peace processes in India, South Africa, Zambia and the Middle East. She is the founder of Thrive Labs and co-founder of the Sustained Dialogue Campus Network, which works to improve inter-group relations at colleges and universities. She has worked at the White House Office of Social Innovation and Civic Participation, the Dalai Lama's Foundation for Universal Responsibility, and at PRS Legislative Research in India. A graduate of the University of Virginia, she holds dual master's degrees in business from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and in government from the Harvard Kennedy School. She lives in New York City with her family.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07637KVXL
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Riverhead Books (May 15, 2018)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 15, 2018
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2291 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 3,251 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
3,251 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides valuable insights and helpful points. They describe it as an interesting read with fresh ideas for creating meaningful gatherings. The writing is clear and easy to understand. The book helps people connect in a more personal way, capturing the essence of human connection. Readers appreciate the author's expertise and solid academic background.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

87 customers mention "Insight"86 positive1 negative

Customers find the book's insights valuable and meaningful. They appreciate the helpful points and real purpose. The book is full of sage wisdom about how to be a good host, and it forces readers to think more intentionally about why have a gathering at all.

"...The book is also full of examples from the author’s life and career but the examples are used to draw principles that are applicable to our daily..." Read more

"Great book for starting good discussions. Good thoughts. Fresh ideas on “gathering”. Certainly recommend for individuals or groups." Read more

"...few are momentous and magical because they have a purpose and real point. An excellent read for all involved with bringing people together." Read more

"Excellent book that helps meet with, around, and on intention and purpose...." Read more

74 customers mention "Readability"74 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and engaging. They say it's a useful guide for gathering people together. The author provides helpful points and fresh ideas on gathering. Overall, readers appreciate the in-depth look at how we gather as friends.

"A weirdly amazing book that mixes principles for organizing a successful gathering together with etiquette rules, psychology and a pinch of politics...." Read more

"Great book for starting good discussions. Good thoughts. Fresh ideas on “gathering”. Certainly recommend for individuals or groups." Read more

"...An excellent read for all involved with bringing people together." Read more

"Excellent book that helps meet with, around, and on intention and purpose...." Read more

64 customers mention "Gathering ideas"64 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's ideas for gatherings helpful. It offers an analytical approach to creating meaningful events where people can connect. Readers appreciate the book's advice on planning events and organizing well-organized gatherings.

"The book explores the critical factors that make any event successful. I recommend it for anyone who wants to take event game to the next level." Read more

"A weirdly amazing book that mixes principles for organizing a successful gathering together with etiquette rules, psychology and a pinch of politics...." Read more

"Great book for starting good discussions. Good thoughts. Fresh ideas on “gathering”. Certainly recommend for individuals or groups." Read more

"...anyone whose professional or personal goals include bringing people together in a positive, intentional way...." Read more

21 customers mention "Writing quality"21 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and well-written. They appreciate the author's clear and concise writing style, as well as her organization skills and expertise in communication and conflict resolution. The book outlines many methods to improve gatherings of all types.

"...Filled with clear examples and stories that make it easy to absorb and follow." Read more

"...a good host, and how to find meaningful themes and organizing principals no matter the scope...." Read more

"...It's clear that the author takes great pride in her organizational chops and the fact that she's willing to be assertive bordering on rude in the..." Read more

"...It's amazingly simple to bring a conversation to a whole new level with her approach...." Read more

16 customers mention "Community building"16 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's insights into helping people connect in a more personal way. They find it captures the essence of human connection and brilliantly illustrates the significance of meaningful conversations between people. The book provides suggestions on how to make people feel welcome, how to make a meeting, and reconciling conflicts between communities.

"Excellent book that helps meet with, around, and on intention and purpose...." Read more

"...of the ideas in the book about keeping things flowing and getting people interacting...." Read more

"...She captures the essence of human connection and brilliantly illustrates the significance of meaningful gatherings...." Read more

"...This book had some great insights on helping people connect in a more personal way that adds something extra special to the event...." Read more

11 customers mention "Knowledge"11 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's insights and expertise. They find it intellectual, refreshing, and easy to understand. The author has a solid academic background, professional experience, and intuition that allows her to analyze events. The book provides a comprehensive look at each stage of an event and how you can make each part special. It is an interesting, different, and accessible guidebook with good tips about hosting.

"...and retreats more effective, and I think the first 3 chapters especially are very helpful, but maybe skip chapter 4 on creating a temporary..." Read more

"...The book gives a comprehensive look at each stage of an event and how you can make each part special...." Read more

"...The way the author talks about hosting and creating a space for a group of people was much more practical than I had expected...." Read more

"...Priya Parker's insights and expertise are nothing short of remarkable...." Read more

Unexpected insights
5 out of 5 stars
Unexpected insights
Parker has some interesting ideas for gathering your people, in both professional and personal settings. If you bring people together with something specific in mind, this book can help you make it better!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2024
    The book explores the critical factors that make any event successful. I recommend it for anyone who wants to take event game to the next level.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 25, 2019
    A weirdly amazing book that mixes principles for organizing a successful gathering together with etiquette rules, psychology and a pinch of politics. The author encourages people to think about various etiquette rules (without making any judgment as to what is right or wrong) and introduces psychological concepts that are prevalent in our daily lives without our realization. While the author does not express any political opinion, she does touch on how today’s political discourse takes shape when people avoid confrontation and she offers some suggestions about how such discourse can lead to fruitful conversations in a respectful environment that encourages people to disagree with each other while also trying to understand each other (after stopping worrying about saying something politically incorrect).

    The book is also full of examples from the author’s life and career but the examples are used to draw principles that are applicable to our daily lives. Going forward, it will be one of the books that I will use as a resource whenever I organize a gathering with friends and/or colleagues.

    As for the readers who criticized the author’s name-dropping throughout the book. To be honest, I think it’s pretty easy to ignore all the names throughout the book and to just focus on the underlying lessons and principles that the author draws from various examples. But if you have a specific hatred towards influential people, sure, don’t buy/read this book as the mention of familiar names might rub you the wrong way.
    25 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 18, 2024
    Great book for starting good discussions. Good thoughts. Fresh ideas on “gathering”. Certainly recommend for individuals or groups.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2023
    Joseph Ratzinger once said our culture had forgotten “the art of living,” the reason we live the way we do. Priya Parker looks at all gatherings to find out why so many are terrible and why a certain few are momentous and magical because they have a purpose and real point. An excellent read for all involved with bringing people together.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2018
    I learned about this book while volunteering for Diner en Blanc, very fitting as Priya spends four pages discussing that event! I would agree that this book is not for everyone, so if you do not throw parties, organize events, gather friends for costume parties, dinner parties etc, enjoy immersive theatre, or are not curious about what makes these things tick, this may not be the book for you. My wife and I do all of these things, and for me this book is a total up-level/game-changer. Wow!

    The book is full of sage wisdom about how to be a good host, and how to find meaningful themes and organizing principals no matter the scope. I do not agree that the book is exceedingly focused on business gatherings, but it will definitely help you understand why some gatherings really go, and others just plain suck.

    Thank you Priya for this book, you have helped make life more interesting!

    -- David (and Jennifer)
    26 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 22, 2023
    Excellent book that helps meet with, around, and on intention and purpose. From way before the gathering to the ending (and after)… how do you do it all on purpose and not with rote thinking and stale process.
    4 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2023
    This book was super interesting to read, and I learned a lot that I want to come back to and apply as I plan various events and retreats. However, I think the primary flaw for my own reading experience was how absurd the examples became about halfway through the book, at chapter four. The author has been involved in many interesting gatherings, and she has researched some very dramatic and obscure parties. However, the examples became pretty unrelatable, and I was no longer able to picture how her principles could connect to more “normal” activities, parties, meetings, and weekends. I would still recommend the book if you are thinking about how to make your events and retreats more effective, and I think the first 3 chapters especially are very helpful, but maybe skip chapter 4 on creating a temporary alternative world.
    9 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2024
    This book is incredibly valuable for anyone whose professional or personal goals include bringing people together in a positive, intentional way. Filled with clear examples and stories that make it easy to absorb and follow.
    One person found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • Good
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good to read
    Reviewed in India on April 11, 2024
    Good to read
  • mauricio
    5.0 out of 5 stars Buen libro
    Reviewed in Mexico on May 8, 2021
    Buen libro
  • noesun
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read
    Reviewed in France on August 23, 2021
    Loads of insights, made accessible through a wide spectrum of examples and a nice, practical and honest style. Great depth in the research as well, it goes beyond just "gathering"
  • Ignacio
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good book to let you think
    Reviewed in Spain on May 20, 2021
    This book lets you think about gatherings and what is the root cause of it. And plenty of things about differents aspects of gatherings.
    Sometimes little long on personal exemple but it worths the time spent reading it.
  • Nadja Petranovskaja
    5.0 out of 5 stars So viel Inspiration!
    Reviewed in Germany on February 9, 2020
    Was ich an diesem Buch mag: es geht zwar um Moderation, aber die zahlreichen Beispiele zeigen, wie sehr Moderation mehr ist als Workshops und Meetings! Auch in Familien oder im Gerichtssaal kann man mit der richtigen Haltung so viel für ein besseres und verständnisvolles Miteinander tun!

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