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Earl A. Grollman
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Living When a Loved One Has Died: Revised Edition Paperback – June 1, 1995

by Earl A. Grollman (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 338 ratings
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When someone you love dies, Earl Grollman writes, "there is no way to predict how you will feel. The reactions of grief are not like recipes, with given ingredients, and certain results. . . . Grief is universal. At the same time it is extremely personal. Heal in your own way."

If someone you know is grieving, Living When a Loved One Has Died can help. Earl Grollman explains what emotions to expect when mourning, what pitfalls to avoid, and how to work through feelings of loss. Suitable for pocket or bedside, this gentle book guides the lonely and suffering as they move through the many facets of grief, begin to heal, and slowly build new lives.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    113 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Beacon Press
  4. Publication date
    June 1, 1995
  5. Dimensions
    5.46 x 0.37 x 8.48 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0807027197
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0807027196
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

If you're far away when someone you care about is in mourning, send this book—it's the next best thing to being there. And if you doubt whether your being there will do any good, read this book, and you will learn how to become the wise, reassuring, and understanding person a good friend is when a loved one has died. —Minneapolis Star

About the Author

Rabbi Earl A. Grollman is an internationally recognized bereavement counselor who has been named Hero of the Heartland and given the Distinguished Human Service Award from Yeshiva University, among countless other awards. He is author of the best-selling Living When a Loved One Has Died (Beacon / 2719-7 / $10.00 pb), among many other books, and articles about him and his work have appeared in USA Today, Harper's, Reader's Digest, Ann Landers, People, and in virtually every major American daily. He lives in Belmont, Massachusetts.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Beacon Press; 3rd ed. edition (June 1, 1995)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 113 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0807027197
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0807027196
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 5 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.46 x 0.37 x 8.48 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 338 ratings

About the author

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Earl A. Grollman

Earl A. Grollman

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Dr. Earl A. Grollman, a pioneer in the field of crisis intervention, was rabbi of the Beth El Temple Center in Belmont, Massachusetts, for thirty-six years. A certified death educator and counselor, he was cited as "Hero of The Heartland" for his work with the families and volunteers of the Oklahoma City bombing. Dr. Grollman has spoken at many colleges, clergy institutes, seminaries, physicians' forums, and hospital nursing associations, and has addressed many support groups, such as Compassionate Friends, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, and Widows Personal Services. He has also appeared on national television and radio, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Children's Journal, All Things Considered, and Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Recently, he was featured on National Public Radio's End of Life series in the roundtable discussion on grief and bereavement.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
338 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

JaZzCanary
5.0 out of 5 stars The Very Best Work on Grief and Mourning
Reviewed in the United States on August 28, 2008
Verified Purchase
Rabbi Grollman has gifted the world with what, in my opinion, is the very best work on grief and mourning. I found this book in a store after learning about my stepfather's death. My mother was living in another state and I was searching for something to comfort her in the time subsequent to his death. I remember sitting on the floor of the bookstore and reading the entire volume before purchasing it.

Several years before, I had lost my own beloved father and I was very intimate with grief when I read Rabbi Grollman's book. I wished that I had known about this book when I needed it most, but I recognized the truth of what I read due to my own personal and seemingly endless painful experience (my grieving process was still ongoing at that time and lasted for many years thereafter).

When my mother received it and read it, she told me that it was honestly the ONLY thing that helped her! She kept it on her nightstand and said that she read it nightly before she went to sleep. Since that time, she has followed my example by either recommending it or giving it to many of the people she knows.

If you are mourning, don't bother with any of that silly nonsense about the "stages of grief" that you will find in the majority of self-help/psychology books written about this painful subject. Those books are attempting to put you in a neat little box that says, "One size fits all." Instead, pick up a copy of Rabbi Grollman's book. You will not find an over-abundance of words and trite platitudes. What you will find is brief, succinct, comforting sentences that spell out the reality of grief as something that is experienced differently by each individual.
5 people found this helpful
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B. Hansford
5.0 out of 5 stars Move beyond the pain, peace will come!
Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2013
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I simply love this book. It helped me so much. My husband of nearly 40 years died 2 years ago. I have been in some very deep depression and thought this book might help as it was recommened by a ministry web site I enjoy. This book hits the nail on the head. All those feelings you can't seem to speak words for he does.........so simply put but in your face. Not a hard read but very direct. All things must come to the light so we can move on and discover our new normal. It's not easy but with such love for someone you must travel a road of pain to get beyond it. There is life on the other side, not the same life but still a life that can be enjoyed and to be thankful for.
5 people found this helpful
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kalo
5.0 out of 5 stars Simple yet Insightful
Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2016
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I was given this book when my mom sister passed. I scanned it. Then a month later my mom died, I read it. It helped my grieve when I couldn't, it assisted me in putting things in perspective, and above all it made me feel that I wasn't alone. I have referred to it periodically over the past year when "the feeling" comes over me. When my friend's father passed recently I purchased a copy for her and she couldn't thank me enough. It is a most thoughtful gift to someone who is mourning. Forget the sympathy card because it's just another bunch of the same words over and over again. Get this book, give this book instead.
5 people found this helpful
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Stephanie Anne
5.0 out of 5 stars The Words I couldn't Say
Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2003
Verified Purchase
I bought this book sight unseen, simply because I think he's a terrific author on death. He speaks the language of the commoner regarding death.
I was shocked to find the entire book is written as a series of poems. Originally it threw me off, but as I read the book I was better able to appreciate the impact of using that format for these words. I originally purchased the book for a close friend who was about to observe the 1st anniversary of her sister's death. I hadn't realized how much her sister's death affected me until I read this book and couldn't give it to my friend. I had to buy another copy just for her.
The poems said exactly what I had been feeling through all my grieving stages but hadn't found words to express them. It was a godsend.
23 people found this helpful
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Ann Wilson
4.0 out of 5 stars It's a real must
Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2013
Verified Purchase
A very thought provoking book
at times harsh only because what it states is true & you don't want to believe it

read it slowly to get its true meaning, & re read it several times over a period of weeks or longer
go back to it when you start to move on.

4 stars instead of 5 due to the religious overtones, also aimed I feel at losing a spouse/partner, although I have used
it with a slight roll change to the most important person in my life, neither spouse/partner.
a book that will always be kept as long as am able to live on.
One person found this helpful
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Lover of all things Christmas!
5.0 out of 5 stars Living Whe n a Loved Has Died
Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2014
Verified Purchase
My dad died in 1990, and someone gave this book to me. Even though I have the hope of Resurrection and know I will see my dad again...I still hurt through his loss like anyone else would. He was my earthly rock. At first I wondered why there were pages that had so few words on them, but later I realized that was all I could handle for that reading. My mind just wasn't in the comprehending state....in that it wasn't too much but was enough, for that reading. My adult brother lost a good friend and I gave this book to my brother who read it and in turn gave it to the man's son. That one act showed me that it wasn't just me that this book was healing it could touch others.
I can't tell you many books that I have read, throughout y life, that I could just name off the top of my head, but this one.....This is my go to and I have purchased it for many people who have gone through or are going through the death of a loved one. This is a wonderful book and you won't be sorry.
3 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Small words, big impact. Read it slowly and absorb it.
Reviewed in the United States on October 20, 2017
Verified Purchase
This book looks like an easy read when flipping through the pages however, to stop and read it, it goes so much deeper. For obvious reasons, I am reading this book after losing someone to a very sudden death, my teenage daughter. As a parent that has lost a child, we search for anything that can offer comfort or peace of mind. This book was suggested to me by my son's baseball coach's mom. She lost a son years earlier and could spot a grieving parent from a mile away. I'm so happy she did.
11 people found this helpful
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Janet Cantrell
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect nighttime reading for someone experiencing the loss of a partner
Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2020
Verified Purchase
I purchased this originally for myself when I lost my husband and have since purchased it on three separate occasions for close friends going through the loss of a spouse - sound advice delivered in short reads easily digestible even when you are in the throws of a recent loss
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars The most helpful book on grieving
Reviewed in Canada on November 18, 2020
Verified Purchase
I was first introduced to this book after my dad died 27 years ago, and have re-read it after the passing of my brother and mom. I have given it to many of friends who have lost a loved one and have been told over and over that it was the best book for helping thru the steps of grieving. It was read every night in bed, the tub, or sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket. Grieving is hard and there are steps to walk to pass thru it, this book will help and it's easy to read and will help you without a doubt.
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Remy
5.0 out of 5 stars written like a poem
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 10, 2016
Verified Purchase
I saw this book after losing my Dear Dad, and it is exactly how u feel, and think when u lose someone, written like a poem, one part of the book stayed with me saying 'Solitude is not loneliness; loneliness is the pain of being alone, solitude is the glory of being alive., Dad would not want me to stop living because he had, we have to carry on living, and keep the precious memories of our loved lost ones, in our mind and in our hearts... always.
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Flamingmatilda
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy & useful read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 13, 2017
Verified Purchase
Such a fantastic book. It describes in detail all the stages & emotions of bereavement in small snippets that just make sense and doesn’t overwhelm you.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars The book covers every emotion possible. Read it everyday ...
Reviewed in Canada on November 13, 2015
Verified Purchase
The book covers every emotion possible. Read it everyday sometimes more than once once a day for 10 weeks. Still reading it. Extremely helpful.
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Al
5.0 out of 5 stars Great help
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 11, 2015
Verified Purchase
Really helped me with the grieving process, would thoroughly recommend this to anyone who has lost someone dear recently
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