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Against the Wall: My Journey from Border Patrol Agent to Immigrant Rights Activist Paperback – June 21, 2022

by Jenn Budd (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 46 ratings
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Jenn Budd, the only former U.S. Border Patrol agent to continually blow the whistle on this federal agency's rampant corruption, challenges us-as individuals and as a nation-to face the consequences of our actions. Her journey offers a vital perspective on the unfolding moral crisis of our time. She also gives harrowing testimony about rape culture, white privilege, women in law enforcement, LGBTQ issues, mental illness, survival and forgiveness.


"An unflinching look at a Border Patrol riddled with corruption, racism, and misogyny. Raw and truthful, no one escapes judgement, not even Budd, who searches deep within herself to examine her own prejudices as a white southerner, and the role she played as a Border Patrol agent."-Melissa del Bosque, author of Blood Lines, Lannan Reporting Fellow at Type Investigations

"With painstaking honesty and the sharp eye of a natural storyteller, Jenn Budd chronicles her journey from oppressor to activist. She investigates and condemns the agency she once was proud to be a part of while simultaneously exploring her own complicity. As a woman in a heavily male-dominated law enforcement agency, a daughter of an alcoholic, a gay woman in a misogynistic, racist, and homophobic environment, she was determined to fit in, even at the expense of her own moral compass and mental health.... Jenn's story, so deftly told, is a powerful testament to the importance of confronting both our own personal demons and our country's corrupt systems of power. This beautifully written book at its heart is about atonement and the unwavering advocacy that can grow from self-forgiveness."

-Barbara Feinman Todd, author of Pretend I´m Not Here and founding journalism director at Georgetown University

"This book is a must-read for anyone who is interested in a first-hand account of how immigration enforcement plays out at the U.S.-Mexico border. Through this poignantly written book, Jenn succeeds in not only sharing and humanizing the face of childhood and adult trauma, but deftly connects these tragic incidents to the societal harms and trauma imposed on border and immigrant communities as the result of problematic national policies and politics."

-Vicki B. Gaubeca, human rights advocate and current director of the Southern Border Communities Coalition

"A shocking look at the ugly underbelly of the U.S. Border Patrol. Brave and unflinching, Jenn Budd is one of the most important voices about immigration enforcement in the United States."

-Reece Jones, 2021 Guggenheim Fellow and author of White Borders: The History of Race and Immigration in the United States from Chinese Exclusion to the Border Wall

"This courageous and compelling book by a Border Patrol agent-turned immigration-activist is essential reading to understand how today's heartless and abusive Border Patrol culture came into being and what needs to be done to transform immigration policy in America."

- Ruth Ben-Ghiat, author of Strongmen: Mussolini to the Present


"As Americans, we invest so much power and responsibility in our law enforcement officers. When that power is abused, it's our responsibility to stand up and speak out about it-and Jenn Budd does that so courageously in this compelling book. Please read it. Please internalize it. And please join Jenn in her incredible activism to make sure the abuses of power stop now and never happen again."

-Alyssa Milano, activist-actress-author of Sorry Not Sorry

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Previous page
  1. Print length
    332 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Heliotrope Books LLC
  4. Publication date
    June 21, 2022
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 0.74 x 9 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1942762933
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1942762935
  8. See all details
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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Heliotrope Books LLC (June 21, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 332 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1942762933
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1942762935
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.07 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.74 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 46 ratings

About the author

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Jenn Budd

Jenn Budd

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JENN BUDD was a Senior Patrol Agent with the U.S. Border Patrol in San Diego, an intelligence agent at San Diego Sector Headquarters and an Acting Supervisory Border Patrol Agent from 1995 to 2001 when she resigned in protest. Since 2015 she speaks out on national and local news, community panels, podcasts and radio. She regularly is consulted by academics, journalists, humanitarians, and lawmakers. She is often interviewed for outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, The Guardian, Washington Post, NPR, Telemundo, and many more. "Against the Wall" was a finalist in the 2023 Publishing Triangle Awards for the Randy Shilts Award in LGBTQ non-fiction writing, and received an honorary mention at the 2023 Los Angeles Book Festival.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
46 global ratings
Behind the Wall
5 Stars
Behind the Wall
Jenn Budd has written a deeply personal and critical account of one of the federal government’s most racist and secretive agencies. The CBP has long been referred to as a ‘bottom feeder’ agency in the federal bureaucracy that has extraordinary power over one is society’s most vulnerable populations. Budd takes us inside the agency to expose a highly misogynistic and racist culture and the wholesale subversion of the rule of law veiled by the flag and appeals to patriotism (white nationalism).
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Top reviews from the United States

Green Desert Home
5.0 out of 5 stars Real perspectives can wipe away your red vs blue haze
Reviewed in the United States on July 28, 2022
Verified Purchase
America does not understand our own borderlands, policies, or much of the day to day reality of this geography. If we understood the reality better, we would be deeply embarrassed by the rank stupidity of the national conversation about borders and immigration. It is that simple. On both team blue and team red, the ignorance is appalling.

This book will help you tune into the reality of our broken CBP, which by now is just a jobs program for a lot of agents who could not pass psychological tests to be on real police forces. The talented agents who do join up almost universally suffer for the poor quality and bad decision making of the rest of the force. All the American people really get out of this for our tax money is the largest public employees union in the country, and one that is rabidly unethical and cruel to the point of being more like Saddam's Republican Guard than anything that resembles policing. Remember Uvalde, the BP stumbled in made things worse, in large part for cowardice.

Jenn Budd's tragic and heroic journey is just one of many stories we need to understand that a wall and lines on a map cannot, never has, and never will substitute for an intelligent, tax payer efficient and human rights responsive comprehensive immigration policy. The replacement of a rational policy with the homicidal implementation of our most dangerous landscapes as a gaultlet one must pass - and most do - before taking a job in the middle of the country is pure Hunger Games. This book is a great service to the country by providing insight into America's great stupidity, our great ignorant failure.
9 people found this helpful
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LAOneil
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Informative
Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2022
Verified Purchase
There are so many great things to say about this book I'm not sure where to start. First, I want to thank the author for sharing her story. The trauma she experienced while in border patrol was harsh and probably still continues today, so I thank her for re-living it in order to put her experience into words and allowing us to peek into life as a border patrol agent. That being said, I am angry. I am angry that people with so much power can be so cruel to other human beings and not be held accountable. The amount of racism, cruelty, and dehumanizing they inflict on immigrants is astonishing. The secrecy they continue to operate in has to be brought to light and justice must be served. This book is a must read, not just because of the words and images brought to the forefront, but because people matter and we desperately need to change the way we deal with immigration in this country. To the author, I hope you continue on your path to healing, and continue to fight the system for change and accountability. To the migrants traveling here, you need to know not everyone here is like this. America is a beautiful and compassionate place. I hope you make a brand new start and live happy and better lives.
One person found this helpful
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Colleen Taylor
5.0 out of 5 stars Tough to read, but important
Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2023
Verified Purchase
This book is tough to read - tough to know that human beings can treat each other so horribly. Border patrol personnel treating immigrants as well as fellow officers, spouses, etc so cruelly. This book opens the reader’s eyes to the cruelty, the misogyny, and the hypocrisy of the border patrol. It should also make us all think about our immigration policies and lobby for reform.
Great book, gut wrenching but worthwhile.
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Joobilie
5.0 out of 5 stars The most important book you'll read about US Border Patrol
Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2022
Verified Purchase
Jenn Budd has been someone I've admired from afar for about 3 years now. Her humility and commitment to truth speak volumes about her integrity and her heart of compassion towards some of our world's most vulnerable people is inspiring. This is Jenn's life story. It's painful. It's hard. It's ugly at times. But it's her lived experience and who better to tell us what goes on behind closed doors than someone who was a Senior Border Patrol Officer? When survivors tell their story we owe it to them, and to ourselves, to pay attention. I'm so grateful for Jenn's courage and her voice in today's immigration spaces. If only our country required a higher standard in law enforcement, and decency, of those who are tasked with protecting our borders.
6 people found this helpful
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NRD
5.0 out of 5 stars An inspirational, beautifully written memoir
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2022
Verified Purchase
Jenn Budd is a powerful storyteller who writes skillfully and with unflinching authenticity. The stories she has to tell are wrenching - about the abuse she endured as a child, surviving sexual assault as a Border Patrol officer candidate, and witnessing firsthand the soul-crushing misogyny and racism of CBP's organizational culture. She astutely captures the ironies and contradictions of that agency's mission of "honor" with a darkly insightful humor.
The path Jenn Budd has forged to heal from the subsequent suicidal, post-traumatic anguish that almost ended her life is as an immigrant justice advocate, exposing the abuses of CBP despite the risks this poses to her own safety. Her refusal to remain silently complicit is profoundly inspiring.
4 people found this helpful
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Dalia Jacobs Brandt
5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing survivor story.
Reviewed in the United States on December 13, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book is a must read even though the context can be horrific and unbelievable.
But that what makes this book a true story of survival . The racism and secretive nature of this government agency should be blasted all over social media and Jenn is absolutely courageous for not keeping quiet. I read this together with a friend and our conversations after chapters always ended with “What a woman”
2 people found this helpful
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Robert Koulish
5.0 out of 5 stars Behind the Wall
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2022
Verified Purchase
Jenn Budd has written a deeply personal and critical account of one of the federal government’s most racist and secretive agencies. The CBP has long been referred to as a ‘bottom feeder’ agency in the federal bureaucracy that has extraordinary power over one is society’s most vulnerable populations. Budd takes us inside the agency to expose a highly misogynistic and racist culture and the wholesale subversion of the rule of law veiled by the flag and appeals to patriotism (white nationalism).
Customer image
Robert Koulish
5.0 out of 5 stars Behind the Wall
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2022
Jenn Budd has written a deeply personal and critical account of one of the federal government’s most racist and secretive agencies. The CBP has long been referred to as a ‘bottom feeder’ agency in the federal bureaucracy that has extraordinary power over one is society’s most vulnerable populations. Budd takes us inside the agency to expose a highly misogynistic and racist culture and the wholesale subversion of the rule of law veiled by the flag and appeals to patriotism (white nationalism).
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5 people found this helpful
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TeeTalks2 u
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a MUST read!
Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book was compelling, horrifying and above all else eye OPENING! Ms Budd has shown so much courage sharing her first hand knowledge of power drunk agents, corruption and cover ups. She was put through hell by supervisors and contemporaries. In the end she took all the hate they peddled, purged it and became a better person. Her compassion gives me some hope for humanity.
4 people found this helpful
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