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Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself Kindle Edition

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 10,571 ratings

The instant New York Times bestseller

End the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.


Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them--in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do "healthy boundaries" really mean--and how can we successfully express our needs, say "no," and be assertive without offending others?

Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world. In a relatable and inclusive tone,
Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology--and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.
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Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by  Nedra Glover Tawwab

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by  Nedra Glover Tawwab

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by  Nedra Glover Tawwab

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Set Boundaries, Find Peace breaks down the what, why, and how of boundaries in a clear and compassionate way, leaving you confident, empowered, and prepared to tackle those tough conversations.”
--Melissa Urban, co-founder and CEO of Whole30

“This is the boundary bible. Nedra teaches us not only how to set healthy boundaries but to be clear about our feelings and intentions. Finding peace requires showing up—Nedra has written the blueprint on how to not only show up but also do the work.”
—Alexandra Elle, author of After the Rain
 
“If you want the most comprehensive, relevant, and relatable guide to setting boundaries, speaking your needs, and living a more peaceful life, Nedra Tawwab’s book on boundaries is for you.”
—Sheleana Aiyana, author and founder of Rising Woman
 
“The book on boundaries we've all been waiting for! Nedra Tawwab offers clarity and direction with grace and compassion on a topic often discussed but rarely integrated. If you're ready to live in alignment and shift your relationship with self and others, 
Set Boundaries, Find Peace is your next must read.”
—Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, founder of Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy 
 
“Without healthy boundaries, we aren’t able to fully live the life we want to live. This empowering book provides a powerful road map for establishing expectations and personal limits so that you can live your life with the safety, respect, and self-actualization that you deserve.”

—Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD, host of The Psychology Podcast and author of Transcend
 
Set Boundaries, Find Peace is a down-to-earth and practical guide on fully realizing your potential and giving yourself the freedom you deserve by clearly setting healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life, friendships, and relationships. Eye-opening and thoroughly engaging.”
—Myleik Teele, CURLBOX founder 
 
"Tawwab debuts with a comprehensive guide on how to understand and establish interpersonal boundaries....She identifies six types of boundaries—physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material, and time—and dispenses tips on how to uphold personal limits....Readers who follow Tawwab on social media and those who find setting boundaries especially difficult will appreciate the advice."
Publishers Weekly

About the Author

Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, has practiced relationship therapy for twelve years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice Kaleidoscope Counseling. She has been recently featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and she has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Don't Keep Your Day Job, Do the Thing, and Therapy for Black Girls. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As about boundaries and relationships. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her family.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B08LMSS439
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ TarcherPerigee (March 16, 2021)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 16, 2021
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1797 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 303 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 10,571 ratings

About the author

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Nedra Glover Tawwab
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Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, is the author of bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries, Find Peace, licensed therapist, and sought-after relationship expert. Nedra has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The Breakfast Club, and many other media outlets. She hosts the podcast You Need to Hear This, and shares practices and reflections for mental health on her popular Instagram account. Nedra currently resides in Charlotte, North Carolina with her family.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
10,571 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book helpful and empowering, providing insight into setting healthy boundaries. They describe it as an easy read with simple language and straightforward strategies. The content is relatable and provides practical advice for setting effective boundaries. Readers appreciate the real-world examples and guiding questions that encourage reflection and self-reflection. Overall, the book helps readers understand and set healthy boundaries.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

221 customers mention "Helpfulness"221 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful and empowering. They say it helps them reprogram their minds and be assertive. The advice is clear and relatable for everyone. Readers mention that the book teaches them about having boundaries in life and helped turn a toxic relationship into a life-giving one.

"...Hard back, good size font, 266 pages, an index, and notes. Has been helpful with helping me set boundaries. Written by a licensed therapist...." Read more

"...She also gives you the exact words to use when setting a certain boundary, and she doesn't leave anything to ambiguity...." Read more

"...This book totally helped me with a relationship that went from toxic to life-giving...." Read more

"Very good book, very helpful, easy to understand, well written" Read more

221 customers mention "Readability"221 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They say it's a great book for any season of life, simple to incorporate, and worth purchasing.

"...Written by a licensed therapist. Great read!" Read more

"What a fantastic book with excellent information on setting boundaries...." Read more

"Very good book, very helpful, easy to understand, well written" Read more

"Very nice. Apply what you read the best you can and be realistic." Read more

138 customers mention "Ease of reading"131 positive7 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They appreciate the simple content, clear explanations, and straightforward language. The book is well-written and includes exercises at the end of each chapter. Readers mention the writing holds transformative information that can help repair old relationships.

"This book has a preface and introduction. Hard back, good size font, 266 pages, an index, and notes. Has been helpful with helping me set boundaries...." Read more

"...to me than all the other books I've read on boundaries, is that it is so clear and direct - which is exactly what Nedra explains you have to be when..." Read more

"Very good book, very helpful, easy to understand, well written" Read more

"...Easy to read, practical and easy to apply to life. Buy this if you spend your life mad at other people. Or blaming...." Read more

122 customers mention "Establishing boundaries"122 positive0 negative

Customers find this book helpful for establishing healthy boundaries. It provides clear explanations of others' reactions to boundary setting and strategies to address them. They appreciate that it acknowledges that setting boundaries can come with guilt and advocating for yourself. The book offers specific actions to begin practicing healthy boundaries and real outcomes from individuals. It is described as the best boundaries book they have ever read, breaking down boundaries into smaller doses and helping reduce anxiety about setting them. Readers also mention that the book provides scenarios of boundaries being crossed and what to do when they are violated.

"...Has been helpful with helping me set boundaries. Written by a licensed therapist. Great read!" Read more

"What a fantastic book with excellent information on setting boundaries...." Read more

"...It clarified others reactions to boundary setting and provides strategies to address those reactions." Read more

"...A journey that everyone should dive in. Learn to Set boundaries!" Read more

71 customers mention "Pacing"62 positive9 negative

Customers find the book provides relatable scenarios and helpful tips. They appreciate the practical approach and actionable exercises at the end of each chapter. The book offers real-world examples and ideas, rather than psychology-speak.

"...Not only does she include examples of real life scenarios where certain boundaries are necessary, she tells you precisely how to go about setting..." Read more

"Very nice. Apply what you read the best you can and be realistic." Read more

"...It serves as a conversation starter, a source of comfort, and a beacon of hope for those struggling to find their voice...." Read more

"...While incredibly empowering and there were examples peppered throughout, I do wish there were more communication scripts or templates for folks who..." Read more

28 customers mention "Self reflection"23 positive5 negative

Customers find the book helpful for self-reflection. They say it helps them understand themselves and others better through guiding questions and exercises. The book encourages reflection and healing, with exercises that challenge them to connect with themselves. It empowers individuals to cultivate more fulfilling relationships, reduce stress, and foster a grateful mindset.

"...organized is very clean and simple, and the exercises really challenge you to connect with yourself, and get to the heart of the matter you're..." Read more

"...It helps you look at yourself and boundaries in a new way." Read more

"...It's a journey through the pages that encourages reflection and healing...." Read more

"...There is also a great self assessment quiz at the end to help identify how well you are in setting boundaries for yourself." Read more

22 customers mention "Boundaries"22 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for setting clear boundaries in various relationships. They say it provides practical tools for communicating and upholding boundaries. Readers mention the book helps them navigate better boundary setting with family, work, and spouses. The book covers a variety of relationships, including romantic ones.

"...It touches on boundaries within family, at work, in intimate relationships, etc." Read more

"...saying 'no' – it's about understanding your worth and communicating your needs effectively...." Read more

"...Boundaries keep you safe. Boundaries keep the energy vampires away. Personal boundaries keep those with ill-intent out where they belong...." Read more

"...Aptly titled, this book explores how setting boundaries in your various relationships can really increase your sense of peace...." Read more

16 customers mention "Value for money"16 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's value for money. They find it a great purchase and an investment in their well-being. The book provides valuable knowledge and offers insights.

"...It's definitely worth the money if this is something you struggle with...." Read more

"...It is worth every penny! Buy it! Don’t think on it! Find that PEACE you’ve been searching for!" Read more

"...I purchased 4 more after I reas this book as a gift for my friends. Great pricing especially for the hard cover copies." Read more

"...Its so rewarding and absolutely worth it...." Read more

Great book
5 out of 5 stars
Great book
This book has a preface and introduction. Hard back, good size font, 266 pages, an index, and notes. Has been helpful with helping me set boundaries. Written by a licensed therapist. Great read!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2025
    This book has a preface and introduction. Hard back, good size font, 266 pages, an index, and notes. Has been helpful with helping me set boundaries. Written by a licensed therapist. Great read!
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2025
    This book has a preface and introduction. Hard back, good size font, 266 pages, an index, and notes. Has been helpful with helping me set boundaries. Written by a licensed therapist. Great read!
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    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2021
    Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book as part of the launch team, but I was not required to write a positive review. My thoughts are my own.

    I wish I had the words to adequately express how much this book has helped me in my journey towards finding true peace and empowerment within myself.

    I grew up in a very enmeshed family where boundaries were completely non-existent. My impulse to do whatever I could to please everyone, and to try to be everything to everyone, was ingrained in me since birth. I gave pieces of myself away every day, and as I got older, I realized that I was empty. I had nothing left to give; but somehow, I just kept on giving.

    Around eighteen years old, I had an epiphany when I learned what 'codependency' and 'boundaries' were. It hit me like a ton of bricks: I needed boundaries in my life. This was terrifying to me, because even just the thought of saying 'no' to people would leave me with feelings of excruciating guilt and anxiety. I imagined it would be unbearable.

    I started to collect every book I could find on the subject of codependency and boundaries; and although I learned many new and enlightening things about these subjects, I still kept reverting back to old patterns. I had an understanding of codependency, and I knew I needed to start setting boundaries, but I still couldn't figure out how to do it.

    Last year, I discovered Nedra on Instagram. Every one of her posts were so on point. It was like, all this time, the lightbulb was dangling over my head, but her words finally switched it ON. I was ecstatic when I learned she was writing a book. I thought, "Well, if her book is anything like these posts, that is what I need!". I signed up to be a part of the book's launch team, and that was one of the best decisions I've made for myself in a very long time.

    The reason 'Set Boundaries, Find Peace' has been so much more helpful to me than all the other books I've read on boundaries, is that it is so clear and direct - which is exactly what Nedra explains you have to be when setting boundaries. The way the chapters are organized is very clean and simple, and the exercises really challenge you to connect with yourself, and get to the heart of the matter you're trying to work through. She emphasizes pushing through the feelings of guilt, and explains so concisely how guilt can trick us into believing we're doing something wrong simply by saying 'no', or asking for help.

    On page 252, she says, "Remember: there is no such thing as guilt-free boundary setting. If you want to minimize (not eliminate) guilt, change the way you think about the process. Stop thinking about boundaries as mean or wrong; start to believe they're a nonnegotiable part of healthy relationships, as well as a self-care and wellness practice."

    She also gives you the exact words to use when setting a certain boundary, and she doesn't leave anything to ambiguity. Not only does she include examples of real life scenarios where certain boundaries are necessary, she tells you precisely how to go about setting these boundaries in your own life. This is what every other book I'd read before was lacking. This is where the other books fell short. Nedra doesn't just give you the tools; she tells you, clearly and directly, how to use them.

    I am so grateful that I got to be a part of this book's launch team, and even though I wish this book existed years ago, I am so grateful that it exists in the world now.

    Give yourself one of the greatest gifts you ever could, and read this book. While I was reading it, there were times I had to put it down for a couple of days and really face some hard truths, but this is how we grow; this is how we ultimately find peace. We push through the tough stuff, and come out on the other side feeling more empowered than we ever thought possible; and this book will guide you through it, every step of the way.
    520 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2024
    What a fantastic book with excellent information on setting boundaries. This book totally helped me with a relationship that went from toxic to life-giving. I used the companion workbook, did the hard and necessary work, and voila! Our desired outcomes aren’t always guaranteed (because people), but inner peace can be achieved by doing our own inner work. I think this should be mandatory reading for high schoolers as they venture into adulthood.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2024
    Very good book, very helpful, easy to understand, well written
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2024
    Very nice. Apply what you read the best you can and be realistic.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025
    NEDRA YOU DID YOUR THING!! This is an amazing book. I was in a really dark place in 2023-2024 & this book saved my life. I am blessed to have discovered it when I did, there is no telling where I'd be if I have not. I swear by this book. I have learned so much about myself and my relationships with friends, family, partners, coworkers, etc. This is one of those books that you can read over and over again when you are going through something or experiencing someone in a way that troubles you. I recommend this book to all of my friends and family and my followers on all of my social media platforms. Thank you Nedra Glover.
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2024
    This book helped me rediscover myself by understanding that my boundaries help define who I am. It clarified others reactions to boundary setting and provides strategies to address those reactions.
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 20, 2025
    Great for anyone wanting to change their life due to boundary issues.
    Easy to read, practical and easy to apply to life.
    Buy this if you spend your life mad at other people. Or blaming.

    Thank you so much for this book.it is life changing.

Top reviews from other countries

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  • Alice S.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Deep reflections
    Reviewed in Brazil on March 17, 2024
    The book is really sensible and gentle, while provoking deep reflections upon our own behavior and how to reach healthier responsives to situations and others.
  • Caroline
    5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a game changer
    Reviewed in Canada on March 6, 2024
    As someone with 'porous boundaries' this book is excellent. Each chapter starts with a case study followed by clear, straightforward explanations and examples. Very easy to read but an awful lot of information to take in too. She suggests taking breaks to process and I would agree. It's a lot, especially if you are revealing and breaking unhelpful habits of a lifetime. The exercises at the end of each chapter are useful in honing your skills. I have, however, bought the workbook too as I need lots of practice! I wish I'd had this book years ago!
  • Mercedes
    5.0 out of 5 stars Bueno
    Reviewed in Mexico on October 3, 2023
    Buena guia práctica… da buenos ejemplos y plantea ejercicios prácticos para que no sólo quede en teoria
  • Yen Liu
    5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my perspective
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 25, 2024
    The author lays out the points in straightforward terms, and leaves very little wiggle room. There are concrete sentences and examples that are extremely, EXTREMELY helpful. It really should have been that simple all along. Reading this made me realise just how much more peace and freedom I could have had my whole life. It also gives practical guides for how to actually set the boundaries. I think we commonly take in words from other people's mouths just so readily, not realising that words not just only mean something, but DO things to our soul as well. But so very often people who struggle with boundaries treat utterances as "equal" and respond to them without verifying if we need to respond in the first place. It's not just about saying No or total rejection. It's about all the follow-ups and enacting the intention behind the "no" as well. In other words, this book is very nuanced, and not some simplistic BS about "rejecting toxic people" "just say no", etc. Tawwab goes through why it matters and how to really make it a principle. A transformative read that should be taught in high school!
  • K Manisha
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must ready book
    Reviewed in India on October 7, 2024
    Amazon Delivered with good condition

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