Kindle Price: $3.99

Promotions apply when you purchase

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Read with our free app
You've subscribed to ! We will preorder your items within 24 hours of when they become available. When new books are released, we'll charge your default payment method for the lowest price available during the pre-order period.
Update your device or payment method, cancel individual pre-orders or your subscription at
Your Memberships & Subscriptions

Buy for others

Give as a gift or purchase for a team or group.
Learn more

Buying and sending eBooks to others

  1. Select quantity
  2. Buy and send eBooks
  3. Recipients can read on any device

These ebooks can only be redeemed by recipients in the US. Redemption links and eBooks cannot be resold.
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Amazon book clubs early access
Loading your book clubs
There was a problem loading your book clubs. Please try again.
Not in a club? Learn more
Amazon book clubs early access

Join or create book clubs

Choose books together

Track your books
Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free.
Explore Amazon Book Clubs

Follow the author

Robert Rankin
+ Follow
More books from this author
Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

The Witches of Chiswick Kindle Edition

by Robert Rankin (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 113 ratings
See all formats and editions

We have all been lied to. A great and sinister conspiracy exists to keep us from uncovering the truth about our past.

Have you ever wondered how Victorians dreamed up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That THE WAR OF THE WORLDS was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo' s Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man?

And what about the other stuff? Did you know that Queen Victoria had a sexual relationship with Dr Watson? Or that the elephant man was a product of an E.T./human hybridisation programme? Or that Jack the Ripper was a terminator robot sent from the future?

Read on: and learn how a cabal of Victorian Witches from the Chiswick Townswomen's Guild, working with advanced Babbage super-computers, rewrote 19th Century history, and how a 23rd Century boy called Will Starling uncovered the truth about everything.

Read more Read less
Previous page
  1. Print length
    403 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publisher
    Gollancz
  5. Publication date
    June 16, 2011
  6. File size
    1409 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
Next page
Add a debit or credit card to save time when you check out
Convenient and secure with 2 clicks. Add your card

Editorial Reviews

Review

Attention-deficit SF humor: like Douglas Adams on a sugar high. -- Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

We have all been lied to. A great and sinister conspiracy exists to keep us from uncovering the truth about our past. Have you ever wondered how Victorians like Jules Verne and H.G. Wells dreamed up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might have been based upon fact? That War of The Worlds was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo’s Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? And what about the other stuff? Did you know, for instance, that Jack the Ripper was a terminator robot sent from the future? Read on: Learn how a cabal of Victorian Witches from the Chiswick Townswomen’s Guild, working with advanced Babbage super computers, rewrote 19th–century history, and how a 21st–century boy called Billy Starling uncovered the truth about everything.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00H6SRE5S
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gollancz (June 16, 2011)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 16, 2011
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1409 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 403 pages
  • Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ B007MXHEKM
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 113 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Robert Rankin

Robert Rankin

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as The Master of Far Fetched Fiction. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he is published - and making people laugh - around the world.

Despite his remarkable publishing success, Robert has never taken himself too seriously. He loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session. Robert Rankin is a great entertainer, whether in person or through his novels, with wit, humour and an incredible personal warmth.

But that's not all! In addition to being a talented writer, comedian and musician, he's also an incredible artist . . . so incredible, that he creates his own stunning book covers.

Reading his books can and will inspire you, scare you, thrill you and, above all, entertain you. His novels are an outlet for the soul, and food for the imagination.

The Brentford Trilogy:

The Antipope

The Brentford Triangle

East of Ealing

The Sprouts of Wrath

The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls

Knees Up Mother Earth

The Brightonomicon

The Armageddon Trilogy:

Armageddon: The Musical

They Came and Ate Us

The Suburban Book of the Dead

Cornelius Murphy Novels:

The Book of Ultimate Truths

Raiders of the Lost Car Park

The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived

The Trilogy That Dare Not Speak Its Name:

Sprout Mask Replica

The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag

Waiting for Godalming

The Witches Trilogy:

The Witches of Chiswick

Knees Up Mother Earth

The Brightonomicon

Eddie Bear Novels:

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

The Toyminator

Standalone Novels:

The Greatest Show Off Earth

The Garden of Unearthly Delights

A Dog Called Demolition

Nostradamus Ate My Hamster

Apocalypso

Snuff Fiction

Web Site Story

The Fandom of the Operator

The Da-da-de-da-da Code

Necrophenia

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
113 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

enubrius
5.0 out of 5 stars A Treasure Waiting (all too patiently) to be Discovered
Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2004
Verified Purchase
If anyone reads my reviews, they will realize that I only bother with either outstanding works or, conversely, those that are ridiculously over-praised about which the reader must be warned. Every once in a while, however, I write to correct a grievous wrong. Robert Rankin is the British author of over 20 novels few of which have even made it to this country; none of which have been given the credit they deserve. This is a crime against nature that makes global warming appear no more than a pin-prick. Most, if not all, of Rankin's work could fall under the rubric of "Science-Fiction". But that genre isn't nearly large enough to hold the mind of Robert Rankin. It is impossible, in so limited a space, to even begin to describe the plot of "Witches of Chiswick". Suffice to say it is about time-travel. But that's not the point. As Roger Ebert has noted about films (and by extension any work of art) it's not "what they are about, but how they are about it." And, oh, how this is "about it". There has rarely been as funny, as inventive, as complex, as clever, as... well, you get the idea... as this. In fact, with the exception of the (later-in-time) works of Jasper Fforde, I can only think of a slew of books bearing the name "Rankin" that even come close. Will you like it? Simple test; here are some other Rankin titles: "The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse", "Nostradamus Ate My Hamster", "The Raiders of the Lost Carpark", "Armageddon the Musical". If these titles alone do NOT make you an instant fan who wants IMMEDIATELY to read the books, then, no, you will not like them. You will also be marked a wrong-thinker who should be drummed out of the literary establishment, but, hey! it's up to you.
10 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Delamaine
4.0 out of 5 stars Far-Fetched Fun!
Reviewed in the United States on July 29, 2016
Verified Purchase
I have no idea what that other reviewer is talking about with "distress about a plot point early on - you'll know what I mean." I read that review and several others, first, and then dove into the book. I just finished the book and nothing, nothing stood out. I was expecting Rune to be Starling's father, or Starling to end up Pooley's father, or something, but nothing that unusual really happened. So I don't know what she's on about. Anyway, I've recently taken to reading Rankin's whole works after yet another rereading of The Brightonomicon and Retromancer; finished the Brentford Trilogy last week, Cornelius Murphy the week before, and today this one. While yes, the time travel did get a bit confusing, it wound up almost totally satisfactorily. Will probably reread sometime later this year. Typical Rankin, typical fun.
Helpful
 Report
Julia James
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2014
Verified Purchase
This is one of my favorite books, and an excellent introduction to Robert Rankin's far-fetched fantastic fiction.
Helpful
 Report
Kevin J. Hooke
3.0 out of 5 stars hilariously ridiculous
Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2012
Verified Purchase
This is not one of Rankin's best, but it's typical of his style. It's a crazy mix of characters, some fictious, some historical, from all different time periods, thrown together and bizarre events unfold. This story has a couple of slow sections but I had to keep reading because I had no idea where the story was going to end up.
Helpful
 Report
William W. Crane
5.0 out of 5 stars passing it on
Reviewed in the United States on October 21, 2006
In our 37 years of acquaintance, my brother has never recommended a book to me to read. The other day he called me from the cab of the truck he drives at work. He had to tell me about the book he was listening to on CD as he drove. That book was (of course) Robert Rankins Witches of Chiswick. On that recommendation, I went out the next day, purchased the book, interrupted the book I was reading at the time and began to read. Aside from periods of work (necessary to get money to buy books) and eating (necessary to keep energy up to read books) and sleeping (necessary... ahh who am I kidding? I didn't sleep) I read and finished the book. When it was done I was sorry there wasn't more. Funny, irreverent, at times irrelevent, and all together a rollicking, ride through the future, the past (more than one of each) and who knows where, this book is a must buy/borrow/steal/read. Oh, and there is more... Knees Up Mother Earth is the second book in the series. I'm passing on my brother's recommendation to you, the lusty reader of this review (if you're not so lusty, that's o.k. I'll recommend it to you too. However, if you can... get lusty, it'll help in the future. I'm not sure what it'll help with, just take my word for it, lusty is helpful).

In regards to the distressing plot point near the beginning... I was able to get past it and I wasn't disappointed. I have been known, in the past, to quit reading a book due to such things but, this book was all too compelling to give up on. Perhaps it was the continued references to a certain Governators movies, perhaps not (probably not but, it's as good a reason as any) but, I had to continue, you will too. If not, do it anyway.

Compelling? Ahh, why not? Compelling it shall stay.
2 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Home Theater Buff
4.0 out of 5 stars If you like Terry Pratchett...
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2013
Verified Purchase
...you'll like Robert Rankin. This is the first book I've read and it's Brit wackiness at its best. I'm hoping that his other books are as good.
Helpful
 Report
Henry Tupperson
5.0 out of 5 stars thoroughly entertaining comic fantasy
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2006
Highly recommended for its comic riffs, manic flights of fantasy and wildly speculative science fiction - that is, its imagination. When so many books serve up all-too-predictable plot lines and dialogue, it's refreshing to find fiction that treats the reader to a smorgasboard of Imagination.
Helpful
 Report
Kat
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Read!
Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2013
Verified Purchase
This book is super quirky fun! An interesting read, not a typical plain mainstream boring read! LOVED IT! It's a must read!
Helpful
 Report

Top reviews from other countries

A. Thomas
5.0 out of 5 stars If It Aint Broke, Don't Fix It
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 16, 2006
Verified Purchase
Fans of Rankin won't be disappointed, The Witches Of Chiswick offers plenty of the running gags and awful jokes for which the author is so famous. Hard-Core Rankin fans may have been worried by an apparent dip in form in the run up to this novel, but rest assured nobody will come away from this feeling hard done by. The plot twists and turns at such a rate as to keep the reader on their toes and more importantly, the jokes are amongst his best. Hugo Rune makes a welcome return as do Barry the sprout and Neville the now legendary part-time barman. It goes without saying then, that Omally and Pooley also get a shout. Be sure not to miss this one!
One person found this helpful
 Report
D
4.0 out of 5 stars Very good Very good Very good
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 30, 2017
Verified Purchase
Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good okay thanks buddy hope to
Report
Mr. Gavin H. Morris
5.0 out of 5 stars The Master returns.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 17, 2003
Verified Purchase
After the last book, I'd decided to give up Rankin. I'm glad I changed my mind. This is his best book, possibly ever, certainly since the first trilogies. It's also his most utterly ludicrous.
I don't know any other author who could get away with the casting, the dreadful puns, the awful lies but Robert Rankin does, and you are glad of it. Professor Slocombe's real identity (as if it were ever in doubt) is also finally confirmed for the swift of eye. Which is worth the price of admission by itself.
Buy it, or get it from the library on your way to the bookies, it will make you laugh. Guaranteed.
3 people found this helpful
 Report
Brian Clegg
3.0 out of 5 stars Not Rankin's best, but still one to enjoy as a fan
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 26, 2015
Verified Purchase
I am a big Robert Rankin fan, and Witches of Chiswick has lots of great elements - a dystopian future, a steampunk Victorian England which features a mixture of the real - Jack the Ripper, the Elephant man (who is working for the Martians and H. G. Wells) and the fictional such as Sherlock Holmes. And there are plenty of old friends like the Flying Swan (and Neville), Hugo Rune and Barry the time sprout. The book also has some of Rankin's trademark delights - for instance, the decor in a future kitchen is bright and orange, a reference to the now half-forgotten Orange phone network ads.

However, it also gives the feel of a book that has been written over a couple of weeks with little tightening in the editing. There are far too many conversations along the lines of 'You ought to...' 'No, we're doing it my way,' over and over again.

So a definite one for the fans, but not the best Rankin for beginners (I'd still recommend starting with the original Brentford trilogy).
Report
Caz P
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 4, 2009
Verified Purchase
I read this book about 3 years ago when I borrowed it from the library. Unfortunately I forgot the name of the book and author and searched high and low looking for it. I finally found it by joining several forums and one kind person recognised the plot and I found it again! Not the sort of book I normally read but it was very entertaining - made me laugh out loud a few times! Quite silly but nonetheless enthralling!
Report
Report an issue

Does this item contain inappropriate content?
Report
Do you believe that this item violates a copyright?
Report
Does this item contain quality or formatting issues?
Report