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You'd Be Home Now Kindle Edition
For all of Emory's life she's been told who she is. In town she's the rich one--the great-great-granddaughter of the mill's founder. At school she's hot Maddie Ward's younger sister. And at home, she's the good one, her stoner older brother Joey's babysitter. Everything was turned on its head, though, when she and Joey were in the car accident that killed Candy MontClaire. The car accident that revealed just how bad Joey's drug habit was.
Four months later, Emmy's junior year is starting, Joey is home from rehab, and the entire town of Mill Haven is still reeling from the accident. Everyone's telling Emmy who she is, but so much has changed, how can she be the same person? Or was she ever that person at all?
Mill Haven wants everyone to live one story, but Emmy's beginning to see that people are more than they appear. Her brother, who might not be "cured," the popular guy who lives next door, and most of all, many "ghostie" addicts who haunt the edges of the town. People spend so much time telling her who she is--it might be time to decide for herself.
A journey of one sister, one brother, one family, to finally recognize and love each other for who they are, not who they are supposed to be, You'd Be Home Now is Kathleen Glasgow's glorious and heartbreaking story about the opioid crisis, and how it touches all of us.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherDelacorte Press
- Publication dateSeptember 28, 2021
- ISBN-13978-0525708049
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Price | $10.82$10.82 | $7.13$7.13 | $8.98$8.98 |
Read more from Kathleen Glasgow! | Who killed Brooke Donovan? It’s the biggest mystery of the summer, and everyone in Castle Cove thinks it’s the wrong person. | Charlotte Davis is in pieces. At seventeen she’s already lost more than most people do in a lifetime. But she’s learned how to forget. | Tiger's life changed with a simple phone call. Her mother has died. That's when darkness descended on her otherwise average life. |
Editorial Reviews
From School Library Journal
Review
“Necessary, important, honest, loving, and true.” —Kirkus Reviews, starred review
“The narrative presents a nuanced look at a family trying to keep their loved ones safe and the toll that addiction takes on all of its members…A heartbreaking yet important story.” –SLJ, starred review
"...compassionately illustrates the profound power of love...[a] remarkable and engrossing novel of life’s balance and imbalance between struggle and joy."—Booklist, starred review
“As beautiful as it is raw… an unflinching tale of addiction.” —Amy Beashel, author of The Sky Is Mine
“Raw, honest, and over-flowing with feelings… unlike anything I’ve ever experienced on the page.” —Erin Hahn, author of You’d Be Mine and More Than Maybe
“In her gripping tale of an addict-adjacent teen and the fragile ecosystem she inhabits, Kathleen Glasgow expands our hearts and invites in a little more humanity.” —Val Emmich, New York Times bestselling author of Dear Evan Hansen: The Novel
“Renders the invisible faces of addiction with rare humanity.” —Amber Smith, New York Times bestselling author of The Way I Used to Be
“Nails what it’s like to love someone with an addiction and humanizes the struggle of a teenage drug addict.” —Hayley Krischer, author of Something Happened to Ali Greenleaf
“An evocative, soaring exploration of family, friendship, and the many lives that encompass a small town.” —Laurie Elizabeth Flynn, author of The Girls Are All So Nice Here
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
1
My sister, Maddie, is crying, her pretty face damp and frightened. One of my legs is heavier than the other and I don’t understand and I want to ask her why, but I can’t form words, because there’s an ocean inside me, warm and sweet, and I’m bobbing along the waves, just like the ones that carried me and Joey all those years ago in San Diego, when everything was perfect or as close to it as we could get. That was a nice time, when I was twelve and Joey was thirteen, letting the waves carry us, Maddie stretched out on the beach in her purple bikini and floppy-brimmed hat. Far away from Mill Haven, we were in a different world, where no one knew who we were.
I try to ask Maddie where Joey is, but she can’t understand me. She thinks I’m saying something else, because she leans forward and says, “Do you need more? Do you need me to press the button?”
And her finger presses a button on the side of the bed and the largest wave I’ve ever known billows over me, like the parachute game we played in the gymnasium in kindergarten, all of us laughing as the fabric gently overtook us and blocked out the world.
My mother’s voice is trembling. “This is not normal. This is not something that happens to people like us.”
My father sounds weary. He has been weary for years now. Joey makes people weary.
He says, “There is no normal, Abigail. Nothing has ever been normal. Why can’t you see that? He has a problem.”
My finger stretches out for the button to make the waves come again. My parents make me tired, years and years of fighting about Joey.
My mother’s hand touches my head. Like a kitten, I respond, leaning into it. I can’t remember the last time she touched me, stroked my hair. Everything has always been about Joey.
“There was heroin in his system, Abigail. How did we miss that?”
The word floats in the air before me, something eerie and frightening.
There was vomit spattered on his hoodie at the party. When we found him in the bedroom. He was woozy and floppy and strange and made no sense and I thought . . .
I thought he was just drunk. Stoned, maybe.
“I will fix this,” she says to my father. “He’ll go to rehab, he’ll get better, he’ll come home.”
She says rehab in a clipped way, like it hurts to have the word in her mouth.
“That’s not a magic wand you can wave and make it all go away, Abigail. He could have died. Emory could have died. A girl did die.”
The ocean inside me, the one that was warm and wavy, freezes.
“What did you say?” I whisper. My voice feels thick. Can they understand me? I speak louder. “What did you just say?”
“Emory,” my father says. “Oh, Emory.”
My mother’s eyes are wet blue pools. She curls her fingers in my hair.
“You’re alive,” she tells me. “I’m so grateful you’re alive.”
Her face is blurry from the waves carrying me. I’m struggling inside them, struggling to understand.
“But she just had a headache,” I say. “Candy just had a headache. She can’t be dead.”
My father frowns. “You aren’t making any sense, Emmy.”
She had a headache. That’s why she was in the car. She had a headache at the party, and she wanted a ride home and it can’t be right that a person has a headache and gets in a car and dies and everyone else lives. It can’t be right.
“Joey,” I say, crying now, the tears warm and salty on my face. “I want Joey. Please, get me Joey.”
2
When I open my eyes, he’s there.
I’ve seen my brother cry only once before, the afternoon he and Luther Leonard decided to dive from the roof of our house into the pool. Luther made it; Joey didn’t, and the sound of his sobs as he writhed on the brick patio echoed in my head for days.
But his crying is quieter now.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. His voice is croaky, and he looks sick, pale and shaky. There are stitches above his left eye. His right arm is in a sling.
“I thought you were drunk,” I say. “I thought you were just drunk.”
Joey’s dark eyes search my face.
“I messed up. I messed up so bad, Emmy.”
Girls swoon over those dark eyes. Or they did. Before he became trouble.
Joey Ward used to be cool, a girl said in the bathroom at Heywood High last year. She didn’t know I was in the stall. Sometimes I stayed in there longer than I needed to, just for some peace. It’s hard all the time. Pretending.
Not anymore, another girl answered. Just another druggie loser.
I cried in the stall, because I knew Joey was more than that. Joey was the one who taught me to ride a bike, because our parents worked all the time. Joey was the one who let me read aloud to him for hours in a bedsheet fort in my father’s den, long after he probably should have been ignoring me in favor of his friends, like most older siblings do. He taught me how to make scrambled eggs and let me stay with him in his attic bedroom while he drew.
Until he didn’t. Until the day I knocked and he told me to go away.
He stands up, wiping his face with his good hand. His beautiful dark hair is in tangles, hanging over his eyes.
“I have to go,” he says. “Mom’s waiting.”
Rehab. It floats back to me from when Mom said it. Was that yesterday? Or this morning? It’s hard to tell. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Things are bleeding together.
“Joey, why did you do . . . it?”
I wish I could get out of this bed. I wish my leg wasn’t hanging from some damn pulley in the air and that my body wasn’t heavy with the ocean of drugs inside me.
At the door to my hospital room, Joey turns back, but he doesn’t look at me. He looks at the floor.
“I love you, Emmy, but you have no idea what it’s like to be me.”
And then he’s gone.
3
I’m in the downstairs bedroom off the kitchen that my mother remodeled for Nana, hoping she’d come live with us, but Nana is stubborn and says she wants to stay in her own house until the day she dies.
The walls are painted pale gray. The sheets and blankets are white and crisp and perfect and I’m imagining how the sweat dripping off my forehead is going to stain the pillowcases. My mother doesn’t like messes.
At my feet, my dog Fuzzy nuzzles closer to my good leg, whines softly. I rub her with my toe. Her fur is coarse; no one’s been brushing her. Westies need brushing.
My bad leg is in a blue brace, propped on more white pillows. My knee is throbbing, sparks of white heat that make me breathe hard. Make me sweat.
I can hear them in the kitchen, my sister Maddie and my mother, arguing.
“Mom, she’s in pain,” Maddie’s saying. “Just let her have a pill.”
“She can have ibuprofen. She was on so much medication in the hospital. I don’t want her . . .”
My mom’s voice trails off.
“Mom,” Maddie says forcefully. “She fractured her kneecap. And she’s not Joey.”
“That’s right,” my mother answers, in a suddenly hard voice that makes me shiver. “And I want it to stay that way.”
4
Maddie sleeps next to me in the gray room, her eyelids growing heavy as she clicks the television remote from one show to another: Keeping Up with the Kardashians, My Lottery Dream Home, Friends. When the remote finally slips from her fingers, I turn the television off and just listen, Fuzzy tucked next to me, soft and sleeping.
Maddie snuck me a pill after my mother went to bed, fed me crackers and juice, and I’m not sweating anymore.
I’m listening to the quiet of the house.
Some things haven’t changed since I came home. My dad still gets back late from his shifts at the hospital, peeking into the room at us to say hello and ask about my knee before he eats whatever Goldie has left for him in the refrigerator before going to the den and settling down with his drink to watch his own shows. He’ll fall asleep in the recliner, glasses slipping down his nose, while my mother is asleep upstairs. That’s the way they’ve been for what seems like years now, my mother up, my father down. I thought that might change, with everything that’s happened. That they’d get closer, somehow, after the accident.
I thought they might stay home with me, too, at least for the first few days, but they didn’t. They went right back to work. Maybe because Maddie is here now and can take care of me. And Goldie, too, if it’s one of her days with us.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t exist in this house because I’m not beautiful and loud, like Maddie, or a problem, like Joey. I’m just me. The good one.
The one thing that’s changed is the sound of our house.
It’s quiet.
It was never quiet with Joey, especially last year, when things got bad. So much yelling and fighting with my mom about his grades. His attitude. Slammed doors. Joey burying himself deep into his hoodie when my dad would try to talk to him. I did whatever I could to make things better. Woke him up for school, even if I had to pour cold water on his face to do it. Did his homework, just enough to get his grades up, make it look like he was trying, but not enough to raise suspicion. I just wanted the noise to stop.
Next to me, Maddie rolls over, her knee knocking into mine. Little flares heat my knee, but not too much, because of the pill. I bite back a little gasp. Maybe I need another one? But I don’t want to wake her up. I don’t want any more fights about taking pills. I don’t want noise anymore.
Because this quiet? Even though I love Joey, he’s my brother, how could I not love him?--this quiet is peaceful.
It’s finally peaceful now that my wild and troubled brother is gone.
And I feel guilty about loving this peace.
5
“It’s a mess up there,” Maddie says. “But I think I got most of it cleaned up.” She drops a milk crate on the living room floor and flops down on the couch next to me. Her hair is in a ponytail and her neck gleams with sweat. The stairs to the attic are steep.
Even sweaty and with no makeup, my sister is beautiful. I shouldn’t feel jealous, but I do.
“Mom really tore Joey’s room apart. I don’t know if I told you. Maybe you don’t remember. You were so out of it in the hospital. But we came back here a couple of days after the accident to shower and change clothes and went up there. You know? To see what he’d been hiding, and she just . . . kind of lost it.”
She leans forward and shuffles through the milk crate. “I don’t think she found much. Maybe a bong and some weed. But look what I found.”
She hands me a stack of papers. Joey’s art. Gold-winged dragons with orange fire spilling from their jaws. Hulking creatures with sharp talons and red eyes. A whole world he created in the attic when our parents let him move up there when he was thirteen. He could sit for hours at his drafting table, immersed. My mother turned his old bedroom into her exercise space.
“I don’t think he draws anymore,” I tell her. “Maybe he will now. When he comes back. When he’s better.”
Maddie looks at me carefully. “Emmy, I’m not sure there’s going to be a ‘better.’ He took heroin. That’s some serious stuff. That’s not something you can just . . . brush off. I mean, I had no idea. Did you?”
I arrange the papers into a neat pile on my lap, avoiding her eyes. “I thought . . . I don’t know. It was hard. I was just trying to take care of him. I thought it was just . . . being stoned and stuff. You don’t know what it was like, last year. You were gone.”
I start to cry, tears spilling onto my T-shirt. I haven’t taken a shower in days and I’m wearing the same clothes I came home from the hospital in, the crutches are giving me sores under my arms, and I feel awful and rank sitting next to my beautiful sister with her hair up in a messily perfect ponytail.
And I feel guilty about Joey, like part of this is my fault, for keeping his secrets for so long.
And then there’s Candy.
It’s too much, everything bubbling inside me at once.
“Oh, Emmy,” Maddie says, wrapping her arms around me. “It’s okay. Don’t cry. It’s not your fault. I swear, it’s not your fault.”
But somewhere, deep down, I think it is.
Because if I hadn’t tried to hide Joey’s secrets, maybe Candy MontClair wouldn’t have died.
6
When I limp into the kitchen, my mother flips over the newspaper she was reading and sets her coffee cup on it.
“Well, hello,” she says brightly, turning to the stove. She slides scrambled eggs onto a plate for me. “It’s a big day. You need to eat. You haven’t been eating much. I’m getting a bit worried.”
She sniffs the air delicately. “Did you shower?” She pulls her hair back and weaves it into a stylish, casual bun. She’s wearing a lovely cream blouse, dark gray jacket, pants that flare elegantly over her crisp black shoes. Her work clothes.
“You’re going to work?” I ask, my heart sinking. I thought she’d want to come with me when I finally got my leg brace off. It’s been five weeks. I don’t know why I got my hopes up.
She frowns. “Of course. I can’t miss today. We’ve got a deposition. Maddie’s here. She’ll take you to your appointment.”
I take a few bites of egg and then push the rest around on the plate while she busies herself with wallet, keys, purse. My mother is a lawyer and my dad is a doctor in the ER, which means they’re both always pretty much working, but I thought at least one of them would want to be there the day I got my leg brace off.
Product details
- ASIN : B08VFSBVKR
- Publisher : Delacorte Press (September 28, 2021)
- Publication date : September 28, 2021
- Language : English
- File size : 9264 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Not Enabled
- Print length : 389 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #54,102 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Kathleen Glasgow is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of THE GLASS GIRL, GIRL IN PIECES, YOU'D BE HOME NOW, HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DARK, and the Agathas mystery series (with Liz Lawson): THE AGATHAS and THE NIGHT IN QUESTION. Follow her on TikTok @kathleenglasgow, or on Instagram @misskathleenglasgow.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book engaging and relatable. They praise the writing quality as amazing and detailed. The portrayal of the ideal is described as hauntingly beautiful. However, opinions differ on the emotional content - some find it heartbreaking and heartfelt, while others find it hard to read or stagnant in different emotions.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers enjoy the book's readability. They find it engaging, with well-developed characters and a compelling plot. The story is described as honest, raw, and eye-opening.
"it’s well written and tells a wonderful story that i can relate to" Read more
"...keep me hooked in a "thriller" genre sort of way, but a "this is a good story and I want to see it through" kind of way; a more emotional way at a..." Read more
"...Format: 🎧 I enjoyed this book a lot! I listened to the audio, and cried right along with our main character Emory...." Read more
"...But it was still as enjoyable as I remembered it to be...." Read more
Customers find the book thought-provoking and relatable. They say it's like reading about their own lives. The story is intense and gives you a glimpse into the minds of loved ones. It also makes readers feel empathetic and inspired.
"...MY THOUGHTS A very genuine real-life feeling story. A story of a family; mainly a brother and sister, struggling with present-day issues...." Read more
"...You’re definitely in for an emotional ride reading this book, and if you’re having a specific mindset about people who struggle with any kind of..." Read more
"...It's not what you expect a HEA. It depicts real life addicts. I read Girl In Pieces first and absolutely loved that book as well...." Read more
"...be the book to end your suffering and give you a glimpse into the minds of your loved ones...." Read more
Customers find the book well-written and easy to read. They appreciate the author's effort to open their eyes to grace and love. The book is detailed and good.
"it’s well written and tells a wonderful story that i can relate to" Read more
"I absolutely love the way this author writes!" Read more
"This book was so so so good and so detailed. 10/10!!" Read more
"Glasgow's talent for writing & turning pain into something we can visualize is amazing, her take on addiction in the novel was heartbreaking, again..." Read more
Customers find the book's portrayal of addiction and recovery eye-opening. They say it's a work of fiction that brings awareness even though it's fiction.
"Loved this book. Even though it’s a work of fiction, it brings the realization of substance abuse in today’s world. How sad, lonely and real it is...." Read more
"...It’s very eye opening and real. Substance abuse is very common in this age and something that needs to be talked about more." Read more
"...You'd Be Home Now is a beautiful illustration of the different ways that addiction impacts and consumes us- written from the perspective of a..." Read more
"...Hauntingly beautiful portrayal of the ideal "if love was enough, you'd be home now"." Read more
Customers have different experiences with the emotional content of the book. Some find it heartbreaking and heartfelt, while others describe it as an emotionally challenging read that evokes differing emotions. The book is described as gripping and relatable, with readers crying throughout the final 20%.
"...This will be the book to end your suffering and give you a glimpse into the minds of your loved ones...." Read more
"...reading and held the book to my chest when I was done and sobbed uncontrollably...." Read more
"This book was heavy. Heartfelt and heartbreaking at the same time. Several times I had a gut punching reaction to the events in the story...." Read more
"...Joey's drug addiction affects his sister, Emory, is realistic and emotional." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2025it’s well written and tells a wonderful story that i can relate to
- Reviewed in the United States on January 31, 2024MY SUMMARY
Addiction and the ripple effect it has on family, friends, communites, towns, this country; big towns, little towns, the wealthy, the poor; everyone everywhere. Focus on a brother and sister and their harships, growth, and the things they do, good and bad, to protect, defend, and try to save eachother.
MY THOUGHTS
A very genuine real-life feeling story. A story of a family; mainly a brother and sister, struggling with present-day issues. A teenage girl finding her voice amongst the "noise" of high school and her peers. It really kept me hooked in an atypical way, in that it wasn't overly dramatic or graphic. It didn't keep me hooked in a "thriller" genre sort of way, but a "this is a good story and I want to see it through" kind of way; a more emotional way at a deeper level.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2024I absolutely love the way this author writes!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2024*Disclaimer: The pills in the picture are my Pantoprazole for gastritis.
Lacy’s Tear Tier: 💧💧💧/5
Trigger Warnings: teen death, drug use, addiction, suicide
Format: 🎧
I enjoyed this book a lot! I listened to the audio, and cried right along with our main character Emory.
We see Emory go through a lot in this book. She is having to heal, physically, from the car wreck that caused so much devastation. Not only is Emory dealing with physical healing, she’s also, dealing with healing her mental health, as well. Plus, trying to keep her family together. It’s a lot for a teenager to have to worry about.
I love the journey that Emory goes on throughout this book. She starts to really find out who she is, and who her real friends are, and I love that for our character. She deserves the small wins after everything she puts up with throughout this book.
We have some great characters in this book, some shady characters, and some misunderstood characters. I loved the dimension given to each person.
In books like this, there’s a lot of conflict, but at our final climactic moment, things do get resolved, and people learn and change. This is a tough story with a hopeful ending.
This book gave me major ‘Euphoria’ vibes. It’s definitely a toned down version, but deals with a lot of the same issues. I would definitely recommend this book!
5.0 out of 5 stars Heavy topics with a hopeful ending.*Disclaimer: The pills in the picture are my Pantoprazole for gastritis.
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2024
Lacy’s Tear Tier: 💧💧💧/5
Trigger Warnings: teen death, drug use, addiction, suicide
Format: 🎧
I enjoyed this book a lot! I listened to the audio, and cried right along with our main character Emory.
We see Emory go through a lot in this book. She is having to heal, physically, from the car wreck that caused so much devastation. Not only is Emory dealing with physical healing, she’s also, dealing with healing her mental health, as well. Plus, trying to keep her family together. It’s a lot for a teenager to have to worry about.
I love the journey that Emory goes on throughout this book. She starts to really find out who she is, and who her real friends are, and I love that for our character. She deserves the small wins after everything she puts up with throughout this book.
We have some great characters in this book, some shady characters, and some misunderstood characters. I loved the dimension given to each person.
In books like this, there’s a lot of conflict, but at our final climactic moment, things do get resolved, and people learn and change. This is a tough story with a hopeful ending.
This book gave me major ‘Euphoria’ vibes. It’s definitely a toned down version, but deals with a lot of the same issues. I would definitely recommend this book!
Images in this review - Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2024Just got wet through packaging its okay though
- Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2023Let me just start with this:
I started reading this book around noon today, and finished at 9pm.
It’s been a few years since I actually sat down & read a book, I used to read a lot in my teenage years, and now I’m in my mid twenties - thinking this book may be a bit out of my age range. But it was still as enjoyable as I remembered it to be.
Threw me back for a bit of teenage drama & that hopeless feeling you felt all too many times as a teenager - and still do, sometimes ‘til this day.
Emory and her family is going through something that I can relate to heavily. The disappointment, the anger, the sadness. and the shame. I’ve felt it all. I lost one of my brothers to an OD a few years ago, and younger me felt a lot of different emotions about him, before I fully grasped what was going on. And reading more about substance abuse, I’d like to think helps me understand how maybe he felt at times when we didn’t understand. And it struck me at points in the book where I had to wipe away a few tears, especially towards the end of the book. You’re definitely in for an emotional ride reading this book, and if you’re having a specific mindset about people who struggle with any kind of substance abuse, maybe this book can help you change your mind, like it helped change Emory’s mom’s mindset in the book.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2024As far as quality goes, the book was in perfect condition. There were no rips, tears, bends, or printing errors. The story itself is alright. I am glad I read it, but it's not amazing or shocking in any way. It's kind-of predictable and somewhat bland. I was left feeling unsatisfied at the end. Overall, it was a good book but it had nothing that really stood out to me.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2025The book quality is good. The book itself is very interesting
Top reviews from other countries
- incredible book. hard hitting but so real and raw. love all her booksReviewed in Canada on January 12, 2025
5.0 out of 5 stars 10/10
was so very good. wonderful writing and story telling. was a hard hitting book and a lot to chew at sometimes but so real and raw. love all her books
-
maurizioReviewed in Italy on January 11, 2025
5.0 out of 5 stars Libro
Molto bello
-
Patricia KraemerReviewed in Germany on November 15, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Sehr hilfreich
Das Buch hat meiner Tochter gut gefallen.
- telleReviewed in the United Kingdom on October 29, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars one of my favourite book ever!
i absolutely love this book! kathleen glasgow is an amazing and powerful writer and i will forever love her books. i found it so easy to stick with as my attention span isn’t the greatest however this book had me hooked from the start.
- Alexander GomezReviewed in India on November 18, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow.
I mean, this book was relatable. Even though I don't have a brother who is struggling with addiction, he was a survivor of suicide and i related way too accurately to Emory, being invisible, being the 'good one' because my parents already have my brother to deal with. But also, understanding my brother's pov.