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Dear Birthmother Paperback – January 1, 1991

by Kathleen Silber (Author), Phyllis Speedlin (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 56 ratings
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This is the third revised edition of the open adoption classic recommended by the Child Welfare League of America. Gently provocative, warm and convincing, this open adoption guide includes actual letters between adoptive parents and birthparents, and between the latter and the children they have
Previous page
  1. Print length
    196 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Corona Pub Co
  4. Publication date
    January 1, 1991
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 0.75 x 9.25 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0931722209
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0931722202
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kathleen Silber was born and reared in Stockton, California, graduated from the University of California at Davis and received her Master's degree in Social Welfare from the University of California at Berkeley. She is nationally known for her pioneering work in open adoption. Kathleen and her husband and two children live in California, where she is Associate Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center in Pleasant Hill.

Phylis Speedlin, a native of Steubenville, Ohio, attended the Presbyterian School of Nursing in Pittsburgh and received her nursing degree from Incarnate Word College in San Antonio. After four years as a U.S. Army nurse, she took a law degree and practices now in San Antonio. She has two daughters who entered her life through adoption.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Corona Pub Co; 3rd edition (January 1, 1991)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 196 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0931722209
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0931722202
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.75 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 56 ratings

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
56 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Githionel
5.0 out of 5 stars Pleasantly Surprised
Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2011
Verified Purchase
I was assigned this book by my agency. I'd seen the title on many lists, and figured it would be a fairly standard starter book. I was unprepared for how much more insightful this book would be into my emotional state than other books! I had read books specifically geared towards women coping with infertility and looking towards adoption, and they pale in comparison to how well this book "gets it." In fact, some of the other books geared more towards coping were insulting, insensitive, and trite. This book was none of those things. Honest, thoughtful, and experienced are the words that come to mind.
This book makes an excellent transition to adoption, provides the relevant information, and left me feeling surprisingly peaceful. I only wish I'd found it sooner.
One person found this helpful
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Sherry Havira
5.0 out of 5 stars Birthmoms are heroes!
Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2012
Verified Purchase
As an adoptee this was an open and honest book on how adoption USED to be and how adoption came to be viewed so negatively. I don't agree with the author's belief in 'abortion as being better than adoption' but I understand WHY she feels like that. It helped me understand what a couple of women in my life ( two friends and my own birthmother) have gone through for the sake of not "bringing shame to their families". I grieve with any birthmom who did not have a good adoption experience. That is my drive and passion as a crisis pregnancy counselor/adoption advocate to make sure this never happens in our society again.
One person found this helpful
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Gabriela Godoy
4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful letters of adoption
Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2011
Verified Purchase
This book does a well job illustrating the miths of adoption by citing insightful letters written by birthmothers and adoptive parents. My husband and I are starting the adoption process and are required to read 3 books, this being the first one we started. I can say that it is already opening my eyes in certain areas of the process and clarifying some of the miths that I myself believed. It is a well-written book that accomplishes the task at hand.
One person found this helpful
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Ninj
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommended
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2016
Verified Purchase
My husband and I read this book as part of our adoption education. He has two older adopted brothers and his/their experience of adoption (they both had closed adoptions) was very different from what the adoption world is like today. This book really helped to open our eyes about the benefits of open adoption, and to see the process from all points of view, not just our own. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is also going through the adoption process, whether you are the adoptive family, the birth family, or the adoptee.
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TKGH51
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for everyone involved in adoption!
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2015
Verified Purchase
How eye opening! As a prospective adoptive mom, I was required to read this book by my agency. I am so glad. It is chalk full of helpful and insightful information. From uncovering 4 common myths that surround adoption to giving the reader an inside perspective of adoption through actual letters written between birth parents and adoptive parents, it has opened my eyes in the best of ways! Highly, highly, highly recommend for all parents considering adoption!
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HS
5.0 out of 5 stars As described
Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2020
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As described
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Em
2.0 out of 5 stars Dear Adoptive Hopeful
Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2014
Verified Purchase
This book isn't for birthmothers. This is a sales pitch for potential adoptive parents considering open adoption... And it does a poor job at that.

Not only does the book fail to represent the variety of situations where a woman may feel adoption is a better choice than parenting, it normalizes extremely poor reasons such as fear of single-parenting and wanting to go to college or the daddy isn't supportive. It only really deals with teenage birthmothers who rolled over on their rights and preferences so it was very difficult to identify with.

This book does not foster treating a birthmother with respect and dignity. It calls for treating them like children incapable of doing a better job than choosing you to parent their baby and then living happily ever after.

It was condescending and offensive.
9 people found this helpful
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