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Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life Hardcover – April 19, 2011

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 5,562 ratings

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In Falling Upward, Fr. Richard Rohr seeks to help readers understand the tasks of the two halves of life and to show them that those who have fallen, failed, or "gone down" are the only ones who understand "up." Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely about getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly the opposite. What looks like falling down can largely be experienced as "falling upward." In fact, it is not a loss but somehow actually a gain, as we have all seen with elders who have come to their fullness.
  • Explains why the second half of life can and should be full of spiritual richness
  • Offers a new view of how spiritual growth happens?loss is gain
  • Richard. Rohr is a regular contributing writer for Sojourners and Tikkun magazines

This important book explores the counterintuitive message that we grow spiritually much more by doing wrong than by doing right--a fresh way of thinking about spirituality that grows throughout life.

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Q&A with Author Richard Rohr
Author Richard Rohr
What do you mean by the two halves of life?
The phrase “two halves of life” was first popularized by Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist. He says that there are two major tasks. In the first half [of life] you've got to find your identity, your significance; you create your ego boundaries, your ego structure, what I call “the creating of the container.” But that's just to get you started. In the second half of life, once you've created your ego structure, you finally have the courage to ask: What is this all for? What am I supposed to do with this? Is it just to protect it, to promote it, to defend it, or is there some deeper purpose? The search for meaning is the task of the second half of life. (This is not always a chronological matter – I've met 11 year-old children in cancer wards who are in the second half of life, and I have met 68 year-old men like me who are still in the first half of life.)

Why is the “further journey” of the second half of life especially important for people of faith who are seeking a deeper relationship with God?
I think the further journey has to be clarified especially for religious people because for the most part we've pushed off the journey into the next world. We’ve made the teaching of Jesus largely into an evacuation plan for the next world so we don’t have to take this world seriously, this life, this earth, what's happening right here or now. The further journey has to happen in this world. I wrote the book because I want to say the further journey happens in this world and then you're ready for heaven. You're living in heaven now, you're practicing for heaven and so heaven is not even a big change of venue. It's a continuation of what you've already begun to experience.

What do you mean when you say, “we grow by falling down”?
You know, when I chose the title of
Falling Upward I thought that surely there would be six other books with that title. Believe it or not, there weren't. I thought it was a perfect title because it conveys a sense of paradox. The first part of the title (about falling) isn't about what you expect. In fact, most of our concern in the first half of life is about rising, achieving, accomplishing, performing. I tried deliberately to use a somewhat shocking or controversial phrase, implying that there is a necessary falling that comes into every life. It's not like you have to manufacture or create the falling; it will happen. If you can find grace or freedom in and through that falling, you find that it moves you forward, upward, broader, deeper, better—to growth. That’s just the opposite of what you first think when you fall, fail, or lose.

What is so important about the idea of necessary suffering? Why is it necessary?
The question of why is suffering necessary is probably the greatest and most problematic question in Christian theology. Why is there suffering? How is God good if there's so much suffering on this Earth? There’s no answer that appeals to the rational mind. The answer lies elsewhere; I'm going to therefore start with the psychology. Carl Jung and many others said that suffering is the only thing strong enough to defeat the imperial ego. In other words, when you're in control, in charge, looking good, building your tower of success -- which is what you expect a young person to be doing into their 30s -- you get so addicted to it that you think it's the only game in town. When that game falls apart, it’s because it's largely a self-constructed game, a game at which you can look good, you can succeed, you're building your own kingdom, which is not, in Christian language, what Jesus calls the Kingdom of God, so your little kingdom usually has to fail you. It has to fall apart. It has to, or you'll remain narcissistic, egocentric well into your later years, asking questions like what makes me feel good? What makes me look good? What makes me make money? Many people do. It might feel like success, but no spiritual teacher would agree. First half of life preoccupations won't get you into the great picture, the big picture, which Jesus would call the Reign of God. So, necessary suffering is whatever it takes to make your small self fall apart, so you can experience your big self--maybe what Buddhists would say is your Buddha self. We would say your Christ self, your God self. It doesn't really matter. You can tell people who have passed over from the first to the second half of life, usually you can tell it within the first ten minutes, whether someone is still building their tower of success. And that isn't even wrong; it's just they have something else to experience, and you pray for them and you hope that they will be able to see suffering as a doorway and not an obstacle when it happens.

What do you think prevents many of us from growing in the second half of life?
If you eliminate necessary suffering in the first half of life and you don't know anything about the second half of life, you won’t know what to do. As a Christian, I would say that's why we largely don't understand Jesus. He's talking from the ultimate perspective of maturity and we're all back here just trying to look good. It doesn't work.

Right now there's a lot going on in the world. We have a financial crisis in the U.S. We had a natural disaster in Japan, political upheaval in the Middle East. How would you address suffering in regard to those situations?
I can talk about necessary suffering somewhat glibly and theologically, but if I were in Japan right now, I might not be talking about it so easily. Or if I was a rebel in Libya, perhaps I would not be talking about it so glibly. We have to try to talk about it, to give some kind of frame, to give some kind of direction or meaning, but it never satisfies the rational mind. As a Christian, we're the only religion that has a very strange God image: a naked, bleeding, dying man. A naked, bleeding man is not a natural, even rational or even attractive, image of God. It's not an image anybody would have expected, really. It's about as counterintuitive as you can get. And, so, as a Christian, I've got to say: if I am to believe that Jesus is the image of God, then what is Jesus saying about the nature of God? He's saying, “I am in this crucified situation with you.” For those who are suffering, those who can gaze upon the crucified one, it is an unbelievable consolation to the soul. It gives deep meaning to human suffering. At the heart of Christianity is what I call the myth of redemptive suffering. Actually, even though Jesus gave us the myth of redemptive suffering, if I look at most of our history, the myth we've really lived out of is the myth of redemptive violence, that somehow by killing bad people, we were going to redeem the world and make the world safe for democracy or safe for Christianity. Jesus gives no such message. He doesn't inflict suffering on other people. He, as the image of God, participates in the pain of the world, and that's an answer to the soul. I admit, it is not a satisfying answer to the brain. When you're seeing your loved ones suffering, you better be looking at the crucified every hour, and trying to find some meaning for the soul, because the rational mind will rebel (and it probably should).

What are the qualities of people who have successfully taken the further journey into the second half of their life?
You can recognize a second half of life person is by a kind of inner outpouring, a kind of inner generativity. They're not guarded. They're not overly self-protected. They're looking for ways to give themselves away, because they're now living out of their abundance, and they find that it's an overflowing wealth. I think of a wonderful woman like Maya Angelou. When she talks, you yourself feel grounded because she is. You want to be compassionate because you can feel the compassion in her very voice. You want to have soft eyes, because you see her soft eyes. It almost comes through non verbally, but you especially see her concern about others. So, second half of life people are generative people. They're people who've learned to pay back. They know they've been given to abundantly so now they say, "Okay, I've got enough. In fact, I've been given more than enough, and the only thing that makes sense is to give away this generous grace that has been handed to me when so many people in this world have never experienced it." So in the second half of life, I think you have an increased empathy and sympathy; you know inside how much it hurts to hurt, and so when you see another person hurting, you can feel it and you know, many times, that you can't change it. Most of the time you can't change it, so you want to pray for them. You want to help them if you can. You want to send good energy toward them. You want to give them wisdom that will lead them out of their suffering according to your gift, and we're each gifted in different ways. What you'll never not find in a second half of life person is this universal caring.

I want to emphasize, finally, the word universal. In the first half of life, as Jesus put it, you can only care for your neighbor, those who are your own religion, your own class, your own social group, your own skin color. That means very little by the second half of life. You've learned to see the soul, and once you see the soul, you see it's evenly distributed, and you don't look at externals. They don't mean that much. You know that the wino on the street has just as much a soul as the rich man who's working at the bank. You stop being what we used to call a “respecter of persons.” Of course, that upsets first half of life people, because they think you're not patriotic. Now you see that Mexicans are just like Americans, that Americans aren't any better than Mexicans. Or, as a Catholic, you can’t say anymore that only Catholics are going to heaven. Lots of people who are still in the first half of life will say you're a heretic or disloyal or rebellious or unfaithful, but you are thick skinned enough that those criticisms don't deter you from what you know you have to do, what you know you have to be. You like to make people happy, but you don't need to please them to be happy yourself. A second half of life person knows that happiness comes from within, not from whether other people like you.

How can people start to look at that second half of their lives?
You can plan for it. As I say at the beginning of the book, you fall into it just like you fall into love. You normally have to fail through some form of transgression or humiliation or defeat (the necessary suffering). Then you can look to some elders, some wiser people in your circle of friends or to a book if you don’t have friends who know how to guide you across the transition and into the second half of life. We're a culture with many elderly people but not a lot of elders.

How do you hope your book will make a difference in people’s lives?
Well, I guess first of all I hope it’s going to give them courage and some kind of safety in that courage. Most of us have been taught to be afraid of ourselves, afraid of our journey, afraid of our mistakes, our sins. Sin was something you just didn’t do. But I don’t think that’s what the Bible is saying at all. The Bible takes sin for granted. It’s given, even in the Genesis story, where God tells Adam and Eve not to eat the apple. That creates the whole story line. God absolutely knows they’re going to eat the apple. That’s what creates the creative tension and it’s in the eating of the apple and the struggling with the relationship that they come to relationship with God. An awful lot of Christian people live in shame and guilt and enormous lack of self esteem. I knew the great spiritual teacher Henri Nouwen as a personal friend. We were walking once on the streets in Cincinnati and I said to him, “Henri, how would you define what the Church called original sin?” And he said, “Richard, I think original sin is humanity’s endless capacity for self-loathing, or maybe self-doubt.” I think that’s true, but sadly I think we in the world of religion have often contributed to that self-doubt and self-loathing. In that, we haven’t given the world good news at all, but bad news, and you know the world Gospel means good news. So I hope my book is a bit of a gospel. I hope it’s good news. I hope it’s truthful news, not false good news, but good news that really is good and new.

Review

Review on CNN.com:
religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/17/priest-offers-spiritual-survival-guide-for-recession/

"Imperfect people" are sometimes more equipped than "perfect people" to help those who are struggling... The person who feels that he has ruined his life often has more capacity for humility and compassion."

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jossey-Bass; 1st edition (April 19, 2011)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0470907754
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0470907757
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.2 x 1 x 7.1 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 5,562 ratings

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Richard Rohr
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Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (www.cac.org) in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where he also serves as Academic Dean of the Living School for Action and Contemplation. Fr. Richard's teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy--practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized.

Fr. Richard is author of numerous books, including Everything Belongs, Adam's Return, The Naked Now, Breathing Under Water, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, and Eager to Love.

He has been a featured essayist on NPR's "This I Believe," a guest of Mehmet Oz on the Oprah and Friends radio show, and a guest of Oprah Winfrey on Super Soul Sunday. Fr. Richard was one of several spiritual leaders featured in the 2006 documentary film ONE: The Movie and was included in Watkins' Spiritual 100 List for 2013. He has given presentations with spiritual leaders such as Rob Bell, Cynthia Bourgeault, Joan Chittister, Shane Claiborne, James Finley, Laurence Freeman, Thomas Keating, Ronald Rolheiser, Jim Wallis, and the Dalai Lama.

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Customers say

Customers find the book thought-provoking and interesting. They describe it as a great read for anyone who wants to expand their spiritual views. The writing quality is described as compelling, beautifully written, and well-written. Many readers appreciate the simple premise that the way up is the way down. The book is straightforward and easy to follow, making the complexities understandable. Customers appreciate the perspective on who we should aspire to be and the visual of two halves of life.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

702 customers mention "Thought provoking"690 positive12 negative

Customers find the book thought-provoking. They say it explains their hearts and lives in words they choose. The author describes a spiritual journey we should all be on to connect with ourselves and God. The book uses mysticism, Christian themes, Scripture, and poetry to expand their view of God and their place in the universe. It gives them a deeper understanding of God's love in all stages of life.

"Great book! Very helpful as I search for answers in the later stages of my life...." Read more

"...suspect, the fruit of his four decades of experience in helping injured souls find healing, feel loved again and acceptance at last - and from this..." Read more

"...Chapter 4 may be the essence of the book. It deals with the tragic sense of life. Rohr points out that the Greek word for tragedy means “goat story.”..." Read more

"...All of his books aid to the journey of life, but this speaks well to advanced mystic experience." Read more

494 customers mention "Readability"473 positive21 negative

Customers find the book engaging and interesting for those looking to expand their spiritual views. They say it's worth reading in small doses to allow thoughtful consideration of the content.

"Great book! Very helpful as I search for answers in the later stages of my life...." Read more

"...is that it refuses to deny the dark side of things, but forgives failure and integrates falling to achieve its only promised wholeness, which is..." Read more

"A great read for anyone who wants to expand their spiritual views...." Read more

"This book is remarkable. It will leave you stunned and enriched by describing how to approach a meaningful second half of life...." Read more

194 customers mention "Writing quality"141 positive53 negative

Customers find the writing compelling and clear. They appreciate the author's simple yet profound way of articulating complex ideas. Readers appreciate the fresh voice and overall message. The format is also appreciated, as it encourages re-reading.

"...Rohr's inclusive writing style is, I suspect, the fruit of his four decades of experience in helping injured souls find healing, feel loved again..." Read more

"...The Bible is clear that God never changes when it comes to forgiveness. God is never reconciled to man in the Bible. Man is always reconciled to God...." Read more

"...It was not as easy a read or as moving as the universal Christ or divine dance. I’m glad I read it maybe I was in the wrong frame of mind" Read more

"...puts this together better and more accessibly than anyone else has...." Read more

50 customers mention "Fall rate"45 positive5 negative

Customers find the book helpful for those in later life. They say it's a must-read for anyone who has experienced loss or disappointment. The author's simple premise is that the way up is the way down, and it's reassuring.

"...His premise is simple: "The way up is the way down." He sees many examples of this axiom everywhere and in every culture - ranging from..." Read more

"Falling Upward is very thought provoking and well worth the time it takes to read it and apply it to your own life." Read more

"Falling Upward was a real awakening for me...." Read more

"...; i.e. going through crisis, is reassuring, in fact, it is up lifting...." Read more

41 customers mention "Ease of use"34 positive7 negative

Customers find the book straightforward and easy to follow. They appreciate how it makes complex concepts understandable. The process of growing from childhood to changes is described gradually and explained well. Readers find the book challenging and say it requires deep concentration and serious pondering.

"...Rohr takes a novel approach to spiritual growth and makes the complexities understandable...." Read more

"...The process is a gradual description of the way we grow from childhood to the changes that happen in mid life...." Read more

"...way. It's a platter filled with directional guidance, take what you like and leave the rest...Feed your soul!" Read more

"...where he had no mention of Jesus at all and it read beautifully and succinctly...." Read more

36 customers mention "Perspective"36 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's perspective. They find it insightful and eye-opening, providing an authentic view of life from a higher perspective. The book helps them contemplate spirituality inwardly and outwardly.

"Rohr provides an incredible vantage point at what he calls, "The Second Half of Life"...." Read more

"...If you seek spiritual maturity, the ability to see all life with wonder, and a wise, gracious spiritual guide, then Falling Upward is for you...." Read more

"...Truly a high level look at life and what’s important and able to explain so much of how I feel and where I need to go. Life changing." Read more

"...It is eye opening and very very useful" Read more

86 customers mention "Religious content"48 positive38 negative

Customers have different views on the religious content. Some find it spiritual and inclusive, blending psychology, mythology, and Christian thoughts. Others find the author's opinions contradicting the teachings of the church and challenging the reader to spiritual maturity. The book mixes scripture, mythology, psychology, and science.

"...It is the work of unmasking the self-image roles that we have taken on and created for ourselves during the first half of life...." Read more

"...The second half of life seemed a little disjointed. Perhaps that was the fault of the editor...." Read more

"...how some older people become more loving, compassionate, caring, inclusive and happy as they age?..." Read more

"...Second... The book does read rather philosophically. It was penned by a Franciscan monk after all...." Read more

42 customers mention "Reading quality"19 positive23 negative

Customers have different views on the book. Some find it interesting, entertaining, and uplifting with rich ideas. Others find it boring, difficult to read, and too deep for a general audience.

"...Far from my expectations, this book is totally empty of serious ideas or rational thought, let alone argument...." Read more

"...Each page contains profound and rich ideas for those ready to accept his wisdom. Some spiritual books attempt to change the reader...." Read more

"...Sometimes it takes several readings to comprehend. Sometimes I don't get it. That is until I have finished the chapter or section that challenges me...." Read more

"...They are stories, to paraphrase Joan Didion, to help us live life, and understand it's wonder, joy, sadness, and ultimately end, as we know it...." Read more

Great Read
5 out of 5 stars
Great Read
As a retired person with a Medicare Card, I now know the stage of life I'm in and it all makes sense! His descriptions of building the 1st Stage of Life and then (hopefully) transitioning to the 2nd Stage of Life is illuminating. There is time to get it right after all.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2025
    Great book! Very helpful as I search for answers in the later stages of my life. I got a lot of value with the “first half of life” and “second half of life” concept.
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2015
    FALLING UPWARD: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
    By Richard Rohr Reviewed by David Bradshaw

    Every once in a while a new book comes along that speaks to your circumstance so clearly that it has the ability to transform, expand and elevate your worldview for the rest of your life.
    Falling Upward was such a book for me.

    A Visionary Book About Growing Up Spiritually

    A book about growing up spiritually, Falling Upward, is by visionary Franciscan pastor/teacher/author Richard Rohr. It offers a fresh road map to guide Baby Boomers through the next vital rite of passage they face. Rohr offers readers his flashlight to help us find our way out of the dark and into a joyful, bright second half of life.

    "Falling Upward is fresh way of thinking about spirituality that grows throughout life," says GoodReads.com. "Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely about getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly the opposite."

    Rohr's inclusive writing style is, I suspect, the fruit of his four decades of experience in helping injured souls find healing, feel loved again and acceptance at last - and from this experience becoming free to discover the hidden meaning of the "necessary sufferings" we all face in our lifetimes.

    His premise is simple: "The way up is the way down." He sees many examples of this axiom everywhere and in every culture - ranging from Greek mythology to "Man of Steel" modern heroes, and especially in Scripture, such as Jesus' Beatitudes, the Parable of the Prodigal Son, and the Apostle Paul's words, "It is when I am weak that I am strong."

    Like the U-shaped curve seen in all of the natural world, so our lives are formed by a series of fallings, losses and even failures - in preparation for the next rebirth, rising, gains and successes. "The goal," Rohr writes, "is to make the sequences, the tasks, and the direction of the two halves of life clear."

    "The loss and renewal pattern is so constant and ubiquitous that it should hardly be called a secret at all. Yet it is still a secret, probably because we do not want to see it. We do not want to embark on a further journey if it feels like going down."

    It is this 'losing our life to find it' that eludes us during the first half of life, but becomes ever clearer in the second half of life. But we all need some help and guidance finding that road less traveled. "You cannot imagine a new space fully until you have been taken there," writes Rohr.

    Falling Upward serves as a reminder to Baby Boomers that it is our duty and responsibility as elders to cross over into the second half of life to help guide the next generation down their path toward wisdom.

    "In this book I would like to describe how this message of falling down is, in fact, the most counter-intuitive message in most of the world's religions, including and most especially Christianity," writes Rohr.

    "We grow spiritually much more by doing it wrong than by doing it right. That might just be the central message of how spiritual growth happens; yet nothing in us wants to believe it."

    The problem we all face is that our rational mind cannot process suffering or setbacks, so instead we avoid them, deny them or blame someone else for them. What we should do, Rohr explains, is embrace them as part of our journey, our pathway to growth.

    The Two Halves of Life Explained

    In the first half of life we move incrementally from utter dependence upon our mother and father toward independence. In the first half of life we search for identity, meaning, significance and support to create a "proper container," Rohr writes.

    "We all need some successes and positive feedback early in life, or we will spend the rest of our lives demanding it, or bemoaning its lack from others," writes Rohr. How true!

    In the second half of life we discover the contents that the container was meant to hold and deliver. The old wineskins must be replaced by new, stronger, tested wineskins stretched to meet the changing needs of maturity.

    True elders must learn patience with "juniors" because they cannot understand what they have not yet experienced. "The 'True Self' is very hard to offend," writes Rohr.

    "In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things charity," said Pope Paul XXIII, as a reflection of second half of life wisdom.

    "The first journey is always about externals, formulas, superficial emotions, flags and badges, correct rituals and special clothing, all of which largely substitute for actual spirituality - yet they are all used and needed to create the container," Rohr writes. He sees that if we do not find a way to do the age-appropriate tasks of the two halves of life, both will be unfulfilled.

    Today we live in a "first-half-of-life culture" largely preoccupied with surviving successfully. But, to quote a Native American aphorism, "No wise person ever wanted to be younger."

    What does this say about modern American culture, driven to find the elusive fountain of eternal youth?

    To me it illustrates how desperately our society needs true elders to emerge who have made a conscious choice to live and act like grownups, not like perpetual children who are content living in their first half of life forever.

    The usual crossover points, writes Rohr, are a kind of "necessary suffering" and "homesickness" which could include the losses of a job, fortune, our reputation or health. This is the falling down which will end up turning into a falling upward if we allow the circumstance to do its inner work on our soul.

    This second half of life also involves beginning to write our own life script, owning it and paying attention to 'the task within the task' of life. Moving from surviving to thriving.

    "The familiar and habitual are so falsely reassuring, most of us make our homes in the first-half-of-life permanently," says Rohr. We do not willingly move out of our 'comfort zone' unless circumstances force us to do so.

    Henry David Thoreau wrote, "If you have built your castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. But, now put foundations under them."

    Connecting the first and second halves of life together is about seeing the world not as either-or, but rather both-and. Falling Upward presents a fresh vision of wholeness that calls us both upward and downward, for we cannot really understand Up until we have first experienced Down.

    Regardless of your age, I recommend reading Falling Upward with an open heart, mind and spirit. You will better understand the spiritual aspects of aging and of making a "further journey" to discover your True Self. You will also grow in seeing how to "love thy neighbor as thy self."
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2015
    Book report on Falling Upward by Richard Rohr, Bjossey-Bass books, 2011
    by: L. J. Martini 2015

    I put this book in the category of “gain-to-give” self-help spiritual books. Rohr’s premise is that the first half of life requires discipline in order to gain dignity, identity, self-significance (ego), boundaries and direction (p 46). When that is established the second half of life can develop and give back to society. He claims that without at least partial success in the egocentric building of the first half, the second half will not have what I call “confidence” to critique and liberate one towards God. Rohr uses the metaphor of gaining a way “up” for the first half of life and then “falling” through what he calls the suffering in all, whether it be in the original sin of Adam and Eve to each individual not being able to avoid personal sin (Romans 5:12), pp xx-xxi. Other terms he uses include the “way of the wound” (xxiv), the “reconnection” (re-ligio) as in the classic Odyssey story of Odysseus where he has to leave home for the second time and realize the suffered-loss (xxxi-xxxvii), being “wounded” (p 18) by a major dilemma, “how to learn from that very falling” (p 28). In all this Rohr finds the Holy “Spirit hovering over our chaos since the very beginning” of our lives which forces us to find and actually define our spiritual home — which becomes the metaphor for the soul.

    Chapters 1 and 2 explain Rohr’s Two Halves of Life: first, the need for structure and discipline to establish values and as he writes, “ironically need a very strong ego structure to let go of your ego” (p 26); which second, leads to a hubris that will proceed a lot of impending tragedies. If we have the correct “perennial tradition” then we can “learn how to fall and also how to learn from the very falling.” In Chapter 3 he says this is the idea of learning to fall in order to balance — like riding a bike. “People that don’t learn how to fall are very hard to live with.” What he is really saying is that you can’t love a sinner if you have never sinned, or thought you haven’t sinned. Once the structure, or what he calls “the container,” is established, the “contents” can be dealt with. This he cites from the Art of Loving, by Eric Fromm (p 32). Rohr writes that we need a combination of conditional and unconditional love, and be able to hold that creative tension such that our wounded identities can transcend from a desire to draw sympathy to a desire to serve others (p 34), what I would say “to turn our wounds into gifts.” An example in my mind is: longing for love (the wound) encourages the gaining and giving of love (the gift). Another example that comes to mind is being disciplined and “conditioned” by the formal training as an engineering (learning the specifics of math, science, and physics) and then being able to have “unconditional” freedom to think beyond that. Thinking beyond the boundaries of “conditional” science allowed us engineers to brainstorm and be creative, finding new designs and inventions. As Rohr poses, laws and limits are necessary but it takes a creative tension “to live both law and freedom at the same time” (p 36). When we do this we can deal with loss. That’s what he says moves a “youth” oriented (entitlement) society to a true elderly society that can think for themselves (p 39). This will be a society that is not adverse to risk (p 42), can move from an “ego centric” worldview to a “soul centric” worldview (p 43), can “discharge your loyal soldier” from “merit- badge thinking” to a broader identity (p 44-45), and allow the ego to lose the battle so that faith will allow growth towards God (p 47). This will happen when we “confront love, death, suffering, subtlety, sin, mercy”… to allow the death of the false self, and provoke the birth of the soul (p 49-50).

    Chapter 4 may be the essence of the book. It deals with the tragic sense of life. Rohr points out that the Greek word for tragedy means “goat story.” This tragic sense of life is the essence of the Gospel that resurrection comes from death — “salvation history is an integrating, using, and forgiving of this tragic sense of life. Judeo-Christianity includes the problem inside the solution and a part of the solution. The genius of the biblical revelation is that it refuses to deny the dark side of things, but forgives failure and integrates falling to achieve its only promised wholeness, which is much of the point of this whole book” (p 59). [In my book God’s Great Scheme, I have basically described this as Christian Holism.] Rohr does a good job at describing the tragic sense of life, the truth that only faith can transcend all the exceptions of the natural logic of the world (p 54-57). He explains that those humans who are on the edge of what is defined as normal, proper, or good have the most to teach us. They tend to reveal the shadows and mysterious side of things that should encourage our humble searching and “not rushing towards resolution to allay our anxiety.” (He challenges us to rethink our definition of salvation when it comes to the mentally ill person.) The mercy and grace of God becomes the significance of what he cites as the divine pattern of the incarnation — “the scandal of the particular.” He presents the fact that Jesus never was upset at the sinners, but only upset with people who did not think they were sinners (p 59) — the Pharisees come to mind. The only exception I take with this chapter is Rohr’s statement: “Every time God forgives us, God is saying that God’s own rules do not matter as much as the relationship that God wants to create with us” (p 57). This can easily be misinterpreted that God is willing to change the rules of reconciliation when it comes to personal relationship with each individual. The Bible is clear that God never changes when it comes to forgiveness. God is never reconciled to man in the Bible. Man is always reconciled to God. In this context the Bible always uses the word apokatallasso, that man changes, repents, and accepts God’s forgiveness — the change occurs in man, never in God. (I describe this in great detail in my book God’s Great Scheme, describing the four different Greek words for reconciliation relative to God’s forgiveness of man.) I’m sure Rohr would agree with this position since his whole book is about the need for us to mature, to change in the second part of life. Our maturity in change will result in reconciliation — our change of tragedy into salvation.

    Rohr closes chapter 4 by stating that “the tragic sense of life is ironically not tragic at all, at least in the Big Picture.” It connects the past with the future and prepares us for the necessary suffering that should keep us from “despair about our own failure and loss and ironically offers us a way through it all” (p 63). He prefaces this with the “goat stories” of racism, slavery, sexism, the Crusades, two World Wars—all the tragedies that emerged from our human inability to love the imperfection within ourselves and thus impose such tragedies on others (p 62).
    Chapters 5 and 6 describe our stumbling over the “stumbling stones” of necessary suffering. These two chapters are a repeat and emphasis of what Rohr has already presented: loss and suffering is inevitable, it will come to break your pride and cause you to change, that’s if you’ve left the securities of home. The theme is acceptance of loss and humiliation so ego will be crucified and resurrection can take place (p 69).

    Chapters 7 and 8 go together. They speak of the Holy Spirit and the soul as our “homing device” to get us back to the “True Self.” True Self is the same home of our past (the alpha) that we have forgotten (the amnesia of the big picture), yet it drives us forward to our end (the omega) to the perfected home with God. Rohr writes that he believes there is a “One Great Mystery” that is revealed at our beginning and forever beckons us forward towards its full realization (p 88). That he calls the homing device that may be called the soul or the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It cannot be ignored. [I think it is embedded by God as Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, ‘God has put in the heart of man a sense of eternity, but in such a way that he will not know his plan from beginning to end’ (my translation).] Rohr writes, “The end is already planted in us at the beginning, and it gnaws away at us until we get there freely and consciously” (p 91). This planting he acknowledges as the Holy Spirit, Romans 5:5; John 14:18. [This is exactly what I claim in my book: The Confident Christian; the idea that the Holy Spirit is working on everyone, through their conscience (Romans 2:12-16). I agree with Rohr that it takes the cooperation between God and the individual to come to this understanding and realization of the divine (p 92; The Confident Christian; and my book on Christian Holism — God’s Great Scheme).] It is interesting that Rohr brings up the fact that sometimes it takes a great deal of love and/or suffering to make some aware of this (p 91); that we can learn by our sins (p 95) before we find our true identity (theosis, p. 98), the Larger Source, the unified field, the shared Spirit (p 99). The second half of chapter 8 talks about the hell that we suffer when we don’t have the unity of the shared Spirit. It is a self-imposed hell when we refuse to be part of the “state of union,” heaven. I agree with this and have always said, “those in hell are there because they choose to be.” [The one statement that Rohr makes that I question is: “It is interesting to me that the official church has never declared a single person to be in hell, not even Judas, Hitler, or Stalin” (p 102). I think Rohr is forgetting the history of the Inquisition where the church officially did condemn people to hell.]

    Chapters 9 and 10 seem to go together for they describe the goal of the second half of life, what I would call “an elderly peace.” Rohr describes this as a second simplicity, becoming a liberal and a conservative at the same time, being inclusive in scope, a type of scope that continues to expand (p 107) — coming to the conclusion that: “If God could ‘include’ and allow, then why not I?… If God asked me to love unconditionally and universally, then it was clear that God operated in the same way.” In this, Rohr classifies himself more as a catholic then Roman Catholic and takes a more universal stand by quoting John 4:42, that Jesus either has to be the “savior of the world…, or he is not much of a savior at all.” Rohr has come to a “deepening sense of what the church calls holiness, what Americans call freedom, and what psychology calls wholeness” (p 108). He describes the Big Truth in the universe, and an all inclusiveness that God is the “common definition,” the “God of everybody” (p 109). [This all inclusiveness of God reminds me of what I’ve written about in my book God’s Great Scheme.] He goes on to describe a “simple and beautiful” description of God in the Shema of Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (God is one and good).

    At the end of chapter 9, Rohr speaks of anxiety and doubt which is countered by faith and trust. He presents the fact that God uses us in his Great Work. To understand this is to no longer need a “magic wand kind of God,” a “Tinker Bell,” who answers all our doubt and anxiety, but a God that will work “secretly and humbly, and who includes us in on the process and the conclusion” (p 110). We no longer have to stay in a “control tower” but now have gained a “deeper and tested kind of happiness,” one of “patience and compassion,” a wisdom that has happily accepted the mystery of “unknowing” and as he says taken “a lot of learning to finally learn ignorance” (p 112). He elaborates this happiness in chapter 10 with words as “luminous darkness,” “bright sadness” — that which we see in the Eight Beatitudes. There is more acceptance and patience instead of what he calls “knee-jerk responses towards either the conservative or liberal end of the spectrum” (p 119). He writes that in “the second half, you try instead to influence events work for change, quietly persuade, change your own attitude, pray, or forgive instead of taking things to court.” He describes this as being a part of the “broader vision,” where instead of trying to differentiate yourself (as youths do), you now share in the commonalities, become a part of the “general dance.” This is what I call forming the confident peace, the emphasis being no longer on the “doing” but on the “being.” Rohr calls this falling into the larger brightness. Thus “the falling upward that we have been waiting for! (p 124).” He presents a litmus test for reaching the second half of life as being: “Your concern is not so much to have what you love anymore, but to love what you have — right now.” What goes hand-in-hand in this litmus test [I think] is the importance of forgiveness that he presents on page 114: “If you have forgiven yourself for being imperfect and falling, you can now do it for just about everybody else. If you have not done it for yourself, I am afraid you will likely pass on your sadness, absurdity, judgment, and futility to others. [The goat story comes to my mind here.] This is the tragic path of the many elderly people who have not become actual elders, probably because they were never eldered or mentored themselves.”

    Chapter 11 is all about the work of finding and accepting the True Self in the second half of life. It is the work of unmasking the self-image roles that we have taken on and created for ourselves during the first half of life. That is the “shadow work” that Rohr says emerges by a healthy self-critical thinking, which allows one to see beyond their own shadow and disguise (mask) and to find who they are — who is “hidden with Christ in God,” Colossians 3:3 (p 130). This is humiliating work, undressing the shadow disguises of our role-playing. We come to see what needs to be exposed by noting those things to which we overreact or over deny. [I would say, the Holy Spirit helps us do this work, John 16:8.]
    Chapter 12 is all about the challenge of second-half-of-life people living in a world full of first-half of-life people. It takes a lot of patience because all institutions must be concerned with membership requirements, policy, procedures, protocol, and precedents (p 137). Those are all “ego needs” and not “soul needs.” Institutions of “ego needs” demand a “tit-for-tat universe” and practical results because they must eat, house themselves and have clothing — I would say they are working in competitive circles, not contemplative (what Rohr calls soulful, page 140). Rohr’s claim is that egotistical/dualistic thinking is finally reversed in the second-half-of-life people. Another litmus test he poses, although he doesn’t call it that, is his claim that “if your politics do not become more compassionate and inclusive, I doubt whether you are on the second journey” (p 145). Rohr also contends that as we get older we should be moving toward an introversion, natural contemplation where “Silence is the only language spacious enough to include everything and to keep us from slipping back into dualistic judgments and divisive words” (p 144). The soulful life moves towards a solitude which becomes productive, where there is no need for diversion, loud music or large crowds. The dualistic (this or that) view that compares, competes, conflicts, conspires, condemns, cancels out and crucifies (p 147) has now changed by incorporating the negative, those things we used to exclude into those things we can now accept. In this Rohr sites Jesus’ saying, “forgive your enemies” (p 146). The final wisdom is that the “Nondualistic thinking (“both-and” thinking) presumes that you have first mastered dualistic clarity,” found it insufficient relative to the “big issues like love, suffering, death, God, and any notion of infinity.” In short, Rohr says “we need both” — the dualistic mind needed early, the non-dualistic mind later for the Big Picture view (p 150). [Just when I thought the soulful/non-dualistic mind meant passivity, Rohr said just the opposite. On page 146 he writes that there is an “essential link between true contemplation and skillful action.” Then he writes on pages 148-149 that the second half of life is when all those things we have avoided in order to manufacture our “ego ideals” start coming back as true friends and teachers. Then the “doers become thinkers, feelers become doers, thinkers become feelers, extroverts become introverts…” I’m glad Rohr incorporated these ideas, since that is what I’m finding now in my own life, at 70 years old. Those reversals have become my recent motivations.]

    Chapter 13 is a good synopsis of the “falling upward” theme of the book. It highlights the idea of “gaining” in ‘radiance’ as one ages, taking advantage of what one has suffered in life — like using the “falling down” on a trampoline to “actually contribute to the bounce” (p 158). The fulfillment of becoming a radiant person is in serving others. This is done by mirroring the divine image of God. Rohr mentions ‘spiritual gifts always being reflected gifts.’ I wish he would of elaborated on this, because I find that I am most loving and helpful to others when I am using my spiritual gifts — where fountains of living water are enacted through me (John 7:38). Rohr talks about a relationship to God, an “I-Thou” relationship in which our “perfect receiving” of God’s gaze is reflected to others — what I remember Jesus as saying, “you have freely been given, freely give.” This should be our goal in the second half of our journey in life. Rohr ends the chapter by warning that the only thing that can inhibit our second journey is our “own lack of courage, patience, and imagination.” The falling part of the first half of the journey is necessary for the second half; suffering the ‘pain being part of the deal’ is the falling that finally becomes our standing (my words here).

    The Coda — a meditation on a poem by Thomas Merton — is a fine example of the necessary suffering that the soul needs in order to mature. It’s well worth reading as a concluding reminder of the courage required in falling towards God.
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2024
    love love love (but not for beginners on this spiritual journey)! All of his books aid to the journey of life, but this speaks well to advanced mystic experience.
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2024
    A great read for anyone who wants to expand their spiritual views. The book talks about the different levels of spirituality that we experience in life. It really opened my mind to the idea that ideas and thinking can change over time.

Top reviews from other countries

  • Adolfo Borges
    5.0 out of 5 stars Father Richard Rohr is great!
    Reviewed in Brazil on February 23, 2023
    Excellent book for those who search for a meaningful and spiritual existence in the “second half” of their lives. Adolfo Borges
  • S. Weisenberger
    5.0 out of 5 stars When to best read this
    Reviewed in Germany on October 4, 2023
    This is a tricky book. It's a bridgehead into spiritual growth - if you are searching for this kind of spiritual 'next steps', if you're looking for a deeper, more mature spirituality, if you are open to challenge, probably already were in the process of growing beyond the rules & dogma of your religious 'home'.

    For my very personal journey, this book and its perspectives sent me into a spiritual rabbit hole of rethinking my beliefs, connecting some dots (I did not know where connected) across religious believes, other mystic and spiritual writers and poets. This book felt like the presence of a kind & loving spiritual adviser or teacher.

    Do I recommend this? Hell, yeah! Go for it. Forget about sin, immerse into love, change your mind.
  • Cliente de Amazon
    3.0 out of 5 stars Nice but less compelling than other books from the Author
    Reviewed in Spain on March 13, 2023
    Nice but less compelling than other books from the Author, it is also quite repetitive. In any case, there are some very good moments too
  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
    Reviewed in France on July 24, 2022
    Helped to mature and see life on the light of unity and communion. Deep gratitude to this luminous soul for his contribution to the humanity spiritual welfare. For his non sectarian approach and mature wisdom which only time can hold.
  • Geraldine Gandolfo
    5.0 out of 5 stars Up to date readable, understandable theology.
    Reviewed in Australia on August 23, 2021
    Up to date readable, understandable theology. About time.