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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes Paperback – May 28, 2019

by Jessica Pan (Author)
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 2,883 ratings
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An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way.

What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life. Chronicling the author’s hilarious and painful year of misadventures, this book explores what happens when one introvert fights her natural tendencies, takes the plunge, and tries (and sometimes fails) to be a little bit braver.

 
Previous page
  1. Print length
    272 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Andrews McMeel Publishing
  4. Publication date
    May 28, 2019
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1449499236
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1449499235
  8. See all details
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From the Publisher

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Charming. Brave. Hilariously honest. Whether you buy this book for yourself, your favorite introvert, or the chatty friend you're hoping to shut up for a few solid hours, you can't go wrong with Jessica Pan's revealing and delightful memoir." 
(David Litt, New York Times bestselling author of Thanks, Obama)

"Sorry I’m Late, I Didn't Want to Come is a funny and poignant tale. I loved spending time with Jessica Pan in the pages of this book. I promise to never approach or contact her in real life." 
(A.J. Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically)

"This book is a rollicking, hilarious delight. Jessica Pan's sense of humor as she stumbles (and sometimes triumphs) in a world of extroverts is sure to appeal to introverts everywhere. The only downside is that her book about going out and meeting new people is sure to make you stay home until you finish it.”
(Jennifer Wright, author of Get Well Soon and Killer Fashion)

"Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come achieves what so many books claim (but then frankly fail) to do: making you laugh, while at the same time managing to inspire. Pan is a gem, and her introvert's exploration of extroversion is all at once delightful and deftly rendered."
(Sara Barron, author of The Harm in Asking)

"Our Favorite Nonfiction of the Year (So Far)" (Book Riot)

“Sorry I’m Late is much more personal, colloquial and intimate than other books in this bashful little genre, but it offers many of the same messages: shy people are not alone; connection is everything; being extroverted can be fun; but sometimes, curling up alone with a good book is really perfectly fine.” (The Guardian)

"Very funny, very smart" (Liberty Hardy on the Book Riot's For Real podcast)

"I loved it! It’s such a wonderful title, and the book lives up to it."
(Nigella Lawson, bestselling author of At My Table)

About the Author

JESSICA PAN is a journalist whose work has appeared in the Guardian’s Weekend magazine, The Cut, Refinery29, and Vice, among others. She has a degree in psychology from Brown University and is the coauthor of Graduates in Wonderland, an epistolary memoir about living in Beijing and Paris. She previously worked as a TV reporter and magazine editor in Beijing and now lives in London. Find her @JessicaLPan on Twitter and @JessyPanPan on Instagram.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Andrews McMeel Publishing; Standard Edition (May 28, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1449499236
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1449499235
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 2,883 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Jessica Pan

Jessica Pan

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Jessica Pan is a features writer and has appeared in the Guardian Weekend Magazine, The Cut (New York Magazine), Lenny Letter, Jezebel, ELLE, Refinery29, The Toast, The Hairpin, the Daily Telegraph and is a regular contributor to Broadly (VICE).

She is the author of SORRY I'M LATE, I DIDN'T WANT TO COME. If you'd like to keep up with new writing and updates, please subscribe to her newsletter on Substack: It'll Be Fun, They Said by Jess Pan.

She has a BA in Psychology and Literary Arts from Brown University and a Masters in Journalism from RMIT. Jessica co-authored GRADUATES IN WONDERLAND, a memoir about living in Beijing and Paris, which was published by Penguin in the US in 2014.

She previously worked as a TV reporter and magazine editor in Beijing and now lives in London.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
2,883 global ratings
Who says introverts can’t have all the fun?!? (Reads so quickly and easily, it could be fiction.)
5 Stars
Who says introverts can’t have all the fun?!? (Reads so quickly and easily, it could be fiction.)
Introverts CAN have all the fun, or at least write about it so that the rest of us can revel in it. :)Guilty: I totally picked up this book because the title made me laugh. (And the cover was cute, too.)‟I assumed that life as a shy introvert would go on this way for me forever,” Jessica Pan writes in the introduction. ‟But then, something unusual happened: I found myself roasting in a sauna, clutching a copy of Men’s Health, wearing a full-length black tracksuit, and weeping as I yelled profanities at a spa employee.‟And something had to change.”What Pan did could best be described as diving into the deep-end, in a way even extroverts find cringe-worthy and horrifying. She spent a year forcing herself out into contact with others: It was uncomfortable (and hilarious) to read.She spoke to complete strangers. She told her story in front of an audience. She performed a stand-up comedy act (not once, not twice, but three times). She did improv. And — the thing that made my skin cold — she hosted a dinner party.Here’s the thing: She survived. She learned about herself, she came to appreciate other people, and she made huge strides in overcoming her discomfort around her fellow humans.And she did it in a way that had me laughing and reading passages to my husband. For his part, he’s just glad I finished it quickly so he can go back to watching football in peace. 🙃Highly recommended: This book reads so quickly and easily, it could be fiction.
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Top reviews from the United States

STEVE
5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous book!
Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2024
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I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I read often and this is the best one I have read in a very long time! The author's insights about introversion are spot on and allowed me to really connect with her story. This book has inspired me to find ways to challenge myself and get out of my introvert comfort zone. I wholeheartedly recommend this book!
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DG_Reads
4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable memoir.
Reviewed in the United States on June 25, 2019
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SORRY I’M LATE, I DIDN’T WANT TO COME: ONE INTROVERT’S YEAR OF SAYING YES by Jessica Pan firstly has an amazing title that caught my attention! As someone who definitely has some introvert tendencies, the concept was also one that intrigued me. As the author is half Chinese, it also seemed a good pick for the memoir by a woman of color prompt for my Reading Women Month bingo board!

SORRY I’M LATE, I DIDN’T WANT TO COME follows author Jessica Pan’s journey into the world of extroverts. The memoir begins with Jessica, a self proclaimed unhappily shy introvert, without a job and without friends, living abroad in England. Jessica recognized that she needed to make a change and she spent a year seeking out ways to do so. She takes on improv and stand-up comedy, attends networking events, books a vacation to an unknown destination and joins an app where she can swipe through potential new BFFs.

The author does not claim that this is a necessary journey for all introverts and she doesn’t push the idea that people who are introverts can’t live perfectly happy and meaningful lives. This is definitely portrayed as one woman’s journey and what she learns along the way.

I found this memoir very engaging. The tone is very conversational and easy to read. It is at times very funny and at times a little painful as I could feel the author’s anxiety over situations that I would not want to face (approaching complete strangers to ask a dumb question, hopping up on stage to perform a comedy routine).

I definitely have some introvert traits, but don’t consider myself an unhappy introvert. I’ve been blessed to have fabulous friends in my life to break me out of my shell once in a while (and new book friends to help with that too) and I also recognize that I also need some down time with a good book for self care to relax.

Is this a book that is going to make me want to strike out and become more of an extrovert? No, but it really wasn’t meant to be. It definitely was a worthwhile enjoyable read!
37 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book for introverts looking to change alittle
Reviewed in the United States on January 21, 2024
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I picked this book up on sale as I am an intovert who has come along way buy would still like to go further. The title sounded exactly what I wanted to do. The book was funny and honest and gave good ideas and pointers to try. While I have done some already, other things like improv and even a comedy open mic Nighy sounds like something that may help further. I highly recommend this book to any introvert or anyone who wants to live more outside of a comfort zone
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Jes Jones
3.0 out of 5 stars Great Way to Live Vicariously
Reviewed in the United States on November 25, 2020
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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come is the true story of one introvert's dive into the pool of extroversion.

One main thing that I liked about the novel is the author isn't aiming to make anyone feel bad about living a completely introverted life. She acknowledges that in her own life that she's not the happiest and strives to branch out of her comfort zone in order to improve that. That's not only brave on the scale of actually doing it but then revealing that information to readers.

From talking to strangers, to stand-up comedy and traveling abroad solo she is able to take life by the horns by pushing back against her anxiety or, at least, shoving a sock into it's mouth. I, like many other introverts who I am sure picked up a copy, experienced heart palpitations with some of the adventures that she embarked on. Especially attempting stand-up comedy thrice.

In her writing, the author comes across as approachable, if not a bit quirky, as she tries on her extroversion shoes which contributes to the readability of the novel. It's as if you are sitting down with a new friend sharing a story.

Overall, I found it an easy read and enjoyable. Also, it's a great way to live vicariously through another introvert when you have absolutely no intentions of diving into the stress abyss to expand beyond your own comfort zone.
4 people found this helpful
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Sharon L Hughson
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and insightful
Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2024
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As an introvert, I can claim this book’s title for myself. The subtitle? Not so much.

I feared the conclusion might be that all of us introverts need to be more extroverted, and I don’t want to. I do think it would be fun to take an improv and standup comedy class. But I was a theater nerd in high school while pretending to be outgoing.

Definitely an insightful read for both introverts and extroverts. Prepare to laugh.
3 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars I did a lot of cringing
Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2024
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This woman had courage beyond my imagination. I don't think I could have done half of those challenges. Just reading about them made my palms sweat. I appreciate her bravery, insight, and analysis, though I could have done without the coarse language.
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scn
5.0 out of 5 stars Now I do not know which I am
Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2024
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Most enjoyable, informative, reading. I had laughs and shared cringe moments through Ms. Pan's words. As my review title indicates, I find that I identify with both sides on the introvert/extrovert spectrum; does that mean I am balanced or does that mean I do not know myself? Very thought provoking. Please give this book a try.
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Top reviews from other countries

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BJ
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Reviewed in Canada on January 16, 2024
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This book is me! Enjoyed every minute of the read. I felt I was there plowing through in ways other than standup comedy. Funny, gut wrenching good enjoyable informative read. Loved it!
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Taylor Bauer
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this book
Reviewed in Mexico on July 14, 2023
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This book resonated so deeply with me. I could relate to so many of the issues the author faced and it made me hopeful that I too can take steps to be more extroverted in an effort to make friends.
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Beth
5.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable read that left me feeling a bit braver
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 28, 2023
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I loved this book and have recommended it to multiple people. It kept me entertained from page one to the end. As an introvert myself I found this really relatable and thought provoking. The writer's sense of humour made it easy to stay open to the ideas she was trying to get across. A really enjoyable read that left me feeling a bit braver.
2 people found this helpful
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Melissa c.
2.0 out of 5 stars Reçu endommagé.
Reviewed in France on January 11, 2022
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Reçu il y a 5mn, j'ouvre le colis intact pour trouver un livre abîmé à l'intérieur.
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Melissa c.
2.0 out of 5 stars Reçu endommagé.
Reviewed in France on January 11, 2022
Reçu il y a 5mn, j'ouvre le colis intact pour trouver un livre abîmé à l'intérieur.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
Reviewed in Germany on January 29, 2021
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Unlike all the self-help books it is interesting and easy to read. Very funny at some points and very tense in other.
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