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Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir Paperback – May 28, 2019

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Bestselling writer and psychotherapist Irvin D. Yalom puts himself on the couch in a “candid, insightful” (Abraham Verghese) memoir​
 

Irvin D. Yalom has made a career of investigating the lives of others. In this profound memoir, he turns his writing and his therapeutic eye on himself. He opens his story with a nightmare: He is twelve, and is riding his bike past the home of an acne-scarred girl. Like every morning, he calls out, hoping to befriend her, "Hello Measles!" But in his dream, the girl's father makes Yalom understand that his daily greeting had hurt her. For Yalom, this was the birth of empathy; he would not forget the lesson. As
Becoming Myself unfolds, we see the birth of the insightful thinker whose books have been a beacon to so many. This is not simply a man's life story, Yalom's reflections on his life and development are an invitation for us to reflect on the origins of our own selves and the meanings of our lives.
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Explore the works of Irvin D. Yalom In this seminal work, American psychiatrist Irvin Yalom finds the essence of existential psychotherapy and gives it a coherent structure, synthesizing its historical background, core tenets, and usefulness to the practice. In this completely updated sixth edition, Dr. Yalom and Dr. Leszcz draw on a decade of new research on group psychotherapy as well as their broad clinical wisdom and expertise. Readers of Dr. Yalom's clinical texts will be intrigued by the fictional entries; general readers will gain a greater understanding of and appreciation for the practice of psychotherapy. A radically honest statement about the difficulties of human life, but also a celebration of some of the finest fruits — love, family, friendship — it can offer. An “utterly absorbing” collection of ten classic tales from the therapist’s chair by renowned psychiatrist and best-selling author Irvin D. Yalom (Newsday). This essential book for front-line clinicians offers new ways of conceptualizing the techniques of group therapy for use on acute wards.

Editorial Reviews

Review

One of the Guardian's best books of 2017

"When Yalom publishes something--anything--I buy it, and he never disappoints. He's an amazing storyteller, a gorgeous writer, a great, generous, compassionate thinker, and--quite rightly--one of the world's most influential mental healthcare practitioners."―
Nicola Barker, Guardian

"Fans of this eloquent and introspective author will welcome this innermost chronicle of his history, passions, and the keys to unlocking a fruitful life."―
Kirkus Reviews

"Part memoir, part diary, and part teaching tool, Yalom's autobiography is revealing, inspiring, and moving. It is well written and well organized....Yalom's warm personality permeates the pages...[a] delightful memoir."―
Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy

"In 40 chapters, from 'The Birth of Empathy' to 'A Novice at Growing Old,' the author writes with authority, energy, and humility.... An honest, engaging, and rewarding autobiography. For Yalom's admirers and those interested in the philosophy of psychology and memoirs."―
Library Journal, starred review

"Wise and warm, this memoir recounts a life well lived."―
Campus Circle

"
Becoming Myself offers a rich exploration of some of the author's favorite themes with a rare honesty, openness and generosity... But it is in the way Yalom weaves together insights and recommendations about therapeutic praxis that he is most compelling. His ideas about therapy and technique build upon a child-like curiosity and unquenchable thirst for learning about the human condition. The medium for delivery is Yalom's brilliant story-telling...and the result is a treasure trove of gems about how we can best create the kind of connection and impact that foster satisfaction and success for our patients, as well as for ourselves."―American Journal of Psychoanalysis

"I've always wondered, as any reader would wonder, about the author, about the balance between the professional and the personal and how out of that alchemy the writing emerged. Finally, in
Becoming Myself, we have the answer, and it is wonderful, compelling, and as insightful about its subject and about the times he lived in as you could hope for. A fabulous read."―Abraham Verghese, author of The Covenant of Water and Cutting for Stone

"Near the end of
Becoming Myself, Irvin Yalom claims to be 'a novice at growing old'--to which I say, 'Oh, please!--you're as good at it as you have been at everything else.' This is a candid, insightful memoir by one of the world's most important and accomplished experts on the human soul."―Daniel Menaker, author of The Treatment and My Mistake: A Memoir

"Irv Yalom is the psychiatrist who thinks like a philosopher and writes like the fine novelist he also happens to be.
Becoming Myself delivers not only the engrossing story of one exceptional individual's life. It shines with revelations regarding life as it ought to be lived."―Rebecca Newberger Goldstein, author of Plato at the Googleplex

"I loved reading
Becoming Myself, having been a huge fan of Irvin D. Yalom for many years. This is the book we've been waiting for from him, his own deep journey into the self.... This is a book to read and reread for years to come, a memorable journey through Yalom's time and ours."―Jay Parini, author of The Last Station and Borges and Me

About the Author

Irvin D. Yalom, MD, is professor emeritus of psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He was the recipient of the 1974 Edward Strecker Award and the 1979 Foundations' Fund Prize in Psychiatry. He is the author of When Nietzsche Wept (winner of the 1993 Commonwealth Club gold medal for fiction); Love's Executioner, a memoir; Becoming Myself, a group therapy novel; The Schopenhauer Cure; and the classic textbooks Inpatient Group Psychotherapy and Existential Psychotherapy, among many other books. He lives in Palo Alto, California.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Basic Books; Reprint edition (May 28, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1541698991
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1541698994
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.7 x 1.1 x 8.3 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,587 ratings

About the author

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Irvin D. Yalom
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Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University. Author of nonfiction psychiatry texts, novels, and books of stories. Currently in private practice of psychiatry in Palo Alto and San Francisco, California.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,587 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book insightful and relatable. They praise the writing quality as phenomenal and well-written. The narrative style is described as compelling and satisfying. Readers appreciate the author's honesty, genuineness, and courage. They describe the memoir as revealing in unexpected ways and self-disclosing.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

46 customers mention "Insight"46 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and relatable. They appreciate the author's encyclopedic knowledge and empathy. The book provides a powerful example of what it means to be fully self-aware. Readers describe the author as intelligent, honest, and well-read.

"...including: The Schopenhauer Cure, The Gift of Therapy, Concise Guide to Group Psychotherapy, Lying on the Couch, Momma and the Meaning of Life, and..." Read more

"...We have in Dr. Yalom's memoir a great documentation of our shared history, humanity and few regrets." Read more

"...and meaning in life Yalom, through this book Becoming Myself, is a reliable and engaging conversation partner. He writes clearly...." Read more

"...Within the Memoir, Dr. Yalom offers revealing insight into his conceptualization of his many books and the beautiful retreats where he wrote in..." Read more

43 customers mention "Readability"43 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and insightful. They describe it as a must-read for Yalom enthusiasts, and a good read for all generations. The personal plots are appreciated.

"...his mother in particular, it is noteworthy that the author dedicates the book to their memory, as well as to the memory of his sister, about whom we..." Read more

"Good - and Yalom is always worth reading...." Read more

"...A must read for every generation and a book so inspiring it will never collect dust!" Read more

"...I can never do justice to the contents of the book since it so well done. I am thankful I stumbled across it." Read more

37 customers mention "Writing quality"37 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the author's writing style. They find the memoir well-written and insightful. Readers praise the author's respectful writing style and mention that it's a beautiful memoir from a remarkable man.

"...His story is not only inspirational but an impeccable read. I will be reading his other works." Read more

"...he covers the same zeitgeist as experienced by my generation, with better writing and greater depth of understanding than most of us could produce...." Read more

"...He writes clearly. He writes respectfully of others (his relationship with Rollo May is described warmly)...." Read more

"...his conceptualization of his many books and the beautiful retreats where he wrote in solitude. I will surely re-read them with that in mind...." Read more

30 customers mention "Narrative style"27 positive3 negative

Customers find the narrative style engaging and well-written. They appreciate the candid storytelling and insights into the author's life. The book is described as a heartfelt memoir with touching stories.

"...Yalom tells stories, shares the importance of his dreams and those of his patients, his ways of doing therapy and his journey from 1930’s Washington..." Read more

"...His story is not only inspirational but an impeccable read. I will be reading his other works." Read more

"Beautiful, thoughtful writing, fascinating life, lots of cool insights...." Read more

"...This is the most autobiographical of his books though many of his non-fiction works represent his values, his approach and how he has created a..." Read more

12 customers mention "Authenticity"12 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the author's authenticity. They find the book honest, insightful, and moving. Readers praise the author's genuineness, courage, and compassion.

"...But I loved reading about his journey. And his honesty. Thanks. I am now going in search of the doc Yalom’s Cure." Read more

"...regret, love, anxiety, loyalty, perseverance, but most of all…honesty...." Read more

"...of psychology, Becoming Myself is relatable, entertaining, and remarkably authentic...." Read more

"...should be reading Yalom and learning from his intelligence, genuineness, courageousness, and compassion for those whose lives he touches...." Read more

5 customers mention "Revealing"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book revealing in unexpected ways. They say the author is genuine and self-disclosing like never before. The book is described as honest, warm, and genuine.

"...book he has written, and this memoir makes them all the more vivid, revealing, and understandable...." Read more

"...Yalom is very honest, not holding back, not hiding, ego-free and without inhibition...." Read more

"...titans of psychiatry (and I would argue philosophy) that is revealing in unexpected ways, profoundly tender, and insightful...." Read more

"...Yalom kept my interest in every page, exposing himself like never before." Read more

5 customers mention "Touch"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book touching, intimate, and insightful. They describe it as tender and moving in unexpected ways.

"...In this memoir, Yalom gives his audience an intimate and engaging window into the way he thinks, feels, and lives his life...." Read more

"Dr. Yalom's memoir is insightful, brilliant, and touching...." Read more

"...that is revealing in unexpected ways, profoundly tender, and insightful...." Read more

"Touching, inspiring and intense! This is a must read for the Yalom enthusiast." Read more

9 customers mention "Enthralling"3 positive6 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book. Some find it engaging and relatable, while others feel it gets boring and uninspiring.

"...of the book which deals with his work, writing, lectures etc, less engaging...." Read more

"...raised in the world of psychology, Becoming Myself is relatable, entertaining, and remarkably authentic...." Read more

"I liked reading about the author's younger years. Gets rather boring....as he ages. But that's life, isn't it?..." Read more

"...Not terribly interesting. Much more about what he became, than how he became that (except in the most superficial and literal of ways)." Read more

An deeper awareness of life s precious transiency.
5 out of 5 stars
An deeper awareness of life s precious transiency.
On many occasions I have employed an explicit exercise: I ask the patient to draw a line on a sheet of paper, and then I say, Let one end represent your birth and the other end your death. Now please place a mark on the line to denote where you are now and meditate on that diagram."
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2018
    A Psychiatrist’s Well Lived Life
    Irvin D. Yalom. “Becoming Myself. A Psychiatrist’s Memoir.” New York: Basic Books, 2017.
    I like books written by mental health clinicians who have lived a full life, and use their wealth of experience to tell us informative stories. Yalom tells stories, shares the importance of his dreams and those of his patients, his ways of doing therapy and his journey from 1930’s Washington D.C. to present day Palo Alto – along with his side trips around the world, not to mention all the remarkable people he met.
    At 85 years of age, Yalom still sees patients, consults, writes --- and has much to say in this wonderful memoir.
    He is an emeritus professor of psychiatry at Stanford University in Palo, Alto California. He has authored many books including: The Schopenhauer Cure, The Gift of Therapy, Concise Guide to Group Psychotherapy, Lying on the Couch, Momma and the Meaning of Life, and Existential Therapy.
    My favorite part of his memoir is when he discusses his ideas about his book Existential Therapy – a book I treasure. Before reading Yalom’s Existential Therapy book I found readings on existential philosophy filled with barbed wire prose.
    But not Yalom --- he steeped himself in the writings of Rollo May, among other existential writers --- and even entered therapy with May. Yalom writes: “I gradually drifted away from my original affiliation with medical science and began grounding myself in the humanities…I embraced Nietzsche, Sartre, Camus, Schopenhauer, and Epicurus…Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Beckett, Kundera…”
    For example, Yalom focused on death anxiety, and started a group for females with breast cancer – to confront his own fears and help others. Yalom writes about one of his patients who said: “What a pity I had to wait until now, until my body was riddled with cancer, to learn to how to live.”
    Yalom says the above phrase took up permanent residence in his mind and helped shape his practice of existential therapy. Yalom writes: “though the reality of death may destroy us, the idea of death may save us. It brings home the realization that since we have only one chance at life, we should live it fully and end it with the fewest of regrets possible.”
    Yalom divided his book on existential therapy in four sections: the ultimate concerns: death, freedom, isolation and meaning. He confronts our anxieties about death --- drawing on the works of philosophers and writers, and his work with dying patients. He takes up freedom as the ultimate concern of many existential thinkers---a freedom that demands we are the authors of our own lives and must take responsibility for our actions. For Yalom, isolation is not interpersonal isolation but the idea that we are each thrown alone into the world and depart alone. He discusses isolation by focusing on the therapist-patient relationship --- examines our wishes to fuse with another and our fear of individuation. His 4th concern, meaning, touches on such questions as “What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What sense does life have?
    23 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2024
    I couldn't help but idolize Yalom through the process of reading his book. His story is not only inspirational but an impeccable read. I will be reading his other works.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 14, 2020
    On a friend’s recommendation, I read Yalom’s memoir, which began as memoir then lapsed into autobiography. Yalom enjoyed an interesting life. Though the autobiographical parts were less satisfying, I read the entire book avidly and was sad at the end—sad the book was over and sad for the author. All his life, he pursued his interests and as an adult spent a great deal of time in therapy, pursuing honesty and meaning. Yet, as an existentialist, he eschewed faith. Written at age eighty-five, his memoir seemed colored not so much by becoming himself but by his professional accomplishments and fear of death, fear of retirement, fear of true reflection. Fear of the very thing he’d searched for all his life.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2018
    Beautiful, thoughtful writing, fascinating life, lots of cool insights. I have a BA in Philosophy from UC Berkeley (1967) and I appreciate Dr. Yalom's study of and appreciation for the cool dudes of philosophy. I love all Dr. Yalom's books. Reading his memoir, I was able to revisit some of my favorite old haunts because Yalom lives in Palo Alto and I used to live in Redwood City and ride my bike around the Stanford campus. The Stanford University Bookstore was a favorite stop because it has a great selection of books by its wonderful faculty. I used to ride to the art cinema in Palo Alto and get an ice cream cone so I have fond memories of that little village where he lives. I also lived in Hawaii for a couple of years and in Greece for a year as did Dr. Yalom. Even though I never met Dr. Yalom, he covers the same zeitgeist as experienced by my generation, with better writing and greater depth of understanding than most of us could produce. We have in Dr. Yalom's memoir a great documentation of our shared history, humanity and few regrets.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 26, 2017
    Becoming Myself is another effective book by Dr. Irvin Yalom. This is the most autobiographical of his books though many of his non-fiction works represent his values, his approach and how he has created a coherent if sometimes iconoclastic framework for psychotherapy. Many things stand out: how he responded as a child to the religion of his family of origin, how he did not align with any number of popular theories of human development and therapeutic schools of thoughts, and his interest in group dynamics.

    In several of his books, Yalom writes about his non-religious stance to life. At the same time, he respects the way religious beliefs can be helpful to some who find solace and strength in such beliefs. As a minister, I respect his view. He approaches many of existential questions that religious asks but from a different worldview. If you are interested in questions about purpose and meaning in life Yalom, through this book Becoming Myself, is a reliable and engaging conversation partner.

    He writes clearly. He writes respectfully of others (his relationship with Rollo May is described warmly). He is a careful, thoughtful and deep thinker.
    7 people found this helpful
    Report

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  • Sandra
    5.0 out of 5 stars great quality, quick shipping!
    Reviewed in Canada on November 16, 2024
    great quality, quick shipping!
  • Sylvia
    5.0 out of 5 stars a recount of a plentiful, exciting and above all a most successful professional iLife as a psychiatrist and writer, so helpful to read as I am approaching the last third of my life too- thank you😊
    Reviewed in Germany on November 27, 2024
    a most helpful memoir for our own journey of „ becoming ourselves“ as we are growing older and closer to death😊
  • Rogério da Veiga
    5.0 out of 5 stars Maravilhoso...
    Reviewed in Brazil on November 30, 2019
    Acompanhar a vida e o momento onde cada livro surgiu, o contexto, a história de cada história... um privilégio. Yalom vive sua vida de uma forma inspiradora, e seus livros nos permitem, se estive4mos dispostos a fazer o trabalho de casa, também avançarmos no propósito de nos tornar mais nós mesmos.
  • AriWGomez
    5.0 out of 5 stars Para seguidores de Yalom
    Reviewed in Spain on February 25, 2019
    A mi me encanta el autor por eso tengo todos sus libros. Lo que me llama la atención es que no haya una traducción al español, pero bueno no me viene mal practicar la lectura en inglés.
  • Philippe Jacques
    5.0 out of 5 stars Encore un très bon livre de I Yalom
    Reviewed in France on May 7, 2019
    Psychiatre, psychothérapeute mais surtout conteur. Yalom refait le coup d'un livre passionnant et émouvant à lire. A la tombée de la nuit.