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Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time Paperback – January 6, 2004

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 2,243 ratings

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Fully revised and updated—the national bestselling communication skills guide that will help you achieve personal and professional success one conversation at a time.

The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants you to succeed. To do that, she explains, you must transform everyday conversations at work and at home with effective ways to get your message across—and get what you want. In this guide, which includes a workbook and The Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations, Scott teaches you how to:

• Overcome barriers to meaningful communication
• Expand and enrich relationships with colleagues, friends, and family
• Increase clarity and improve understanding
• Handle strong emotions—on both sides of the table
• Connect with colleagues, customers and family at a deep level

Includes a Foreword by Ken Blanchard, the bestselling co-author of The One Minute Manager
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“A reminder that ‘the way out is through,’…she provides great techniques for navigating the passage.”—David Allen, New York Times bestselling author of Getting Things Done
 
“A life-affirming primer for moving us toward the conversations we need to have most.”—Doug Stone,
New York Times bestselling coauthor of Difficult Conversations
 
“Those whose conversations with co-workers or family members aren’t producing the results they want will find plenty of helpful tools and assignments in this succinct guide.”—
Publishers Weekly
 
“Scott’s workbook exercises will allow readers to have effective, life-changing fierce conversations of their own.”—
Booklist

About the Author

Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. For fourteen years, she ran think tanks and seminars for business leaders through TEC International, an organization dedicated to increasing the effectiveness and enhancing the lives of CEOS around the world. Scott has extensive experience assisting companies with mission, vision, values, leadership development, cultural transformation, strategic planning, and executive coaching.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0425193373
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berkley; Reprint edition (January 6, 2004)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780425193372
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0425193372
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.98 x 0.81 x 8.98 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 2,243 ratings

About the author

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Susan Scott
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Bestselling author Susan Scott has been working as a leadership development architect for more than two decades. She is the founder of Fierce, Inc., a global training company that helps Global 1000 companies generate significant results by transforming the conversations central to their success. Fierce, Inc.'s clients include Yahoo, Starbucks, Cisco, Nestle, and Coca-Cola. She lives in Seattle, Washington.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
2,243 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides great insights and wisdom that help them at work and in real life. They describe it as an amazing, easy read with clear instructions for applying the principles. The book helps them improve their communication skills and make conversations more effective. Readers find the book simple and easy to understand, and say it's a must-have for leaders of all types. They mention it's effective and powerful, making it easier to be productive. Overall, customers find the style approachable and the advice useful.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

151 customers mention "Information quality"147 positive4 negative

Customers find the book provides insightful and practical advice. They say it helps them at work and in real life. The content teaches the value of planning and practicing for challenging conversations. Readers also mention the book inspires meaningful self-reflection and is an excellent resource for anyone.

"...They are: Master the courage to interrogate reality, Come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real, Be here, prepared to be nowhere..." Read more

"...you’ve read this if you’re looking for something to inspire meaningful self-reflection on your life, work, and relationships." Read more

"...I got it for work, but it actually works for relationship and having Tough conversations with anyone" Read more

"...easy read with many stories and illustrations that provides good guidance for having the tough, difficult, brutally honest conversations that need..." Read more

145 customers mention "Readability"145 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to follow and engaging. They say it helps them at work and in their personal lives. The content is thorough, honest, and engaging. However, some readers mention the book is long and needs to be read slowly and often.

"...Susan Scott has written a wonderful book that address the importance of having real conversations and then tells you how to make sure you can pull..." Read more

"...Definitely worth your read...." Read more

"This book was an amazing book to read. I got it for work, but it actually works for relationship and having Tough conversations with anyone" Read more

"This book provided several great take-aways regarding the importance of having great, thorough and honest conversations that allow you to feel a..." Read more

79 customers mention "Communication skills"79 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for improving communication skills. They say it helps them change their approach to conversations and apply the principles to personal relationships as well. Readers mention that Susan Scott challenges them to have tough conversations.

"...to interrogate reality, Come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real, Be here, prepared to be nowhere else, Tackle your toughest..." Read more

"...What I appreciate about Scott is she challenges us to have the tough conversations. Interrogate reality so you can get to ground truth...." Read more

"...I got it for work, but it actually works for relationship and having Tough conversations with anyone" Read more

"...-aways regarding the importance of having great, thorough and honest conversations that allow you to feel a remarkable sense of integrity and self-..." Read more

48 customers mention "Ease of read"41 positive7 negative

Customers find the book easy to understand, remember, and apply. They appreciate the clear instructions and simple approach to difficult situations. While some readers recommend reading it slowly and often, others find it useful for work purposes.

"...The book is well written, easy to read with lots of helpful examples...." Read more

"...have the conversation that is needed and it does so by also offering great instructions for how to do so, even when the conversation is difficult...." Read more

"...This is a long book and needs to be read slowly and often and with a notebook handy! I equate it to a college class on communication!..." Read more

"...Susan has a way of taking the complicated and making it so simple and effective that it works...." Read more

23 customers mention "Leadership"23 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for leaders who have difficulty communicating effectively. It inspires them to be intentional and effective in conversations with family. Readers mention it gives them more courage to lead in a way that is more effective and profound, both in the personal and professional realms. They also appreciate the 7 principles that are of utmost importance to drive individual and organizational success.

"...has written a companion book that I also highly recommend - Fierce Leadership - check it out." Read more

"...It covers the 7 principles that are of the utmost importance to drive individual and organizational success...." Read more

"...the surface at work and at home to have meaningful, life-changing talks with co-workers, your boss, your family and a significant other...." Read more

"...The author and her organization are well recognized and highly successful executive coaches...." Read more

18 customers mention "Effectiveness"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's skills effective and productive. They say it would be less stressful and more productive if these skills were used.

"...The book does a marvelous job of discussing how to truly have fierce conversations...." Read more

"In an exceptionally engaging and effective manner this book teaches the merits of planning for, rehearsing and then conducting vulnerable..." Read more

"...Each time to a high level of effectiveness that honors my team and helps move my company forward...." Read more

"...No more masks! Very liberating and it works!" Read more

9 customers mention "Style"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's style approachable and bold. They appreciate the real-life situations and illustrations that provide useful guidance. The advice is incisive, simple, and actionable, making it an essential read for both business and personal life.

"...Chapter 6, which is a beautiful summary of how to note our emotional wake)...." Read more

"...Overall, it is an easy read with many stories and illustrations that provides good guidance for having the tough, difficult, brutally honest..." Read more

"...And it's not a self-help book or a therapy book. It's a distinctively honest look at being honest with one's self and the people with whom one is..." Read more

"In an age of communication avalanche, this stands out for its incisiveness, simplicity and action-abilty for everyone - Everyone we know and care..." Read more

11 customers mention "Humor"6 positive5 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the humor in the book. Some find it entertaining and well-written, while others find it boring and self-serving. The book is considered relevant and helpful, but not groundbreaking.

"...deep forward movement as a human, this book will make you think, laugh, roll your eyes, and most importantly, spend time in deep conversation with..." Read more

"...Not groundbreaking as a book, but well thought out chapters on how to move past the surface at work and at home to have meaningful, life-changing..." Read more

"...She also has a sense of humor and drops in little gems of wisdom throughout the book that I use all the time...." Read more

"...Most of the stories were fairly entertaining, but I felt the book was 90% fluff. I would not recommend this book." Read more

A Must-Have for Every Leader, Aspiring Leader, and Trainer/Coach
5 out of 5 stars
A Must-Have for Every Leader, Aspiring Leader, and Trainer/Coach
This book definitely falls into my TOP 5 all time leadership and communication books! It has significantly helped me both professionally and personally. It’s concepts are direct yet sensitive, practical yet innovative, and a joy to read. It also includes some exercises and templates inside. Enjoy! As you can see, I refer back to it on an ongoing basis, as the picture shows! Thanks for this gem Susan!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on November 2, 2009
    If your relationships at home or work could use improvement, then this is a must read book. The title is probably a little misleading and perhaps intimidating. After all, most people I know do not like confrontation. And the title sounds like you will be having toe to toe, screaming matches. But a fierce conversation is not about who can shout the loudest.

    The book is based on the fundamental truth that most of the time we have polite conversations rather than real ones. We talk about things that are safe rather than the things that really need to be talked about.

    Susan Scott has written a wonderful book that address the importance of having real conversations and then tells you how to make sure you can pull them off.

    For starters, she says the purpose of a fierce conversation is to
    interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges and enrich relationships." The last point is so important. Lots of people have tough conversations but often these cause the relationship to deteriorate.

    If you follow the steps, you will not only talk through the tough issues, you will build better relationships. This is true for work relationships as well as personal relationships.

    Scott addresses five different types of conversations. They are: team conversations, coaching conversations, delegation conversations and confrontational conversations. And she gives the model and example for each.

    Susan gives seven principles to guide a person in their fierce conversations. They are: Master the courage to interrogate reality, Come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real, Be here, prepared to be nowhere else, Tackle your toughest challenge today, Obey your instincts, Take responsibility for your own wake and Let silence do the heavy lifting.

    I do not know anyone who uses silence as they should. Most people are too eager to tell their story, show how much they know, they forget to let silence into the conversation.

    The book does a marvelous job of discussing how to truly have fierce conversations. But an underlying theme of the book is that most conversations are with your self. On occasions, other people are involved. If you want to truly master fierce conversations, you must master them with your self first.

    It is not a book to just read and file away. This is a book you need to keep handy, refer to often. The appendix has some wonderful worksheets and questions and there is a User's Guide at the end.

    The book is well written, easy to read with lots of helpful examples. If you implement just a portion of the wisdom in this book, it will change your life.

    The big lesson is to interrogate reality in all your conversations. What are you pretending not to know? What are you afraid to discuss with your boss/ co-worker or spouse?

    A polite conversation is a failed conversation because you did not talk about the issues that are crying to be addressed.

    Truly a life changing book. Susan has written a companion book that I also highly recommend - Fierce Leadership - check it out.
    25 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2018
    How often do you walk away from a conversation having talked around an issue, but not about it? How often do you not fully share your thoughts? How often is this conversation with yourself?

    These questions form the heart of Susan Scott’s book, where she challenges us to step into Fierce Conversations with others and ourselves. At its core, Scott challenges us to interrogate reality and talk about the things that are most important, assuming (rightly, I believe) that we often avoid doing this to our own and others detriment. She outlines four key components that form the structure of this book. Interrogate reality. Provoke learning. Tackle tough issues. Enrich Relationships.

    Take one (of many) insights as an example of what you might appreciate about this book: Ground Truth. As Scott references, Ground truth is an old military term, referring to what is really going on on the ground as opposed to what officials are talking about back in the strategy room. As one might imagine, these are often different, sometimes vastly different! Think of this as the talk after the meeting around the water cooler, the things that are rarely brought up during the actual meeting. Stated truth and ground truth are often misaligned.

    In my own life I have to admit that ground truth can be hard to come by. How often do I really express fully what I’m thinking to friends or family? How often do I hold back my full thoughts at work or in meetings? How often do I have things that really need to be said, but avoid saying them for fear of safety or that the other person wouldn’t care.

    What I appreciate about Scott is she challenges us to have the tough conversations. Interrogate reality so you can get to ground truth. This isn’t easy, and by no means does she advocate that we shouldn’t be thoughtful about how we communicate this (cf. Chapter 6, which is a beautiful summary of how to note our emotional wake). But I think most of us, or at least myself, avoid many ground truth conversations and opt into not talking about the hard things. Scott inspires me to have more hard conversations, because often you have to go through those hard conversations to get to richer, fuller relationships. And, it is impossible to make the best decisions in work without ground truth. We’re literally shooting ourselves in the foot when we don’t show up with all of ourselves and our ideas at work.

    Other things you may get out of this book:

    Living life in personal integrity
    The power of shared vision at work
    Tips and outlines of how to effectively engage in difficult conversations
    The power of understanding our emotional wake

    Definitely worth your read. You won’t be sorry you’ve read this if you’re looking for something to inspire meaningful self-reflection on your life, work, and relationships.
    18 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 23, 2024
    This book was an amazing book to read. I got it for work, but it actually works for relationship and having Tough conversations with anyone
    2 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • Ger.
    2.0 out of 5 stars Great ideas but repetitive and has errors
    Reviewed in Mexico on September 3, 2024
    I really enjoyed Susan’s ideas, I will be applying some of them in my personal and professional life. It is a bit repetitive but the worst part of this book, at least this version, has to be the numerous gramatical errors, I hope this can be fixed in future editions.
  • Jonny
    5.0 out of 5 stars excellent!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 27, 2024
    The most useful book I have read in years.
  • Jackie in BC
    5.0 out of 5 stars Worth Reading, Worth Sharing
    Reviewed in Canada on March 14, 2019
    In the age we live in we need to move out of adversarial positions and learn to collaborate. This book is a great tool! If we dealt with conflicts in the way suggested, they could be dealt with before they create major divisions in a marriage, friendship, business or organisation, etc. Will give this book to friends and colleagues.
  • Francesco
    5.0 out of 5 stars Really Amazing Book
    Reviewed in Italy on August 26, 2019
    This book was really amazing, it helped lot in Communication and some of Internal Training between department, it's also good in life because it will teach you some little tips, to work on, and some things that you retain obvious will be more focussed. Shipment and Everything was on time. (my first order)
  • Amazon Customer
    1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
    Reviewed in India on July 18, 2017
    The product hasn't been delivered to me till date though its been more than a month i have ordered