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Bruised Hardcover – March 23, 2021
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Whip It meets We Are Okay in this vibrant coming-of-age story about a teen girl navigating first love, identity, and grief as she immerses herself in the colorful, brutal, beautiful world of roller derby—from the acclaimed author of Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens.
To Daya Wijesinghe, a bruise is a mixture of comfort and control. Since her parents died in an accident she survived, bruises have become a way to keep her pain on the surface of her skin so she doesn’t need to deal with the ache deep in her heart.
So when chance and circumstances bring her to a roller derby bout, Daya is hooked. Yes, the rules are confusing and the sport seems to require the kind of teamwork and human interaction Daya generally avoids. But the opportunities to bruise are countless, and Daya realizes that if she’s going to keep her emotional pain at bay, she’ll need all the opportunities she can get.
The deeper Daya immerses herself into the world of roller derby, though, the more she realizes it’s not the simple physical pain-fest she was hoping for. Her rough-and-tumble teammates and their fans push her limits in ways she never imagined, bringing Daya to big truths about love, loss, strength, and healing.
- Print length336 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherSimon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
- Publication dateMarch 23, 2021
- Grade level9 and up
- Reading age14 years and up
- Dimensions5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
- ISBN-101534455027
- ISBN-13978-1534455023
- Lexile measure850L
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Editorial Reviews
From School Library Journal
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“Boteju writes with acumen about the roller-coaster ride of being a teenager. . . . A searing portrait of self-discovery; soulful and captivating.” —Kirkus Reviews
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Endless stippling spread across my bedroom ceiling, tiny bumps of white pushing back at me like thousands of stubby, pointing fingers.
Fuck you, stubby bumps.
Lying faceup on my bed, I glared hard at the ceiling for a few moments before extending my left arm above me and bringing my hand down—hard—against my headboard. The ritual, started a year and a half ago, sent a familiar sting through my palm, a kind of shield against the day ahead. I’d feel the bruising every time I held a mug or grabbed my backpack strap, whenever I pushed open a door, clutched an apple. The pain was something to focus on—like a messed-up stress ball to squeeze whenever I needed it.
I wasn’t proud of this thing I’d come to depend on—far from it—but the need to do it was so overwhelming sometimes that knowing I’d feel shitty about it afterward wasn’t enough to stop me from doing it. It was protection against other people discovering all the rot in my gut. It was punishment. It was proof I could handle everything on my own.
I forced myself out from the covers and placed my feet on the carpet. Fall air slipped through my open window, crisp and biting.
For a moment, I let the chill lift my skin into goose bumps and stared at my bare thighs spreading across the edge of the mattress. Two quarter-size bruises decorated the middle of my left thigh, and a larger one curved around the outside of my right. I lifted my feet into the air and admired a shin bruise from a week ago. The bruise was barely visible now, its darkness lightening and almost hidden against my brown skin. But I knew it was still there from the painful tenderness when I pressed my fingers into it, which I did now, closing my eyes to let the pain sink in.
“Daya Doo Wop! It’s almost eight and you can’t be late again! It’s still September and you’ve been in detention once already… remember?”
Jesus.
My uncle’s singsongy voice surged through both my bedroom door and my quiet moment, each sentence rising into a high note. He knew better than to come in, but he still thought these cheerful reminders would help get me going faster.
“I’m up!” I called back, swallowing back the other words constantly threatening to escape from my mouth: Leave. Me. Alone.
Handling my uncle and aunt demanded a balancing act: Keep our interactions light and consistent so they didn’t worry about me, but discourage excessive interaction in case they mistook it for intimacy. Keep my head above water at school, but not so far above that they got excited about my prospects. Date boys like a “normal teenage girl,” but not for too long and not the type my aunt and uncle would approve of. Go to counseling, but only to make them feel better. Get involved, but not too involved.
I listened as Uncle Priam’s footsteps receded down the hallway, practically skipping across the hardwood. He and Aunt Vicki were now my official guardians. The paperwork had been finalized recently, after a painful, slow process following my parents’ deaths. Priam was my dad’s brother, but I’m sure when my parents named him and my aunt my godparents, Priam and Vicki never thought they’d actually have to take me into their home and look after me.
That’s just what they’ve been doing these past many months, though. And they must have learned their version of parenting in theater school, where they met, because I felt like I was in an epic musical most of the time.
P.S. I hate musicals.
If my uncle and aunt weren’t singing duets at the dinner table, they were playing dress-up. They were forever trying to get me to watch all these old-timey musicals on TV with them, and a while ago they’d tried to give me singing lessons for my birthday. I pretended to go for six weeks, but in reality I was at the skateboard park.
It was clear we didn’t get each other. So my balancing act was as much for them as it was for me—aim for coexistence and not much more. Don’t waste their time or mine.
I stood up and stretched, my body aching from an extra-long skateboarding session the day before. Skateboarding kept me muscular, and having more muscle meant experiencing more soreness, which was perfect for me. I lived for that ache. And I liked seeing my body stay thick and strong too. My muscles made me feel like I could defend myself—but also invite pain when I needed to. I pulled on my jeans and hoodie, both protecting and preparing myself for the day ahead.
Product details
- Publisher : Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers (March 23, 2021)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 336 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1534455027
- ISBN-13 : 978-1534455023
- Reading age : 14 years and up
- Lexile measure : 850L
- Grade level : 9 and up
- Item Weight : 1 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,197,815 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Serious yet fun - a worthwhile read
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2023An amazing story about an incredible journey taken by one adventurous & strong yet awkward & stifled young woman driven & defined by grief & blame. Self-harm the only way to transform the intolerable emotional pain into a more manageable physical one may lead her to a better way of living —or at least more bruises.
Knowing the power in debilitating pain so overwhelming that just to escape it for even a moment you are willing to physically destroy yourself is to recognize, remember & relate to the characters, storylines, darkness, self-deprecating, self-destruction that these three stories so accurately potrayed, detailed & expressed. Outstandingly excellent job putting words that relate the unexplainable & expresses the unfathomable to those who haven't been there themselves.
- Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2021Bruised by Tanya Boteju is a heavier read than I would normally gravitate to, but I enjoyed every page. This one is a great introduction to roller derby, and I loved being immersed in this fast-paced world. The main character is tough, but as the book progresses, she learns to embrace different forms of strength. I would recommend this one to those looking for a more serious coming-of-age story.
As a way of coping with the loss of her parents, Daya joins a roller derby term in hopes of externalizing her pain rather than dealing with it emotionally. The sport is unfamiliar to her, and she has never played on a team before, which pushes her to her limits in unexpected ways–both physically and mentally. I have never read a book about roller derby before, and it was really interesting to explore this world along with Daya. The dynamic cast of side characters who make up the Killa Honeys is also a highlight.
❀ COMPLEX MAIN CHARACTER
Daya is a complex character, and I loved her growth. She is incredibly strong, but when we meet her, she is closed off after suffering a tremendous loss. While her ways of coping are unhealthy, it is easy to root for her, and to understand where her actions are coming from. As the book progresses, Daya discovers a different side of herself and learns to be part of a team, beginning a gradual path towards healing.
❀ POWERFUL MESSAGE
Throughout this book is a powerful message about toughness. To Daya, vulnerability is a weakness, as she has been conditioned to be strong her entire life. However, as she gets to know the Killa Honeys, she starts to learn that softness is a different kind of strength in itself. In fact, her raw toughness can be considered a weakness. It is so moving to watch Daya come to recognize the softness in herself, and she doesn’t become any less tough because of it.
❀ A STORY ABOUT GRIEF AND SELF-DISCOVERY
Bruised by Tanya Boteju is a story about grief and self-discovery. I loved the topic of roller derby, and the main character is well-developed. The book’s message about different forms of strength further enriches the narrative. Those looking for a heavier yet accessible read about the world of roller derby will enjoy this one.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2021Daya Wijesinghe is conflicted by her father's values of developing emotional and physical strength to survive in the world. She faces the unspeakable loss of her parents as she struggles to cope without feeling weak. The novel is insightful about the psychology behind self-harm which helps the reader understand the dynamics of physical pain to avoid emotional pain. I love the diverse cast of characters and unforgettable personalities as we follow Daya's harrowing journey of healing, love, and friendships.
The characters ring authentic as well as relatable. The story's tension is high because the cycle of self-harm is hard to break. However, I like how Daya channels her pain into something indirectly productive –– vital for her well-being and growth. The story is unpredictable, and the narrative voice is a pleasure to read. Despite the serious topic, there is lots of humor and exciting insight into roller derby culture, which is so cool.
I want to be a roller derby girl and highly recommend this book!
5.0 out of 5 stars Serious yet fun - a worthwhile readDaya Wijesinghe is conflicted by her father's values of developing emotional and physical strength to survive in the world. She faces the unspeakable loss of her parents as she struggles to cope without feeling weak. The novel is insightful about the psychology behind self-harm which helps the reader understand the dynamics of physical pain to avoid emotional pain. I love the diverse cast of characters and unforgettable personalities as we follow Daya's harrowing journey of healing, love, and friendships.
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2021
The characters ring authentic as well as relatable. The story's tension is high because the cycle of self-harm is hard to break. However, I like how Daya channels her pain into something indirectly productive –– vital for her well-being and growth. The story is unpredictable, and the narrative voice is a pleasure to read. Despite the serious topic, there is lots of humor and exciting insight into roller derby culture, which is so cool.
I want to be a roller derby girl and highly recommend this book!
Images in this review - Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2021I received an ARC from Netgalley and Simon and Schuster and this is my honest review.
This was a highly emotional read and I must admit that there were hilarious moments in it but there was a lot of angst and drama to get through as well. I was drawn to this story because I didn't know anything about roller derby and I was definitely curious and what made this story even more appealing to me was the fact that there were queer, young-adult people of color in this story.
My heart really went out to Daya because she has lost her parents in a car accident and she turned to self-harm as a way of coping with their untimely demise. However, I felt as though self-harm was being glorified a lot because most of the story portrayed Daya's intense joy whenever she was being physically hurt by her own actions and by others. In spite of that, I must admit that there is definitely a powerful message within this story because Daya eventually learned how to deal with her grief and she also learned that there are different kinds of strength and she even falls for a wonderful girl named Shanti (I think she has the biggest heart ever!) I was thoroughly entertained by the side characters on the Killa Honeys roller derby team and I have so much love for Fee and Caihong, Daya's friends from the skateboard park. I also loved the way Daya found her new "chosen family" in the company of the Killa Honeys roller derby team, especially when she least expected it.
Without a doubt, this is a poignant young-adult novel, however, I couldn't get into the story and fully connect with Daya. I really wished the author had focused more on Daya's healing and her coming to terms with her parents' death because most of the story was focused on Daya's anger, frustration and self-harm.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2023This book is SO GOOD! I couldn’t stop reading, it was powerful and cool and the characters really pulled me in. I like how they weren’t perfect. Very loveable book.
Top reviews from other countries
- Della BReviewed in Canada on January 21, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars so much more than roller derby
Bruised is so much more than a novel about roller derby. It is a deep and thoughtful look at survivor’s guilt of an eighteen year old after loosing her parents in a car accident. It is convincingly written through the POV of a young woman dealing with her guilt through self harm. I am blown away by the story and know others will be too.
- MDReviewed in the United Kingdom on April 9, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars A story about pain and healing
This is the first book I’ve read that acknowledges one of the ‘less common’ forms of self-harm: bruising. I’ve recently come to realise that I like YA books that are about pain and hurt and despair. And for that reason, I picked up this book as soon as I heard of it. Bonus: it’s about roller derby. I LOVE skating. Right away, I knew I’d love this book and I wasn’t wrong.
But I actually loved it even more than I expected to. We’ve got an f/f relationship (I loved Shanti as soon as I met her!) and nearly every character is queer and of colour.
Daya Wijesinghe is grieving her parents’ deaths after she was the sole survivor of a car accident. She blames herself, thinking she caused it by being ‘too soft’ (her parents were arguing about her losing a boxing match when the accident occurred). Thus we have 18 year old Daya who’s trying to prove she’s “hard” and “strong” and who despises anything she perceives as weakness. She won’t talk to her friends about her feelings, she won’t hug anyone, and she won’t connect to her uncle and aunt who she now lives with it. There is just so much anger inside Daya, and she is drawn to roller derby because it’s a contact sport where she can bruise herself more and more. She can slam into others. She can hurt and be hurt. She can feel pain.
And then there is Shanti and her sister Kat. Both are troubled girls, but they cope in different ways. Shanti is ‘soft’ and connected to her emotions. Kat is ‘hard’ and puts up walls around herself. Kat is the leader of the roller derby team that Daya auditions for, and there’s a weird attraction triangle and jealousy between the two sisters.
While nearly all the characters are queer, with the exception of the older lesbian couple (who are great!), none of them are really labelled as being LGBTQIA+. They just are.
This book is full of strong characters, and it’s a book that examines team sports, rivalry, pain, hurt, healing, self-hatred, self-harm, guilt, grief, and death. Highly recommended.