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Role Reversal: How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Aging Parents Paperback – August 16, 2016

4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 58 ratings

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Designed to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one―especially an aging parent―Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

2017 Florida Book Festival: Runner Up Award, Non-Fiction category 2017 Indie Excellence Book Award: Finalist 2016 USA Best Book Awards: Self-Help: Relationships, Finalist 2016 Best Indie Book Awards: Self Help: Relationships, Finalist 2017 Living Now Awards: Silver Award, Caregiving category 2017 Honorable Mention Readers Favorite Award 2018 Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist in How to/Home/Garden (Non-fiction)
"With its useful resources and warm professionalism,
Role Reversal is an essential read for adults thrust into the role of caregiver for their parents . . . Waichler’s personal approach to the subject is humanizing and contextualizes the plethora of useful resources she packs in. She emphasizes that the dignity of aging parents should be recognized and understood, as should the fine line between maintaining dignity and doing what is best as a caregiver." ―Foreword Reviews
"Although the book doesn’t delve deeply into any single topic, it’s the ideal way to get acquainted with the myriad of issues that can arise for the children of senior parents, whether that means determining whether one’s parents can still remain in their homes or taking steps to prevent identity theft. By offering so much advice about managing the difficult and even heartbreaking situations the author experienced, the book offers the reader a sense of speaking to a well-informed and personally invested friend rather than an impersonal medical professional. ―
Publishers Weekly
“[
Role Reversal] is an excellent guide for all caretakers… it is also a good book to have in one’s personal collection so that one can be organized when it comes to the needs of their aged parents.” ―Reader’s Favorite
"In her book,
Role Reversal, Iris Waichler characterizes the gut-wrenching ups and downs of her father’s life and the evolution of their family. Iris eloquently weaves her father’s story through his voice and hers walking the reader through the difficult steps of being a parent and taking care of her parents’ needs as they age. She includes invaluable resources and how-to guides for every step of the aging process and the end of life decision making dance. Iris articulates the complexities of co-ordinating care in a way that simplifies what is important and what to pay attention to with each new step and decision in the process. In a meaningful way, Iris touches the reader’s heart by sharing her father’s story very close to the bone and exposing a helpful path for many who are facing similar situations. She helps demystify a difficult topic that is many times clouded by grief. She enables a safe place for the reader to engage and grow through love." ―Rebecca Whitehad Munn, author of The Gift of Goodbye: A Story of Agape Love
“Iris Waichler delicately describes the nature of life struggle as we get older. She not only describes how to be an advocate for your parents but also fulfilling that role as daughter. This book is sure to help in the understanding of words like ‘hospice’ and ‘Alzheimer’s.’ It addresses living wills, estate planning, driving concerns, adult day enhancement, nursing homes, and just what to expect during the mortal nature of living. More than anything though, it reflects on decline such that dignity may be preserved. This book is certain to lift your spirits, raise your intellect, and contribute to the purpose behind giving back to what parents give their children.” ―Steven Atkinson PA-C, MS Geriatric Internal Medicine, Adjunct Faculty-University of Utah

Role Reversal does a beautiful job of intertwining personal experience with professional guidance. Her professional background working with older adults, combined with her long and loving relationship with her father, make her uniquely qualified to provide insight and support. With every page her father comes alive as the spirited, driven, and devoted person that he was. His story is an inspiration. This highly readable book will leave you feeling like you know Ms. Waichler and her father well. It will also gift you with resources and guidance as you engage with your parent in later life.” ―Susan Alterman, Psy/D, licensed clinical psychologist
"Iris Waichler did a beautiful job covering the various aspects and challenges related to becoming a caregiver. From the emotional and financial stresses, to the decision-making process and paperwork, caregiving can be overwhelming. This book takes a unique approach by sharing one man's incredible story while simultaneously preparing readers for the unexpected and offering resources and guidance to ease the transition." ―B. Popper, Account Director

About the Author

Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW has been a licensed clinical social worker and patient advocate for over forty years. She worked as a medical social worker in three major teaching hospitals. This is her third book; her last book, Riding the Infertility Roller Coaster, won four book awards, including “Best Book of the Year” from the National Association of Parenting Publications (NAPPA) and a Mom’s Choice Award. She has also been a Foreword Magazine and USABookNews finalist for best book of the year. Waichler has led workshops and done group, family, and individual counseling with people struggling with a variety of medical problems. She lives in Chicago with her husband, Steve, and her daughter, Grace.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ She Writes Press (August 16, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1631520911
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1631520914
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 58 ratings

About the author

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Iris Waichler
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Iris Waichler has been a well known patient advocate and licensed clinical social worker for the last 40 years. She began her career working with geriatric patients who experienced catastrophic illness and counseled them and their families about adapting to these medical problems. She helped them understand their medical condition helping them to cope with the disease and its impact on their lives.

She is an award winning author. In addition she is a prominent speaker presenting on topics related to infertility and caregiving. She has been featured in Redbook, Parade, MindBodygreen.com., Forbes Magazine and Next Avenue Magazine. She also has done many radio shows and podcasts.

Iris has taught and supervised social work students, medical students, interns, residents, and nurses about patient rights, ethics.

Ms. Waichler found herself in the role of a patient when she battled infertility for many years. The feelings of loss and helplessness she personally experienced were profound. She promised herself if she was successful in having a child she would do everything she could to help other people fighting infertility.

She authored a second award winning book, RIDING THE INFERTILITY ROLLER COASTER, A GUIDE TO EDUCATE AND INSPIRE. This book won 4 awards including 2 best book of the year awards. The response was so great she began doing individual and group counseling with people who had infertility. She volunteered for RESOLVE, a national infertility group, and went on to do a series of radio interviews, magazine articles, workshops, and speeches on infertility topics.

Her book, ROLE REVERSAL, HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR AGING PARENTS, has won 8 major book awards. Her experience in caring for her beloved father, who died at age 97, triggered her passion in reaching out to others who suddenly find themselves in a caregiver role and are uncertain about what to do or where to go for help. In this book she shares her father’s inspiring story and her personal and professional experience in assuming the challenges that come with being a caregiver for an aging loved one.

Iris has been doing freelance writing for the last 18 years. The focus of her work has been on health related topics. She also does workshops and speeches offering caregiving tips for caregiver family members and educating healthcare professionals.

Ms. Waichler lives in Chicago with her husband, Steve, and her daughter, Grace and her mini golden doodle Brandi. She loves to travel whenever she can and to spend time with friends and family.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
58 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2019
Waichler's personal story-telling, approachable tone, and accessible language make this an excellent resource for anyone concerned about how to care for aging loved ones. Family caregiver situations are enormously varied and no book can describe all of them. Waichler instead generously shares her own story and uses it to highlight the many problems, conflicts, dilemmas, and challenges involved in providing or managing care for a loved one. Each chapter contains tons of useful information, references to resources, and advice about advocacy. If you're a caregiver or are worried about becoming one, Role Reversal will make you feel seen and understood, while giving you the tools you need to make a difficult experience one of the most rewarding you can have.
Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2019
This is a beautifully written book about caring for our aging loved ones with love and dignity. Iris Waichler, the author, skillfully weaves her father’s life journey into the lessons that she learned as his care giver. This book resonated so much with me, as it’s a touching life story of Iris’ father, a man of strength, resilience, integrity and abundant love for his family. Highly recommend! 5 stars!
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2017
This book will be extremely helpful for anyone that is a caregiver for parents during their last years. Iris provides immensely practical advice and resources that will help you understand what to expect, and how to be better prepared to make these years just a little easier on everyone involved. She uses insights and stories from both her personal life (caring for her father at the end of his life) and from her professional life to illustrate her points. Having recently gone through the difficult, nearing end of life years with both of my parents, I could relate to many of the situations Iris describes in her book. Her advice would have made that journey a little easier.
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2023
The author wrote an autobiography about their relationship with her father. The book title is very misleading. There’s very little advice about how to take care of yourself and you’re aging parents in this book. You have to wade through pages and pages about this author’s relationship with her father and his biography. Her father’s life history is not something I want to slog through in order to get advice about taking care of myself and my own aging parent. Her advice is premised on the idea that you have lots of family around to help you and you can divide up the tasks.

That is not my case at all as I am a single person living in the same town as my elderly mother thousands of miles away from my siblings. I am the only relative in the state and the only help in town. The majority of her advice is useless for me. My mother lives independently in a life care facility. You would think that that would mean that I would have lots of help. Nope. The problem is my mother doesn’t want help and refuses to have any help come into her apartment. The author doesn’t address the situation at all. If she does, it’s buried some where, in between her musings about her relationship with her father and his life history.

Of all the books that I have purchased and read about caring for your elderly parents this is without any doubt any doubt the worst. Don’t waste your money.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2017
Waichler's Role Reversal is an accessible guide to the emotionally bewildering and complex process of caring for an aging parent. I just bought this book for my daughters so we can open the conversations that emerge from this necessary and beautifully written book. A combination of her personal experience, legal and medical resources and suggestions for navigating through the labyrinth of choices results in an invaluable resource.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 7, 2016
I strongly recommend Role Reversal by Iris Waichler! This very practical book is easy to read and provides excellent insights into how to deal with aging parents and how to take care of yourself at the same time. It's also a very touching story of her family, especially her father and their close relationship. I think everyone could benefit from the sage advice that Ms. Waichler provide.

--Angie M
Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2016
Waichler's comprehensive guide to taking care of aging parents was organized by topic. The book followed the progression of needs elderly parents will experience. There are sound recommendations for the caretaker, as well. The writer also shared her own experience taking care of her father during his decline. The book's tone was comforting, as well as practical.

I recommend this helpful book
Reviewed in the United States on January 12, 2018
Waichler thought of everything! As a craftily executed book, she weaves memoir into her well-researched guide for all caregivers of aging loved ones. The reader will quickly identify with her story as she takes us into her own personal caregiving with her father, offering her own honest and real experiences. Role Reversal will be with you every step of the way.