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The Dangerous Art of Blending In Paperback – June 11, 2019

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 752 ratings

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~Lambda Literary Award finalist for the best LGBT YA novel of 2018~

A raw, powerful, but ultimately uplifting debut novel perfect for fans of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe from debut author Angelo Surmelis.

Seventeen-year-old Evan Panos doesn’t know where he fits in. His strict immigrant Greek mother refuses to see him as anything but a disappointment. His quiet, workaholic father is a staunch believer in avoiding any kind of conflict. And his best friend, Henry, has somehow become distractingly attractive over the summer.

Tired, isolated, scared—Evan finds that his only escape is to draw in an abandoned monastery that feels as lonely as he is. And yes, he kissed one guy over the summer. But it’s Henry who’s now proving to be irresistible. Henry, who suddenly seems interested in being more than friends. And it’s Henry who makes him believe that he deserves more than his mother’s harsh words and terrifying abuse.

But as things with Henry heat up, and his mother’s abuse escalates, Evan has to decide how to find his voice in a world where he has survived so long by being silent.

This is a powerful and revelatory coming-of-age novel based on the author’s own childhood, about a boy who learns to step into his light.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

★ “Surmelis gives readers a protagonist to truly cheer for. A beautifully crafted story.” — School Library Journal (starred review)

“At once timely and timeless. A funny/wise/poignant triumph of a debut.” — Jennifer Niven, New York Times bestselling author of All the Bright Places

“Your heart will break and beat for Evan Panos. This is a soaring and courageous debut, unafraid to tackle the weighty subjects of faith and love.” — Jeff Zentner, award-winning author of The Serpent King

“This is a story of survival and of triumphing to become one’s authentic self. An important book that will serve as a lighthouse for gay teenagers and build empathy in all readers, no matter their backgrounds.” — Jennifer Mathieu, author of Moxie and The Truth About Alice

“Angelo Surmelis writes with unflinching honesty, wisdom, and heartbreaking grace about the struggle for self when family is one of your greatest obstacles.” — Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned

“Readers will yearn for Evan to achieve the freedom, happiness, and love he deeply desires.” — Publishers Weekly

“Another heartbreaking novel that pits religion and sexuality against each other, but with an important, culturally specific perspective.” — Kirkus Reviews

“A poignant, sometimes explosive debut.” — Booklist Previews

From the Back Cover

Seventeen-year-old Evan Pano doesn’t know where he fits in. 

His strict immigrant Greek mother refuses to see him as anything but a disappointment. His quiet, workaholic father is a staunch believer in avoiding any kind of conflict. And his best friend, Henry, has somehow become distractingly attractive over the summer.

Tired, isolated, scared—Evan finds that his only escape is to draw in an abandoned monastery that feels as lonely as he is. And yes, he kissed one guy over the summer. But it’s Henry who’s now proving to be irresistible. Henry, who suddenly seems interested in being more than friends. And it’s Henry who makes him believe that he deserves more than his mother’s harsh words and terrifying abuse. But as things with Henry heat up, and his mother’s abuse escalates, Evan has to decide how to find his voice in a world where he has survived so long by being silent.

This is a powerful and revelatory coming-of-age novel about a boy who learns to step into his light.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Balzer + Bray; Reprint edition (June 11, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062659014
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0062659019
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 13 - 17 years
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 8 - 12
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.76 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 752 ratings

About the author

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Angelo Surmelis
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Angelo Surmelis was raised in Greece until he immigrated to Illinois at the age of five. He currently lives in Los Angeles. An award-winning designer, Surmelis has been featured on over fifty television shows, including the Today show and Extra, as well as in magazines such as InStyle, TV Guide, and Entertainment Weekly. He has worked as a host on networks like HGTV, TLC and Lifetime. He can be found online at www.angelohome.com.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
752 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the story compelling and emotional. They describe the book as an easy, enjoyable read with well-written content. Readers appreciate the tenderness and attention to human love in the story. The message is portrayed as hopeful and truthful, though it deals with some heavy topics. Overall, customers find the book a worthwhile and rewarding experience.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

32 customers mention "Story quality"29 positive3 negative

Customers find the story compelling, emotional, and sad. They say it's an autobiographical tale about Evan Panos coming of age in a hostile home. The story touches on elements like abuse, homophobia, bullying, and neglect. It's a character-driven story about family, love, and finding yourself.

"Probably the best book I have read in years! The characters stay with you and draw you in immediately... the dialogue is BRILLIANT... I found myself..." Read more

"...Beautifully told with a hopeful ending, my only critique is that I would have liked more history on Evan's mother...." Read more

"This is not an easy novel to read. But it is a real story about Evan Panos and all he goes through to be who he truly is...." Read more

"...My words cannot do justice to this remarkable yet haunting exploration of finding oneself and learning to live in the world you are in...." Read more

30 customers mention "Readability"23 positive7 negative

Customers find the book readable and well-written. They appreciate the vivid descriptions of events and relationships, even the difficult ones. Overall, readers describe it as an engaging read with realistic characters and situations.

"...What's more, it is a mark of good writing that I, as a somewhat jaded reader, can be pulled so completely into Evan's world...." Read more

"...Beautifully told with a hopeful ending, my only critique is that I would have liked more history on Evan's mother...." Read more

"...This story will tear at your heart but leave you with a lot of hope at the ending. Evan has a lot to go through in this book...." Read more

"...I’m happy this story was written. This was an excellent book and a must read. Strongly recommend!" Read more

30 customers mention "Value for money"30 positive0 negative

Customers find the book an enjoyable read with a hopeful message. It's an easy and worthwhile read for young adults, as well as adults who need to hear it.

"...it hard to read in parts - but I can assure you that they are worth absorbing as the message is hopeful - and as the author has thrived in life, we..." Read more

"To simply say that this is the best YA novel I've ever read would be an understatement...." Read more

"...Best Part: Now that, that was quite a coming out scene...." Read more

"This was an excellent book. The treatment of the main character and his family was extremely believable...." Read more

14 customers mention "Heartbreaking"10 positive4 negative

Customers find the story powerful, emotional, sad, and gripping from start to finish. They appreciate the tenderness, attention to human love, and complexity of the story. The romance is cute, but not the center point. Overall, readers find the story beautiful and heartbreaking.

"This is a must read! The story of Evan was powerful, emotional, sad, and made me angry...." Read more

"...Though the romance was cute and not the center point of this book, I found that it felt very rushed and almost forced at times...." Read more

"...struggles, the emotional struggles and abuse, the mental anguish and spiritual desolation our young protagonist experiences at home and at a school;..." Read more

"...Art of Blending In is a beautiful, gut wrenching novel about family, love and finding yourself in the darkest corners of your life" Read more

7 customers mention "Message"7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's message meaningful and heartwarming. They describe it as a serious yet rewarding novel that tackles important issues. The message is truthful and relatable, raising many issues on various levels.

"...- but I can assure you that they are worth absorbing as the message is hopeful - and as the author has thrived in life, we know it is possible to..." Read more

"...It is an incredibly well-written book, with important messages for a wide range of readers...." Read more

"...It's so very real and tangible, and that's what makes it hit so hard. If you have the emotional strength to read it, you should." Read more

"...It was triggering and enormously painful but done with such truth and vulnerability...." Read more

5 customers mention "Reward value"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and intense. They describe it as a rewarding, addictive read that takes them on an unforgettable journey.

"This turned out to be a much more serious—and seriously rewarding—novel than I expected...." Read more

"...abuse by his mother,,, I just found it disturbing,, it is an interesting and well written book, but could only be read once, , by me,,, the good..." Read more

"Wow. This book is intense! Definitely deals with some heavy topics so be prepared. I finished it in less than two days. Recommended!" Read more

"I read the entire thing in one night it was extremely addictive. The storyline was incredible and you can really empathize with the characters." Read more

WOW... just incredible. What a journey - all the feels! These are characters that stay with you... change you.
5 out of 5 stars
WOW... just incredible. What a journey - all the feels! These are characters that stay with you... change you.
Probably the best book I have read in years! The characters stay with you and draw you in immediately... the dialogue is BRILLIANT... I found myself rereading pages just to fully take in the intense world that was created. The unfortunate truth of this book (as it is drawn from the authors personal life story) makes it hard to read in parts - but I can assure you that they are worth absorbing as the message is hopeful - and as the author has thrived in life, we know it is possible to come from such a dark place - and then to create a light so bright you can't help but cheer Evan and Henry on! This book is not only helpful for those going through a difficult upbringing, but also for those without such a challenge... we on the coasts tend to think this sort of thing does not happen in 2018... but it does and it is important to pick up on the warning signs and to reach out... ASK QUESTIONS and get those in need HELP! GET INVOLVED!!! Do not act as if it is not your place... it IS YOUR PLACE... I will have to read this book again... I'm sure I missed a lot as I powered through it in only two days... I had to find out what happened... I needed to know he was okay... it's the kind of book you can't put down.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2018
    Probably the best book I have read in years! The characters stay with you and draw you in immediately... the dialogue is BRILLIANT... I found myself rereading pages just to fully take in the intense world that was created. The unfortunate truth of this book (as it is drawn from the authors personal life story) makes it hard to read in parts - but I can assure you that they are worth absorbing as the message is hopeful - and as the author has thrived in life, we know it is possible to come from such a dark place - and then to create a light so bright you can't help but cheer Evan and Henry on! This book is not only helpful for those going through a difficult upbringing, but also for those without such a challenge... we on the coasts tend to think this sort of thing does not happen in 2018... but it does and it is important to pick up on the warning signs and to reach out... ASK QUESTIONS and get those in need HELP! GET INVOLVED!!! Do not act as if it is not your place... it IS YOUR PLACE... I will have to read this book again... I'm sure I missed a lot as I powered through it in only two days... I had to find out what happened... I needed to know he was okay... it's the kind of book you can't put down.
    Customer image
    E
    5.0 out of 5 stars WOW... just incredible. What a journey - all the feels! These are characters that stay with you... change you.
    Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2018
    Probably the best book I have read in years! The characters stay with you and draw you in immediately... the dialogue is BRILLIANT... I found myself rereading pages just to fully take in the intense world that was created. The unfortunate truth of this book (as it is drawn from the authors personal life story) makes it hard to read in parts - but I can assure you that they are worth absorbing as the message is hopeful - and as the author has thrived in life, we know it is possible to come from such a dark place - and then to create a light so bright you can't help but cheer Evan and Henry on! This book is not only helpful for those going through a difficult upbringing, but also for those without such a challenge... we on the coasts tend to think this sort of thing does not happen in 2018... but it does and it is important to pick up on the warning signs and to reach out... ASK QUESTIONS and get those in need HELP! GET INVOLVED!!! Do not act as if it is not your place... it IS YOUR PLACE... I will have to read this book again... I'm sure I missed a lot as I powered through it in only two days... I had to find out what happened... I needed to know he was okay... it's the kind of book you can't put down.
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    6 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2018
    To simply say that this is the best YA novel I've ever read would be an understatement. It is an incredibly well-written book, with important messages for a wide range of readers. On the other hand (though I do not see this as a technical flaw), I sympathize with the reviewer who wants the abusers in this story to have to answer for their crimes and neglect. Yet, in the real world--particularly within family units--abusers often escape detection. While it should not be that way, sometimes it is. I can accept this story as one of those cases.

    The most remarkable part of the novel is Evan's ability to rise above his circumstances. He is a person of remarkable strength and resilience. That he can have such nightmarish experiences at home and yet maintain a keen sense of humor and huge capacity for love is a marvel. What's more, it is a mark of good writing that I, as a somewhat jaded reader, can be pulled so completely into Evan's world. As a voyeur of Evan's life, I believe in the integrity of his character, and furthermore, I am informed enough about the extenuating circumstances of his family to allow me to understand how Evan becomes the strong character that he is. One of the first tests of good fiction is that it should engender the "suspension of disbelief." Angelo Surmelis's writing suspends my disbelief masterfully.

    For anyone who cares about the struggles of young adults--either because you know some are you are one--this is an important book. Don't miss it!
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 10, 2018
    Just finished this book, completing the second half in one sitting. Beautifully told with a hopeful ending, my only critique is that I would have liked more history on Evan's mother. I hated this woman with complete absence of shame. Perhaps delving deeper into her background might have given me some understanding of how a mother could abuse her only child with such passion and use God as an excuse for justification. I knew early on that there would probably be no redemption for this woman, but I wanted more than was given in order to not justify her actions, but to perhaps soften the blow as to how she became such a horrible, unredeemable person, and why her husband was so accommodating to her behavior. I wanted Evan to violently destroy his mother, and yet because she was his mother I knew this could not happen. I wish there had been stories like this decades ago when I was in high school. They might have helped my young adulthood to be more transparent and allowed me to live life the way I wanted without fear of ridicule. Bravo to Evan and Henry! Live and love your life together without fear!
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2024
    This is not an easy novel to read. But it is a real story about Evan Panos and all he goes through to be who he truly is. He succeeds and as always love wins out. Bravo!
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2019
    I am a High School English teacher, and have a "What I Read, What I'm Reading, What I Will Read" section at the front of my class. Each week I do a book talk with my students where I take a few minutes to express my thoughts and feelings about what I am reading at any given time. This was the first book in quite some time that left me speechless, unable to capture in words exactly what The Dangerous Art of Blending In did to me. The story is haunting, leaving you crushed by the horrors that are Evan Panos life. The physical struggles, the emotional struggles and abuse, the mental anguish and spiritual desolation our young protagonist experiences at home and at a school; in public and in private. With tiny glimmers of hope and the possibility of things being better, even for a minute and at the most mundane level, as dashed as quickly as they appear to Evan, and to us as the reader. But the love, the hope, the support of Henry and, indirectly, his family that is given to Evan empowers and uplifts, both our characters and the reader.

    As I read, record quotes and passages that "speak" to me on some level. With Surmelis's work, I gave up recording. Not because there were not passages of worth or note, but because I could not put this book down to write out what I was reading. I COULD NOT put this book down. I do not mean that in a hyperbolic or figurative sense, but in the most literal sense. I found myself unable to stop. I was so invested in Evan, his life, his hopes, his dreams, his struggles, that I could not stop. I found myself reading into the late hours of the night, telling myself that I would stop at the end of the chapter in order to sleep; that I can continue tomorrow. At the end of each chapter, I continued to read, telling myself one more chapter, one more chapter, until I was finished with the book in the wee hours of the morning. I was left speechless, breathless by the story I just experienced. My words cannot do justice to this remarkable yet haunting exploration of finding oneself and learning to live in the world you are in.

    As I explained to my students that I cannot do the book justice with my words, but can only say that it is something you have to experience to fully, and truly, understand, I was left again unable to find the words to express what I experienced. At risk of sounding trite, I laughed, I cried, and I was left breathless with a tear in my eye, hope in my heart, and a sense of inner peace that the world can be alright for those struggling to find their place and to find their world.

    I have over 10 students waiting to check this book out of my classroom library, with others just taking note of the title so that they can get a copy for themselves to experience what I am unable to truly and fully express. Since reading, I have had two students stay up all night because they could not put it down.
    2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Cayo Campos
    5.0 out of 5 stars De partir o coração
    Reviewed in Brazil on April 27, 2018
    Aviso: Este livro possui possíveis gatilhos para abusos físicos e mentais

    Se alguém nos agride de algum modo, sendo ele física ou verbalmente, nós tendemos a procurar um lugar seguro que na maioria das vezes é a nossa própria casa, mas o que fazer quando você é menor de idade e as piores atrocidades são cometidas dentro da sua própria casa, por alguém da sua família?

    Eu tive que ler todo o livro de uma única vez porque eu simplesmente não conseguia deixá-lo de lado sem saber se Evan estaria vivo ou não no próximo capítulo.

    Uma leitura difícil que muitas vezes me deixou com os olhos cheios d'água e que com certeza ficará guardada em mim por um longo tempo.
  • Buchstabenträumerin
    5.0 out of 5 stars Ein bedrückender und gleichzeitig befreiender Roman über Homosexualität & Missbrauch
    Reviewed in Germany on December 10, 2019
    „The Dangerous Art of Blending In“ ist ein „Own Voice“ Roman, in dem Autor Angelo Surmelis seine eigene Kindheit und Jugend verarbeitet. Gleichzeitig hat er ein Werk in die Welt gesetzt, das zeigt, wie schwer es unter anderem Homosexuelle noch heute haben, von der Gesellschaft akzeptiert zu werden. Welche Ängste sie ausstehen müssen und wie ignorant und verurteilend einige Menschen, vor allem in Kleinstädten, sein können. Homosexualität ist also die eine Sache, doch Surmelis hatte als immigrierter Grieche auch eine strenge und gläubige Mutter, die ihn jahrelang misshandelte. In einer berührenden Autorennotiz schreibt Surmelis, dass seine Therapeutin ihm empfohlen habe, seine Erfahrungen zu Papier zu bringen, doch wann immer er damit begann, war der Prozess zu schmerzhaft. Erst die Erfindung von Evan, so der Name des Protagonisten in diesem Buch, ermöglichte es ihm, die notwendige Distanz zu erlangen. Hier ist seine Geschichte.

    Mit fünf Jahren immigrierte Evan mit seinen Eltern in die USA, in die Kleinstadt Kalakee, Illinois. Dort regiert seine Mutter über seinen Alltag, sie bestimmt, welche Kleidung er tragen soll (immer lange Ärmel, damit niemand die Verletzungen sieht), seine Frisur (kurze Haare, alles andere würde schwul aussehen), seine Hobbys (sich nützlich machen, nicht tagträumen) und seine Freunde (niemand, der nicht in die richtige Kirche geht und/oder Grieche ist). Passt etwas nicht in ihre Vorstellung von der guten, gottesfürchtigen Familie, wird sie handgreiflich gegenüber ihrem Sohn. Und auch wenn alles in das Bild passt, findet sie immer etwas, um ihren Sohn dennoch verbal zu erniedrigen. Schon zu Beginn der Geschichte ahnt sie, dass mit Evan etwas „nicht stimmt“. Mit Argusaugen beobachtet sie ihn und versucht, ihn durch Prügel wieder auf den richtigen Weg zu bringen und ihm das „Schwulsein“ auszutreiben. Diese Szenen sind bitter, erschreckend, schockierend und unendlich traurig.

    Angelo Surmelis verleiht der inneren Zerrissenheit von Evan Ausdruck. Er fürchtet und hasst seine Mutter, dennoch sehnt er sich nach ihrer Zuneigung. Ist ihre Liebe echt? Hat sie recht mit ihren Anschuldigungen? Diese Gedanken begleiten Evan durch seine Kindheit, er macht sich klein, möglichst unsichtbar, verdrängt jegliche Gefühle. Er versucht, zu überleben. Seine Strategie ist es, seine Welten strikt voneinander zu trennen: sein Zuhause und sein Schulalltag und vor allem seine Freundschaft zu Henry.

    Henry ist wie ein Anker für Evan. Doch einhergehend mit der Veränderung ihrer Beziehung zueinander, wächst auch die Unsicherheit bei Evan. Beide Welten drohen immer mehr aufeinanderzuprallen und das versetzt Evan in große Angst. Ich fand es großartig, dass nichts in der Beziehung der beiden Jungen romantisiert wird. Sie handeln manchmal unbedacht, sind teilweise egoistisch, kurzsichtig, ängstlich. Doch all diese Gefühle und Reaktionen aufeinander sind plausibel und machen absolut Sinn angesichts der Hintergründe.

    Als „Own Voice“ Autor hat Angelo Surmelis Authentizität in seinem Roman natürlich gepachtet. Das spürt man beim Lesen. Man fühlt sich unmittelbar mit den Figuren, Haupt- und Nebenfiguren in gleicher Weise, verbunden. Ich litt mit Evan, ich hoffte mit Evan, ich war verängstigt wie Evan. Aber ich spürte auch die überschäumende Freude, die Evan gemeinsam mit Henry empfindet. Die Hoffnung, dass das Leben doch mehr bieten kann, als alles, was er bisher kennengelernt hat. Die Hoffnung, dass er sich befreien kann aus dem engen und verletzenden Griff seiner Mutter.

    Fazit

    „The Dangerous Art of Blending In“ von Angelo Surmelis ist ein bedrückender und gleichzeitig befreiender Roman über Homosexualität, Missbrauch und das Aufwachsen als Immigrant in einer Kleinstadt in den USA. Surmelis ist ein „Own Voice“ Autor, der mit dem Schreiben dieser Geschichte seine eigene Kindheit und Jugend verarbeitet. Ein wichtiges Buch, das hoffentlich bei manchen ein Umdenken bewirkt, das vor allem aber zeigt, dass man immer Menschen findet, die einen akzeptieren wie man ist, die einen unterstützen und auffangen, wenn es die eigene Familie nicht kann. Sehr empfehlenswert!
  • Charles S.
    5.0 out of 5 stars One of the hardest read of 2019 and one of the best
    Reviewed in France on July 5, 2019
    Each blow directed at Evan hurts you as much as this involuntary hero, so it feels. Angelo Surmelis has written a very remarkable story of abuse and redemption. This book is now high on my best reads list of the past decade.
  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hauntingly painful and beautiful
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 30, 2019
    I don't know if there are words to describe this book. I don't have a gift with them like the author does. It's a masterpiece that comes from the depths of the soul and is very special. I'm very cautious these days with picking up books from authors I've not read before as so often they disappoint lacking depth and emotions. Not this one. I'm not one to read "heavy" books and knowing that this book was portraying some very difficult and heavy, painful subjects, I was hesitant, but I'm glad I plucked my courage and started to read. It's beautiful, it's "real" and, if books about homosexuality would stand a chance the same way as "hetero" books do, this would have many, many well known book awards. It's sad that being as enlightened and free in today's society we still have subjects so many pretend don't exist. Read it, if you have courage. Read it, even if you are scared and uncomfortable. I guarantee that you will get some points to your emotional intelligence.
  • Robbie
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wow, just wow!
    Reviewed in Australia on January 23, 2019
    This is such a hard novel to review.

    As cliched as that is, and I know I’ve used it before, it’s so very apt. And like my useage of the trope earlier and above, it’s in a good way.

    I’m loathed to use the term “unreliable narrator” at the best of times- after all life is messy and we all see things from our own point of view and the work of good authors represent this.

    In this novel, Evan is a 17 year old with a massive secret. And it’s not the secret that you think it is! When it is revealed your heart breaks for him; for not only because of this but he also has to contend with his developing feelings for his best friend Henry.

    While that’s only the briefest of synopsis- if I give any more away it’ll be one huge spoiler sweetie!- I can however tell you more about the prose itself.

    Angelo Surmelis has a writing style that just “feels” natural. He captures the reader and you’re transported into the world of Evan and his family and his daily struggles. It flows very smoothly and, although towards the end you sort of want it to hurry up, it’s still a very well written novel.

    I recommend this book if you’re on the fence- but make sure you have tissues close by!