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Reviews with images
Hard to put down.
I recently read this book on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. I loved the voice that the author uses, very relaxed and informal but overflowing with knowledge and insight. This book is the perfect aid for anyone about to undertake, or currently undertaking, further education, or anyone trying to understand what someone in that situation might be going through. You really feel like you’re sat down having a chat over a cup of tea with the author. I will definitely be gifting this book to several friends for Christmas.
Top review from the United States
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Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2021
I recently read this book on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. I loved the voice that the author uses, very relaxed and informal but overflowing with knowledge and insight. This book is the perfect aid for anyone about to undertake, or currently undertaking, further education, or anyone trying to understand what someone in that situation might be going through. You really feel like you’re sat down having a chat over a cup of tea with the author. I will definitely be gifting this book to several friends for Christmas.
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Top reviews from other countries
Stuart J Randall
Fantastic book for students, and also therapists. Highly recommended.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 13, 2021
Stuart J Randall
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 13, 2021
I will start this review by saying that I do not personally know the author and have no affiliation with the publisher. I purchased this book with my own money from Amazon.
I first came across this book when I heard Nic (the author) speaking on a podcast called ‘Psychologists off the Clock’. I tend to listen to podcasts that have an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) flavour to them, and which are also about working with adolescents since this is an age range I currently work with. Nic’s ability to relate complex psychological concepts to the real world, using his own experiences, and deliver these in an easy-to-understand manner is what made me purchase this book.
What we get here is a book of around 230 pages (index not included) split into 8 chapters. These are an intro chapter, a chapter each for the 6 ways to wellbeing (exercise, challenge yourself, connect with others, give to others, self-care, and embrace the moment), and then an ending chapter. At the end of each chapter there is a take home message summarising the main points and a couple of tasks that the reader can do to apply the main points to their life.
Toward the end of Chapter 1, Nic writes, “This book will not be dry.” He is certainly correct. I have read many ACT books, and this is probably one of the easiest, most accessible, non-jargon ACT-based book I have come across. No prior knowledge of ACT is required to start reading, and ideas are based around Nic’s experience of his personal and professional life. This is a great way to frame these as instead of speaking about generic circumstances, we can see some of these ideas playing out in genuine situations with genuine consequences. These are written with an easy to read, often humorous, honest and open tone leading to what feels like a connection with the author.
If you are reading this review as an ACT therapist, then I can tell you that the book talks about the main processes. The opening chapter starts to introduce them, along with some gentle creative hopelessness acknowledging that the usual responses (such as avoidance) to unwanted thoughts and feelings are unworkable.
Chapter 2 talks about the important of exercise and how our own minds can get in the way using some evolutionary science and then goes on to introduce the idea of defusion through some helpful metaphors.
Chapter 3 is all about challenging yourself. There is a focus here on the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and who we are not, and what we can and cannot do and how we can be imprisoned by those stories. I found this chapter relatable as I have my own stories that can paralyse me from action. I was in two minds about writing this review since my own self story tells me that no one wants to listen to little old me, or people might find it boring. Nevertheless, I am mindful of those stories and my desire to help others is beginning to push through them.
Connecting with people is the topic of Chapter 4. After reading lots of other ACT books, this was a bit of a standout chapter for me due to the section on the psychology of influence and looking at the 6 principles of persuasion. This included some cool old school experiments (would you look up toward the top of a building for no reason other than another person was? How about if 5 people were looking up, would you then?). Furthermore, from my own work in trauma informed services it was nice to see a discussion about instead of saying to someone, “what is wrong with you?”, we should be asking, “what has happened to you?” when figuring out why someone might be struggling, acknowledging how important someone’s context, and learning history are.
Chapter 5 looks at how we can give to others, and identifies many ways through money, time and through relationships. A particular stand out in this chapter, from an ACT perspective, is the idea that perhaps ‘acceptance’ is the wrong word and that ‘willingness’ fits better. Acceptance suggests that we need to tolerate (i.e. put up with) our feelings, whereas ‘willingness’ suggests a more active choice. There are also some helpful points about getting and using feedback from assignments, and also about handling relationships within a university context.
Chapter 6 reminds us that straying outside our comfort zone is good for us, however it is important to come back in for some recuperation and takes us back to basics (which is important as it is often forgotten) in terms of sleeping, eating and exercising. This then expands into self-compassion which identifies that where we find our pain we often find what is important to us, like two sides of a coin that are forever together. Once we have worked out what is important to us, then we get some ideas of how to implement them into everyday action.
Chapter 7 brings up the ‘m’ word. Yes, mindfulness, it is hard to escape any form of self-help book these days without running into this. I think Nic quite rightly points out that mindfulness is annoyingly fashionable at the moment. However, he does recognise the reasons that mindfulness can be important and the purpose behind the skill. No, it is not so we can always remember to breathe in and out, but to recognise that our minds wander off and this recognition allows us to pull it back somewhat and stay for a bit longer in the present moment. There is also a stark reminder here that time is finite, and only goes in one direction, so this moment right now in the present is the only time you will get right now (so why are you spending it reading this?).
To end, Chapter 8 gives a nice summary of the main points, and introduces 10 other tips which are not discussed previously in the book.
So who do I think this book is for. If you are a student about to go to, or currently at, a college or university then this is well worth the time and money reading. If you are a therapist working with this client group then it is well worth the time reading yourself (as there is some really helpful information outside of ACT), or you can recommend the people you work with buy it and then use it loosely as guided self-help.
I think this book can genuinely help people, so I highly recommend it.
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Maeve L
Important and fun student guide
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 26, 2021
Maeve L
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 26, 2021
I really enjoyed this book from an educator’s perspective. The main barriers to students’ engagement at university are their own internal ones. Often self stories, comparisons, procrastination and avoidance are elements that prevent the student getting the most out of their learning experience. This book is so unique in its ability to address these barriers in a very fun and engaging way. The ACT processes are presented in a humble manner so I found myself keen to try them out. I can imagine any student feeling the same way. There are no preachy undertones (phew).
The author clearly has experience working with students because the messages are based on real life scenarios and this of course draws the reader in. I loved the stories of the young author finding his way in the world through making mistakes (the tennis story was hilarious). There were several laugh out loud moments and a few teary ones too.
I can confidently recommend this to my students knowing they are in safe hands as they strengthen their psychological well being.
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liv101
Essential for students and their parents - a hand to hold.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 30, 2022Karolina
Must read for all students!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 13, 2022Edward G H Smith
Insightful knowledge for all.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 28, 2021