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Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss Paperback – May 5, 2020

by Claire Bidwell Smith (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 520 ratings
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With this groundbreaking book, discover the critical connections between anxiety and grief—and learn practical strategies for healing, based on the Kübler-Ross stages model.

If you're suffering from anxiety but not sure why, or if you're struggling with loss and looking for solace, Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief offers help and answers. As grief expert Claire Bidwell Smith discovered in her own life—and in her practice with her therapy clients—significant loss and unresolved grief are primary underpinnings of anxiety.

Using research and real life stories, Smith breaks down the physiology of anxiety, providing a concrete explanation that will help you heal. Starting with the basics questions—“What is anxiety?” and “What is grief?” and moving to concrete approaches such as making amends, taking charge, and retraining your brain, Anxiety takes a big step beyond Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's widely accepted five stages to unpack everything from our age-old fears about mortality to the bare vulnerability a loss can make us feel.

With concrete tools and coping strategies for panic attacks, getting a handle on anxious thoughts, and more, Smith bridges these two emotions in a way that is deeply empathetic and profoundly practical.

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Previous page
  1. Print length
    272 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    May 5, 2020
  4. Dimensions
    5.45 x 1.25 x 8.25 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    0738234788
  6. ISBN-13
    978-0738234786
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"[B]oth soothing and informative...Smith's words are particularly useful for panic attack sufferers...she shows you how you can normalize your panic."
―New York Times Book Review

"In Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief, Claire Bidwell Smith has found yet another way to powerfully illuminate and deepen our understanding of what it means to grieve. Drawing upon her personal experience with deep loss as well as her many years of working as a grief counselor, Bidwell Smith offers fresh insight into the connection between grief and anxiety. Bidwell Smith's profound compassion for those who've experienced loss has already helped so many people. This trailblazing book will help many more."―Cheryl Strayed, New York Times bestselling author of Wild

"The world of grief--rote with repeated thoughts over what happened, what might have been, and what might be--provides the perfect breeding ground for anxiety. In pinpointing the connections between the two, Claire Bidwell Smith is the warm and wise friend guiding you toward deeper control over your thoughts, instead of your thoughts wielding control over you."―Rebecca Soffer, coauthor of Modern Loss: Candid Conversation about Grief. Beginners Welcome.

"Once again Claire Bidwell Smith has brought light to one of life's most difficult and dark periods. She helps us understand grief better and ourselves in the process, all the while guiding us like an old friend who knows."―Dr. BJ Miller, palliative care physician, UCSF

"Claire Bidwell Smith's Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief sheds light on a largely hidden dimension of what many grieving people experience: anxiety. Through her own personal experience of loss as well as expertise as a therapist and grief counselor, this book is written with compassion and insight. By naming the experience, she gives readers power. Bidwell Smith's book will be the missing link in understanding and eventual mastery for the many facing common feelings of uneasiness and fear following a loss."
―Shoshana Ungerleider, MD Physician and Founder, End Well

"Smith doesn't offer platitudes about peace in the great beyond. What she does provide is far more powerful, and ultimately healing. We cannot bring the dead back, but we can honor their lives and recall their essence. It's not only a way to overcome anxiety connected to grief, but also a way to infuse our lives with deeper meaning, in the here and now."―Spirituality & Health

"In Anxiety: the Missing Stage of Grief, Claire Bidwell Smith lifts up and sheds light on an aspect of grief that too often lurks just below the surface: anxiety. Throughout this warm and very accessible book, Bidwell Smith draws on the knowledge of numerous experts, shares the experiences of her clients, and offers simple yet powerful exercises for the reader to try. But the voice that will comfort, encourage, and and ultimately empower the reader is Bidwell Smith herself. This book is a balm to the souls of those who worry and grieve, and never quite understood the connection."
―Kerry Egan, author of On Living

"[A] useful work...[The] insight alone, linking anxiety to grief, is worth the price of admission. If Smith's ideas of 'resilient grieving' help even one reader cope with the trauma and fearful thoughts of anxiety, she will have done a great service."―Kirkus Reviews

"Diving into the complexities of grief and how it plays a huge role in dealing with anxiety, Smith brings in concrete facts and data to support her useful management tips in this new uplifting read. For anyone struggling to figure out their next steps in life, this is the perfect book to jump-start your happiness and gain control."―Popsugar

About the Author

Claire Bidwell Smith, LCPC, is a therapist specializing in grief and the author of two books of nonfiction. She holds a bachelor's degree from The New School University and a master's degree from Antioch University. Claire lives with her family in South Carolina.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Hachette Go; Reprint edition (May 5, 2020)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0738234788
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0738234786
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.45 x 1.25 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 520 ratings

About the author

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Claire Bidwell Smith

Claire Bidwell Smith

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Claire Bidwell Smith, LCPC, is a therapist specializing in grief and the author of multiple books, including Conscious Grieving and Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief. Led by her own experiences with grief and fueled by her work in hospice and private practice, Claire strives to provide support for all kinds of people experiencing all kinds of loss. Claire offers numerous programs in addition to working with people one-on-one, as well as training other clinicians to work in the field of grief and loss.

Claire has been featured in and written for various publications including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Scientific American, The LA Times, CNN, and more. She deeply loves her work and is devoted to expanding the conversation about grief and loss.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
520 global ratings
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5 Stars
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Great book to help one going through anxiety..especially after the passing of a loved one
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Top reviews from the United States

Curt
5.0 out of 5 stars Most helpful
Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2023
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One of the best if not the best and most helpful of all the books on grief I have read. Highly recommended!
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2021
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This is the first review I ever wrote, but I had to say how much this book healed me. I had to put my 15 year old dog down and started having panic attacks soon after. I never had a panic attack in my life and it scared me. I knew it must have been something to do with loosing her so I purchased this book. I can't tell you how much this book made me understand my feelings. I did all of the grief work it suggested and by the middle of the book I had no more panic attacks or anxiety!!! Thank you so much to the author of this book. This helped me to put my life back together.
50 people found this helpful
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B. Mahan
5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Lens on Grief
Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2022
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It's easy to miss the interplay between anxiety and grief. Claire Tidwell Smith brings this connection to the forefront in this meaningful, easy-to-read book. Exploring both topics, and looking at how they influence each other, the book is filled with useful, easy-to-apply ideas. Highly recommended!
4 people found this helpful
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irishclan
4.0 out of 5 stars Great resource for any Grieving person
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2021
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Clare Burwell Smith really captures all of the pieces needed to gain peace after a loss. The exercises are truly helpful.
One person found this helpful
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Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely helpful
Reviewed in the United States on February 21, 2019
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I found this book helpful, kind, sincere, and smart. I read it 6 months after the death of my father. It helped with many feelings I was having around his death, and it really helped with the unexpected anxiety I was feeling. I found it helpful, as well, in forging a new way forward with my mother, who lost her best friend and partner of 61 years. I also found the booked helped me deal with some very old grief around some childhood issues with my dad. The author speaks from both years of experience working as a grief therapist and from her own personal experiences of loss. I've bought copies of the book for several relatives and friends, including my mother (who is also finding it very helpful).
35 people found this helpful
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Katherine Devine
5.0 out of 5 stars A valuable and necessary addition to grief literature
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2018
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Claire Bidwell Smith tackles grief and loss in Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief the way she has in her two previous books (The Rules of Inheritance and After This: When Life is Over, Where Do We Go)--directly and gently, honestly and warmly, realistically and optimistically. Reading this book is like overhearing a conversation between a beautiful and gifted writer and the most incisive therapist. Bidwell Smith is comfortable as both, and shines in her latest book. Included with her own experiences are tools for assessment and the exercises she offers to patients dealing with grief and anxiety in her private practice. She has astutely identified the role that anxiety plays in loss and grief, and has written this wonderful book as a service to all who are suffering. Five enthusiastic stars.
30 people found this helpful
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Chicago Book Addict
5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely helpful book for those dealing with loss
Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2018
Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )Verified Purchase
I love this book so much I already bought a second copy for a friend. I lost an aunt who was like a second mother to me in April and felt like I was struggling through the grief process. I love that not only did this make me feel like everything I was going through was not only normal, but also gave me exercises to help me work through my grief in a healthy way. I'm now a bit more than six months out from the loss and I feel like it's helped me to find the gift in all of this and become more resilient. This is a really helpful book that I now recommend to anyone who's struggling through a loss.
26 people found this helpful
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Gail Davidson, Verified Purchaser
3.0 out of 5 stars The Title is Better Than the Book
Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2021
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I was thrilled to discover this book, but it was a long slog reading it, without much to take away (besides the title). I was looking for something on anxiety during the pandemic, and I knew it was related to grief, so I had high hopes. I could have written it better myself.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

aa
5.0 out of 5 stars A excellent resource when working through the anxiety panic, fear that accompanies grief
Reviewed in Canada on September 3, 2022
Verified Purchase
In dealing with the bouts of panic that arise after many years of delayed grief + long ago trauma, this book, with its vignettes + personal stories has been so helpful. I'm grateful for it.
One person found this helpful
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annie h
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent well written
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 3, 2023
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This is a really excellent book, it’s easy to read and I found this book comforting, helped me to put things into perspective as well
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Daisy Hill
5.0 out of 5 stars Sensitive and wise
Reviewed in France on November 22, 2019
Verified Purchase
My mother died twelve years ago yet I still found this book really helpful! It doesn't matter for how long you have been without your loved one. This book will impart pearls of wisdom. It had a lot of philosophy within and I felt wiser for reading it and also calmer. I love how she says you may keep your love one alive if you like. So many books tell you to get on with life, to get over it when you feel like a limb has been removed. Sensitive gentle writer. Really enjoyed reading each chapter.
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Candace
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly helpful during difficult times
Reviewed in Canada on April 18, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book has made me realize so much, it described my current experience to a T and gave me tools to help me heal. Excellent!!
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acorn
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely superb book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 16, 2021
Verified Purchase
This book is fantastic, the author totally gets it, and just the relief of reading how I am feeling has helped to unlock so much of my own grief process I cannot describe how this book has helped me, I am not going crazy, I am just grieving and it will take time.
5 people found this helpful
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