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The Butler's Guide to Running the Home and Other Graces Hardcover – November 6, 2012
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Revered by everyone from royalty to the estate staff, Stanley Ager considered it his calling to run a home gracefully and efficiently. Several of the men whom he trained at St. Michael’s Mount went on to serve in the Royal Household at Buckingham Palace and at British embassies throughout the world. But you don’t need a manor to benefit from Ager’s wisdom on homekeeping. This carefully detailed, charmingly illustrated, eminently useful volume offers important insights and techniques, including how to:
Wipe a glass—or a chandelier—until it sparkles *** Fold napkins precisely—in six different ways *** Polish furniture—or silver—to a mirror finish *** Lay a beautiful table and serve a meal impeccably *** Brush, buff, and maintain any manner of clothes and footwear *** Fold and pack for a trip—for business or pleasure *** Select and pour wine *** Stage “impromptu” romantic picnics *** And, among other graces, open a door soundlessly, roll an umbrella perfectly, and iron a newspaper
- Print length208 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherPotter Style
- Publication dateNovember 6, 2012
- Dimensions6.91 x 0.81 x 8.55 inches
- ISBN-100385344708
- ISBN-13978-0385344708
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About the Author
Fiona St. Aubyn is also the author of A Portrait of Georgian London and wrote ClothesCarewith James Wagenvoord. She graduated from the University of Winchester with a degree in creative writing and lives in Hampshire with her family. Fiona St. Aubyn is a granddaughter of the late third Lord St. Levan and his wife the Dowager Lady St. Levan, and her brother now lives at St. Michael’s Mount. She knew Stanley Ager all her life.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Ager's Way
In 1975 I retired, after fifty-three years in service. Barbara and I moved out of our house on St. Michael’s Mount, where we had lived for thirty years, and into one in Marazion, the village opposite the castle. We left the Mount on a Friday and had a housewarming party on the Sunday. It had taken us exactly two days to establish ourselves so completely that we didn’t have to look for anything. Our friends were amazed. “It feels as though you’ve been here all your life!” they said. But it was simply a question of experience; we were used to moving house from having been in service. At the start of the London season, the staff were sent up in the afternoon to have the house ready for the family in the evening. We’d arrive to find the house in dust sheets, but by the time the family arrived for dinner, you would never know that anyone had been away.
At first I didn’t feel right being out of uniform and in casual clothes in the morning; otherwise, I was content to retire. After all, I have traveled the world, lived in some magnificent houses and been lucky with my employers. But I still miss the staff. They fought amongst themselves and always caused me far more trouble than the Lord and Lady—yet I miss them most of all.
•••
I was fourteen when I entered service in 1922. I began as hallboy—the lowest servant of all—in Lord Coventry’s household at Croome Court. On my first day it seemed like a house full of servants; there were some forty people of all ages working there. Everyone was friendly except the housekeeper—she didn’t want anything to do with new boys. But she treated her youngest girls just the same way I was treated by the butler, and most butlers were courteous people.
I chose to work for Lord Coventry because he raced in partnership with his daughter, Lady Barbara Smith, and I have always been interested in horse racing. I come from Newmarket, a town north of London that is the home of British horse racing. My father was a head stableman and my brother an apprentice jockey. At one time I thought more about going into racing than about going into service, but after my parents died, entering service seemed the best way of supporting myself.
At the beginning I did most of my work in the servants’ quarters at the back of the house. I didn’t go to the front where the family lived, except for the dining room, until I had worked at Croome Court for six months. When I did, the flowers in the reception rooms struck me first of all. I can still remember the smell of the carnations. I had never seen carnations in such quantity before, and they were all colors—even yellow, and I haven’t seen many yellow ones since. I was awed by the general opulence—the silver candlesticks and inkstands on the writing desks, the tapestries on the walls and the thick rugs, which were quite different from the stone tiles I was used to walking on.
It was not until I worked at the front of the house that I saw the family to speak to. The only time I saw them before that was at prayers, which were held in the dining room at nine o’clock after we laid the table for breakfast. At the end the lady of the house always said, “God make my servants dutiful.” Then the family left the room and we rushed like mad to get breakfast on the table.
At fourteen, I wasn’t considered young to start work. A lad was usually hallboy until he was fifteen and a half, then he became steward’s room boy or third footman. The hallboy and steward’s room boy learnt their trade by waiting on members of staff, and the hallboy looked after the butler’s clothes. Only the grander houses had a steward’s room boy, and few of them had as many as forty servants. Most houses had between twelve and fifteen staff members.
How quickly a lad was promoted depended on his ability rather than on his age. Most third and second footmen were very young footmen. Their duties included serving at table, cleaning silver and caring for clothes. The first footman was usually in his mid-twenties and acted as an assistant to the butler. Very few footmen became butlers until they were in their thirties. Before that a footman might valet the gentleman of the house. Then when he became butler, his most important duty was to see that the house ran smoothly.
Most young servants moved to a different house after about a year or so to gain promotion and to experience how various houses were run. A servant who was looking for another job became very snobbish about the family; we wanted someone who had several houses so we could travel round the country. Two houses weren’t really enough. And they had to go to London in the London season—if they didn’t have a house in London, we wouldn’t look at that job either. We wanted London because of the lovely parties and because in town we could get out more and spend all the money we had saved in the country. This wasn’t very much, as salaries were small—from fifteen to twenty pounds a year, which the hallboy received, to a butler’s ninety pounds a year.
I left Lord Coventry to work for Lady Barbara Smith as steward’s room boy. I stayed there a year before becoming third footman to the Pikes. The first guest I looked after for the Pikes was television pioneer John Logie Baird. He arrived with two scruffy suitcases and preferred a cheap brand of cigarettes to some excellent cigars after dinner. I didn’t think my tip would amount to much. But when he left, he gave me five pounds—more than double my month’s wages.
Next I was second footman to Sir Bryan Godfrey-Faussett, who was at one time equerry to King George V. Then in 1926 I went to Lord Dunsany, a well-known author and playwright. He lived at Dunsany Castle, County Meath, Ireland, and his country house in England was Dunstall Priory in Kent. I began as second footman and valet to his eldest son. After a couple of years, when I was only nineteen, I was promoted to first footman and valet to Lord Dunsany.
I remember a time when H. G. Wells came to stay and the tablecloth accidentally caught fire. H. G. Wells was up in an instant and out of the window. The butler appeared and simply put the fire out with a damp cloth. I don’t know whether this had anything to do with it, but I never saw H. G. Wells at Dunsany again.
I was at Dunsany for four years in all before leaving in 1930 to become full-time valet to the second Lord St. Levan. He lived in St. Michael’s Mount, a castle just off the southern coast of England, in Cornwall. The Mount is about a quarter of a mile from the mainland. It can be reached by causeway eight hours out of twenty-four, but at high tide the sea is fifteen feet deep in the center of the causeway and the Mount becomes an island.
I took the job because I had never been to Cornwall and the second lord said he traveled. I went all round the world with him. Wherever he wanted to go, he just went. If it was cold when we returned to England, we’d pop off again. I made all the arrangements, bought the tickets and more or less made the world smooth for him and his party.
A valet was almost always a bachelor because so much of his time was spent traveling with his employer. So in 1933 after I married Barbara, who was parlormaid at the castle, I left the Mount for my first butlering job. I was twenty-six. For two years I worked for Mr. Dunkels, who was head of the Diamond Corporation, and Barbara worked as head parlormaid (the female equivalent of a butler) in another household.
I left in 1935 to become butler to Colonel Trotter, who lived at Charterhall, Berwickshire, Scotland. The house was a halfway stop for Princess Alice, who frequently stayed with us on her way to visit the Queen at Balmoral. Barbara and I were given a cottage on the estate. Our two daughters, Jill and Brenda, were born there, and we lived there for twelve years. During that time the war came, and I went into the army.
Soon after I returned at the end of the war, Colonel Trotter died. While I was mulling over my future, I received a letter from the third Lord St. Levan, who had succeeded his uncle at the Mount. He wrote asking me to come back as his butler. I said I’d come back for three months, which turned into nearly thirty years!
In my day we knew exactly what we had to do and what our roles were. The person who presided over the entire house was the lady of the house. Her three principals were the butler, the housekeeper and the cook: if there were arrangements to be discussed, she would see us in that order. The butler oversaw the pantry staff (the footmen, steward’s room boy and hallboy), the housekeeper oversaw the housemaids and the stillroom maids (the women who made the preserves and cakes—a room was set aside for this) and the cook or chef oversaw the kitchen and the kitchen maids.
The housekeeper looked after the household linen. She was responsible for the staff quarters, whereas the butler was in charge of the front of the house. Normally butler, housekeeper and cook worked closely together, but if any of the three disliked each other, there was trouble. And some housekeepers could be quite nasty. They were lonely people and nearly always spinsters, although they were always called “Mrs.” as a mark of respect. Cooks were also addressed in this manner. A cook was usually very bad-tempered; if she wasn’t struggling against a clock, she was struggling against an oven. A cook seldom stayed at a house as long as the housekeeper, and if she did she was likely to be rather a tyrant. Nine times out of ten a butler or housekeeper stayed at the same house for years—perhaps thirty or forty years.
Next in line to the butler and housekeeper were the valet and lady’s maid. Up until the second war any gentleman of any consequence had a valet, and every lady had a lady’s maid. The sons were looked after by the footmen and the daughters by the younger lady’s maid, who was also the head housemaid. Footmen also looked after gentlemen guests who traveled without their valet, and housemaids looked after visiting ladies who traveled without their maid.
The head housemaid was directly beneath the lady’s maid in rank, and she was equal to the first footman. The second housemaid was equal to the second footman and the third housemaid equal to the third footman. There might be seven housemaids in all, and the younger housemaids were equal to the steward’s room boy and the hallboy. On the kitchen side of the house, the first kitchen maid was directly beneath the cook and equal to the first footman; the second and third kitchen maid were equal to the second and third footman. The scullery maid, who prepared the vegetables for cooking and washed the pots and the pans, was on a par with the hallboy.
As a rule, the large houses had footmen and a butler to oversee them, and the smaller houses had parlormaids and a head parlormaid. Parlormaids and footmen were never mixed, as they did the same work—the second parlormaid ranked with the first footman and the third parlormaid with the second footman. Most head parlormaids only had two parlormaids under them. The drawback to parlormaids was that they weren’t able to do the same heavy work as footmen. A man would have to come in daily to carry coal or lift heavy leaves from the dining room table.
Our uniforms were provided by the family. A hallboy wore a dark gray flecked suit, which we called a salt and pepper but was officially described as a morning suit. Every male member of staff had one of these in his cupboard.
In addition to his salt and pepper the steward’s room boy had a dark blue coat similar to a bellhop’s jacket, which he wore with black box-cloth trousers. A footman wore a salt and pepper when he was working at the back of the house, for instance cleaning silver. Whenever he was waiting on the family he wore livery. A valet usually only wore a salt and pepper. Until the mid-1920s a butler wore a gray morning tailcoat with a cutaway front over a pair of gray striped trousers. After that time, a butler would wear a black evening tailcoat all day long. In the evening he changed from the gray trousers into a pair of black trousers with a fine silk line running down the side.
When I was a footman, the senior staff stood very much on their dignity, and the rest of the staff were acutely aware of their status within the house. No one could help out anyone else. We didn’t help the kitchen people, however busy they were, and we certainly wouldn’t help a housemaid.
The first, second and third housemaids were responsible for the appearance of the drawing room, and they made sure the curtains, chair covers, ornaments and flowers were in good order. They also saw that nothing needed dusting and that the furniture was kept well polished. The younger housemaids did the hard physical work of cleaning grates and laying fires.
As with housemaids, what a footman did depended on his rank. Generally, our first job in the morning was to wake the gentlemen and see that their clothes were brushed and laid out ready for them to wear. Later on we saw that the gentlemen’s evening clothes were left clean and ready for them to step into for dinner. We laid the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner and cleared it afterwards. We served lunch and dinner. We laid the table for tea at four thirty in the afternoon and served drinks at six o’clock in the evening. Throughout most of the day—unless it was our morning for cleaning silver—we received guests, answered the telephone and waited on the family at the front of the house.
When dinner was over, we tidied the gentlemen’s rooms and removed their clothes to brush them. At about ten thirty or eleven o’clock, there was the grog tray to take into the drawing room. And we weren’t free until the family and their guests had gone to bed. If we were unlucky and they were playing a long game of billiards or cards, this might mean four in the morning. On really busy nights we didn’t go to bed at all, as our day started again at six.
Product details
- Publisher : Potter Style; Reissue edition (November 6, 2012)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 208 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0385344708
- ISBN-13 : 978-0385344708
- Item Weight : 15.3 ounces
- Dimensions : 6.91 x 0.81 x 8.55 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #257,388 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #111 in Feng Shui (Books)
- #427 in Home Cleaning, Caretaking & Relocating
- #20,562 in Reference (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Customers find the book provides useful information and tips for keeping a home. They describe it as an informative and enjoyable read. The book provides valuable historical insights and fun facts that are educational and of value today. Overall, readers consider it a great seller and recommend it to others.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book provides useful information and tips on maintaining a household. They appreciate the detailed explanations and helpful answers to questions. The book is described as a memoir and how-to manual for maintaining a household. Readers mention that the old information is still useful, and the book is not stuffy or full of rules.
"...Literally everything in the book is important to know and I think it should be more heavily circulated. It really is a must have." Read more
"...It is a combination of useful tips, historical insight, and fun facts. It also works well as a coffee table book and conversation starter...." Read more
"...However, there are detailed instructions (many with illustrations) of how to do some of the many chores this butler was required to do throughout..." Read more
"...contains numerous hints that we can use nowadays, such as cleaning methods and materials, plus ways of preserving valuable heirlooms, antiques, etc.,..." Read more
Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They say it's a great resource for anyone who wants to do things right, such as packing and setting tables. The content is well-written and easy to comprehend.
"...It can be read intensively or just randomly. Overall, an interesting and fun book." Read more
"Overall, a delightful read. Well-written and easy to understand...." Read more
"A great book for anyone who wants to do things right from packing, setting tables, polishing silver and how to keep stored .....just about anything." Read more
"If you're a fan of Downton Abbey, this book is for you! It's a well written and detailed tome on what it takes to keep one of the big British..." Read more
Customers find the book informative and interesting. They appreciate the historical insights and fun facts. The instructions are educational and still relevant today. It provides a great window into a way of life that we in the U.S. never experienced. The book provides ideas and explanations for wonderful things.
"...It is a combination of useful tips, historical insight, and fun facts. It also works well as a coffee table book and conversation starter...." Read more
"...reference guide for writers as well as historians, and it's an entertaining read for those with a casual or passing interest in the subject." Read more
"...Our family found it fascinating, plus it contains numerous hints that we can use nowadays, such as cleaning methods and materials, plus ways of..." Read more
"...it yet but find the book full of information and find Stanley Ager's observations fascinating...." Read more
Customers find the book educational and of value. They say it's a great seller.
"...I found the instructions informative, educational, and of value, even in today's world...." Read more
"...setting and service, and packing clothes for travel are worth the price of admission...." Read more
"Great Place to Buy..." Read more
"Great Seller!..." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on August 1, 2024This is a must-have book for anyone that hosts dinner parties! It has some narrative about the author's life, which is colorful, but the true metal of the book is in the 'how to' info. Literally everything in the book is important to know and I think it should be more heavily circulated. It really is a must have.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2019I bought this for a present for my wife, but I checked with her first to be sure she wouldn't be offended. It is a combination of useful tips, historical insight, and fun facts. It also works well as a coffee table book and conversation starter. It can be read intensively or just randomly. Overall, an interesting and fun book.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2016Overall, a delightful read. Well-written and easy to understand. I most enjoyed the sprinkling of personal anecdotes and would have preferred more of them (that's why I gave it only 4 stars). However, there are detailed instructions (many with illustrations) of how to do some of the many chores this butler was required to do throughout his years of service. I found the instructions informative, educational, and of value, even in today's world. I recommend this for anyone interested in reading about "life in an English Manor" as well as anyone interested in learning how things were done (just prior to, and after WWII). It's a great reference guide for writers as well as historians, and it's an entertaining read for those with a casual or passing interest in the subject.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2012We love this book. It is a great window into a way of life that we in the U.S. never (or hardly ever) experience. Our family found it fascinating, plus it contains numerous hints that we can use nowadays, such as cleaning methods and materials, plus ways of preserving valuable heirlooms, antiques, etc., and much more. The subtitle tells everything about what the book is about, so no one should be surprised that it is not a mystery or who-done-it, for instance! Would recommend this book to anyone with a special interest in the subject.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2023A great book for anyone who wants to do things right from packing, setting tables, polishing silver and how to keep stored .....just about anything.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2013This kindle edition seems to be formatted well enough but the illustrations are too small to see (guess I'll have to get an 8.9" kindle fire some day) so I'll use the PC kindle reading software to see it on a larger screen.
There is some good information for anyone to use. I work at a church as a jack of all trades and many times I have to set up a table for a small lunch of six to ten people and the information here will help me to make it look better than just something slapped together.
I also have to clean the pastors coat from time to time and the tip of using a soft haired brush to clean a coat has come in handy. They don't seem to make brushes just for that use anymore so instead I have used a horse hair shoe polish brush instead and it is working fine when used as he shows. Just remember to write on it what it's being used for so no one uses it for shoes. I would not want to see old shoe polish brushed on a white coat!
- Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2018What kind of person becomes a Butler? What do Butlers actually do between serving up the post-dinner Port accompanied by the obligatory sense of dry humor? What's behind that door leading to the kitchen and the inner workings of the house we rarely get to see? These were some of the questions I had that made me order the book in the first place. Stanley Ager and Fiona St. Aubyn did an amazing job answering every question I had. Reading the book took me on a journey behind the scenes that gave me a better understanding of how it's really done.
After reading the book, however, nothing has been the same at home: The furniture is polished, the floors get waxed regularly, glasses get polished, and all items of clothing are arranged smartly. OCD? I'd argue otherwise. Stanley's view of organization and means of running a household got me inspired to give it a go, and once I did it made it almost impossible to look back. It's only been four months since I purchased the book, these chores have become routine, and I feel no signs of wanting to let up. I don't enjoy calling it a night with dirty dishes lingering in the sink anymore and my wife is over the moon.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2024Great information on how to run a household staff
Top reviews from other countries
- AJReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 17, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars An insight into the lives of the upper class
The book has too many pages on cleaning and how to do it, which was really funny and interesting at the same time, and the last chapter on how to go to a romantic picnic, just did it for me. Hence, this review.
- M ElkingtonReviewed in the United Kingdom on May 25, 2013
5.0 out of 5 stars The Butler's Guide - review
This book was very useful when packing a morning coat and trousers for my husband and a silk suit to go to a wedding in France. I followed Stanley Ager's instructions on how to fold the clothes. All came out of the suitcase without a crease and ready to be worn. This saved me a great deal of inconvenience and also the expense of getting them pressed.
- johnniemac83Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 20, 2013
4.0 out of 5 stars Unexpected words of wisdom
I bought this as a present for a Downton Abbey fan, but now I think I am going to keep it as so much of the information it contains is unexpectedly useful. Even though Stanley Ager was a butler in a great house and was surrounded by beautiful and valuable things, much of what he says is just as useful to those of us in more humble abodes. He is very sensible about routines, cleaning and keeping things tidy, and his tips for storing wine or making a dining table look pretty are still valid. Of course it is dated and old fashioned at times, but that adds to its charm. A book to treasure!
- Gonzalo1973Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 27, 2015
5.0 out of 5 stars Great knowledge from a forgotten world
It is an amazing book. Knowledge from the old times about how to run a house in a perfect way, letting us know how was the life in the old times.
- Mr John WestReviewed in the United Kingdom on December 21, 2013
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy purchase.
A clean copy at a second-hand price and swift delivery. I first read this book many years ago and did not expect to find a copy so easily.