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Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much) Paperback – November 1, 2022

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 83 ratings

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2023 National Parenting Product Award Winner

2023 Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist

Twelve practical strategies to experience more joy and feel less guilt as a working parent, drawn from ACT, the groundbreaking therapy technique that has helped countless people.


Dr. Yael Schonbrun calls out the myth of the work-life balance and offers practical strategies that can help us reframe our approach to working and parenting from the inside out. Based in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), these strategies won’t create more hours in the day, but they can shift how we label our experiences, revise the stories we tell ourselves about working and parenting, and recognize the value we get from each role.

Differing values and commitments pull working parents in opposite directions and the social supports families desperately need are lacking. Yet even with these very real challenges, we can find more peace and less stress.

Some of these strategies include:

  • Getting clear on our values and using these to help us make what often feel like no-win choices around time and resources
  • Practicing mindfulness in both parenting and working
  • Subtracting less meaningful obligations from our lives

These steps can help you crush both roles, with examples from the author’s research that show families of many shapes and backgrounds.
Read more Read less

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Work, Parent, Thrive is an essential antidote to today’s stressful working-parent culture. Yael Schonbrun shares simple and useful strategies for parents who want to feel grounded, connected, and fulfilled in all aspects of their lives.”—Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

“Combining work and parenting is overwhelming, and too often we feel they are in conflict. This book provides simple, practical tools for making them work together.”—Emily Oster, author of
Cribsheet and The Family Firm

“This might as well have been called ‘How to Be a Happier Working Parent’—and it will, indeed, help you do just that.”—KJ Dell’Antonia,
The New York Times bestselling author of The Chicken Sisters and How to Be a Happier Parent

“If you want life advice from a dry scientific text, put this book down now. But if you want a book that feels like a conversation with a smart, empathetic friend who’s seen it all and helped countless clients improve their lives—and can help you with yours—read
Work, Parent, Thrive.”—Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, author of Rest

“This book is for every working parent who thinks they don’t have the time to read it. Make time! Yael Schonbrun combines academic scholarship, clinical expertise, and personal experience as a mother of three to offer deeply wise advice on how to manage our inner lives while we wait for society to make the outer lives of us working parents more manageable.”—Barry Schwartz, author of
The Paradox of Choice and Why We Work

“Parenting is hard. Working is hard. Caring deeply about both is even harder. In an area rife with judgment, hot-takes, and ‘hacks,’ thank goodness for Yael Schonbrun. She offers much-needed nuance and complexity and provides an evidence-based framework to harmoniously integrate what, for many people, are the two most important parts of their lives—family and craft.”—Brad Stulberg, author of
The Practice of Groundedness and Peak Performance

“Reading
Work, Parent, Thrive is like chatting with a knowledgeable best buddy, one brimming with fascinating stories, cutting-edge science, and practical tips from the therapy room. Yael Schonbrun offers a way to accept our working-parent reality and use elements from both worlds to our advantage. It’s just what every working parent needs!” Michele Borba, Ed.D., educational psychologist and author of Thrivers: The Surprise Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine

“You likely picked up this book to find a way forward as a working parent. That’s a fine start, but not just any solution will do. You are a living, breathing human being, not a broken dishwasher. A truly effective way forward needs to help you become aware of your own self story, to focus on how you relate to your own insides, and to aid you in finding meaning and purpose. Those are the kind of processes that pay off in every area of life. It will take both knowledge and practice, but this wise and well-written book will deliver scientifically sound know-how in clear, bite-sized units—you just need to supply the energy and commitment to learn and to grow. Ready when you are! I can highly recommend the journey.”—Steven C. Hayes, PhD, originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Foundation Professor of Psychology, University of Nevada, Reno

Work, Parent, Thrive is an invaluable roadmap for thriving in working parenthood.”—Lori Gottlieb, The New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

“In a moment when we’re all drowning in demands, this book is an engaging, evidence-based analysis on how we can stay afloat. As a working parent, it will save you more time than it takes to read.”—Adam Grant,
The New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

“The path to becoming a parent is not linear and often met with numerous feelings. One of the most common—but least talked about—is a case of identity crisis. Dr. Schonbrun offers a framework of reimagined working parenthood that burns guilt and shame to ultimately thrive.”—Eve Rodsky,
The New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space

“An effective guide to viewing both working and parental roles as symbiotic and mutually strengthening. . . . This will be a balm for overwhelmed working parents.”—Publishers Weekly

“Shares how working parents can change their mindset, take a strategic approach to work and parenting and improve their emotional well-being. . . .
Work, Parent, Thrive helps you achieve success—and reduce stress—in both domains of your life.”—Success

About the Author

YAEL SCHONBRUN, PhD, is assistant professor of psychology at Brown University, a family therapist, and co-host of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock. In 2014, she wrote a piece on motherhood and ambition for the New York Times that went viral. She has since contributed a chapter to Double Bind: Women on Ambition alongside Roxane Gay, Molly Ringwald, and others and has written for Psychology Today.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Shambhala (November 1, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1611809657
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1611809657
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.19 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.03 x 1 x 9.01 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 83 ratings

About the author

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Yael Schonbrun
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Yael Schonbrun, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, author, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and mother of three. Yael uses evidence-based science to help individuals and couples learn to manage work, parenting, and marriage in more effective and fulfilling ways. She draws upon treatments that integrate ancient Eastern philosophy with scientifically backed practices. And she uses stories and humor to bring concepts to life in her writing, speaking, and clinical practice.

In addition to her book, Work, Parent, Thrive, Yael’s writing has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly.

Yael lives outside of Boston with her husband, their three small comedians, and a cat who runs the show.

You can listen to Yael talk about concepts from psychology on her podcast, Psychologists Off the Clock:

offtheclockpsych.com

And you can read more about Yael at her website:

yaelschonbrun.com

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
83 global ratings
Important read for modern parents
5 Stars
Important read for modern parents
The world is a tough place right now for working parents. I’ve been feeling a sense of overwhelm and haven’t know what to do or how to handle it… until now.Dr. Schonbrun’s Work, Parent, Thrive gives practical tips and strategies for navigating this modern world.Thank you!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2024
This book takes the broad idea of mindfulness and makes it practical for ways to really ease some of the unavoidable working mom stress. I loved it so much reading it as a mom that I am re-reading it now and using it in my professional life as a behavior analyst.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2023
Yael Schonbrun’s Work, Parent, Thrive is a refreshing approach to the struggles of working parenthood. It acknowledges the difficulties working parents face without trying to sell readers the false promise that we can resolve all trade-offs if we can just get more organized or better at time management or self-care. Nor does it leave readers to slowly drown while waiting for society to change. It gives readers a useful framework for making more intentional and value-driven choices about how to meaningfully show up for our families, for our work, and for the world. I highly recommend it for parents who want to learn how the inherent tension between work and family role conflict can actually enhance our lives.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2024
Scienced based techniques are used to help balance life and work as a parent. It's easy to read and easy to apply. I've purchased several copies for friends and one for our library at work.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2022
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the eARC!

Boy, did this book make me feel seen. Highly recommend reading this if you’d like validation about how hard it is to balance life when you’re a working mom. This gave me some great ideas on how to change my mind set. There were some tools I knew about but some new insight I hope to start practicing
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2022
This book is worth the purchase. I'm not a huge fan of "self-help" books, though I've bought a handful in the last couple of years. They always leave me disappointed and are kind of struggle to get through. This book is different. It is rooted in evidence-based practices, is 100% relatable and I can't put it down. What I really struggle with as a working parent is that I love to work; my work gives me meaning outside of my other roles and I don't want to give that up. But it's a damn hard juggling act with kids (whom I love and couldn't live without). This book is helping me tease out that push-pull in way that I think will have lastly effects on my overall life happiness. I haven't finished it yet, but somehow, even though I have zero time as a working mom, I make time to read a few pages each night which is probably a really good strategy because it allows me to digest what I've read slowly and really implement as I go. Highly recommend!
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2023
As a Pediatrician and mom of 3 who recently had a baby and is due to go back to work in 3 weeks, I cannot emphasize how incredible this book has been for me; in fact, I am no longer experiencing that dread as the weeks get closer to returning to work.
"Hacks" and tips/tricks can maybe shave off a couple of minutes in your morning routine, but it doesn't change the fact that working parenthood is hard!
After reading "Work Parent Thrive," I've learned that embracing a growth and enrichment mindset makes all the difference while balancing these roles. Each role can help take the stress off of the other "a hug on a tough workday and a place to feel competent on a tough parenting day." Finding how parenting and working can enrich and strengthen each other helps you find the MOST JOY out of working parenthood, and instead of feeling like we are drowning, we can finally feel that we are THRIVING.
7 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2022
I had the pleasure of talking with the author Yael Schonbrun on my podcast, The Family Brain, and I made sure to set time with her quickly because I have a feeling this book is going to strike a cord with lots of people. Yael's work is for you if you feel pulled by the many roles you play in your life and like you are not great at any of them. She weaves together scientific research and stories in a way that make the strategies she suggests feel accessible. The one concept that struck me the most is how she talks about how there are so many factors outside of us that may make our roles difficult but that our power lies in our mindset about those roles. She offers concrete steps to take to help get your mindset in a place that will help you not be so pissed off. (my words not hers). Buy the book- its a game changer.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2023
This book is a game-changer. Filled with warmth and wisdom, tales from the parenting trenches, and cutting-edge research. It gives parents, whether working outside the home or not, a guide to thinking about parenting and work that allows our many and varied roles and tasks to be mutually supportive rather than in conflict. It provides a wealth of valuable tools for building the skills and mindset that will help parents hold the inner and outer turmoil lightly and pivot toward what matters, even when parenting is at its craziest. Buy it. Buy it now. Your children will thank you. You parenting partner will thank you. You co-workers will thank you.
2 people found this helpful
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