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The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You Hardcover – November 7, 2023
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A USA Today Bestseller
High-performance psychologist Michael Gervais presents a groundbreaking guide for overcoming what may be the single greatest constrictor of human potential: our fear of people’s opinions (FOPO).
FOPO shows up almost everywhere in our lives—and the consequences are great. When we let FOPO take control, we play it safe and small because we're afraid of what will happen on the other side of critique. When challenged, we surrender our viewpoint. We trade in authenticity for approval. We please rather than provoke. We chase the dreams of others rather than our own.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
In The First Rule of Mastery, Michael Gervais shows us that the key to leading a high-performance life is to redirect our attention from the world outside us to the world inside us. He reveals the mental skills and practices we need to overcome FOPO—the same skills he's taught to the top performers in the world, including sports MVPs, world-renowned artists and musicians, and Fortune 100 leaders and teams.
Filled with fascinating stories from the worlds of sports and business, leading-edge science, and insights from the frontier of human performance, The First Rule of Mastery is a much-needed wake-up call that when we give more value to other people's opinions than we do our own, we live life on their terms, not ours.
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarvard Business Review Press
- Publication dateNovember 7, 2023
- Dimensions5.75 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-101647823242
- ISBN-13978-1647823245
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Named one of the Top 23 Productivity Books of 2023 by The Next Big Idea Club
"…Gervais's ability to intertwine theory with actionable strategies make this a worthy addition to collections. Will appeal to a broad, general readership." — Library Journal
Advance Praise for The First Rule of Mastery:
"I love Mike Gervais—his insights, his straight talk, and his pitch-perfect advice! Mike draws on the latest research and his own practices and principles to explain why we care so much about what other people think of us and what to do about it." — Angela Duckworth, bestselling author, Grit; cofounder, The Character Lab
"Whether our pursuit of being our best is in business, in parenting, or in sports, Michael Gervais's The First Rule of Mastery helps us place attention on those elements within our control rather than wasting focus and energy on those that are not." — Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
"With each page, Michael Gervais gently guides us toward a liberating realization: our worth is not defined by the judgments and opinions of others, but by our own self-awareness, passion, and commitment to our craft." — Misty Copeland, principal dancer, American Ballet Theatre
"The First Rule of Mastery eloquently and convincingly shares modern insights and timeless wisdom to free us from the fear of other people's opinions (FOPO)." — Brady Brewer, Executive Vice President, Starbucks Corporation
"This book is an indispensable road map to self-mastery for us all." — Kerri Walsh Jennings, five-time Olympian and four-time medalist
"I so wish I had read this book earlier in my life. This is absolutely a game changer for anyone looking to become their very best self. . . ." — Julie Foudy, two-time FIFA Women's World Cup champion; two-time Olympic gold medalist
"An essential read for leaders seeking to inspire a culture of learning over external validation." — Kathleen Hogan, Chief Human Resources Officer, Microsoft
"This book is a master class on looking inward to determine our own value." — Apolo Ohno, eight-time Olympic medalist
About the Author
Michael Gervais, PhD, is one of the world's top high-performance psychologists. His clients include world record holders, Olympians, internationally acclaimed artists and musicians, MVPs from every major sport, and Fortune 100 CEOs. He is also the founder of Finding Mastery, a high-performance psychology consulting agency, the host of the Finding Mastery podcast, and the cocreator of the Performance Science Institute at the University of Southern California.
Kevin Lake is the Chief Creative Officer at Finding Mastery. He has collaborated with some of the world's leading performers. He produced Gleason, a feature documentary film that was short-listed for an Academy Award. He created and produced Playing It Forward in partnership with Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey. For seven years, he led the film division of Mel Gibson's Icon Productions.
Connect with Michael Gervais on Twitter and Instagram.
Product details
- Publisher : Harvard Business Review Press (November 7, 2023)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1647823242
- ISBN-13 : 978-1647823245
- Item Weight : 12.8 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #10,979 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Dr. Gervais is one of the world’s top high-performance psychologists and leading experts on the relationship between the mind and human performance. He has spent his career helping the best of the best across the worlds of business, sports, the arts, and science when they need to achieve the extraordinary. His clients include world record holders, Olympians, internationally acclaimed artists and musicians, MVPs from every major sport and Fortune 100 CEOs.
He is the founder of Finding Mastery, a high-performance psychology consulting agency that helps individuals and innovative companies solve the most dynamic human performance challenges through mindset training. Dr. Gervais is also the host of the top Finding Mastery Podcast, and the co-creator of the Performance Science Institute at USC.
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NOTE OF CAUTION:
This is not criticism, per se, but just a word of caution for the purchaser who might be considering this as a gift because you're trying to be helpful for someone else in your life who seems really stuck:
This book is likely going to resonate really well with people who are known for already being high performers. (You'll be able to spot this type because we're the sort who tend to beat ourselves up for the rare bouts of less disciplined life planning, we set high standards for ourselves then get really frustrated when we don't live up to our self-imposed expectations, we're up at 5a running drills even without a coach, and we're the up and coming business people/scholars who willingly work late into the night to ensure any job we do is excellent, etc. We like -- and need -- to know that we're living meaningful lives of purpose, accomplishing lasting goals that benefit others, not just ourselves, and we're very driven to follow through.)
Just know that if the person you are purchasing this book for would not be described like that, this might not be the right selection YET.
I mention that NOT as criticism of his book, because I love this book and I follow Dr. Mike like some people follow a religion-- he quite literally saved my life and he speaks straight to my inner dialogue as if he is INSIDE my brain. But I am a high performer by nature. His presentation style works to UNSTUCK me rather than add undue pressure.
So my only caution here is that if you are someone on the good-hearted hunt for a book that might help someone you care greatly about but who seems very stuck, but you're not sure how to help them, just proceed with caution here. If you found this book, you might be a high performer personality and might not see that this framework is not inclusively relevant to all personality types.
If the person you're trying to help isn't someone who you've already observed showcasing "high performer" traits, there might be other literature to start with first BEFORE they will THEN be ready to return here be ready to receive and lift off with Dr. Mike's framework.
(I say this because I'm simultaneously reading a similar book because negative self-talk is something that really burdens me. I wanted to get a few different perspectives. The other book is Blessing My Demons by Forbrook, which I chose because there are many complementary parallels between Dr. Mike's book. An interview between him and the other author, Chelsea Forbrook, would be super cool, though! They're discussing the exact same thing, but I just wonder if he'd be open to considering how his framework could be even more inclusively relevant if he expanded his thinking/approach just a bit.)
Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2023
NOTE OF CAUTION:
This is not criticism, per se, but just a word of caution for the purchaser who might be considering this as a gift because you're trying to be helpful for someone else in your life who seems really stuck:
This book is likely going to resonate really well with people who are known for already being high performers. (You'll be able to spot this type because we're the sort who tend to beat ourselves up for the rare bouts of less disciplined life planning, we set high standards for ourselves then get really frustrated when we don't live up to our self-imposed expectations, we're up at 5a running drills even without a coach, and we're the up and coming business people/scholars who willingly work late into the night to ensure any job we do is excellent, etc. We like -- and need -- to know that we're living meaningful lives of purpose, accomplishing lasting goals that benefit others, not just ourselves, and we're very driven to follow through.)
Just know that if the person you are purchasing this book for would not be described like that, this might not be the right selection YET.
I mention that NOT as criticism of his book, because I love this book and I follow Dr. Mike like some people follow a religion-- he quite literally saved my life and he speaks straight to my inner dialogue as if he is INSIDE my brain. But I am a high performer by nature. His presentation style works to UNSTUCK me rather than add undue pressure.
So my only caution here is that if you are someone on the good-hearted hunt for a book that might help someone you care greatly about but who seems very stuck, but you're not sure how to help them, just proceed with caution here. If you found this book, you might be a high performer personality and might not see that this framework is not inclusively relevant to all personality types.
If the person you're trying to help isn't someone who you've already observed showcasing "high performer" traits, there might be other literature to start with first BEFORE they will THEN be ready to return here be ready to receive and lift off with Dr. Mike's framework.
(I say this because I'm simultaneously reading a similar book because negative self-talk is something that really burdens me. I wanted to get a few different perspectives. The other book is Blessing My Demons by Forbrook, which I chose because there are many complementary parallels between Dr. Mike's book. An interview between him and the other author, Chelsea Forbrook, would be super cool, though! They're discussing the exact same thing, but I just wonder if he'd be open to considering how his framework could be even more inclusively relevant if he expanded his thinking/approach just a bit.)
I have been following Dr. Gervais and his team for years now since I first started listening to his podcast "Finding Mastery". On this podcast, he brings on some of the best athletes, leaders & performers from all over the world and has deep, open, honest, and insightful conversations with them. They range from lighthearted banter, finishing statements, and quick rapid fire questions to some really really raw questions about insecurity, fear, and - FOPO.
This book is a culmination of a lot of those conversations. The research and story telling in this book reminds us to look inward and to be forgiving to ourselves. To find our own power, trust it and to genuinely anchor deep into it. We all know what it's like to feel the stares we get from other people and focus on the fear and anxiety that that kind of feeling brings. Dr. Gervais is able to so easily explain that feeling and break it down as a completely normal part of life. He is able to relate to it himself, as well as call upon countless stories from his time as one of the world's best high-performance psychologists and probably overall just being a good dude. Thank you and your team for all of the hard work that went into this book, it has made a profound impact in my life! It's so good I bought 10 for my dearest friends and family!
- Scott, guy with fopo
Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2023
I have been following Dr. Gervais and his team for years now since I first started listening to his podcast "Finding Mastery". On this podcast, he brings on some of the best athletes, leaders & performers from all over the world and has deep, open, honest, and insightful conversations with them. They range from lighthearted banter, finishing statements, and quick rapid fire questions to some really really raw questions about insecurity, fear, and - FOPO.
This book is a culmination of a lot of those conversations. The research and story telling in this book reminds us to look inward and to be forgiving to ourselves. To find our own power, trust it and to genuinely anchor deep into it. We all know what it's like to feel the stares we get from other people and focus on the fear and anxiety that that kind of feeling brings. Dr. Gervais is able to so easily explain that feeling and break it down as a completely normal part of life. He is able to relate to it himself, as well as call upon countless stories from his time as one of the world's best high-performance psychologists and probably overall just being a good dude. Thank you and your team for all of the hard work that went into this book, it has made a profound impact in my life! It's so good I bought 10 for my dearest friends and family!
- Scott, guy with fopo
One of the many things I love is it gets you to think about how much influence other peoples opinions have on your everyday life, then become more aware and be able to be more at choice. At work and at life. And all based in research with practical application and exercises, not anxiety-inducing quick-fix BS. Consistent work over time makes the change. It's not that I haven't worked on these things before and still do, but it's confirming that we're so much more at choice in our thoughts, words actions than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. The ability to choose what to let it, how to react, rather than be driven by it. And doing to work to manage the worry so as to unlock more of your potential. Moreover, how about learning to show up more for yourself than for someone else's opinion? The stories/examples in here are riveting, relatable and fascinating (aka can't put down the book) and make the practical content and accessible concepts really come to life.
It's an incredibly validating and motivating book, the real deal.
One of the many things I love is it gets you to think about how much influence other peoples opinions have on your everyday life, then become more aware and be able to be more at choice. At work and at life. And all based in research with practical application and exercises, not anxiety-inducing quick-fix BS. Consistent work over time makes the change. It's not that I haven't worked on these things before and still do, but it's confirming that we're so much more at choice in our thoughts, words actions than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. The ability to choose what to let it, how to react, rather than be driven by it. And doing to work to manage the worry so as to unlock more of your potential. Moreover, how about learning to show up more for yourself than for someone else's opinion? The stories/examples in here are riveting, relatable and fascinating (aka can't put down the book) and make the practical content and accessible concepts really come to life.
It's an incredibly validating and motivating book, the real deal.
Top reviews from other countries
This book is a masterpiece because the way, Michael explains the need of Focus and finding mastery when you find your inner self.
I must out myself as a big Fan.
Everyone I care about will read this book.