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Tough Titties: On Living Your Best Life When You're the F-ing Worst Hardcover – June 13, 2023

by Laura Belgray (Author)

4.7 495 ratings

Goodreads Choice Award nominee

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER

From award-winning TV writer Laura Belgray, a hilarious collection of full-body-cringe, watch-through-your-fingers life lessons her own husband calls “loser Sex and the City.”

What does it take to grow up cool and popular, master adulthood, fast track your success, and always be your best? Laura Belgray wouldn’t know.

Her wildly relatable coming-of-age stories include hate-following her 6th grade bully on social media decades later; moving home post-college to measure her self-worth in hookups with Upper West Side bartenders; dating a sociopathic man-baby; proving herself in the early ‘90s at New York’s coolest magazine (as the world’s worst intern); falling for get-rich-quick schemes on the Internet; and, most of all, saying “tough titties” to the supposed-to’s in life: driving a car, being on time, handing in your paperwork, learning to roast a chicken, and having kids.

Peppered with cutting insights on our confusing, self-helpy culture that calls hair removal “self care” and tells us to give our 110% but also to give zero f*cks, Tough Titties will leave you feeling better about, well, everything. Let’s face it: we’re all tired of shame-spiraling after being told what to do when we know we’re not going to do any of it.

Tough Titties is one big permission slip to be a dork, a sometimes-unspiritual slacker, a late bloomer and, ultimately, 100% yourself. It’ll also have you snort-laughing in public and tapping whoever’s nearby to say, “Lemme read you one more part!” Which is annoying, but tough titties.

“Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She’s got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life’s most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you.” --Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable

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From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“I loved Tough Titties and didn’t want it to end! Through her insightful wit and sarcasm, Laura Belgray speaks to the late bloomers and slow starters in us all.”―Kelly Ripa, New York Times bestselling author of Live Wire

“Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She’s got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life’s most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you.”

―Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable

“Where has Laura Belgray been all my life? Hilarious, eloquent, wise, she writes with delicious honesty about coming of age, falling in love, and finding meaning in these weird and chaotic times. I loved Tough Titties so much I want to press it in the hands of everyone I pass on the street!”―Joanna Rakoff, international bestselling author of My Salinger Year and A Fortunate Age

“I’ve been a fan of Laura Belgray’s hilarious, tell-it-like-it-is writing for years. She was an early influence on my own craft, and I count her among my teachers. Laura’s for anyone who keeps waking up disappointed to find they didn’t become a different, more pulled-together person in their sleep.”―Holly Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of Quit Like a Woman

"If you're worried you're doing life wrong, Tough Titties will give you hope. It's proof that you can be a flaming mess, make questionable choices, have no plan, and turn out just fine. I laughed, I cringed, I nodded in recognition—on just about every page."―Emily McDowell, founder of Em & Friends

"Laura Belgray's voice is smart, shockingly honest, and laugh-out-loud funny. In these essays, you'll find that best friend who always makes you feel better, about everything."―Kimberly McCreight, New York Times bestselling author of Reconstructing Amelia and A Good Marriage

About the Author

Laura Belgray is the founder of Talking Shrimp and co-creator of The Copy Cure with Marie Forleo. She has been featured in Fast Company, Money Magazine, Forbes, Vox, and Business Insider, and has written for Fandango, NBC, HBO, TBS, Nick at Nite, Nickelodeon, TV Land, FX, Nick Mom, VH1, TNT, Lifetime, Oxygen, the CW, and more. Belgray lives in New York.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Hachette Books (June 13, 2023)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0306826046
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0306826047
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.95 x 1.06 x 8.55 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #37,648 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #55 in Self-Help & Psychology Humor
- #114 in Humor Essays (Books)
- #1,395 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.7 495 ratings

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Laura Belgray

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Laura Belgray is the founder of Talking Shrimp and co-creator of The Copy Cure with Marie Forleo. She has been featured in Fast Company, Money Magazine, Forbes, Vox, and Business Insider, and has written for Bravo, Fandango, FX, NBC, HBO, USA, Nick at Nite, Nickelodeon, TV Land, VH1, and more. Belgray lives with her husband in New York and, except for college, has never lived anywhere else. Not coincidentally, she doesn’t drive.

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495 global ratings

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Colette BR

Smart Funny Relatable I loved it

Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2024

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I know Laura as her business moniker The Talking Shrimp so I expected this book to be well written. It was more than that . Hilarious !!! I laughed so much in some parts my husband asked me what the heck I was reading. I found it so relatable and refreshingly down to earth and honest. I loved it. I bought it for a couple friends.

One person found this helpful

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JVal

HILARIOUS... use caution when opening in public!

Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2023

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I FREAKING LOVE this book. Self-deprecating is not self-sabotaging in Laura's memoir. To look at one's life and write about memorable highs and lows but not hide behind them (or be a hater) is BRAVE. Her title alone hints at the honest humor she brings to her storytelling. It's a humorous storytelling of moments in early teens into adulthood. From the start the stories are both brave and engaging. It's easy to read and connect with, especially if you are of the best GeneraXon to-date. And the setting is New York, from the 70s to present. Cool in itself.

You won't expect her quips to cause you to laugh so loud you'll bring attention to yourself. Consider this your warning: use caution when opening in public! On a flight my seat mate thought I was choking on snacks. I had to snort through an "I'm okay it's just this book" mime. So glad the title says it all.

Okay, so she had a celebrated life in New York and born and raised with educated, wealthy parents. I didn't get to experience an iota of the same but still found myself in similar moments to hers. Growing up in the 80s was awkward for everyone so it was fun to be nostalgic for my own childhood and appreciate survival, from mean girls to cool shoes.

She reminds us that at all levels of who you are as a person, regardless of upbringing, you may be disliked, sad in your own skin, or insecure about the shoes you're wearing. But if you're able to tell a good story, find a loving soulmate and celebrate life to the fullest, you must have "Tough Titties".

2 people found this helpful

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Lisa C. Alvarez

I Cannot Stop Laughing

Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2023

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Tough Titties, by Laura Belgray, is laugh-out-loud hilarious. I know I've hit the jackpot when I can’t put a book down because my mood gets a glow-up while reading it. That’s this book.

Tough Titties is a memoir of short essays about Laura’s experiences growing up in NYC in the late-'70s, and early '80s, getting a late start to her career but ultimately finding success as a copywriter for Nickelodeon. Remember those funny Nick at Night promos? She wrote them.

The entire book is funny, but one of my favorite parts is the chapter about driving. This is what happened the first time Laura drove an ATV:

“I’d hopped on, expecting to zip easily down the road. Instead, I careened slowly into a stone wall, where the force of impact ejected me—also slowly—over that wall. Anna still does an impression of me going over the wall like a giant tree falling languidly. Or like an elderly tree lowering itself onto a beach chair. I walked away unhurt, if not exactly confident.”

I’m laughing right now just thinking about it.

But as funny as it is, Tough Titties is also endearingly vulnerable. From “Boys Don’t Like Me” to “B___ Jobs I Gave in the Early ‘90s” to “Self-Help Night Near the Midtown Tunnel” and ultimately “Company Woman,” the “hero’s journey” is unlike one you’ve ever seen before.

And thank goodness.

Because there’s a message in that. This quote sums it up nicely:

“It turns out my stubborn refusal to be a “supposed to” person has gotten me right where I'm supposed to be, and, if you ask me, the same can go for you. That's right: you can get ahead while feeling like you're a giant step behind and you can live your best life even if you're sometimes the fu&*ing worst.”

What makes this a worthwhile read - and not just a collection of funny stories - is the irony Laura artfully weaves throughout the book. You can succeed by not living up to hustle-culture expectations and not doing what you’re “supposed to” do to get ahead. And not only can you succeed, but you can live your best life. With a happy marriage and financial security, no less.

Now that’s a powerful message. And it’s entertaining, to boot! Quick, get your copy before they’re all gone!

9 people found this helpful

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kim

Honest and truly LOL funny

Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2023

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It seems like every time I’ve read a book or watched a movie based on a friend telling me how HILARIOUS it is, I’ve found myself questioning our friendship. How can we be friends if she finds THIS funny?

Not so with Tough Titties! I’m happy to report this book is actually as funny as everyone says it is.

It’s been a very long time since I read a book that had me laughing out loud throughout. Laura’s writing is so honest (“TMI served here”) and so conversational, you’ll feel like she’s sitting in front of you telling her stories as you read it.

As a fellow late-bloomer (yet to bloom, actually), I identify with maybe too much in this book - to include the middle school bullying, being a “gristle”-loving child and turning into a fat-phobic teen, utterly lacking initiative as an intern, desperate and cringey hook-ups, and even having “clock dysmorphia” (ask my mother or boyfriend or any employer I’ve ever had).

I’ve laugh-cried several times and I don’t want the book to end. My bf can hear me on the other side of the house cackling to myself, which he said is cute. Bonus!

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ChristyG

So funny I nearly peed my pants

Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2023

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Laura Belgray's TMI stories made me laugh so hard that I nearly peed myself. My husband was concerned that I'd burst a blood vessel or go completely mental. Nope, just giggling my abs into shape.

I lived in NYC through college and most of my adult life, so I appreciated all the NY references -- from the dive bars to the H&H bagels to bartending school at Columbia University (I took that class but failed to become a bartender). But you don't have to be a native New Yorker to appreciate the stories.

Laura's hilarious storytelling wraps in important lessons about creating the life you want while being true to who you are. I loved her stories of navigating the social circles in private school, going to "Studio", aspirations of becoming a bartender and finally finding a way to tap her talent.

I didn't want it to end. Highly entertaining and very funny.

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Top reviews from other countries

kirka

Highly bingeable!

Reviewed in Canada on July 6, 2023

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I read Tough Titties over the course of a few nights after the kids had gone to sleep, and I looked forward to it the way I look forward to watching more of a show I really love. This may sound like nothing, but it is high praise from me. I love reading, I love books, but I also LOVE TV, and I can't think of the last book I read that felt like mainlining my latest fave series the way this did. There are page turners, sure, but this book is something different. It's bingeable.

That's not to say that it's a piece of fluff or "commercial" in the soulless sense of that word. Laura is a smart, sophisticated storyteller who made me laugh out loud I don't know how many times throughout. Like, this is sharp, top tier hilarious writing. But it also feels like gossip, the dirt the rest of us might only tell our very best friend, the indignities we might not ever admit to anyone. Plus some salacious run-ins with real-life celebrities Laura doesn't name, but about whom she leaves a bunch of clues that had me in sleuth mode on Google for a good hour.

Best of all, it's a balm for any shame you might feel around your own past humiliations and/or feelings about being behind in life. There are no instructions for levelling up, there are no steps or exercises. There is just Laura telling her story, in a super entertaining (and often touching) way. And yet you somehow walk away feeling more accepting of and more confident about your own. Pretty brilliant, if you ask me.

One person found this helpful

Amy

Warning: Don't read while drinking diet coke!!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 17, 2023

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Have you ever snorted so hard that diet coke's spurted out both nostrils? I have. And now there's a mysterious splodge on page 59. Tough Titties is an absolute blast from beginning to end. Laura's writing style is so deliciously moreish (much like the Hershey's ice cream she confesses to stealing from her housemate's freezer) and I grinned my way through every chapter. If you like your humor sarcastic with a side of ridiculous, you'll want to do more than grab a copy. You'll want to grab your best friend a copy too! Thanks for all the laughs, Laura. I'm proud to be spreading the titties!

One person found this helpful

Bleistiftliebe

I found it more moving than funny (though clever and witty), wonderful and mesmerizing read

Reviewed in Germany on July 17, 2023

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I found it more moving than funny (though clever and witty), wonderful and mesmerizing read (if you grew up in 70/80s/90s especially)Really loved this book and yes, read it with much, much pleasure. I think it helps if you have some memories or are familiar with New York City, but maybe if not, you will learn how crazy childhood during that time. I liked the stark honesty of the author, who put the magnifiying glass where it could be uncomfortable. She does not shrink away. I know the author as a email-writing coach and did not expect a book with such depths, which I found very touching. It was emotional without being emotional or corny at all. Great Job, Laura, I was really impressed by your ruthless honesty. That's brave and made it a great read.

Sara T

Laura tells it like it was

Reviewed in Australia on June 26, 2023

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I paid over the odds to get this book sent to Melbourne, Australia because I wanted a laugh. It didn't disappoint. 'Tough Titties' takes you back to the days before the internet, before we had language around consent. Laura is irreverent. She embraces her flaws with a gentle sprinkle of shame. She spends the day shagging in a dorm instead of protesting injustice. She ditches her friend to hang with a celeb. She's late for almost everything. It made me nostalgic for those early days of not knowing who I would become or how to get there. And those random moments looking backwards that were glimmers of what might be.

Sasha Alexandra Lipskaia

Laura Belgray's wisdom will inspire you to smile and trust your big vision and follow your heart!

Reviewed in Canada on August 2, 2023

Verified Purchase

This book is a warm hug of inspiration, joy, and love!
Laura Belgray has created something magical with this book. Belgray has been someone I have admired for years, and this book has clearly shown me why. Her life story is funny, touching, outrageous, and inspiring for creative weirdos and big dreamers like myself, and her tone conveys authenticity, grit, courage, compassion, and trust. As someone who has always pursued my heart's calling instead of a traditional career or family, it is refreshing to feel a kindred soul in Belgray's relatable yet nurturing and wise voice as we enter a time in history where we get to choose our definition of success and also..re-define it daily. If you want an inspiring and thought-provoking read, get this book now. It is delightful to read while touching on deeply sensitive and important issues for any woman (or man) on a self-discovery and self-love journey. Own your frak-fag, and do what you feel called to with it. Fly, run, swim, or ride it, and anything goes so long as it feels true to you. Otherwise- Tough Titties!

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