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Languages Of Loss Hardcover – April 10, 2020

by Sasha Bates (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 123 ratings
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One person, two perspectives on grief. Plunged unexpectedly into widowhood at just 49 years old, psychotherapist Sasha Bates describes in searing honesty the agonisingly raw feelings unleashed by the loss of her husband and best friend, Bill. At the same time, she attempts to keep her therapist hat in place and create some perspective from psycho-analytic theory. From the depths of her confusion she gropes for ways to manage and bear the pain - by looking back at all that she has learnt from psychotherapeutic research, and from accepted grief theories, to help her make sense of her altered reality.

Languages of Los starts a necessary and overdue conversation about death and loss. It breaks down taboos and tries to find humour and light amidst the depressing, bewildering reality. It is an essential companion to help support readers through the agony of those early months, giving permission for all the feelings, and offering various methods of living with them.This book's overriding message is that everyone's experience of grief is different, but knowing more about the theory, and learning a new vocabulary, while not necessarily easing the grief, can help you feel less alone, and at some point enable you to reflect back and see how far you have come.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    263 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Yellow Kite
  4. Publication date
    April 10, 2020
  5. Dimensions
    5.43 x 1.18 x 8.66 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1529312698
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1529312690
  8. See all details
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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Yellow Kite (April 10, 2020)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 263 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1529312698
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1529312690
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.43 x 1.18 x 8.66 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 123 ratings

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Sasha Bates

Sasha Bates

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
123 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Christine Carlson
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful and moving
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2022
A deeply moving personal account with broad application. Highly recommended
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Birdy
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful account of personal experiences with grief met with theoretical support.
Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2021
An absolute beautiful, touching and insightful account of Sasha’s journey through grief - a perfect balance between her personal experiences and theoretical support. Her book left me resonating with her, as well as learning the needs of a grieving person. I have folded some of the page corners so that I can return to these and remind myself why I had found it so inspiring and impactful the first time. A must, must read!
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Top reviews from other countries

ChrisB
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written, intelligent and moving
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 6, 2021
Verified Purchase
This book is on one side a personal exploration of the experience of loss and grief, told with unflinching honesty and clarity. On the other hand it’s also an attempt to make sense of something apparently inconceivable (the death of a husband, the loss of a future) - drawing on the author’s professional experience and research. The result is a powerful combination of thought and feeling. The book avoids glib solutions - loss is not something we can ever just ‘get over’ and there is no redemptive happy ending. But reading this book helped me to understand my own experiences of loss - family members, friends, even less tangible feelings of sadness at what has been taken away or left behind. The book switches between the author’s personal journey and a recollection of resources or ‘languages’ for thinking and talking about loss. It’s moving, honest, funny. It’s also very well written - poetic metaphors capture the madness of grief, there are sharp stabs of pain, flashes of insight - and jokes. You can engage with it on lots of levels - one of the author’s arguments is that we need to find our own language of loss, not an off the shelf narrative. Not many books about grief could be described as enjoyable or enlightening - but Languages of Loss somehow succeed in being more than just a memoir or self help book. Read it and weep - but also smile and take heart.
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Jules
5.0 out of 5 stars Harrowing, generous, hopeful.
Reviewed in Australia on January 18, 2022
Verified Purchase
I first read Languages of Loss around one year ago and I still think about it. Sashas gorgeously harrowing account of losing her husband, Bill, will stay with me for a long time.

Sasha weaves her own experience with grief with her knowledge as a psychotherapist, into this incredibly generous, wise and heartbreaking memoir.

Whether you have experienced grief and are seeking a deeper understanding of it, love someone who is grieving, or have never been through grief at all, this book is for you.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book I've read in years
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 7, 2020
Verified Purchase
This is the best book I've read in years... A strange thing to write about a book on grief, I know. But if your measure of a good book is how gripped you are by it, and how much it stays with you afterwards, then this might be the best book you've read in years too. For someone who is struggling with the loss of a loved one, this book will offer great comfort because it puts into words all the pain and disbelief and horror - the cycle of emotions and the anger and the struggle. It is helpful to have someone articulate those feelings and you feel less alone with your grief, like you are on a shared journey towards healing as you read the book. The author is a trained therapist and she weaves the different theories about grief into her personal experiences, unpacking them and making them easy to apply to your own situation. I feel like I not only learned a lot about grief itself but also I really connected to the 'characters' - only in this case they are real people, the author and her lovely husband Bill. In this way I felt like I was also reading a love story and it made the book such a joy to read. So, it's not just for people grappling with grief (although it will hugely be a benefit for those). It is for anyone who enjoys reading about people, the human condition, love and friendship. It has given me a fresh sense of perspective and a deeper appreciation for my own husband! I have already ordered a copy of this book for an Auntie who has recently suffered a loss, and will buy it for anyone who is bereaved in the future. Thank you to the author for such beautiful writing and a wonderful book.
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Bondysgirl
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
This book is harrowingly honest. I loved the mix of the psychology and reality.

I read it after my sister in law died and could identify my own feelings and those of my brother.

My brother started reading it soon after his loss however he found it too raw because he could so completely identify with the author.

This is a truly valuable book for everyone to read irrespective of whether they have lost someone as it helps you see things from the bereaved person’s perspective.

Many people shy away from people who have been bereaved because they don’t know what to say or do because of their own discomfort. This book will certainly help.
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AZ
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpul insights into a first year of grief, but also a measure of the author
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 26, 2021
Verified Purchase
I valued the author's frankness in describing the first year of her grief and her needs therein - some very honest passages should be as useful to those who are close, as to those bereaved. This seems all the more likely to be the case in the particular circumstances of a bereaved person neither having children nor any close blood kinships, and coming to the changes in life that go with such a woman's moving into her fifites.
I feel with her book, as I did in reading C S Lewis' book 'A Grief Observed’, that it provides a measure of the author and reflects inevitably her privileged background and situation. In that sense, I was not pleased to be reading it, and I felt that some episodes pertained too much to that privilege.
I feel also that, for many so bereft, the passing of just one year might be expected to see rather less of the road travelled - another aspect of the extent to which the book is, perhaps, a measure of its author.
So, worth a read, but I'd say that one has to set aside the influence of the author's socioeconomic (and cultural) background and personality in order to appreciate its value fully.
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