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Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It Paperback – May 15, 2018

by Dr. Laurie Mintz (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 644 ratings
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  ***WINNER, 2019 CONSUMER BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD & 2021 MEDIA AWARD***
Awards given by major sexuality organizations to recognize the best book for promoting sexual health. First given by the Society for Sex Therapy and Research & second by the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health.
**Studies published in scientific journals show that women who read this book orgasm more, have more arousal & less pain, improve their body image, and become more sexually satisfied. Men learn how to pleasure women and become better sexual communicators.**

We've been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don't orgasm this way. We've separated our most reliable route to orgasm--clitoral stimulation--from how we feel we should orgasm--penetration. As a result, we've created a pleasure gap between women and men:
 
 
  • 50% of 18-35-year-old women say they have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner
  • 64% of women vs 91% of men said they had an orgasm at their last sexual encounter
  • 55% of men vs. 4% of women say they usually reach orgasm during first-time hookup sex
In Becoming Cliterate, psychology professor and human sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz exposes the broader cultural problem that's perpetuating this gap, and what we can do about it. Pulling together evidence from biology, sociology, linguistics, and sex therapy into one comprehensive, accessible, and prescriptive book, Becoming Cliterate features:
 
 
  • Cultural & historical analysis of female orgasm (spoiler: the problem's been going on for ages)
  • An anatomy section (it's all custom under the hood)
  • Proven techniques for cliterate sex (it starts with training the sex organ between your ears)
  • A comprehensive final chapter for men (because you don't have to have a clitoris to be cliterate)
 
By dispelling the lies, misunderstandings, and myths that have been holding us back, Becoming Cliterate tackles both personal and political problems and replaces them with updated outlooks and practical skills needed to change our collective perspective on sex. It's time to finally inform women and men on how to have satisfying experiences in bed that benefit both parties.
 
The revolution is cuming--and Becoming Cliterate offers a radical, simple solution to progress and pleasure for all.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    HarperOne
  4. Publication date
    May 15, 2018
  5. Reading age
    18 years and up
  6. Dimensions
    5.31 x 0.65 x 8 inches
  7. ISBN-10
    9780062664556
  8. ISBN-13
    978-0062664556
  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"An excellent, thorough, inspiring and much needed guide to the source of our deepest energy, pleasure,and power--the clitoris. Everyone needs to read this book and become CLITERATE." (Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues and In the Body of the World)

"This read doesn't just zero in on the politics of pleasure inequality, it also offers up solutions that help the reader become more hands on (literally) with their own sexuality." (Bust Magazine)

"Applicable and attainable lessons punctuated with [Mintz's] characteristic humor ... and impudent endorsement of pleasure-seeking as our prerogative. ... Unabashedly and refreshingly sex-positive" (Psychology of Women Quarterly).
"Fun, funny, and empowering. A must-read for people with clits, especially those who are having sex with people with penises." (Buzzfeed)

"Down with ill-cliteracy! The tongue is mightier than the sword! Brothers and Sisters-in-arms (and legs and butts and hearts and souls), bring your huddled masses to this book and embrace orgasm equality! Think outside HER box! Viva la Vulva!" (Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First)
"Brilliant." (goop)

"Becoming Cliterate will change how we think and talk about female sexual pleasure. The orgasm gap isn't a consequence of women not knowing how--it's a cultural problem that we should be reading about to discover what went wrong in the first place." (Betty Dodson, sex educator and author of Sex for One)

"What a fascinating and deeply empowering book. I wish every woman could read what Dr. Laurie Mintz has to teach us about our bodies." (Sara Benincasa, comedian and author of Real Artists Have Day Jobs (And Other Awesome Things They Don't Teach You In School)

"Women experience sexual pleasure - and, often orgasm - from diverse ways of physical and mental stimulation. This book provides a wealth of information on the clitoris and ways of imagining and creating a more fulfilling sexual life." (Debby Herbenick, PhD, associate professor at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good)

"For too long, men and women have assumed that getting a penis inside a vagina is the holy grail of sex. For men, maybe, but women's sexual satisfaction depends on way more than this. Fortunately, Laurie Mintz provides dozens of helpful suggestions to increase women's sexual pleasure. I encourage both men and women to read this valuable and insightful book." (Paul Joannides, Psy.D.,author of Guide to Getting it On)

"If you sometimes feel lost on the way to your orgasm, Becoming Cliterate is the map (and the cheering section) you need to find your way. Grounded in research and packed with real-world tips, readers will thank Mintz for her truth-telling." (Dorian Solot, co-author of I Love Female Orgasm)

"This book is set up like a college textbook for female orgasm, with some philosophy and pep talks and then some hands-on experimenting. And a chapter at the end for male partners to read. What more could you need?" (Book Riot)

"A fun and empowering reminder that sexual dissatisfaction is not inevitable....Becoming Cliterate does a good job questioning these basic assumptions, re-orienting us to another vision of what sex can be, and giving practical advice on how to be a boss bitch during sex." (Feministing)

"Laurie Mintz, a professor of psychology at the University of Florida, wins this year's award for best book title." (New York Times)

"Dr. Mintz is leading the revolution in how to become more sexually satisfied and understand the cultural forces that have worked against that for so many years." (Bustle)
"A manifesto for today's orgasmic insurrection....Mintz is unpretentious and intuitive....Becoming Cliterate will help many women reach their orgasm objectives." (Los Angeles Review of Books)

"Dr. Laurie Mintz draws up biology, sociology, and sex therapy to provide a comprehensive manual for both achieving orgasm and raising awareness about female orgasm. Readers will walk away with suggestions for changing our culture of sexuality and, more specifically, female orgasm." (PsychCRITIQUES)

"Personable, witty, and easy to read ... Becoming Cliterate could be considered a book for anyone with a vulva as well as anyone who is interested in having sex with someone with a vulva." (Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy)

About the Author

LAURIE MINTZ, Ph.D., is a college professor at the University of Florida, has received numerous professional and teaching awards, and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. She has published over fifty research studies, writes a popular Psychology Today blog, and has been quoted extensively in Parenting, Cosmopolitan, Prevention, Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, CNN.com, Oprah.com and The Huffington Post.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0062664557
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperOne; Reprint edition (May 15, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780062664556
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0062664556
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.65 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 644 ratings

About the author

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Laurie Mintz

Laurie Mintz

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Laurie Mintz (Ph.D.) is an Emeritus Professor at the University of Florida, teaching the Psychology of Human Sexuality to over 150 students a year. She is also a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist with over 30 years of experience working with clients, on both general and sexual issues. She is the author of two books aimed at empowering women sexually and both with published studies showing that those who read them enhance their sexual functioning: A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex (2009) and Becoming Cliterate (2017). She has also published over 60 academic works, and has been quoted extensively in the popular media. She gives presentations and workshops to both lay and professional audiences, including a TEDx talk with millions of views. She, and her books, have received numerous professional awards. In 2023, she was named one of Forbes "50 over 50" women innovators. When she's not writing, teaching, or seeing clients, Laurie enjoys walking, yoga, swimming, and spending time with family and friends.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
644 global ratings
Awesome book!
5 Stars
Awesome book!
This book is amazing! Dr. Mintz answered questions I had for years, and covered topics that I didn’t even know I had questions on. It is a scientific, yet personal, book filled with data (which I love) that will change your life, no matter your gender.
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Top reviews from the United States

Robert Tennyson
5.0 out of 5 stars Wish I had known sooner!
Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2020
Verified Purchase
I read “Becoming Cliterate” for self-improvement reasons. I’m a 44-year-old male. I quickly came to the realization that I was a very poor partner to every woman I’ve ever been with! I wish I had read this at the beginning of my sexual life.

Several times throughout the book, Dr. Mintz referenced women saying something along the lines of “why didn’t I know about this sooner.” Those references coupled with the fact that I wish I had known about this sooner made me realize I should share this with my daughters. So, after getting feedback from the author herself, I gave the book to the older of the two (22 years old) and told her to pass it along to my younger daughter when she’s a bit older.

The book was easy to read and understand, it was a quick read, and the information itself is extremely valuable.
49 people found this helpful
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Amy R.
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for everyone
Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2024
Verified Purchase
As a board certified clinical sexologist, i recommend this book to all of my clients. Dr. Laurie does an incredible job of helping you see how influential language and culture have been on how we view our bodies, sex and intimacy.

The mystery and elusivity of the female orgasm melts away in a way that feels validating to any vulva owner who has ever felt broken, and shares the “secret” to any partner giving pleasure to the vulva owner.

Plus, it’s funny, easy to read and written by a dynamo that is an enormous inspiration to me, personally and professionally. Don’t miss this!
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Dave
4.0 out of 5 stars Book was advertised as “as new” however front cover has crease & book itself is slightly warped.
Reviewed in the United States on August 28, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book is OK but has been over-hyped. I own several bks which are better. In my modest opinion the book is over-priced on all platforms. Soft-cover edition was issued in 2018 at $16.99.
4 people found this helpful
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Christina M. Mcgrath
5.0 out of 5 stars A-FRICKIN-MAZING!
Reviewed in the United States on August 16, 2019
Verified Purchase
I have to admit I am somewhat bias in that I thought Dr. Mintz was incredible before reading this book. However, after reading it, I KNOW she is incredible. This book gives so much great information for both cis men and women and anyone who has a vulva or engages in sexual activity with those who have a vulva. I love that there are real stories from real women who have had difficulties with sexual pleasure and how they discovered (with and without partners) how to become orgasmic. This book is clever and witty and so much fun to read. As a mental health clinician, this is a great resource for many of my clients.
23 people found this helpful
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Lisa K.
5.0 out of 5 stars The BEST female sexual wellness book!
Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2022
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I recently listened to “Becoming Cliterate” on Audible and it is hands down the best female sexual wellness book I have read (and I have read A LOT of books on the topic in the past 2 years). I love it so much I ordered the paperback just to have on my shelf just to appreciate. I love how Dr. Mintz normalizes so many things that most women assume are wrong with us. I especially love the 4 different plays - brilliant! I have been telling many women in my life that they need to read the book asap! I am amazed that I still have things to learn at 41 but what a fun topic to keep learning about! Thank you Dr. Mintz for your important work and this fabulous book❤️
18 people found this helpful
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Jiaqi Huang
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book and Dr. Mintz
Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2021
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I actually had the privilege of taking a class with Dr. Mintz at the University of Florida and I also watched her TEDxUF talk in person and I was honestly blown away. Her expertise in such an interesting area of research is just fascinating to read. You can tell she is truly passionate about what she researches and cares about educating the public about the orgasm gap and helping women take control of their own pleasure. An absolute pleasure to read. Highly reccomend.
7 people found this helpful
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Rebecca Chalker, PhD
5.0 out of 5 stars The orgasmic advantages of Becoming Cliterate for women...and men!
Reviewed in the United States on June 28, 2017
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Until women—and men—become “Cliterate”, heterosexual pleasure will continue to be owned by men as it has been for millennia. Laurie Mintz’s Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It identifies the first essential steps that women must take in order to achieve equity in pleasure and orgasm. Mintz identifies the essential problem: “”…most people in our culture define sex as intercourse….” The key for women who are tired of disappointing sex is “equal opportunity orgasms” and she encourages women to ask for what they want and walks them through the steps to rewrite the male-focused sexual script. As a Woman’s Studies professor, I know that many of my female students feel cheated by the male control of sex. Becoming Cliterate is based on Mintz’s decades of teaching college students and its sage, hands-on (!) advice will help women of all ages, and their partners, reconceptualize and actualize the benefits of shared pleasure and orgasm. There is also an essential chapter, “Cliteracy—For Him”, that helps men understand that most women don’t orgasm from thrusting alone and helps them see the advantages of shared pleasure opportunities. As one of my male student said, “Why didn’t someone tell me this in the Sixth Grade?”
17 people found this helpful
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Lilly
5.0 out of 5 stars Great resource, fun and easy to read
Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2020
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Research proves women who have read this book are more empowered and sexually satisfied, so what do you have to lose? I love all the research (and discussion of the lack thereof) Dr. Mintz includes in this book. I came away angry about the pleasure gap and with a better knowledge of my body and what I can do to change it. Thank you Dr. Mintz!!
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Top reviews from other countries

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Cliente Kindle
5.0 out of 5 stars Muito muito bom
Reviewed in Brazil on October 28, 2023
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Um livro que elevou os orgasmos ao nível máximo.. bem escrito bem resolvido. Obrigatório pra quem valoriza o gozo. Critorize-se!!
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Shay W
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in Canada on June 26, 2020
Verified Purchase
Great read - arrived quickly - no issues.
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Ornella T
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read
Reviewed in Italy on April 8, 2021
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Great book, should be a must read for all women. Sent photos of some passages to friends (including man) and they decided to buy it too.
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Clara
5.0 out of 5 stars ¡Imprescindible!
Reviewed in Spain on January 11, 2020
Verified Purchase
Este libro es perfecto en todos los sentidos. Merece muchísimo la pena leerlo, tanto hombres como mujeres.

Muy, muy recomendable. ¡Ya es hora de darle al clítoris la importancia que se merece! ;)
One person found this helpful
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R
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant read. Super interesting and illuminating.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 21, 2019
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Brilliant read. Super interesting and illuminating.

This book details our culture’s flawed way of thinking about sex, especially when it comes to women’s orgasms. We’ve been conditioned by porn, movies, books, mainstream media etc to believe that the only way for a woman to orgasm with a male partner is through penetration alone and lots of thrusting of his penis. This is the most reliable way for a man to orgasm, after all. But it’s been proven that only a small minority of women orgasm this way! So why does society continue to perpetuate this myth? And herein lies the issue and why the orgasm gap is so large.

The most reliable way for women to orgasm is through stimulation of their clitoris. (Any men reading this review, please re-read that last sentence!) Yes, penetration feels great, and often penetration plus clitoral stimulation feels really great, but penetration alone is not likely to lead to a female orgasm. Many women fake it because we’ve been made to feel like we’re odd/broken in some way because we don’t orgasm through penetration. WE’RE NOT. It’s totally normal.

This book highlights the myths and misunderstandings that have shaped our thinking about sex today and then educates and makes suggestions as to how we can change this outdated and incorrect view.

One of the facts that blew my mind was that we call the whole of the female genitals a vagina. This is scientifically incorrect. The outside bits are called a vulva. The inside bits are the vagina. The author makes some interesting points about why this matters, especially because the vulva includes the clitoris. I shall never use the wrong word again.

I also loved learning that the clitoris has no other function than pleasure. That’s right, it’s purely there for a woman’s entertainment and orgasm!

The author also argues that clitoral stimulation (when a woman is more likely to orgasm) is often lumped in ‘foreplay’ and that penetration (when a man is more likely to orgasm) is considered the main event of heterosexual intercourse. This definition needs to change. For a woman, what is called ‘foreplay’ is the main event, it’s not the warm up or the least important part.

This book also tackles one-night stands (why men generally orgasm and women rarely do on a hook up and how to change that), masturbation (with some practical, hands-on advice…), how to communicate about sex to tell partners what you like, sex education and more.

Becoming Cliterate is not just for women, it’s also for men and there’s a dedicated section. This enlightening book is a must-read for those who think it’s time we change our perspective on sex because orgasm equality does matter. Men are having at least three times more orgasms than women – it’s time we caught up ladies!
5 people found this helpful
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