The best books about horrible things happening to your body

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated with bodies: the meaning we make of them; the suffering, joy, and indignities we receive through them; the outer limits of what we can do to and with them. I’ve worked in careers that have asked a lot of my own body, and I write about the brutalities humans inflict upon our own and other bodies. My work is obsessed with questions of how and why we endure suffering. Also, I’ve done a lot of dumb shit to and with my own body that has given me (in addition to a lifetime of medical problems) a highly specific perspective about intensity, hazard, and pain.


I wrote...

Brutalities: A Love Story

By Margo Steines,

Book cover of Brutalities: A Love Story

What is my book about?

Quarantined in a southwestern desert city in the midst of her high-risk pregnancy, Margo Steines felt her life narrow around her growing body, compelling her to reckon with the violence entangled in its history. She was a professional dominatrix in New York City, a homestead farmer in a brutal relationship, a welder on a high-rise building crew, and a mixed martial arts enthusiast; each of her many lives brought a new perspective on how power and masculinity coalesce―and how far she could push her body toward the brink. With unflinching candor, Steines searches for the roots of her erstwhile attraction to pain while charting the complicated triumph of gentleness and love.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of My Body

Margo Steines Why did I love this book?

I knew this book was going to grab me from the first lines, and it held my attention the whole way, through essays on a singularly hyperbolic experience of being a woman in a body.

There is a frankness here, and a persistent scratching at the surface of her own motivations and complicities, that helped me understand some of my own complicated feelings about attention, and insecurity, and what it means to be a creative. If you’ve ever had an uncomfortable relationship to your own beauty, this book is a floodlight and a microscope for that experience. 

By Emily Ratajkowski,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked My Body as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"My Body offers a lucid examination of the mirrors in which its author has seen herself, and her indoctrination into the cult of beauty as defined by powerful men. In its more transcendent passages . . . the author steps beyond the reach of any 'Pygmalion' and becomes a more dangerous kind of beautiful. She becomes a kind of god in her own right: an artist."
―Melissa Febos, The New York Times Book Review

A deeply honest investigation of what it means to be a woman and a commodity from Emily Ratajkowski, the archetypal, multi-hyphenate…


Book cover of The Empathy Exams: Essays

Margo Steines Why did I love this book?

If I could only have one book for the rest of my life it would be this one.

The ur-text of braided essays, and of essay collections, LJ asks us to look at pain, obsession, care, and empathy through radically surprising lenses. In my favorite of the collected essays, “The Devil’s Bait,” she creates a sense of quantum reality that demands that the reader see their own skepticism and ableism, while at the same time implanting a persistent anxiety around the possibility that they might in fact be vulnerable to the very thing they are judging.

By Leslie Jamison,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Empathy Exams as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From personal loss to phantom diseases, The Empathy Exams is a bold and brilliant collection, winner of the Graywolf Press Nonfiction Prize

A Publishers Weekly Top Ten Essay Collection of Spring 2014

Beginning with her experience as a medical actor who was paid to act out symptoms for medical students to diagnose, Leslie Jamison's visceral and revealing essays ask essential questions about our basic understanding of others: How should we care about each other? How can we feel another's pain, especially when pain can be assumed, distorted, or performed? Is empathy a tool by which to test or even grade…


Book cover of Lightning Flowers: My Journey to Uncover the Cost of Saving a Life

Margo Steines Why did I love this book?

What if you got hit by lightning? What if the lightning came from inside your body? What if you are such an obsessive writer and researcher that you then had to trace the supply chain of the failed medical device that did that to you?

KS does body writing as a research quest, taking her battered heart back and forth across the Atlantic in pursuit of answers to the question of what, exactly, she’d been carrying around in it. The sense of vulnerability—medical, economic, and otherwise—that she creates within the narrative is so felt that I couldn’t shake it when I was done reading.

By Katherine E. Standefer,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Lightning Flowers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What if a lifesaving medical device causes loss of life along its supply chain? That's the question Katherine E. Standefer finds herself asking one night after being suddenly shocked by her implanted cardiac defibrillator.

In this gripping, intimate memoir about health, illness, and the invisible reverberating effects of our medical system, Standefer recounts the astonishing true story of the rare diagnosis that upended her rugged life in the mountains of Wyoming and sent her tumbling into a fraught maze of cardiology units, dramatic surgeries, and slow, painful recoveries. As her life increasingly comes to revolve around the internal defibrillator freshly…


Book cover of Butts: A Backstory

Margo Steines Why did I love this book?

I honestly bought this book because the cover was so awesome and fun and design-y, but I stayed up reading it for the intricate research, complexity of thought, and highly engaging voice.

It was both a fun and challenging read, and I was particularly impressed with the way HR used her own lived experience as a lens while resisting making it the subject. I learned so much about many cultural products that I personally have enjoyed and engaged with, and it made me think anew about my relationship to my own body and the degree to which it is culturally dictated.

Anyone who has ever loved or hated a butt, or who has a butt, should read this book.

By Heather Radke,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Butts as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

One of Esquire's 20 Best Books of Fall * One of Time's Most Anticipated Books of Fall

"A deeply thought, rigorously researched, and riveting history of human butts. Radke knows exactly when to approach her subject with levity and when with gravity. A pitch perfect debut." -Melissa Febos, bestselling author of Girlhood and Body Work

Whether we love them or hate them, think they're sexy, think they're strange, consider them too big, too small, or anywhere in between, humans have a complicated relationship with butts. It is a body part unique to humans, critical to our evolution and survival, and…


Book cover of The Two Kinds of Decay

Margo Steines Why did I love this book?

This book fucked me up so much, in the best of ways.

It is spare, tonal, and manages to lay it all out there with an economy of language that allows the more horrifying aspects (there are many) of Manguso’s medical odyssey through debilitating chronic illness to really resonate. There are details of what she endured that rattle around my head regularly. SM uses language to make you understand experiences that most people (if you’re lucky) will never have to feel.

By Sarah Manguso,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Two Kinds of Decay as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A Spare and Unsparing Look at Affliction and Recovery that Heralds a Stunning New Voice

The events that began in 1995 might keep happening to me as long as things can happen to me. Think of deep space, through which heavenly bodies fly forever. They fly until they change into new forms, simpler forms, with ever fewer qualities and increasingly beautiful names.

There are names for things in spacetime that are nothing, for things that are less than nothing. White dwarfs, red giants, black holes, singularities.

But even then, in their less-than-nothing state, they keep happening.

At twenty-one, just starting…


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Acquaintance

By Jeff Stookey,

Book cover of Acquaintance

Jeff Stookey Author Of Dangerous Medicine

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Historical fiction writer Gay male Reader History buff Curious human

Jeff's 3 favorite reads in 2023

What is my book about?

As a young doctor, Carl Holman has experienced the horrors of World War I and the death of his lover, a fellow officer. Back home after the War, he befriends a young jazz musician who he hopes will become a companion he can share his life with. But this is Oregon: the Ku Klux Klan is gaining influence, homosexual acts are illegal, and such a relationship will jeopardize Carl’s promising medical career.

Musician Jimmy Harper has his own dreams for the future and his own obstacles to overcome before he will allow himself to accept Carl’s love. More than a gay love story, Acquaintance is a deep dive into gay and lesbian history based on extensive period research of the 1920s.

Acquaintance

By Jeff Stookey,

What is this book about?

As a young surgeon, Carl Holman has experienced the horrors of World War I and the loss of his lover, a fellow officer. Back home after the war, he befriends a young jazz musician who he hopes will become a companion he can share his life with. But this is Oregon: the Ku Klux Klan is gaining influence, homosexual acts are illegal, and such a relationship will jeopardize Carl’s promising medical career. Musician Jimmy Harper has his own dreams for the future and his own obstacles to overcome before he will allow himself to accept Carl’s love.
Acquaintance is a…


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